Little bit of help? or hope?!

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rnb972

Junior member
Joined
Mar 17, 2010
Messages
10
Hello there.

So I registered on here over three years ago and still I live in fear and have not been to the dentist. Well I broke another tooth yesterday and my partner is condemning me to the dentist..Yet does not quite grasp my fear.

I'm 22 and haven't been to the dentist for probably about 8-10 years, I choose not to remember. Last time I went I was aware I needed fillings and I never went back..I couldn't. I know there's probably teeth that need taking out now as well..When I first registered on here, I saw my doctor, expressed my fear and left with a few Diazepam and a kick in the direction of the dentist..well, I wasn't brave enough to even make an appointment with the diazepam let alone make my way there!

I feel so lost and I just don't know what to do..I know I NEED to go..but I struggle to even talk about it, I can't even walk past a dentist without getting anxious or going into full bllown panic mode, how am I supposed to make an appointment/walk in/have the necessary treatment? I'm panicking just at the responses I might get and the fact I know have to talk about it :(

If there's any advice you can give me at all..or just anything that may put my mind at rest even a little, please help!!
:cry::cry::cry:
 
lillyh

lillyh

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
688
Hello,
I know how you feel about being so terrified you can't even walk past a dentist's office.. I hadn't been to a dentist in a long time...Probably 15 years...I get sick to my stomach just thinking about having to go..But in January of this year my back wisdom tooth broke off from decay..I cannot stand pain so I knew I had to go before I was in severe pain...Since then I have been in the E.R. from a panic attck from going to the dentist and having a tooth pulled..My family doctor gave me Ativan for future dental visits..I looked up several dentist in my area and emailed one..He immediately called me back which I took as a good sign..We talked for a long time and he suggested I come in and look around and talk to him..So I did..He looked in my mouth and took xrays.Nothing more..It wasn't until I had an infected tooth that I went in and had him pull it..He was so good with the shots I never felt them...And it didn't hurt when he pulled my tooth either..The trick is to find a great dentist who will listen, has compassion, patience, and is willing to explain everything so there is no surprises...Then you learn to trust him...then it is less scary to go to the dentist...Plus my dentist told me the last visit that he never judges!!! Very important....Good luck..I hope you get to a dentist....
 
P

perfectlife

Junior member
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
16
I'm so sorry you're in this spot right now. I know exactly how you feel. You could be me. A couple months ago I really needed to go to the dentist because my back molar had broken a long time ago and was getting worse and worse as I neglected it (and all my other teeth). I didn't know how to go when I couldn't even talk about the dentist, couldn't stand toothpaste commercials, let alone walking past a dentist office. My heart would speed up any time I came across anything to do with teeth and that fear would creep in. well, like I said I needed to go, I was in pain constantly and it was making me sick, I couldn't eat etc... I was losing weight, not to mention I couldn't take care of my two small kids the way they needed me, I am also nursing my 8 month old still... so that was taking a toll. The only way I was able to go was the support of my husband. He was the one who called the dentist and made the appointment. He took me. He held my hand.

Does your partner support you fully? Would they take you to the dentist and help to comfort you? What helped me so much was to know I am in control when I go to the dentist. At the word "stop" they would stop. Make sure you communicate with your dentist when/if you do go. Be open about your fears... I was. They were compassionate with me.. if your dentist isn't, you need to find a new one who is caring and understanding of how you feel. Remember to breathe. You can do this. You don't need to live in pain or embarrassment... if you ever need to talk just PM me. I am 26 and had only been to the dentist a couple times in my life... mostly for emergencies... I've had 2 teeth pulled and I am currently working on getting all my cavities filled from my treatment plan (over 20)... as well as getting 2 wisdom teeth pulled. When my first molar was pulled I was devastated and they told me there were other issues and that I needed to come back... I said "yeah, I know, sure" and I bolted for the door... and said to myself, I'm never going back there!


if you stick around here and keep looking for help etc I know you will be able to get to a dentist and feel better about your smile and not be held down by fear.
let us know how it goes and when you call to talk to a dentist etc... good luck!
 
Aldridge

Aldridge

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
347
I too know how you feel. I used to cross the road to avoid walking past the dental surgery. (I would rather have got run over, lol!) I didn't go for over 20 years. What really helped with the first visit was that the dentist I went to was really highly recommended by a very nervous friend of mine. Try asking around/browsing - see whose name comes up as being good with nervous people. You can e-mail most surgeries these days - maybe try that before actually making an appointment - explain to them like you have to us, and see what response you get. As perfectlife says, be open about your fears. Is there a good friend or a relative who would go with you if you would rather not go alone? (I prefer to go alone so that people don't see the shaking wreck I become in the waiting-room.)
As you gathered, I still get really nervous about going. It is a horrible feeling. The support on here helps A LOT. What also helps me is breaking everything down into very small steps, concentrating only on the next 15 minutes or so on the day I eventually go, and trying not to think "what if..."
"What if..." needs to be firmly shut off before it gets started! I try to mentally lock it away in a corner of my mind, with a big padlock on it and a notice saying, "Do not let me out!"
Apologies if that sounds a bit mad. It does help me though.
I just heard on local radio that they did a poll recently and the top 3 fears people had were spiders, heights and dentists. Most dentists these days (having now found two really good ones myself and having read lots of success stories on here) do seem to understand that people get very nervous (and embarrassed if they have been too nervous to visit a surgery) and they don't judge you.
 
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