My biggest fear

[Aries92]

Hello all
I’m new here, and I have to say I’m extremely relieved to have found a site like this full of people who understand. It’s so hard to live with this fear in silence.
I guess I’ll start by saying I have never had positive dental experience. It all started as a kid and having bad genetics I had problems that started very young. I was so beyond petrified of the dentist I used to race home after school To get home before my mom on days that I knew I had an apt the following day so I could delete the reminder call from the answering machine so she would forget. Sometimes it worked. This runs deep.
I started needing root canals by 18 and had a couple of infected teeth that looked healthy but somehow got infected...I took the best care of my teeth so this was not a neglect situation just genetics. I’m almost too obsessively anal about the care of my mouth.
it got really bad when I was off my parents insurance and had my own shitty state insurance that covered almost nothing. I had some work done at a Dental office that took my insurance which was sketchy to begin with, but they allowed payment plans..I forked our 4K for a bridge that was placed after having to remove a molar, I had anothertooth missing behind that one so this bridge replaced two teeth. It did not fit properly nor look natural but the dentist insisted it was fine. Well it wasn’t and it came out twice during the time I had it. Which was a traumatic experience in itself. Then after that I was chewing one time and heard a crack, went to the dentist and as he was trying to get the bridge off he broke it in half. I immediately went into an outof body panic mode as the 4K bridge I just paid off was now broken. I had a nervous breakdown in the office. I could barely breathe. He checked and it was under warranty and it was then replaced, the new bridge looks better but I have a gear every day of it coming out when I’m eating something the way the other one did (I’ve had this new one for 2y ears and I live with this fear everyday) I will Never go back to him. Fast forward to now I haven’t been to a dentist since him(obviously) because I’m petrified. I have two crowns on the otherside of Mouth and I can tell one of them is getting slightly loose, and the area was being monitored for early gum disease as there’s a “Pocket” between the two crowns. So I know it istime to get back in the office and hopefully fix the situation and not need an extraction. But I am scared to death of another situation like the last or getting any bad news that feels like doom. Losing my teeth and having missing teeth at 29 is my literally biggest #1 fear. I had an apt for tomorrow but I cancelled because I couldn’t do it-I have been up since 4am in a panic attack state all day, have not eaten, called out of work, had an emergency therapy session...the list goes on. This all makes me feel so awful, insecure, and hate myself..Please help...

 

[Sara89]

Hi dear. So good that you have had the bridge for so long without anything going wrong. You may have had bad experiences but bridges should be strong. My friend has had a bridge for several years, and when she had to replace it for aesthetic reasons, they had to work hard at the dentist's office to get it off.

I understand your fear, but dont let it control you. You cant afford to "lose" more teeth, so you should go to the dentist when needed. Im here for you! You are so much more than your teeth and you have many other teeth that you need to take care of, not just the bridge and the crowns. I think about my bad teeth so much and forgot those who are fine, and thats a big mistake.

 

[Aries92]

Thank you for your kind words, and the reassurance on the bridge. I try to remember that the thing wouldn’t have cost so much if it weren’t durable. I definitely don’t plan on neglecting my teeth I know I need to get back and I always think it’s worse than it is my teeth are not even bad looking people tell me I have a nice smile it’s just that I know my experiences and therefore I am just terrified of anything going wrong....I’m doing some EMDR work with my therapist to work through the traumatic experiences, and am meeting with a psychologist to further help as well, I am not sure if you see a therapist but EMDR is supposed to really help reprocess traumatic events and you may find That it helps you! Thanks for being there.

 

[toothlessinseattle]

Hi Aries92,
Sorry to hear your going thru it..

I say good for you listening to yourself and canceling the appointment. Not to say never go back, but maybe that day you couldn't handle it and needed some time to prepare..
Hope that you're able to take care of yourself thru the emdr work. That can be really jarring to the system. I tried a few years ago and had to quit because it wasnt being integrated well in my particular therapy but i liked the concept and glad it seems to be working for you..
Hope your able to find some peace and support here before your next visit.
Thanks for reaching out, never feel alone in this.
Much love
?

 

[Aries92]

Thank you so much for your kind and compassionate words. I’m so grateful to have found this community and people that understand what I am going through. Up until now I think one of the worst parts of having this fear was feeling so alone and like I couldn’t talk about it with anyone because they wouldn’t understand, so I deeply appreciate you taking the time to reply.

 

[Sara89]

Thank you for your kind words, and the reassurance on the bridge. I try to remember that the thing wouldn’t have cost so much if it weren’t durable. I definitely don’t plan on neglecting my teeth I know I need to get back and I always think it’s worse than it is my teeth are not even bad looking people tell me I have a nice smile it’s just that I know my experiences and therefore I am just terrified of anything going wrong....I’m doing some EMDR work with my therapist to work through the traumatic experiences, and am meeting with a psychologist to further help as well, I am not sure if you see a therapist but EMDR is supposed to really help reprocess traumatic events and you may find That it helps you! ❤❤ Thanks for being there.

You're not alone. I'm from Germany and even if you people live so far away, i feel we share the same problems. I have bonded a lot of teeth, and atm I'm waiting for an implant in one front tooth so I'm toothless right now, well my kids think it's funny so in august I Will get my permanent crown so I can smile again!