K
kittykat
Former Member
Less than 4 days til I go for the first time in years.... really nervous, please read and reply
Hi I'm new here, but have been reading the forum for about a month without registering or posting
I finally decided to make an appointment after not going for about 4 years, which isn't that long compared to what I've been reading, but I'm still very nervous about going back.
Here's my story:
I'm 18 and I've been terrified of going ever since I had a really bad experience about 4 years ago. I live in the US and not sure how things work in other countries, but my dad was out of a job at the time and I was on insurance that limited my options of going to a good dentist, which is probably the reason why I had such an awful experience. I went to one of those "chain dentist offices" where they have a whole bunch of them, and I guess it's cheaper, because that's the only place my sh*tty insurance would let me go to. It troubled me that every time I went there I saw a different dentist. I couldn't build a trust with anyone. I guess they just assumed that because I was a kid it didn't matter or something, but it had a huge impact on me. For some reason, they never talked to me about what they were going to do and just talked to my mom and I had no idea why something was happening. That was probably because I was so young and they assumed I couldn't make decisions for myself, but it made me feel like I had no control over anything. I didn't go for 3 years after I got my braces off (I vowed I'd never go back after they all treated me like I was dirt and had a lot of experiences with them dropping bits of wire in my mouth, and cleaning my teeth so roughly that I actually cried!!!) and my parents were totally oblivious that I hadn't gone, and then my mom finally noticed last summer. I told her I would never ever go back because of the way I was treated there (all of them acted like they had no idea what they were doing!!) and she made an appointment with her dentist. Well, I managed to make up an excuse for why I couldn't go to any of the appointments she made and my mom got mad at me.
I don't think she understood that I had serious trust issues and was very scared, because when I told her I was scared and that I was scarred for life after she sent me to an incompetent dentist for all those years, she just told me to "get over it" and to "stop being a baby." Then, she called the dentist and asked if I could just go meet her and see her office. I went with my mom to go meet her and when we got there, she was busy, so I met her assistant instead. The assistant acted really rude towards me and like we were wasting her time. When we finally met the dentist, she yelled at me for not going in so long and after we made small talk and I told her I was going to nursing school, she said "Then why are you scared of going to the dentist? It's the same thing." Actually, I don't think it's the same thing at all. The hospital setting is way different than a dentist office in regards to sounds, sights, and smells. Also, doing a procedure is way easier than having something done to you. Meeting this dentist only made me more nervous and they forced me right then and there to set up an appointment that I couldn't back out of. I didn't want to be rude and tell them I thought they were mean b*tches because my mom was right there, so I made an appointment and then thought of excuses that I could use to cancel at the last second.
Luckily, I managed to keep making excuses and eventually, the dentist said I couldn't ever go to her because of all the times I cancelled. I was so happy that I would never have to see or hear of that awful woman ever again.
About a year after that, my mom kept bringing up every chance she could about how I really needed to go and that my teeth were all going to fall out. She even publicly humiliated me about my fears while at dinner with one of her co-workers who I really admire. He even laughed at me and I can't even look at him anymore now that he knows my biggest fear. It's weird because my mom is usually a very caring and understanding person, but I guess she just can't sympathize with my fears because she's not scared. Because of this, I worried that I would never find a dentist that would understand what I was going through.
My dad got a new, great job this year with a Japanese company that gave us a Cadillac health insurance plan, which means I can go to any dentist I want now. I looked online for a dentist once I had decided that I really should go, and found something called a "dental spa" which sounds promising. I looked on their website and it seemed like the perfect place to go for "scardey cats" like me. They offer warm blankets, TV you can watch during procedures, noise-cancelling headphones, and even massages I decided to check them out and emailed them to see if I could visit (Emailed, because talking to people is scary, and talking to dentists is even scarier) and I went to go see their office.
It was really nice and relaxing and all of the people there were so nice (and all the girls were very beautiful!) and I actually decided to make an appointment with them. I didn't get to meet the dentist, as he was busy, but I was impressed just by seeing the office and meeting all the hygenists. I emailed them a few days later and asked them if I could talk with someone via email regarding my fears, and they told me I could. I then sent them a HUGE email about absolutely everything I could think of that scared me (from noises to being tipped back in the chair) and they replied, with a solution to everything I was concerned about.
That did make me feel more comfortable, but as the date approaches (July 10th!) I'm starting to go into panic mode and freaking out about all the usual stuff (what will they find, think of me, what if I cry, what if it hurts, ect.) but I'm hoping I'll have a positive experience and I think I will! They told me they would give me laughing gas, which I hope they remember, because I know I won't be able to talk to them when I get there! But then I also worry about what they'll think of me for needing laughing gas just for a check up...
Thanks for letting me vent. Does anyone have any experiences like mine?
Hi I'm new here, but have been reading the forum for about a month without registering or posting
I finally decided to make an appointment after not going for about 4 years, which isn't that long compared to what I've been reading, but I'm still very nervous about going back.
Here's my story:
I'm 18 and I've been terrified of going ever since I had a really bad experience about 4 years ago. I live in the US and not sure how things work in other countries, but my dad was out of a job at the time and I was on insurance that limited my options of going to a good dentist, which is probably the reason why I had such an awful experience. I went to one of those "chain dentist offices" where they have a whole bunch of them, and I guess it's cheaper, because that's the only place my sh*tty insurance would let me go to. It troubled me that every time I went there I saw a different dentist. I couldn't build a trust with anyone. I guess they just assumed that because I was a kid it didn't matter or something, but it had a huge impact on me. For some reason, they never talked to me about what they were going to do and just talked to my mom and I had no idea why something was happening. That was probably because I was so young and they assumed I couldn't make decisions for myself, but it made me feel like I had no control over anything. I didn't go for 3 years after I got my braces off (I vowed I'd never go back after they all treated me like I was dirt and had a lot of experiences with them dropping bits of wire in my mouth, and cleaning my teeth so roughly that I actually cried!!!) and my parents were totally oblivious that I hadn't gone, and then my mom finally noticed last summer. I told her I would never ever go back because of the way I was treated there (all of them acted like they had no idea what they were doing!!) and she made an appointment with her dentist. Well, I managed to make up an excuse for why I couldn't go to any of the appointments she made and my mom got mad at me.
I don't think she understood that I had serious trust issues and was very scared, because when I told her I was scared and that I was scarred for life after she sent me to an incompetent dentist for all those years, she just told me to "get over it" and to "stop being a baby." Then, she called the dentist and asked if I could just go meet her and see her office. I went with my mom to go meet her and when we got there, she was busy, so I met her assistant instead. The assistant acted really rude towards me and like we were wasting her time. When we finally met the dentist, she yelled at me for not going in so long and after we made small talk and I told her I was going to nursing school, she said "Then why are you scared of going to the dentist? It's the same thing." Actually, I don't think it's the same thing at all. The hospital setting is way different than a dentist office in regards to sounds, sights, and smells. Also, doing a procedure is way easier than having something done to you. Meeting this dentist only made me more nervous and they forced me right then and there to set up an appointment that I couldn't back out of. I didn't want to be rude and tell them I thought they were mean b*tches because my mom was right there, so I made an appointment and then thought of excuses that I could use to cancel at the last second.
Luckily, I managed to keep making excuses and eventually, the dentist said I couldn't ever go to her because of all the times I cancelled. I was so happy that I would never have to see or hear of that awful woman ever again.
About a year after that, my mom kept bringing up every chance she could about how I really needed to go and that my teeth were all going to fall out. She even publicly humiliated me about my fears while at dinner with one of her co-workers who I really admire. He even laughed at me and I can't even look at him anymore now that he knows my biggest fear. It's weird because my mom is usually a very caring and understanding person, but I guess she just can't sympathize with my fears because she's not scared. Because of this, I worried that I would never find a dentist that would understand what I was going through.
My dad got a new, great job this year with a Japanese company that gave us a Cadillac health insurance plan, which means I can go to any dentist I want now. I looked online for a dentist once I had decided that I really should go, and found something called a "dental spa" which sounds promising. I looked on their website and it seemed like the perfect place to go for "scardey cats" like me. They offer warm blankets, TV you can watch during procedures, noise-cancelling headphones, and even massages I decided to check them out and emailed them to see if I could visit (Emailed, because talking to people is scary, and talking to dentists is even scarier) and I went to go see their office.
It was really nice and relaxing and all of the people there were so nice (and all the girls were very beautiful!) and I actually decided to make an appointment with them. I didn't get to meet the dentist, as he was busy, but I was impressed just by seeing the office and meeting all the hygenists. I emailed them a few days later and asked them if I could talk with someone via email regarding my fears, and they told me I could. I then sent them a HUGE email about absolutely everything I could think of that scared me (from noises to being tipped back in the chair) and they replied, with a solution to everything I was concerned about.
That did make me feel more comfortable, but as the date approaches (July 10th!) I'm starting to go into panic mode and freaking out about all the usual stuff (what will they find, think of me, what if I cry, what if it hurts, ect.) but I'm hoping I'll have a positive experience and I think I will! They told me they would give me laughing gas, which I hope they remember, because I know I won't be able to talk to them when I get there! But then I also worry about what they'll think of me for needing laughing gas just for a check up...
Thanks for letting me vent. Does anyone have any experiences like mine?