Need a woman dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

[Tia5x]

I'm looking for a woman dentist preferred that takes payments no insurance at this time. And I need alot of work, long over due. Due to fear of the pain.and no insurance .. Neglected too long my mouth needs help? It's embarrassing ?

 

[comfortdentist]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

I will admit I'm taken back by your request for a woman dentist. I have had numerous "woman dentists" who have referred patients of all types to me for treatment as they were unable to treat them.
Frankly I find this sexism offensive with the exception if you were sexually molested by a male and never confronted your male aversion via therapy. I would understand but still would say that you would be best served by pursuing a competent therapist to allow you to recover from this prior or current trauma.

 

[carole]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

Comfortdentist I think sometimes people just prefer either a male or female to do certain procedures, I don't think the poster intended any offence. I think if someone is paying for a service or treatment they have the right to choose. There could be any amount of reasons for Tia5x saying that they prefer being treated by a female.

As we don't know if Tia is male or female, it could be that if female they can relate better to another female, there may be medical reasons that they feel more comfortable there may be some treatment they are on that would embarrass them to discuss with a male.

I don't think they were being sexist or meaning to cause offence. I think because they have left getting treatment for some time that maybe they have a fear of dentists in general which is what this forum is for and I don't know if you realise that your reply comes across as being very judgemental and condescending.

I have a lot of respect for you and was surprised by the tone of your reply, I usually find you very understanding and going out of your way to help, also extremely helpful in detailed answers when someone asks you about a problem they are having. You are one of the good guys but I feel you maybe don't realise how harsh this reply may come across.

Everyone has to start to get treatment again some time and if having a preferred male/female helps with this then it is all good.

 

[comfortdentist]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

If you look at the poster's initial statement and change their preference from one that is sexist to one of a dentist's race, religion, body morphology, or age then I think you will understand my reaction better. If that's not clear consider how most everyone (I presume) on this forum would view the reverse. The dentist only wants to see women or men or Asians or any other group or worse deny treatment because the person is from a particular group.

 

[takingflight]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

Might as well jump in and add my thoughts. Like Carole, I don't see choosing to have a male or female dentist or doctor as discriminatory in the least. IF you are doing so because you think one particular gender is smarter or something along those lines then maybe you could make a case for it. If you are choosing because of a bad experience, or abuse by a particular gender which makes you prefer to have a doctor/dentist of the opposite gender then I think it is completely acceptable, especially if it allows you to seek treatment in an environment that makes you feel safe.

Your comment about looking at it from the dentist perspective and what if they denied treatment to a particular group? There are plenty of dentists who don't want to treat phobics or anxious people and refer them elsewhere, does that mean we should all feel discriminated against? As a teary eyed, always anxious, probably annoying patient, I wouldn't think twice if someone said they didn't want to treat me because I was too much work etc. I was lucky enough to find a patient, kind dentist but I have friends who know me and say that their dentist would not want to deal with me. I'm not offended in the least.

Lastly, we've totally hijacked this thread - so sorry to the original poster who deserves to have an actual answer to her question. Tia5x - if we haven't scared you off - I will try to do a little searching to see if I can find some dentists you may be able to check out.

 

[Tink]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

takingflight is right, this has totally hijacked a new poster's thread!

There's an existing discussion thread where some of these issues have already been mentioned, I propose we carry on the conversation over there if anybody wants to -> https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/phobics-prefer-blondes-no-gentlemen.1150/

Tia, welcome to the forum, I hope you find what you are looking for! Nowhere near NC personally, but I wish you all the best and please don't feel put off by this.

 

[takingflight]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

Hi Tia5x,

I only saw one recommendation on our forum and it didn't offer much in the way of details so I don't know if there is a female dentist at this particular practice. Perhaps if you try a search on the internet you may find some websites of local offices that will allow you to see the staff, read reviews and see what they offer in the way of services and sedation, if you so desire. You can narrow down some of your internet searches and visit the office to meet the staff and see if you feel comfortable. If the thought of doing that makes you too nervous you may want to reach out to them via email and explain your situation.

I hope you find a practice with a warm, compassionate staff that will help you to seek the care you need. Also, please feel free to seek support in our support section or start a journal if you feel it will help you as you start your dental journey. As someone who has been in your shoes, I will say, there is no reason to be embarrassed. The past is just that, the past - you should feel proud that you are taking action now to get on the path to dental health. Your dentist shouldn't not judge you or make you feel bad and if they do, there is nothing wrong with finding another.

Wishing you luck in your search.

 

[carole]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

Firstly apologies to Tia5x for the taking over of your thread.

Comfortdentist I can see the point you are making, if this was about colour, religion, or any of the reasons you have stated I could understand if you felt attacked being male. I have been surprised at how offended you are by this thread when it is a male/female preference thing.

I like takingflight have been refused treatment because I was considered hard work because I was terrified. I have also being neglected by dentists because of being nervous and terrified and they just couldn't be bothered'. I have also been shunned out of a dr's office when I went for an appointment and asked him to give me a script for HRT, he was mortified and said he didn't get involved with women's problems.

I haven't minded if a dentist feels they can't cope with my nerves until I get used to them, it must be hard for some to treat a shaking patient, that is in tears. I just find a dentist that can deal with it and work with me to find a way to cope with getting treatment. As for male doctors not wanting to treat women,s ailments I understand and I just find a female or a male that does treat women.

If a dentist or doctor didn't want to treat me because I am a woman, that is fine. I would rather they told me, instead of treating me under duress.

I don't for one minute think that Tia had any other reason of asking about a female dentist other than they feel more comfortable and able to seek treatment from a female.

I think it is all down to the dentist and the manner they treat you so male/female doesn't bother me but if initially someone needs a male or female to get them going I don't see it matters.

 

[geos]

Re: Need a dentist in Charlotte, NC ASAP

Where I live, I have noticed doctors that are banned from seeing any female patients and others that it's patients of a certain age group. You can find documentation online of the courts and review boards decisions regarding those bans.

I think that if the Justice department and the medical governing body where I live are comfortable enough to restrict a doctor's client base regarding their gender or their age (in comparison to a full ban from the profession), any patient should be able to have a preference on their doctor's gender.