I'd like to put tuppence worth in here if that's ok? because I once was that 13yr old girl sort of and fortunately (or unfortunately seeing as how my mouth is now) nothing bad happened but nothing was resolved and I think if you can overcome these issues young you are going to save yourself years of suffering.
Gordon with the greatest respect (I quite like you

) whilst your 'speech' might work for 99% of the population and I wish it would work for a 100% it wouldn't have worked for me at thirteen and it wouldn't work now

I would just accept I was going to die and that it was all my own stupid fault. In some ways I have been waiting to be so ill that the decision was taken out of my hands as in 'doctor she's unconsious and will die if we don't remove this tooth,' so they take it out I survive and wake up healthy wealthy and wise

well at least one of those things! but it hasn't happened and I've been in pain for a decade on and off and it's no way to live your life and this child if helped could avoid all that.
I endangered my own childrens lives as a result of my fear of needles non of this stuff is logical or anything, normally I'm sensible and relatively intelligent. Fear of needles doesn't come from nowhere or maybe it does. I remember my mother (probably with the best will in the world) saying to me at an early age 'I'm not going to lie to you because then you wouldn't trust me you are going for an injection and it will hurt not a lot but a bit' I suppose all I heard was 'hurt' so they chased me round the surgery and held me down and it did hurt

and any injection I had as a child followed that path. My youngest just finished her course of pre school vaccinations she has no fear and is quite ok with the whole deal. How have we achieved this? Well I'm out of the equation because if you put me in the same room as a needle any child would sense danger was afoot. So the bloke who is cool takes her along an injection in this house is called 'a poke' it works she's happy, relaxed, it's over before she registers any pain and she's very proud of her 'pokes' we never said it would hurt and we never said it wouldn't she made her own mind up and I'm not going to argue with her
For the child lc is talking about I would say maybe she needs to be in charge, outside of the need for treatment I would be trying to do stuff like getting her to put the numby gel on herself and try holding the needle giving herself a poke with it nothing to do with treatment or the possibility of death with just a sensitive person helping her figure it out herself without this huge pressure that she is no doubt under, worried people make you worry. I also think that avoidance stuff like using gas just brushes the problem under the carpet and I am the kettle calling the pot but she needs to be able to have injections for all sorts of reasons (you should see what I do all day and I'm not vaccinated against tetanus). I'm rambling a bit but might be worth contacting the Maudsly Hospital in London they do good behaviour modification stuff there and I'd say the whole issue needs looking at rather than just her need for dental treatment.
So I said tuppence should have said tenners worth hope no one minds
