Denise,
I hear you, it is REALLY hard to go in after years, (I had several pockets of years I was too afraid) Its very hard to trust again and put yourself in a vulnerable spot to give someone a chance to even take a look. Do you have a place you have thought of going? have you done any research on anxious friendly dentists in your area? I can say of all the previous bad experiences years ago.. the experiences the last few years have been great, compassionate ,competant experiences where they really want to understand and help. Maybe you could even email or call first and tell them you just want to meet them first with no work and see if you feel comfortable. Some dentists will let you do that. And . I can thankfully say that my past 2 dentists and others I have met have been very non shaming, they only want to help you . We have some lovely dentists here on the forum to prove that. But I hope you can go step by step and take care of this so you can have some peace of mind. You are doing alot of things right by coming on here and thinking about taking care of this and also all the self care for your teeth you mentioned.