S
Spider
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2013
- Messages
- 145
- Location
- Pacific Northwest, USA
My back story:
I’ve been a member since 2013 and I kind of had my dental anxiety under control. I was going for cleanings every 6 months and on occasion, the dentist would do a small filling. I never was “cured” of my anxiety, but from the outside, I probably appeared normal. Worry crept in immediately after each cleaning, and would worsen as the countdown to the next 6 month cleaning approached. May and November were months to dread because of a single 40 minute cleaning appointment. I managed well because my hygienist was an angel. She was so loving and gentle and would pause during cleanings to massage my jaw muscles (I have bad TMJ). The dentist was okayish, but I didn't see him much because I would only need a small cavity filled on occasion.
Last year we spontaneously moved across the country in October. I had to cancel my cleaning appointment, which was thrilling! It was nice to leave behind the anticipation of an upcoming cleaning, but deep down inside I became even more fearful because I would have to see a new dentist once we settled in. The day finally came, and I made an appointment for myself at a dental practice in my new town. The office was clean, welcoming and friendly. The dentist was gentle and non-threatening. I told them that I have extreme anxiety and I often have panic attacks if I feel trapped or out of control. The dentist had a little camera and he went from tooth to tooth and showed me what was wrong. Every molar has something that needs repairing. Every. Single. Molar. My soul was crushed. I don’t understand how things could go south so quickly. I’m pretty sure the problems have been lingering for awhile, because I haven’t changed my flossing/brushing routines. My last dentist wasn’t very thorough, and this dentist was extremely thorough. I wasn’t mentally prepared to hear that my teeth are decaying away.
Now every minute that goes by is spent with me thinking about my teeth. I'm in a constant state of panic and its ruining my life. I hate being snippy with my kids, and being unable to sleep, and being unable to do anything enjoyable because I'm so hyper focused on my teeth and my physical symptoms.
I made an appointment at the end of the month to have one smaller cavity filled as a “test appointment”, since the dentist wants to show me that it won’t be so bad. I might try nitrous oxide for the first time. I'm also an emetophobe (phobia of vomit), so now I'm worried about the nitrous making me nauseous.
Also, since I'm sharing all my terrible secrets, I'm borderline agoraphobic. My home is my "safe spot" and I suffer from anxiety if I need to stray too far. So in addition to dental phobia, I'm terrified of vomiting, and I don't function well when I leave home. I hide all this craziness quite well
I'm also embarrassed that I made a fool of myself by crying during x-rays and nervously babbling on and on about being freaked out. I live on a farm, 20 minutes outside of a small town. I finally talked to some real life people and I made a fool of myself. I feel so alone, scared and overwhelmed and I hate that I let some stupid teeth ruin my happiness.
My goal is to update my journal here and hope that by writing down my fears, I will find healing and peace so I can make it through months and years of dentist torture. If you made it this far, thank you!
I’ve been a member since 2013 and I kind of had my dental anxiety under control. I was going for cleanings every 6 months and on occasion, the dentist would do a small filling. I never was “cured” of my anxiety, but from the outside, I probably appeared normal. Worry crept in immediately after each cleaning, and would worsen as the countdown to the next 6 month cleaning approached. May and November were months to dread because of a single 40 minute cleaning appointment. I managed well because my hygienist was an angel. She was so loving and gentle and would pause during cleanings to massage my jaw muscles (I have bad TMJ). The dentist was okayish, but I didn't see him much because I would only need a small cavity filled on occasion.
Last year we spontaneously moved across the country in October. I had to cancel my cleaning appointment, which was thrilling! It was nice to leave behind the anticipation of an upcoming cleaning, but deep down inside I became even more fearful because I would have to see a new dentist once we settled in. The day finally came, and I made an appointment for myself at a dental practice in my new town. The office was clean, welcoming and friendly. The dentist was gentle and non-threatening. I told them that I have extreme anxiety and I often have panic attacks if I feel trapped or out of control. The dentist had a little camera and he went from tooth to tooth and showed me what was wrong. Every molar has something that needs repairing. Every. Single. Molar. My soul was crushed. I don’t understand how things could go south so quickly. I’m pretty sure the problems have been lingering for awhile, because I haven’t changed my flossing/brushing routines. My last dentist wasn’t very thorough, and this dentist was extremely thorough. I wasn’t mentally prepared to hear that my teeth are decaying away.
Now every minute that goes by is spent with me thinking about my teeth. I'm in a constant state of panic and its ruining my life. I hate being snippy with my kids, and being unable to sleep, and being unable to do anything enjoyable because I'm so hyper focused on my teeth and my physical symptoms.
I made an appointment at the end of the month to have one smaller cavity filled as a “test appointment”, since the dentist wants to show me that it won’t be so bad. I might try nitrous oxide for the first time. I'm also an emetophobe (phobia of vomit), so now I'm worried about the nitrous making me nauseous.
Also, since I'm sharing all my terrible secrets, I'm borderline agoraphobic. My home is my "safe spot" and I suffer from anxiety if I need to stray too far. So in addition to dental phobia, I'm terrified of vomiting, and I don't function well when I leave home. I hide all this craziness quite well
I'm also embarrassed that I made a fool of myself by crying during x-rays and nervously babbling on and on about being freaked out. I live on a farm, 20 minutes outside of a small town. I finally talked to some real life people and I made a fool of myself. I feel so alone, scared and overwhelmed and I hate that I let some stupid teeth ruin my happiness.
My goal is to update my journal here and hope that by writing down my fears, I will find healing and peace so I can make it through months and years of dentist torture. If you made it this far, thank you!