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Made an appt after years of avoidance - need reassurance/encouragement to follow through

Z

zahnarztangst

Junior member
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
5
Made an appt after years of avoidance - need reassurance/encouragement to follow through

After having some serious tooth pain that wasn't going away, and which I couldn't ignore, I finally made an appointment with a dentist for this week. I have a lot of feelings: lots of guilt and shame, fear of guilting/shaming that the dentist or their staff might judge me, fear of the cost for the work I need to get done, fear of my family/friends judging me if they find out about this (I've kept my avoidance of dentists a secret), etc. I've avoided the dentist for years due to those fears, and of course the dental problems have only gotten worse. This seems to be typical among folks on this forum, which makes me feel less alone (which helps) but I'm still overwhelmed and terrified and can see myself avoiding this or future appointments. Any advice, words of encouragement, etc. is appreciated. I want to be hopeful that these problems are manageable, and proud of myself for stopping the avoidance and making an appointment at all, but it is still really scary.
 
P

Patti

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Messages
746
Location
Michigan, USA
Re: Made an appt after years of avoidance - need reassurance/encouragement to follow through

Please, do not worry about what anyone will think. Just concentrate on YOU. There are more people out there with dental fear than you realize. You hid it & they do too. I avoided the dentist until I was in my 40s. Nobody knew. My thread is here if you want to read it. I was PETRIFIED but nothing was bad at all. Get a dentist you like, trust, and who listens to you. I wrote mine a letter before my appt so he had an idea of where I was at. I wasn't the first patient like this and I won't be the last I'm sure. He took it slow and I had 3 months of weekly visits until I got caught up. Sure, the fear is still there even though in the beginning I didn't know what I was afraid of and now I KNOW there is nothing to be afraid of. Silly. The dental staff will not judge you. They truly want to help you AND nobody is going to shame you. You are a paying customer. Your dentist probably has some kind of payment plan. Take care and good luck. You CAN do this!
 
carole

carole

Well-known member
Forum Buddy
Joined
Jan 5, 2012
Messages
7,538
Location
UK
Re: Made an appt after years of avoidance - need reassurance/encouragement to follow through

Hi :welcome: to the forum.

The dentist isn't going to judge you or tell you off. They are very good and understand that we are nervous and afraid. They will deal with what is and will advise you of the treatment they think you need.

If you feel that you could work with the dentist and feel comfortable with them, then it will make getting treatment a whole lot easier. All treatment can be done pain free.

Good luck :clover::clover::clover: Let us know how you get on at your appointment. You will be okay.
 
A

angel123

Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2013
Messages
51
Re: Made an appt after years of avoidance - need reassurance/encouragement to follow through

After having some serious tooth pain that wasn't going away, and which I couldn't ignore, I finally made an appointment with a dentist for this week. I have a lot of feelings: lots of guilt and shame, fear of guilting/shaming that the dentist or their staff might judge me, fear of the cost for the work I need to get done, fear of my family/friends judging me if they find out about this (I've kept my avoidance of dentists a secret), etc. I've avoided the dentist for years due to those fears, and of course the dental problems have only gotten worse. This seems to be typical among folks on this forum, which makes me feel less alone (which helps) but I'm still overwhelmed and terrified and can see myself avoiding this or future appointments. Any advice, words of encouragement, etc. is appreciated. I want to be hopeful that these problems are manageable, and proud of myself for stopping the avoidance and making an appointment at all, but it is still really scary.

you will be ok - I know exactly how you feel, started my journey today and it feels a LOT better than the avoiding thing was honestly - your are not alone - well done for making the appt and that's almost the hardest bit over with - you can and will go to it xx
 
F

FearInOmaha

Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2013
Messages
61
Re: Made an appt after years of avoidance - need reassurance/encouragement to follow through

One thing to remember is that you don't only people outside your spouse/partner any info about your dental health. You can tell them if you want, but you don't have to. I probably wouldn't have even told my bf, but I needed him to drive me to and from the appointments do to sedation.

People will likely surprise you and not judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. That's especially true for the dentist, who runs across people like us pretty often.

Good luck and let us know how you get on. :clover:
 
J

JazzyJ

Member
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
40
Re: Made an appt after years of avoidance - need reassurance/encouragement to follow through

I have the same fears regarding being judged by the dentist, but I was speaking with my parents with it yesterday and they both said they never had any judgments from them at all, they were just there to help them out and that's that. My mum hadn't been to the dentist for about 30 years after a horrible experience, but she went, and they were so nice that she's completely gotten over her fear. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified also, because I am, but in my head I try to make sense of it by telling myself that toothache is worse than a good dentist, and I think the main fear is the anticipation and unknown of it all. If you've got tooth/gum issues or pain, you're used to it so even though it's painful, embarrassing or unpleasant, because it's already happening, you live with it. But a dentist appointment is like a waiting game, gives you loads of time to worry and speculate. But in reality it can't be as bad as what you're living with or may live with if you never go. I hope you can find your inner-strength to face your fears, I'll be trying to do the same, and I wish you the best :)
 

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