My life is over…

[Loupyloulou]

Today I felt the first glimmer of hope in the longest time. I got through extractions I had been putting off (I had it under sedation but it didn’t work because my anxiety was so severe). Still, I did it.

I called my dentist today and she tells me I may need more teeth removed. I’m a professional singer. Im mid-40s and still very much at the beginning of my career. My selling point is of course, my look and my voice. My dentist says it will affect my singing.

I have had such an incredibly traumatic life (I have CPTSD, ADHD and Autism). I have had so many countless, negative dental experiences and spent a huge part of my earlier life in the orthodontist. I have kept up with my oral hygiene- my whole family are cursed with bad teeth.

Everywhere I look singers need their original teeth. Even if I could afford it, I can’t have implants. Singing is the only thing that keeps me alive. Life is cruel. I can’t even have that now. I honestly wish I hadn’t bothered. I wished something bad had happened when I was getting the sedation and surgical extractions and that I never woke up.

I have tried and tried my entire life and just when I thought I was going to turn a corner, something else happens. I just can’t anymore.

 

[Enarete]

Hi Loupyloulou,

so sorry to read what you have been through. I see how dental anxiety is bad on its own but then even knowing that this could affect your profession, it is just too much.

You mentioned that you called your dentist, to I assume you were told - on the phone - that you need exptractions? Would it be an idea to have a chat in person to understand which teeth and why? Also, maybe getting a second opinion to see whether there are any other options? Getting all this information may be good before you get into despair.

Also, right now, the teeth are in your mouth, so right now as you are reading this, you can still sing. In times of deep despair, it maybe good to take life one step at a time and make sure not to go too far in the future. I know it is hard though.

Please hang in there and keep us posted.

All the best wishes.

 

[Loupyloulou]

Hi, thank you for the reply. And thank you for understanding. Most people don’t get it but most people don’t need front extractions at 44 that will stop them being able to do their job. There is a lot of infection and bone loss. She is going to try root canal (my second from middle tooth is the affected one) but she ‘warned me’ that it could be unsuccessful. It doesn’t fill me with hope as root canal’s are usually 90 percent successful.

Another is that I can’t speak up for myself in the appointment because I become non-verbal (autism, anxiety). If someone goes with me I feel so guilty for being so anxious that I will have an autistic meltdown. I’ve tried to find support in the UK as I should be a candidate for ‘special care’ but after years of research I find nothing.

Depression is sinking in again after getting back on track. I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

[Maudelsie]

Hi, I felt so sorry for your plight and just wanted to respond. I think as @Enarete says, you need at least a second and maybe third opinion. There may be other options. If you did need implants, could you have a payment plan?
Sean McGowan( Pogues) had all his teeth replaced by implants and still sang and online there's an opera singer who had the same and also jaw rebuilding. She is singing again.
All is not lost. Nil desperandum! Maybe write down all your concerns/ fears/ hopes before an appointment in case you are too anxious to say them aloud?
Will your dentist refer you to a specialist dental hospital ?

Best wishes.

 

[letsconnect]

@Loupyloulou maybe you could ask @Gordon in the Ask a Dentist section for advice? Dentures are one of his Mastermind subjects…

I think that singing might be more difficult with the immediate (temporary) dentures, before you get the permanent ones. For the permanent ones, cobalt chrome ones would probably work better, and the other key would be finding a dentist who is good at making dentures.

When your dentist said that they would affect your singing, did she mean the immediate dentures or the permanent ones? It would be worth clarifying.

We have a dentures FAQ here which might also be useful:

Dentures FAQ

Top tips for new denture wearers! Find out about different types of dentures and how to deal with "teething problems".

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Anecdotally, I know someone who wears partial dentures (cobalt chrome ones) and sings in a choir without any problems

 

[Gordon]

Mind if I pitch in here? I don't normally frequent this bit of the site but it is one of my pet subjects.
Losing a few front teeth will really not mean the end of your singing career, when I was a young dentist (sigh, so long ago...) I worked near BBC Scotland HQ in Glasgow, I had a number of professional musicians, radio DJs and a couple of TV presenters as patients. Not going to drop any names though

One of my earliest cases was a young saxophonist (Kurt, I've never forgotten him!) who had both front teeth KO'd playing basketball. First off we had to get him an emergency denture made and then a few months later, a couple of bridges to replace the teeth longer term.

It was a case of working with my technician to set the false teeth where it felt natural for him to play his sax, he brought the mouthpiece to appointments with him and we were able to work from that.

Your case is actually a bit easier, you've still got the teeth right now, so the technician has a baseline to work from, it should be possible to very closely replicate the position, shape and so forth of your natural teeth, which should in turn make it much easier for you to manage to sing with the denture in situ. Looking back at your original post, it's one of your lateral incisors that is threatened? That's much easier to work round.

As Let's Connect says, a CoCr denture can be made much thinner so won't change the shape of the "vault" of your palate too much, but even a temp acrylic denture can be made thin enough not to be too big a problem. Also, as it's a lateral incisor, if your canines are in good shape, then a Maryland bridge would be an option too, so absolutely no issue with the palatal vault. Marylands can be done as immediate insertions too, so no need for a temp acrylic denture.

Expect to spend a week or two while you acclimatise to any changes, it's good to spend that time speaking/singing in front of a mirror any chance you get and don't book any gigs for that 2 week period to not put excess pressure on yourself.

Hope this helps. I'll now retreat to my normal corner.

 

[Stewart]

Im by far an expert, in fact i dont know much at all, but im sure that you can still sing? surely?

If not thats unbelieveably cruel, i just cant understand not being able to sing at all?? surely musicians have work on their teeth at some point

 

[Loupyloulou]

Thanks everyone. Sorry I didn’t realise I had replies.

Technically I could sing, yes. But I would sound different. That’s my premolar healed and my enunciation has already changed. I’m gutted. There’s a lot more “tss” in my sound. I dread to think what losing others would do.

Through my (online) research the general consensus is that it’s a nightmare having teeth removed (and replaced) as a vocalist.

I was also out (for a very brief period) in a pub this week and I was so aware of my missing premolar I covered my mouth strategically whilst talking and didn’t open my mouth much. I’m a very smiley person.

I can’t afford payment plans (I wouldn’t be eligible for the finance anyway) as I was in a long-term abusive relationship where he took out lots of credit in my name. The trauma adds to the dental fear of course.

I have unfortunately, been acutely unwell from the mental stress (I also struggle with it). I try to reframe/distract… self-care pro level but my mental health is declining. I was close to ending it a couple of times and whilst this sounds extreme, I have been here before. Facing my phobia and facing tooth loss alongside my career has really destroyed me.

 

[Loupyloulou]

Im by far an expert, in fact i dont know much at all, but im sure that you can still sing? surely?

If not thats unbelieveably cruel, i just cant understand not being able to sing at all?? surely musicians have work on their teeth at some point

Yes, quite a few- Janis Joplin being a prolific one. But I don’t have millions of pounds… I have nothing to spare at all

 

[Loupyloulou]

@Gordon yes lateral incisor. I haven’t heard of a Maryland bridge- is that a private option? I absolutely cannot afford private unless I suddenly start to make more than £3 a year on Spotify

Thank you for your reply, you sound very knowledgeable and great to know your friend got back to his passion

 

[Loupyloulou]

@Gordon you sound like such an excellent dentist btw- are you allowed to drop a practice name? I’m not too far from Glasgow…

 

[Enarete]

I have unfortunately, been acutely unwell from the mental stress (I also struggle with it). I try to reframe/distract… self-care pro level but my mental health is declining. I was close to ending it a couple of times and whilst this sounds extreme, I have been here before. Facing my phobia and facing tooth loss alongside my career has really destroyed me.

Sorry to read this, Loupyloulou. It sounds like you have been doing what you can to keep yourself stable. Are you getting any help with it? Counselling, therapy, meds, Samaritans or whatever is out there?

 

[Stewart]

At risk of sounding thick, and everyone laughing at me, why do you HAVE to have your teeth taken out?

Why is it such a definite thing, that theres no alternatives whatsoever, and you cant just say no?

 

[Loupyloulou]

I have a whole team of people who are there for my mental health however; as much as I hate to say this, they haven’t been helpful (except one). Pills have been thrown at me again (I took a very bad reaction to it) and the crisis team usually sound worn down and often lacking in empathy. I guess they are worn down. Have tried all avenues. It’s not new to me and it usually requires my own mental strength to get through. It’s getting beyond tiring now though.

 

[Stewart]

I have a whole team of people who are there for my mental health however; as much as I hate to say this, they haven’t been helpful (except one). Pills have been thrown at me again (I took a very bad reaction to it) and the crisis team usually sound worn down and often lacking in empathy. I guess they are worn down. Have tried all avenues. It’s not new to me and it usually requires my own mental strength to get through. It’s getting beyond tiring now though.

Can i please ask Loupy why you HAVE to have your teeth taken out?

Again, i feel like im perhaps overly simplifying or misunderstanding things, but i struggle to see how taking your teeth out is the only alternative you have when at the moment youre outwardly fine, and whats to gain from taking them out anyway when itll just trash the rest of your life completely, which renders the "benefit" of having them taken out completely useless.

Is it like, they HAVE to come out or problems will escalate in other areas of your health?

 

[Loupyloulou]

They are saying there is too much infection… this is the reason. Of course I’m no dentist so I don’t know how much of this is true.