K
KMT
Junior member
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2021
- Messages
- 5
- Location
- Western US
Hi all — was very happy to have found this forum after making my first dentist appointment in 10+ years this morning. I'm absolutely filled with anxiety and am hoping to find some support and reassurance as I try to ready myself for this Tuesday ? I'd also like to share my story, as I think it'll help to sort out why I'm feeling this way and hopefully help me to better communicate my fears and history with the dentist I'm seeing next week. Excuse the long post! I also will be talking a bit about some traumatic experiences with dentists and orthodontists, so I want to put a trigger warning for anyone that may be upset — I certainly don't want to contribute to derailing someone else's progress!
I've been afraid of the dentist for what feels like my entire life — my first experience in a dentist's office was having to wait in the waiting room while my big sister had 2 cavities filled. I could hear her screaming from there, and she cried the whole way home! Knowing what I know now about that dentist, I'm sure he didn't give nearly enough numbing agent and likely no sedative whatsoever, but from then on I dreaded my first appointment. When that time came, my father (who I love dearly, but is very pragmatic and prefers to have well-informed children rather than providing "unnecessary" comforts) answered my questions before the appointment with perhaps too much transparency — I remember checking with my mom to see if he was just trying to scare me with talk of using a drill on my teeth if I had a cavity. Drills are for construction and toolkits! She was not pleased with him, but confirmed it was the truth and brought me to my appointment, which was with the "family" dentist that my father had seen his whole life. This man likely meant well, but his tactics were fear and scolding. I didn't have any cavities, but he scolded me for not flossing (I was about 6 years old and hadn't ever been taught) and told me all the scary things that could happen if I didn't take proper care of my teeth. I always DREADED going to see him, and that was also when I started to feel extreme anxiety even when driving past a dentist's office (even when it wasn't my own dentist)!
By my middle school years, I still hadn't had a cavity, but still absolutely dreaded any dentist visit, so you can imagine my delight when I had to start going to the orthodontist (sarcasm)! My brother had had extensive orthodontia while in middle school and often left the office sobbing due to the pain caused and the terrible bedside manner of the town's primary orthodontist, so I also went in with fear due to that association. My mom initially brought me to that same orthodontist, who determined that the only way to cure my "tongue thrust" was to fit me for a device of his own making that had sharp metal bits that would poke my tongue any time it were to thrust. I had the device on for about 3 days before being brought back to have it removed — my tongue was being absolutely mangled every single time I swallowed or spoke! We switched to a different orthodontist who unfortunately was not much better — he was terribly mean, and his assistants would gossip about patients in the lab room because they thought we couldn't hear them! His office was also set up to have all 4 exam chairs lined up in one room with no dividers, so every visit was an exercise in embarrassment. In one of my first visits, the assistants taking the mold forgot about me, and not only was I gagging when they came back to remove it, but it had hardened enough that it pulled out two teeth! I was also supposed to have braces for only 1 year, but in the end it was 3 — luckily my parents brought me in to have them taken off before my senior year of high school (despite the orthodontist telling them off in front of the whole office for that decision)! He was truly the meanest man — he would accuse me of lying, he would openly yell at patients (I remember once him storming off and yelling at a small child for crying, saying he couldn't work on her while she was crying), and even told me that my teeth would have stains once I got my braces off because I was lying about brushing and flossing. They were stain-free when the braces came off, though!
My dentist at the time wasn't much better — this was a new one, as the "family" dentist had by then retired, but he would scold me for all sorts of things despite my not having cavities, and once when the orthodontist suggested I have 4 teeth extracted as part of my treatment plan, and my parents and I opted to only have 2 extracted, he put me under and went ahead and pulled all 4. His reaction when telling me was something along the lines of "ha, I tricked you!"
All of this led to me neglecting any visits to dentists for the last 10 years. I've carried immense guilt for this neglect, and feel completely embarrassed by the state of my teeth. I began to feel serious tooth pain a few days ago and have been wracked with panic since then (which is saying something, given that I have diagnosed general anxiety anyway)! After waking up in the middle of the night last night and having a full-blown panic attack and trouble breathing, I decided it was time to make an appointment this morning. I called the first local office that came up when I googled "dental anxiety" in my area, but the receptionist was curt and they don't take my insurance. I managed to muster up the courage to call another office, and this receptionist was nice and booked one for Tuesday. This dentist has very good reviews, so I'm hoping for the best!
I've been a wreck all day since making the appointment, and it will probably only get worse as the day approaches. I'm trying to think about how relieved I'll be once this is done, but given that I'm based in the US, I am also extremely worried about the financial implications I'm likely about to face. I wish I could just fast-forward and be done with it (and maybe win the lottery along the way)!
Thank you to anyone who reads this far, and for everyone being so lovely and supportive in this forum and when sharing your stories. It's really helped me to feel more reassured and prepared for this appointment. Fingers crossed that all goes as well as it can! ?
I've been afraid of the dentist for what feels like my entire life — my first experience in a dentist's office was having to wait in the waiting room while my big sister had 2 cavities filled. I could hear her screaming from there, and she cried the whole way home! Knowing what I know now about that dentist, I'm sure he didn't give nearly enough numbing agent and likely no sedative whatsoever, but from then on I dreaded my first appointment. When that time came, my father (who I love dearly, but is very pragmatic and prefers to have well-informed children rather than providing "unnecessary" comforts) answered my questions before the appointment with perhaps too much transparency — I remember checking with my mom to see if he was just trying to scare me with talk of using a drill on my teeth if I had a cavity. Drills are for construction and toolkits! She was not pleased with him, but confirmed it was the truth and brought me to my appointment, which was with the "family" dentist that my father had seen his whole life. This man likely meant well, but his tactics were fear and scolding. I didn't have any cavities, but he scolded me for not flossing (I was about 6 years old and hadn't ever been taught) and told me all the scary things that could happen if I didn't take proper care of my teeth. I always DREADED going to see him, and that was also when I started to feel extreme anxiety even when driving past a dentist's office (even when it wasn't my own dentist)!
By my middle school years, I still hadn't had a cavity, but still absolutely dreaded any dentist visit, so you can imagine my delight when I had to start going to the orthodontist (sarcasm)! My brother had had extensive orthodontia while in middle school and often left the office sobbing due to the pain caused and the terrible bedside manner of the town's primary orthodontist, so I also went in with fear due to that association. My mom initially brought me to that same orthodontist, who determined that the only way to cure my "tongue thrust" was to fit me for a device of his own making that had sharp metal bits that would poke my tongue any time it were to thrust. I had the device on for about 3 days before being brought back to have it removed — my tongue was being absolutely mangled every single time I swallowed or spoke! We switched to a different orthodontist who unfortunately was not much better — he was terribly mean, and his assistants would gossip about patients in the lab room because they thought we couldn't hear them! His office was also set up to have all 4 exam chairs lined up in one room with no dividers, so every visit was an exercise in embarrassment. In one of my first visits, the assistants taking the mold forgot about me, and not only was I gagging when they came back to remove it, but it had hardened enough that it pulled out two teeth! I was also supposed to have braces for only 1 year, but in the end it was 3 — luckily my parents brought me in to have them taken off before my senior year of high school (despite the orthodontist telling them off in front of the whole office for that decision)! He was truly the meanest man — he would accuse me of lying, he would openly yell at patients (I remember once him storming off and yelling at a small child for crying, saying he couldn't work on her while she was crying), and even told me that my teeth would have stains once I got my braces off because I was lying about brushing and flossing. They were stain-free when the braces came off, though!
My dentist at the time wasn't much better — this was a new one, as the "family" dentist had by then retired, but he would scold me for all sorts of things despite my not having cavities, and once when the orthodontist suggested I have 4 teeth extracted as part of my treatment plan, and my parents and I opted to only have 2 extracted, he put me under and went ahead and pulled all 4. His reaction when telling me was something along the lines of "ha, I tricked you!"All of this led to me neglecting any visits to dentists for the last 10 years. I've carried immense guilt for this neglect, and feel completely embarrassed by the state of my teeth. I began to feel serious tooth pain a few days ago and have been wracked with panic since then (which is saying something, given that I have diagnosed general anxiety anyway)! After waking up in the middle of the night last night and having a full-blown panic attack and trouble breathing, I decided it was time to make an appointment this morning. I called the first local office that came up when I googled "dental anxiety" in my area, but the receptionist was curt and they don't take my insurance. I managed to muster up the courage to call another office, and this receptionist was nice and booked one for Tuesday. This dentist has very good reviews, so I'm hoping for the best!
I've been a wreck all day since making the appointment, and it will probably only get worse as the day approaches. I'm trying to think about how relieved I'll be once this is done, but given that I'm based in the US, I am also extremely worried about the financial implications I'm likely about to face. I wish I could just fast-forward and be done with it (and maybe win the lottery along the way)!
Thank you to anyone who reads this far, and for everyone being so lovely and supportive in this forum and when sharing your stories. It's really helped me to feel more reassured and prepared for this appointment. Fingers crossed that all goes as well as it can! ?
,
Remember: if it's scary, you're doing it right. Dentists are scary and it's difficult to go, that's what the phobia is about. You are doing a great job in pushing yourself anyway and at the same time being aware of what you need.
