• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

Need to visit the Dentist, but Terrified to Ask



Junior member
Jul 13, 2016
Hello, everyone. Well, I believe I've had at least one abscessed tooth (hopefully that's it) and other tooth problems for a while now and today I decided to look more into what could happen if one was to be left untreated. I immediately broke down and admitted (to myself) that I HAD to go to the dentist ASAP. Now, one obstacle I have to conquer is my mother. I'm so scared of what she's going to think, say, and ask. Money's pretty tight right now as she's currently paying her long list of dental bills. She's also always busy, plus I just really hate simply telling my parents something's wrong with me and the "spotlight" effect I feel when I do so. I just don't know how I should go about asking... Should I say something more minor is wrong and let her find out whatever else is wrong at the actual dentist or should I just put it out there? Any support is greatly appreciated.
Hi welcome to the forum.

I would just tell your mum that you think you have an abscess and that you need to go and see a dentist. I am sure she would be horrified if she thought you were suffering in silence. :butterfly:
Thank you for your kind words. I asked her and told her my symptoms only and received a long lecture on how it's my fault (which it is) and how I need to start taking care of my teeth. She's very upset because I don't have dental insurance and we've had to pay a lot already not only for her, but also for me in fillings last time. So, it seems she wants to wait it out and see if it gets better, which is possibly the worst thing one can do in this situation. Eventually we're going to have to go and I'm just dreading what her reaction is going to be.
Oh dear I am sorry, it is such a shame dental treatment is so expensive. I am in the UK and we are fortunate that if it is done on the nhs it isn't too bad and in some cases you don't have to pay.

Could you perhaps see if there is a dental hospital that you could go to I think they are cheaper, I don't know where you are from but it isn't the UK as you mention not having insurance.

The abscess won't go away the only treatment would be either rct or an extraction. I hope your mum is able to get some help soon so that you can go and get the treatment you need. :grouphug: