• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

My journey to total mouth restoration

Thank you for the lovely message my friend. Your appointment is coming up as well, so we can be a good strong support for each other! I’m spinning a little this morning and reading about dental implants and the many many many people who have had them done, swear by them, and insist it’s only minor discomfort afterward that isn’t impossible to handle. I’m taking some deep breaths and trying not to what if myself into a frenzy...not getting too far ahead of myself either wondering if he will be able to place all the implants this time or if I will need to go through ANOTHER one of these. I guess the best thing is to prepare myself that this isn’t the last one so I can be over the top elated when the whole thing goes better than I thought.

Mostly right now I’m looking forward to that feeling of 500 pounds being lifted off my shoulders when I’m done and walk out of that office after I’m done next week.

I know! We seem to have done everything in sync with each other-even having our procedures cancelled and rescheduled etc haha! It's great to be able to support each other, it truly helps me :). I too am really trying not to go down the 'what If' road too far, it's pointless and makes me feel tormented. I understand so much what you mean when you say that you will feel as though a great weight will be lifted off you when this is all done. I feel like this treatment plan has occupied my thoughts for the last 6 months, just want to have nothing to do with the dentists for a long time after this (apart from cleanings and check ups every 6 months) and hopefully i won't have to. Well, take care of you, keep busy and think to the happy days ahead when you're all done with this and enjoying life fully with a beautiful new smile ?
 
I know! We seem to have done everything in sync with each other-even having our procedures cancelled and rescheduled etc haha! It's great to be able to support each other, it truly helps me :). I too am really trying not to go down the 'what If' road too far, it's pointless and makes me feel tormented. I understand so much what you mean when you say that you will feel as though a great weight will be lifted off you when this is all done. I feel like this treatment plan has occupied my thoughts for the last 6 months, just want to have nothing to do with the dentists for a long time after this (apart from cleanings and check ups every 6 months) and hopefully i won't have to. Well, take care of you, keep busy and think to the happy days ahead when you're all done with this and enjoying life fully with a beautiful new smile ?

You take care of you too my friend! T minus 7 days and counting...true to form I thought about ways to cancel and excuses to use this afternoon. I’m starting to get nervous but I’m trying to turn my fear to excitement like you said, because this is another positive step in the right direction for me. Only good things are going to come from this, all will be well.
 
I just got an email from my dental office, just the standard instructions. And then I started to feel relief, anxiety, different things. I even started to cry a little bit-and then your email came through. Thanks as always, for your support. I'm feeling afraid of everything to do with the appointment, it's ridiculous and I'm a bit disappointed with myself. But I've come a long way, and so have you. We have to find just a little bit more courage to finish this thing we've started. And we will. :)
 
I just got an email from my dental office, just the standard instructions. And then I started to feel relief, anxiety, different things. I even started to cry a little bit-and then your email came through. Thanks as always, for your support. I'm feeling afraid of everything to do with the appointment, it's ridiculous and I'm a bit disappointed with myself. But I've come a long way, and so have you. We have to find just a little bit more courage to finish this thing we've started. And we will. :)

I hope this new day has you feeling better. I am going to be in communication with my dentist office soon too to get the before and after instructions, since I’ll be too geeked up on sedatives the day of the implants to remember what they tell me. I’m sure there will be a moment of reality at that point, and I hope to be stronger than I was last time. I could have done my last surgery without the full day of tears and shear terror the day before. The surgery would have went the same even if I was calm and kept my imagination from running away with every what if scenario there could possibly be! I’ll take the Valium before the appointment and be calm, I know that from last time...but just typing that I feel scared, and I also feel ashamed and sad that I can’t be a normal person and just go in with a happy upbeat attitude about the whole thing.

If we take our emotions out of this, dental work is a GOOD thing! It is going to restore our health and function. Our dentists are not sadists who enjoy making people suffer, they are professionals who want to help their patients achieve a healthy and beautiful smile. They can’t just be in it for the money which is what I once thought. There’s just not enough money in the world if you don’t have the compassion or stomach to fix a broken mouth. I get squeamish just looking at the tray of instruments, so God bless each and every person who is willing to go in and do what needs to be done to fix mouths! Of course this is my rational self speaking...my irrational self is teary eyed and frightened to sit in my professionals chair and let him come into my personal space and do what he does. Thank God for Sedation or he would never get anything done.

Sigh. I’m rambling and I realize this. So I have my moments and I’m sure I will have many between now and Wednesday. It doesn’t matter if we go in shaking or in shambles. What matters is that we go in. We can’t leave ourselves behind and run away because that’s what got us stuck in the first place. We will do what needs to be done and feel like warriors on the other side of it because that’s what we are. Courage is being scared to death but moving forward anyway. And we have...and we will!!❤️
 
I think it massively helps if you have a partner/someone to help you through it+be your rock.
 
My husband is a help by talking me to all my appointments because I’m too anxious as it is to have to drive in major highway traffic for an hour each way, and he always asks if there’s anything he can do for me and is extremely supportive, but I don’t talk much about any of this to him. I don’t want to burden him for one, even though I know he doesn’t view it that way. Mostly though this entire thing has been humiliating for me on some level. He has never seen me without teeth, I do my night time and morning oral care alone so he won’t have to get an image of me in his head he can’t get out. My main fear in the beginning of this is that I would be a burden to him and it would harm our marriage. I had told him in the beginning if he wanted to divorce me instead of shelling out thousands and being with someone who has ugly horrible unfixable teeth worse than a senior citizen I would understand. He quickly shot all of that down and basically warned me to never speak such nonsense again. He’s a good man and I’m lucky, but I want to spare him from as much detail as possible. He waits in the waiting room though for my appointments sometimes for hours. I hate that he even has to so that. He’s amazing.
 
My husband is a help by talking me to all my appointments because I’m too anxious as it is to have to drive in major highway traffic for an hour each way, and he always asks if there’s anything he can do for me and is extremely supportive, but I don’t talk much about any of this to him. I don’t want to burden him for one, even though I know he doesn’t view it that way. Mostly though this entire thing has been humiliating for me on some level. He has never seen me without teeth, I do my night time and morning oral care alone so he won’t have to get an image of me in his head he can’t get out. My main fear in the beginning of this is that I would be a burden to him and it would harm our marriage. I had told him in the beginning if he wanted to divorce me instead of shelling out thousands and being with someone who has ugly horrible unfixable teeth worse than a senior citizen I would understand. He quickly shot all of that down and basically warned me to never speak such nonsense again. He’s a good man and I’m lucky, but I want to spare him from as much detail as possible. He waits in the waiting room though for my appointments sometimes for hours. I hate that he even has to so that. He’s amazing.
I understand sometimes I get a lift (if its early morning) which can take half hour or an hour depending on traffic,other times its train which takes half a day. My mum comes with me but she prob feels obliged because let's face it no one else will+i would'nt go on my own,I'm pretty much on my own doing this tho+yes feel like a burden.
 
I understand sometimes I get a lift (if its early morning) which can take half hour or an hour depending on traffic,other times its train which takes half a day. My mum comes with me but she prob feels obliged because let's face it no one else will+i would'nt go on my own,I'm pretty much on my own doing this tho+yes feel like a burden.

No matter how much or how little support we have around us, at the end of the day it’s about our own perspective on things. No one else can do this for us we have to do it on our own, but thank God there is a place like this to come to when we need to talk things through.
 
Exactaly people on here understand what your going through more than anyone.
 
I hope this new day has you feeling better. I am going to be in communication with my dentist office soon too to get the before and after instructions, since I’ll be too geeked up on sedatives the day of the implants to remember what they tell me. I’m sure there will be a moment of reality at that point, and I hope to be stronger than I was last time. I could have done my last surgery without the full day of tears and shear terror the day before. The surgery would have went the same even if I was calm and kept my imagination from running away with every what if scenario there could possibly be! I’ll take the Valium before the appointment and be calm, I know that from last time...but just typing that I feel scared, and I also feel ashamed and sad that I can’t be a normal person and just go in with a happy upbeat attitude about the whole thing.

If we take our emotions out of this, dental work is a GOOD thing! It is going to restore our health and function. Our dentists are not sadists who enjoy making people suffer, they are professionals who want to help their patients achieve a healthy and beautiful smile. They can’t just be in it for the money which is what I once thought. There’s just not enough money in the world if you don’t have the compassion or stomach to fix a broken mouth. I get squeamish just looking at the tray of instruments, so God bless each and every person who is willing to go in and do what needs to be done to fix mouths! Of course this is my rational self speaking...my irrational self is teary eyed and frightened to sit in my professionals chair and let him come into my personal space and do what he does. Thank God for Sedation or he would never get anything done.

Sigh. I’m rambling and I realize this. So I have my moments and I’m sure I will have many between now and Wednesday. It doesn’t matter if we go in shaking or in shambles. What matters is that we go in. We can’t leave ourselves behind and run away because that’s what got us stuck in the first place. We will do what needs to be done and feel like warriors on the other side of it because that’s what we are. Courage is being scared to death but moving forward anyway. And we have...and we will!!❤️

I had a better day today, thanks. My son got sick with toncillitis on Sunday, and I really was worried about catching it and having to cancel this darn appointment-I just want it over with! You are completely right-it won't make any difference if we spend out time before next weeks appointments in terror or if we just forget about our procedures until the hour before, we will still be there and go through with it. I know exactly the fear and sadness you are feeling but listen; you are normal! The fact that you are going through all this when you have anxiety over it shows above average courage! I love the way you rationalize to yourself and to us, about the dentist being a good and positive person to have in our lives, he is! And we are blessed to have these kind, patient people to help us in our journey's, thank God we don't live years ago when the dentists tended to be less empathetic in general, and when options like IV weren't available.
Again, when you say our procrastination has helped us get where we are today, you are correct. Bad experiences don't help either but there's no way back for us now, just forward. My emotions and thoughts will go back and forth too, but yes, we will be comparing notes this time next week and feeling like a great weight has been lifted :)
Hope you are having a calm, peaceful night doing something fun :)
 
I think it massively helps if you have a partner/someone to help you through it+be your rock.

You are so right, I can't imagine me even attempting to go through all this without my sweet husband, he is just wonderfully solid and empathetic towards me, no matter how irrational and afraid I get.
 
My husband is a help by talking me to all my appointments because I’m too anxious as it is to have to drive in major highway traffic for an hour each way, and he always asks if there’s anything he can do for me and is extremely supportive, but I don’t talk much about any of this to him. I don’t want to burden him for one, even though I know he doesn’t view it that way. Mostly though this entire thing has been humiliating for me on some level. He has never seen me without teeth, I do my night time and morning oral care alone so he won’t have to get an image of me in his head he can’t get out. My main fear in the beginning of this is that I would be a burden to him and it would harm our marriage. I had told him in the beginning if he wanted to divorce me instead of shelling out thousands and being with someone who has ugly horrible unfixable teeth worse than a senior citizen I would understand. He quickly shot all of that down and basically warned me to never speak such nonsense again. He’s a good man and I’m lucky, but I want to spare him from as much detail as possible. He waits in the waiting room though for my appointments sometimes for hours. I hate that he even has to so that. He’s amazing.

Awww, what a wonderful man....you are so blessed BUT it's just what you deserve as you are a very kind, warm, strong lady that he is lucky to be married to. I love that he was so strong in his reaction when you offered him a divorce, that's very touching. I can't even imagine doing this without my hubby, he is so kind. When I had my crowns extracted, he had made me soup and ice-cream and had got our bedroom all prepared with boxes of tissues and painkillers, flowers and sweets for me :)
The dental assistant who works with my dentist most often has teared up at how kind my husband is to me and she says she remembers when I told her once that I am lucky to have him, and he said to her that no, he is the lucky one. So, I'm grateful for him, he makes it possible for me to find the strength and the point. :)
 
You are so right, I can't imagine me even attempting to go through all this without my sweet husband, he is just wonderfully solid and empathetic towards me, no matter how irrational and afraid I get.

He sounds amazing your very lucky.
 
I had a better day today, thanks. My son got sick with toncillitis on Sunday, and I really was worried about catching it and having to cancel this darn appointment-I just want it over with! You are completely right-it won't make any difference if we spend out time before next weeks appointments in terror or if we just forget about our procedures until the hour before, we will still be there and go through with it. I know exactly the fear and sadness you are feeling but listen; you are normal! The fact that you are going through all this when you have anxiety over it shows above average courage! I love the way you rationalize to yourself and to us, about the dentist being a good and positive person to have in our lives, he is! And we are blessed to have these kind, patient people to help us in our journey's, thank God we don't live years ago when the dentists tended to be less empathetic in general, and when options like IV weren't available.
Again, when you say our procrastination has helped us get where we are today, you are correct. Bad experiences don't help either but there's no way back for us now, just forward. My emotions and thoughts will go back and forth too, but yes, we will be comparing notes this time next week and feeling like a great weight has been lifted :)
Hope you are having a calm, peaceful night doing something fun :)

I’m sorry your son isn’t feeling well, I hope he’s doing better today. Sore throats are no fun. I’m holding steady, keeping the focus on things that aren’t dental. I won’t spend a lot of time here between now and Wednesday because I don’t want to work myself up too much. I’ll definitely keep in touch though so we can be there for each other. Last time the day before my surgery I was in a heap on the couch crying and shaking and my husband held me all day but I felt terrible putting us through that. He’s the most optimistic person I ever met and he just wants me to feel better and be fixed. Any time I start in he reminds me how much better I’m doing and how I’m half way there and it’s all going to be worth it, and rationally I get it that he’s right but this damn fear...it doesn’t want to let go completely. I’m working on it. Luckily I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday so that will give me something positive to do and one last shot at talking myself off the ceiling if necessary.

I have to do this. I can’t eat right with just an upper denture that keeps loosening up on me. I can’t stand having to excuse myself to go to the bathrooon and apply more adhesive halfway through my meals. I don’t want to do my oral care routine by myself anymore, I want to be able to stand at our double sink with my husband to brush my teeth like I did before this mess started. I’m saying all of this right now to remind myself how ready I am to push forward because this is no permanent place to stay. I’m coming to the end of myself where the misery of staying where I am is worse than any discomfort I will feel as I heal.

You are so incredibly right about how lucky we are that it’s 2018 and the advances in dentistry are amazing compared to even ten years ago. Without it we would have to be tense and endure much more discomfort than necessary in the chair. I am well aware that I’m likely always going to have some level of anxiety regarding the dentist, but when this hard part is over with and all I need is two cleanings per year I know I will be able to handle that no problem. My fears will be more about an implant failing rather than what’s going to happen to me in the chair. My dentist saw me through 14 teeth being pulled, my jaw bones being shaved and reshaped, my jaws being packed to the brim with grafting material, ear to ear stitches both upper and lower, and I even got several injections and restitched one week after my surgery without Sedation. All of it was horrible and you know what? I got through it! Amazingly the big huge majority of my tears came BEFORE I had all of it done not while I was recovering which tells me that it is my head that is harming me more than the actual procedures are. I didn’t feel anything during the actual surgery which was 6 hours so this one being about 4 I should do even better. Thank God for Sedation. You’ll see, it’s much easier than you imagine. You may not even remember any of the appointment at all. 6 months later I can barely recall the few times I was awake or my first few days recovery thanks to meds. Dentists take pretty good care to make sure we are comfortable during and after.

You’re strong and brave and will do amazingly well! Let’s do our best to enjoy the weekend and do some relaxing and fun stuff. I’m going to eat some things I know I won’t be able to have for a while and get out of the house before I hunker down for a couple weeks. PM me any time you want in the meantime. Thank you for all of your support, you’re a real friend and sweetheart.
 
I’m sorry your son isn’t feeling well, I hope he’s doing better today. Sore throats are no fun. I’m holding steady, keeping the focus on things that aren’t dental. I won’t spend a lot of time here between now and Wednesday because I don’t want to work myself up too much. I’ll definitely keep in touch though so we can be there for each other. Last time the day before my surgery I was in a heap on the couch crying and shaking and my husband held me all day but I felt terrible putting us through that. He’s the most optimistic person I ever met and he just wants me to feel better and be fixed. Any time I start in he reminds me how much better I’m doing and how I’m half way there and it’s all going to be worth it, and rationally I get it that he’s right but this damn fear...it doesn’t want to let go completely. I’m working on it. Luckily I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday so that will give me something positive to do and one last shot at talking myself off the ceiling if necessary.

I have to do this. I can’t eat right with just an upper denture that keeps loosening up on me. I can’t stand having to excuse myself to go to the bathrooon and apply more adhesive halfway through my meals. I don’t want to do my oral care routine by myself anymore, I want to be able to stand at our double sink with my husband to brush my teeth like I did before this mess started. I’m saying all of this right now to remind myself how ready I am to push forward because this is no permanent place to stay. I’m coming to the end of myself where the misery of staying where I am is worse than any discomfort I will feel as I heal.

You are so incredibly right about how lucky we are that it’s 2018 and the advances in dentistry are amazing compared to even ten years ago. Without it we would have to be tense and endure much more discomfort than necessary in the chair. I am well aware that I’m likely always going to have some level of anxiety regarding the dentist, but when this hard part is over with and all I need is two cleanings per year I know I will be able to handle that no problem. My fears will be more about an implant failing rather than what’s going to happen to me in the chair. My dentist saw me through 14 teeth being pulled, my jaw bones being shaved and reshaped, my jaws being packed to the brim with grafting material, ear to ear stitches both upper and lower, and I even got several injections and restitched one week after my surgery without Sedation. All of it was horrible and you know what? I got through it! Amazingly the big huge majority of my tears came BEFORE I had all of it done not while I was recovering which tells me that it is my head that is harming me more than the actual procedures are. I didn’t feel anything during the actual surgery which was 6 hours so this one being about 4 I should do even better. Thank God for Sedation. You’ll see, it’s much easier than you imagine. You may not even remember any of the appointment at all. 6 months later I can barely recall the few times I was awake or my first few days recovery thanks to meds. Dentists take pretty good care to make sure we are comfortable during and after.

You’re strong and brave and will do amazingly well! Let’s do our best to enjoy the weekend and do some relaxing and fun stuff. I’m going to eat some things I know I won’t be able to have for a while and get out of the house before I hunker down for a couple weeks. PM me any time you want in the meantime. Thank you for all of your support, you’re a real friend and sweetheart.

Thanks so much for your reply, it's so full of wisdom. My son is doing fine thanks, more or less back on form. I feel so worried in case I get it though, I've had a few sneezes and slightly scratchy throat, they said they can't do the IV if I've got a bad cough or cold-believe me, I'm not wishing myself into skipping this appointment. I couldn't agree more when you say the thought of staying as you are right at this moment is worse than getting it over with. Your husband is so great, as Tazey said in an earlier post, it's such a great thing to have rock solid support from our loved ones. I'm glad you're staying busy and staying off here is probably the best thing for me too, but I will most certainly be here for you as well, we are in this together:). It's great you have a therapy appointment close to your appointment too, I'm going to my support group the night before, it helps me so much.
I appreciate that you brought up the excellent point that most of your tears and anxiety were before the appointment, simple but good to really focus and acknowledge that fact! You have had an enormous amount of work done and have come through it all so well-and even had your stitches done with just LA and survived! Who wouldn't feel at least a little anxious after all that? It comforted me and surprised me a little too when my dentist recommended IV for my 4hour appointment in the chair last year. He said NO way would he think of going through it with just LA. I did it without IV but I wish I hadn't now. My heart was just racing with every shot when it started to wear off and I couldn't wait to get out of the chair. It's just the fear that everyone talks about before IV, I actually kept thinking I would die from it which was a horrible feeling to have. I dont feel like that now, but it's only normal to be at least a little anxious I'm sure. Anyway I've had GA and epidural and a scope without any issues. Hopefully this will be a 'non-event event' and I will be really happy with the sedation. It could change my life and take most of the fear I feel about going to the dentist away. My dentist said, "why would you go through the anxiety and discomfort if you don't need to?" And he's right of course.
I'm going to do my best to have a good weekend too, I do find it more challenging when i'm off work for that couple of days; also my husband needs to be able to relax after a week of work and not worry about me for a while. As well as that, I want my kids to see me being strong and not disturbed by having this appointment, I definately don't want to project my fears onto them. Oh No- I just sneezed twice in a row-please don't let it be something brewing ? I just want this over with ...thinking happy thoughts and sending you a hug and prayers my friend, take care of you, talk soon ..
 
Thanks so much for your reply, it's so full of wisdom. My son is doing fine thanks, more or less back on form. I feel so worried in case I get it though, I've had a few sneezes and slightly scratchy throat, they said they can't do the IV if I've got a bad cough or cold-believe me, I'm not wishing myself into skipping this appointment. I couldn't agree more when you say the thought of staying as you are right at this moment is worse than getting it over with. Your husband is so great, as Tazey said in an earlier post, it's such a great thing to have rock solid support from our loved ones. I'm glad you're staying busy and staying off here is probably the best thing for me too, but I will most certainly be here for you as well, we are in this together:). It's great you have a therapy appointment close to your appointment too, I'm going to my support group the night before, it helps me so much.
I appreciate that you brought up the excellent point that most of your tears and anxiety were before the appointment, simple but good to really focus and acknowledge that fact! You have had an enormous amount of work done and have come through it all so well-and even had your stitches done with just LA and survived! Who wouldn't feel at least a little anxious after all that? It comforted me and surprised me a little too when my dentist recommended IV for my 4hour appointment in the chair last year. He said NO way would he think of going through it with just LA. I did it without IV but I wish I hadn't now. My heart was just racing with every shot when it started to wear off and I couldn't wait to get out of the chair. It's just the fear that everyone talks about before IV, I actually kept thinking I would die from it which was a horrible feeling to have. I dont feel like that now, but it's only normal to be at least a little anxious I'm sure. Anyway I've had GA and epidural and a scope without any issues. Hopefully this will be a 'non-event event' and I will be really happy with the sedation. It could change my life and take most of the fear I feel about going to the dentist away. My dentist said, "why would you go through the anxiety and discomfort if you don't need to?" And he's right of course.
I'm going to do my best to have a good weekend too, I do find it more challenging when i'm off work for that couple of days; also my husband needs to be able to relax after a week of work and not worry about me for a while. As well as that, I want my kids to see me being strong and not disturbed by having this appointment, I definately don't want to project my fears onto them. Oh No- I just sneezed twice in a row-please don't let it be something brewing ? I just want this over with ...thinking happy thoughts and sending you a hug and prayers my friend, take care of you, talk soon ..

Wow my God, you had a four hour conscious appointment? No wonder you’re nervous! I could never sit in the chair for that long being aware. Heck, it’s all I can do not hit the ceiling I jump up from that chair so fast when my appointment is over and I practically feel like I’m on speed I’m so elated. LOL Even during my few lucid moments in the chair while sedated about the only thing I remember is asking “what time is it?” So apparently that part of me that wants to get the hell out of Dodge ASAP is fully aware even though I’m fully out of it otherwise. I must have been asking for my husband a lot too because when I woke up the assistant said we already called your husband he’s on his way. When they walked me out to see him I had never been so happy to see another human being in all my life and the sheer and utter RELIEF that it was over was incredible.

The IV won’t be horrible, they really don’t waste any time getting it in and getting you going. They’ll put a pulse oxygen reader on your pointer finger and a blood pressure cuff either around your bicep or your wrist whichever your office uses, and they’ll also put some EKG stickies on your chest and stomach so you can be monitored closely while
Sedated. At first this idea scared me half to death but it’s really just a precaution and I would rather they be safe with me. I’m just the kind of nut where I automatically wonder if I’m dying when I see some equipment like that. It’s a wonder I gave birth twice and had a gigantic epidural needle in my spine (although I had a panic attack before he did it and the nurse had to calm me down because I couldn’t get over the SIZE of that needle). But again it was one of those instances where the thought was much much worse than the procedure. I mean let’s be realistic they DO numb you before any procedure so what’s a little pinch compared to what we’d feel if they didn’t give us the local? In my Head unfortunately it can be magnified times one million. Anyway the next thing that happens is the doctor will put the IV in, probably the top of your hand since it’s the easiest to access and he will start the saline drip. Mine was nice in that he didn’t come into the room all dressed in his surgical gown and mask but instead gave me the IV In his regular suit and tie. He then announced the time and administered the medication into my IV and walked to the other side of the room, I presume to put on his attire. I felt an awesome tingly rush and high as a kite in the most pleasant way possible, announced Woo, that’s good stuff and it was goodnight Irene! :) Next thing you know you’re done. That’s it. So why oh why am I nervous?

I hope you’re not getting sick and can have your procedure as scheduled. My allergies are acting up now that spring is in the air. I have cancelled my appointment 100 times in my head between yesterday and today but they don’t take kindly to that so if nothing else stops me from cancelling, the idea of pissing off the dentist who has blocked off 5 hours for my appointment Wednesday and being charged some amount for wasting his time will! Also I know I won’t be feeling any better about things one week or one month from now it is only going to postpone the inevitable. I’ll hate myself and the torture will be worse. Why not get it over now so by Easter I’m feeling better and even better still by my anniversary in A month. Plus I know there are going to be follow up appointments probably every week for a month and how far into the spring time do I want to drag this? There are drugs to manage the discomfort and that’s what it is, discomfort. It’s not “pain” per say and can be managed. Oh here’s a good tip, your hubs can get your prescriptions filled while you’re in chair so that way he won’t have to stop on the way home for anything and won’t have to do anything but take good care of you once you’re home. My hubs did that last time and it made a big difference cause I popped a pain pill before I got home so I could get ahead of any discomfort. Like yours, mine was so good about making sure I was eating and taken care of and he took care of the kids because he’s a wonderful stepdad as well. I’m so glad your husband is good to you it will help you heal so much better. I never would have had this done if it weren’t for mine. I would just be toothless and depressed for the rest of my life. When I don’t have courage anymore I remember I want to look pretty for him and it gives me that shove.

I totally get it that you want to be brave for your kids. I always put the brave face on too. Even In front of my husband cause I want him to have a normal life even though I don’t. I’d i didn’t find this place and good friends like you I would have cracked. Fortunately my teens are not afraid of the dentist at all. My son has perfect teeth and was calm as a cucumber when he had his wisdom teeth out. I don’t get that level of calm. Not at all. My daughter is less than thrilled and has had her share of dental issues. She recently had to get a crown fitted over a broken tooth. Took it like a champ even though I tensed up when the dentist gave her the injections. They’re not wimps like their mom at all and I’m proud of that. My goal has been to make sure they’re everything I’m not.

So I look forward to taking my valium Wednesday morning so I can be relaxed on the drive in to the dentist and get into the chair and be completely unmoved when the doc says good morning and tells me he’s going to put the IV in. That’s how fast it happens, just like that. Sometimes I hate it that he won’t hold my hand or be more soothing and he’s so direct and matter of fact and about his business, but when I need to he put out of my misery with the wonder drugs I’m grateful. Forgive me for all my ramblings. Seems you have a gem of a dentist who cares about you comfort and well being and understands anxiety. I think that’s wonderful. You’re in good hands, you are FAR more brave and practical than I am and you are going to do fabulously just wait and see. Thank you for the prayers, you are in mine as well my friend. ❤️
 
Wow my God, you had a four hour conscious appointment? No wonder you’re nervous! I could never sit in the chair for that long being aware. Heck, it’s all I can do not hit the ceiling I jump up from that chair so fast when my appointment is over and I practically feel like I’m on speed I’m so elated. LOL Even during my few lucid moments in the chair while sedated about the only thing I remember is asking “what time is it?” So apparently that part of me that wants to get the hell out of Dodge ASAP is fully aware even though I’m fully out of it otherwise. I must have been asking for my husband a lot too because when I woke up the assistant said we already called your husband he’s on his way. When they walked me out to see him I had never been so happy to see another human being in all my life and the sheer and utter RELIEF that it was over was incredible.

The IV won’t be horrible, they really don’t waste any time getting it in and getting you going. They’ll put a pulse oxygen reader on your pointer finger and a blood pressure cuff either around your bicep or your wrist whichever your office uses, and they’ll also put some EKG stickies on your chest and stomach so you can be monitored closely while
Sedated. At first this idea scared me half to death but it’s really just a precaution and I would rather they be safe with me. I’m just the kind of nut where I automatically wonder if I’m dying when I see some equipment like that. It’s a wonder I gave birth twice and had a gigantic epidural needle in my spine (although I had a panic attack before he did it and the nurse had to calm me down because I couldn’t get over the SIZE of that needle). But again it was one of those instances where the thought was much much worse than the procedure. I mean let’s be realistic they DO numb you before any procedure so what’s a little pinch compared to what we’d feel if they didn’t give us the local? In my Head unfortunately it can be magnified times one million. Anyway the next thing that happens is the doctor will put the IV in, probably the top of your hand since it’s the easiest to access and he will start the saline drip. Mine was nice in that he didn’t come into the room all dressed in his surgical gown and mask but instead gave me the IV In his regular suit and tie. He then announced the time and administered the medication into my IV and walked to the other side of the room, I presume to put on his attire. I felt an awesome tingly rush and high as a kite in the most pleasant way possible, announced Woo, that’s good stuff and it was goodnight Irene! :) Next thing you know you’re done. That’s it. So why oh why am I nervous?

I hope you’re not getting sick and can have your procedure as scheduled. My allergies are acting up now that spring is in the air. I have cancelled my appointment 100 times in my head between yesterday and today but they don’t take kindly to that so if nothing else stops me from cancelling, the idea of pissing off the dentist who has blocked off 5 hours for my appointment Wednesday and being charged some amount for wasting his time will! Also I know I won’t be feeling any better about things one week or one month from now it is only going to postpone the inevitable. I’ll hate myself and the torture will be worse. Why not get it over now so by Easter I’m feeling better and even better still by my anniversary in A month. Plus I know there are going to be follow up appointments probably every week for a month and how far into the spring time do I want to drag this? There are drugs to manage the discomfort and that’s what it is, discomfort. It’s not “pain” per say and can be managed. Oh here’s a good tip, your hubs can get your prescriptions filled while you’re in chair so that way he won’t have to stop on the way home for anything and won’t have to do anything but take good care of you once you’re home. My hubs did that last time and it made a big difference cause I popped a pain pill before I got home so I could get ahead of any discomfort. Like yours, mine was so good about making sure I was eating and taken care of and he took care of the kids because he’s a wonderful stepdad as well. I’m so glad your husband is good to you it will help you heal so much better. I never would have had this done if it weren’t for mine. I would just be toothless and depressed for the rest of my life. When I don’t have courage anymore I remember I want to look pretty for him and it gives me that shove.

I totally get it that you want to be brave for your kids. I always put the brave face on too. Even In front of my husband cause I want him to have a normal life even though I don’t. I’d i didn’t find this place and good friends like you I would have cracked. Fortunately my teens are not afraid of the dentist at all. My son has perfect teeth and was calm as a cucumber when he had his wisdom teeth out. I don’t get that level of calm. Not at all. My daughter is less than thrilled and has had her share of dental issues. She recently had to get a crown fitted over a broken tooth. Took it like a champ even though I tensed up when the dentist gave her the injections. They’re not wimps like their mom at all and I’m proud of that. My goal has been to make sure they’re everything I’m not.

So I look forward to taking my valium Wednesday morning so I can be relaxed on the drive in to the dentist and get into the chair and be completely unmoved when the doc says good morning and tells me he’s going to put the IV in. That’s how fast it happens, just like that. Sometimes I hate it that he won’t hold my hand or be more soothing and he’s so direct and matter of fact and about his business, but when I need to he put out of my misery with the wonder drugs I’m grateful. Forgive me for all my ramblings. Seems you have a gem of a dentist who cares about you comfort and well being and understands anxiety. I think that’s wonderful. You’re in good hands, you are FAR more brave and practical than I am and you are going to do fabulously just wait and see. Thank you for the prayers, you are in mine as well my friend. ❤️

I did haha!-4 hours, I don't know why I felt I needed to be so brave but I guess I felt I should be able to cope. It was not easy for sure, and like I said I couldn't wait to get out of that chair and I cried with relief when I saw my husband at the end of it. He felt so bad for me bless his heart. He actually said today that he is going to stay with me all the way through the procedure, which is really sweet, but I'm not sure I want him to see me like that and what If I say something really silly and make a fool of myself? It might make me worse too, in terms of anxiety. I usually feel more vulnerable if he is there, you know, the way you did when you were a child and you fell and hurt yourself? If it was at school, I just brushed it off usually and carried on playing etc but if I saw my mum when I hurt myself then I would be crying and sobbing. I just don't know...
And by the way, you are NOT rambling, you are so good at writing down your feelings and explaining procedures such as IV, I find it incredibly helpful, honestly. Thank you so much for writing I all down for me and others who will be so glad you did. I would be so much worse right now if it wasn't for your support today, believe me.
I am so glad your children are able to cope with the dentist, it's so much better if they can take these things in their stride isn't it? Mine are varied in their feelings about it. My eldest is great, just goes and gets it done, but my second hates being numbed up so gets fillings done without LA which is horrific to me! Then my middle one is fine, he has had to have lots of work done since he had cancer when he was 16. My 17 year old is really anxious and I think he will be reluctant to get his wisdom teeth out as the dentist recommended this summer. As long as they are not bothering him then I don't mind if he wants to leave it for now. He hates needles, always has. He faints when he has blood taken, poor boy. We have another son who's 14 and doesn't mind a bit going, he hasn't had much work done though recently, just cleanings. We also have 2 daughters who have no worries about having work done. Yes, we have a big family, we are also blended and so, my husband is a step-dad just like your husband:) He's is pretty awesome at it too, I appreciate him so much:)
I am hoping by late Spring, we are both healed and completely in awe of our beautiful smiles! I think it great that you are looking ahead to your wedding anniversary, we too have to celebrate our anniversary as on the actual date last September, I had my crowned teeth extracted, and I said I wanted to wait until my smile was all done before we actually celebrated. So lets look forward and day dream about that day when it is just a matter of going twice a year for our cleanings and check-ups, I can't wait!
Let's have a great weekend, have good food, enjoy our husband and children and think calming, positive thoughts. Still here if you need to talk:)
 
Well, I can tell that my appointment is 4 days away, not because of what the calendar says but because the full range of emotions I experienced the last time are settling in. I go from having waves of anxiety where I feel woozy like I may pass out to okay again depending on my thoughts. It’s so important for me to guard my thinking the next few days. I didn’t do so well with that this morning and early this afternoon and ended up a hysterical crying heap on my bed. Yup I had a full “why me” pity party and a toddler like tantrum and sob fest because I don’t want to go to the scary dentist and have scary implants put in. I’ll just stay this way forever...or get a bottom denture and live with plastic teeth I have to glue in for the next forty years or so (God willing), how bad can it be? Then I go to eat lunch and I have to stop halfway through my already soft chicken salad sandwich because the adhesive I put on only two hours earlier has worn off and I can’t chew. Oh! THIS is why I have to go to the scary dentist...so I can actually EAT AGAIN land live happier. Ok I guess it will be worth it.
 
Last edited:
Well, I can tell that my appointment is 4 days away, not because of what the calendar says but because the full range of emotions I experienced the last time are settling in. I go from having waves of anxiety where I feel woozy like I may pass out to okay again depending on my thoughts. It’s so important for me to guard my thinking the next few days. I didn’t do so well with that this morning and early this afternoon and ended up a hysterical crying heap on my bed. Yup I had a full “why me” pity party and a toddler like tantrum and sob fest because I don’t want to go to the scary dentist and have scary implants put in. I’ll just stay this way forever...or get a bottom denture and live with plastic teeth I have to glue in for the next forty years or so (God willing), how bad can it be? Then I go to eat lunch and I have to stop halfway through my already soft chicken salad sandwich because the adhesive I put on only two hours earlier has worn off and I can’t chew. Oh! THIS is why I have to go to the scary dentist...so I can actually EAT AGAIN land live happier. Ok I guess it will be worth it.

I'm so sorry you have had such a rough
afternoon-that's soooo tough to go through. It is COMPLETELY normal to feel that way though, you're having and have had, some seriously complex dental work and I can't imagine ANYONE going through it without at least a moderate amount apprehension. Listen! You are superwoman right now! You're having these horrible feelings and emotions yet you're still putting one foot in front of the other. That's true strength of character.
I know you will be there in the big day, I know too that you will get in that chair and I know you will have that IV put in. And then you will be all relaxed and chilled out and then it's over and out until you get in your vehicle again and your lovely hubby will be there with you every step of the way. And then, as you rightly pointed out, you are healing from then on, every day a bit more and you will have your pain meds too so It's going to be very comfortable. Also, It's going to be easier than last time as firstly, it's a shorter treatment time and also, you are so much more prepared for it this time.
I have exactly the same feelings of anxiety and feeling faint etc, as you describe, I'm so glad someone else has them, that it's not just me. Although I hate to think of anyone having them. But you keep on meditating on the thoughts that you speak about at the end, where you rationalize the reasons you're putting yourself through this-thats fantastic!
I just replied to your pm by the way, for some reason I thought you had sent it last night, probably as I forgot the time is GMT not N American time, so hopefully, it's not too confusing at the beginning :(. I am a bit scattered at the minute haha!
Try and focus on just staying relaxed this evening, enjoy your time with your family and remind yourself that you are a courageous and powerful woman and that your quality of life is about to change so very much when you get this work done.
Here if you need me my friend :)
 
Back
Top