(may trigger)can't go through with root canal

[trustfreezone]

I am phobic, a sexual abuse survivor who was abused orally. I can't stand having someone's hands near my mouth or even my face, and even the smell of the dental dam can make me throw up! I also had a dentist who tied children down to the chair at the same time in my life so the two are really mixed in my head.
Until 6 weeks ago it had been to a dentist in 10 years. The work I had done 10 years ago was done under Xanex and I was only able to make it through part of the treatment plan. I did as much as I could and stopped.
When I first moved to this area researched all the dentists withing 3 towns of my home. I had heard from fellow phobes that Dr. L was very good, but was unable to make the phone call.
About six weeks ago I broke one of my front teeth and had to see a dentist. I didn't sleep for four nights, but made it to the first appt.
I explained my fears and we had been making baby steps towards fixing my mouth. I have two new crowns and one half of my scaling done. (that was the worst part for me) At my last visit on Thursday 07/06 I told Dr L that one of my molars near the one we were working on was painful. It reacts to cold and sometimes takes up to an hour to calm down again. He looked at at xrays, and tried pressure on the tooth and decided he wanted evaluated by an endodontist a three hour drive from my home. PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It took me years to see Dr L even though I know him personally and had many excellent references. Now he is asking me to drive 3 hour towards someone I don't know so they can put things in my mouth and hurt me for several hour at our first meeting. His ever efficient staff managed to get an appt for me on the following Monday so there isn't even time to talk about it.
I asked Dr L to perscribe an anti anxiety medication so I would know I had the option to use it if I needed to. He said he needed to talk to the other dentist to make sure that that would not compromise his ability to test the tooth and that he would call me before the appt. to let me know what was going on. He didn't call, but the other dent did. His assistant called to tell me that since they were sure I was going to need a root canal the same day, I should be prepared to pay for it!
I threw up in the trash can next to my desk. How did I get from.. I can talk myself through going for this eveluation, to you will be trapped and tortured by this man you don't know!
HELP

 

[melodyl]

Oh my god, you poor thing. First of all, take something to settle your stomach. You don't have to keep any appointment you are not ready to keep. Nobody can force you to do anything you don't want to do.

This dentist, Dr. L, seems nice, but he doesn't seem to fully understand your phobia and he should be made aware of how serious this is.

You need to be on anti-anxiety meds anyway, just to be able to go about your day, (at least until this is all over). Are you on anything? Do you have a primary care doctor who can prescribe something for you.
You have been through enough and believe me, in the hands of the right dentist, there is no more torture. Believe me.

Please let us know what part of the world you are posting from. You will find many friends here.

keep posting hon.

Take care,
melody

 

[Nat]

Hi,  

I am so sorry to hear your going through a tough time right now but you have found the right place here, where people can offer support and advice.

Mel just said you dont have to do anything you dont want to do and she is right, have you ever spoken to your dentist at length about why you are phobic? I am pretty sure that if they had any idea why you are frightened then he would have worked with you to get you to see this new person in your own time? I feel for you right now and I hope you manage to talk to your dentist about this, even if it is just a letter it may help you to just write things down for the time being, you dont have to go to this appointment and you dont do anything that makes you uncomfortable  

 

[brit]

What the others have said is right - no one can force you to do anything.
Do you live so far out in the sticks that the nearest endodontist is 3 hours' drive away?
I think it's important to establish whether you are being referred to someone 3 hours away because they are the best and therefore will not give you a bad time; or whether they are the only option for miles in which case, I would be very wary.
Either way the endodontist needs to be aware of your fears so he can treat you appropriately - you may prefer nitrous oxide for instance.

If you are totally happy with your current dentist then it is reasonable to assume that he would only refer you to an endodontist he trusts because it's going reflect badly on him if you are less than happy with the service.

Maybe you need to buy more time - fake an illness - cancel the appt - ask your questions and only rebook if you are happy with the reassurances you are given. For that distance I really think you should also take someone with you.
Best wishes

 

[trustfreezone]

Hi, it's me again. I called both dentists over the weekend ( while they were closed) and said I can't do this. The dentist (DR L) called this morning, and he assures me this is just an evaluation, I can stop at any time, and that he will make sure there is some medication there. They also want me to have someone with me. I'm going to try. If Dr L didn't get what a big problem this is for me before, he does now. Having someone sobbing over the phone will do that. As for the anti anxiety medications... my primary care doc is new to me too. I don't want to get labeled "drug seeking" if I ask for medications. I am going to go try to recruit someone to drive with me now. Thank you so much for listening. I will be back. It is nice just having someone to talk to about it who gets it.
D

 

[Nat]

Well done on getting this far, it takes courage and you did it!

I know what its like to be sobbing in front of dentists and the like, I figured thats why my new dentist is so good with me, my first consultation was me just crying in front of my dentist and his nurse in their staff room! I think that it went in my favour though, i think he just thought I was a bit scared!!

Hope all is well Good luck!

 

[melodyl]

We are all very very proud of you.

Please let us know how you did okay?

Take care,
melody

 

[trustfreezone]

Good mornig,
I made it through. The drive was hard because I couldn't think of anything else. I brought someone to keep me compay and we sang as loud as we could in the car to burn off adreniline. When I arrived we got out and hiked around town as fast as I could to burn of some more addrenaline. They had me arrive an extra hour early so I could take some medication. I was to freaked to remember to ask them what it was. Little blue sublingual pills that seemed to help a little. I was hoping for drowsy enough to not care what was going on. I wasn't relaxed ot sleepy, but my stomach wasn't spasming and my heart rate was down some. They gave me a second dose, and then decided I was too scared to get any more relaxed and just went ahaed.
I the root canal is finished. With luck I'll never see him again. I still wonder if there isn't something I could use to make this whole ordeal less exhausting. Does anyone recognize what they gave me? What do the dentists you know use to help? I'm to do my appts with the regular dentist with out medication. To try to learn some positive or at least neutral associations with dental care. I really am juat exhausted from the lack of sleep, the anxiety, the bone clenching sit in the chair.........wheew

D

 

[Cavalier]

Well done. ..you're a lot braver than you thought!!

I took the cowards way out today.. ..I couldn't stand the thought of RCT, so had the tooth taken out! And I'm very pleased about it too!

You did it.....you should feel so proud of yourself...the next visit will be fine, I'm sure.

All I kept telling myself today was " In 30(or whatever) minutes time, I will be back home. ..". And I was....so, worth trying next time?
Regards
Cavalier