• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is very afraid of dentistry or who suffers with dental phobia. Please note that this is NOT a general dental forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

My latest appointment story. Trouble getting over being lied to be old dentist.

O

overbitestinks93

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2017
Messages
25
My latest appointment story. Trouble getting over being lied to be old dentist.

I'm new to this forum, but I'm 24 and afraid of getting bad news in any medical office. (like going to a regular doctor, dentist, or even going to my neurosurgeons office growing up for a condition I've had since I was little.) I'm also afraid of needles when ever I get a filling or that I will lose my teeth.

I moved away in May after I finished college and ended up missing my dentist appointment in July. I went during Thanksgiving in November when I was back with family. Then I found out I needed an old filling in a molar replaced due to decay in December when I would be back next. Before then I had a chip between one of my middle bottom front incisors. I told the dentist about it when I came in for that filling, but all he did was attempt to smooth it out with a drill. Well....last month it chipped more and I got scared and asked for help finding a new dentist where I am at now that would pay attention to me. I was also more worried, because my dentist had ignored a chip on the corner of my right outer lower incisor that I got 7 years ago. That one has since gotten a lot worse and I have almost an 8th of my tooth missing. I didn't want the new chip to turn out like that.

I went to my new dentist and he told me that not only did I have those chips, but I also had cavities in between all 4 of my lower incisors that needed to be filled. He also saw that apparently the dentist missed a cavity in the side of my molar right next to the one I just had filled in December. I got scared, because I knew composite doesn't last forever and I didn't want to end up getting a root canal. I was also frustrated, because not only did my old dentist ignore my one chip for 7 years, but he made the other one worse, and missed the cavities on the xray. I had complained about sensitivity for years and I now know why I had it. I was very happy with how compassionate the dentist was though, as well as the receptionist and the hygienist that did my xrays. (I'm not a fan of xrays either, especially since I had to get a CT Scan and chest xrays earlier last year, because I have a shunt for hydrocephalus. Then I already had dental xrays in November. Yet they had to give me a panorex and bitewings at that appointment also).

On Monday I had the molar filled as will as the lower left incisors filled and the cavity between the 2 middle incisors. My uncle told me to suggest laughing gas so I did. It didn't help me relax very much, just made me light headed every once in a while. The assistant walked me to the room and put the gas on. The office knew of my fears from my first appointment so another assistant and both hygienists even came into the room to tell me everything was going to be fine. The assistant even gave me a stress ball to hold. When the assistant started giving the injections I started to get scared again, despite being light headed from the gas. She just told me "you're doing awesome" and to "keep breathing". (not sure if she was just trying to make me feel less bad about being scared, but she said a lot of people don't breathe during the shots) I remember wondering during the whole thing if I would still have my front teeth when I was done with it. (that and the noise of the drills always makes me nervous). When the dentist finished, the assistant showed me my teeth in the mirror and said "you were so brave". I was really happy to see they were perfect. Just really nervous about breaking the composite fillings since apparently they had to go really deep on them....

This Monday I have to get the rest of my fillings. (A cavity in between my 2 right incisors and the big chip in my far right incisor) I'm scared about the big chipped incisor, because he said it was close to needing a root canal. It gets sensitive every once in a while so I'm nervous about that. I'm just hoping it will be an easy fix, although supposedly they are giving me laughing gas again. (don't think it will help that much though.)

Sorry for the long story, but I just wanted some advice about the situation. Does anyone else have trouble trusting another dentist after being lied to? Everyone who works in my new dentists office is really nice, but I'm just nervous because my other one ignored me for 7 years. My dental anxiety wasn't too bad before, but now it's worse due to hearing I was lied to. Also, does anyone else prefer to be talked to calmly by dentists and assistants? I feel like I'm "dumb" or a "baby" for having to have someone slow down and talk me through the process, but it really helps.

Thanks again for any feedback.
 
T

Tink

Well-known member
Joined
May 14, 2013
Messages
751
Location
UK
Re: My latest appointment story. Trouble getting over being lied to be old dentist.

Hello -

Just wanted to let you know that you're definitely not alone!

Does anyone else have trouble trusting another dentist after being lied to?

Yes! Totally! My story is quite different to yours - and way too long to go into here - but yes, my old dentist consistently lied about a lot of stuff and it's caused me huge difficulties in learning to trust my current dentist.

Honesty is a really big deal for me. That's one of the things I value most about the dentist I have now, is that he's shown that he will tell me the truth about things, even if sometimes it's difficult. It's what I need, somebody who I know will be straightforward with me. Even the tiniest of "little white lies" would have me running for the hills now.


My dental anxiety wasn't too bad before, but now it's worse due to hearing I was lied to.

Yep, again, same here. Finding out about all those lies was devastating for me and a big part of what caused my phobia to spiral.


So here's the good news: it's possible to get over this, by gradually building up trust with an honest dentist. They do exist, I promise! This new office sounds great.

It takes time, but the secret is to replace those old bad experiences with a series of good experiences, where your dentist consistently tells you the truth and shows that they can be trusted.



Also, does anyone else prefer to be talked to calmly by dentists and assistants? I feel like I'm "dumb" or a "baby" for having to have someone slow down and talk me through the process, but it really helps.

Yes, absolutely! Mine talks me through what he's doing and I find it really helps. He gives off that calm, confident vibe.

That doesn't make you a baby at all. Being involved in the process like that is anything but "dumb", and many of us find it really helps us to feel in control of what's going on. In my experience I've found that my dentist even likes it too, many of them like the patient to be engaging and working with them like that, rather than shutting them out. So there's absolutely no need to be down on yourself about that - if that's what works for you, then go for it!


Hope all goes well for you on Monday! It sounds like you are in a good place this time around and they will take good care of you.

Hope something in there is helpful x

Tink
 
O

overbitestinks93

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2017
Messages
25
Re: My latest appointment story. Trouble getting over being lied to be old dentist.

Tink,

Thanks again for showing me that I'm not the only one with dental anxiety that has gotten scared after getting a second opinion and finding out they've been lied to. Also, I'm glad to find out I'm not the only one who likes to be explained everything that is going on and to be talked to slowly. I also liked that the assistants talked to me before hand. (It's the same thing that helped me through my neurosurgeon checkups growing up for the unrelated condition I have. The nurses that met me before my doctor would always talk to me about normal stuff to get me to calm down, because otherwise I wouldn't tell them if my head was bothering me. The radiologists would even talk to me before my brain scans.) Basically I like to get my medical or dental care at a place that treats me like a human and not just another patient.

Really hoping I don't need a root canal on the tooth that was ignored for 7 years and that it goes as smoothly as the other fillings did. (My anxiety is more about these teeth because unlike molar fillings, these teeth are at the front, more visible, and the first used to bite into stuff).
 
Top