Never Admitted This Before......Any Support Would Be Appreciated

[Emiltig]

I have just recently gone to my first dental appointment in over 12 years. For years I have struggled with extremely low self-esteem, self-worth and bouts of depression due to the state of my teeth and gums.

I'm 33, and I haven't been on a date since 2008. I've been living like a recluse. I have always felt like with my dental issues, that no one would ever accept me and so I just stopped looking for any kind of happiness, because as soon as I would start seeing someone, I knew I couldn't be completely honest with them. I felt disgusted with myself, so I told myself no one would want to be with me. I've never admitted to anyone the reason why I haven't been looking for a partner. But that's it. I finally decided something needed to change, I had been miserable for so long, and I was jeopardizing my health, both physical and mental.

So I called three weeks ago and made my appointment so I could meet my fear head on. I went last Monday and while I have a road a head of me because of my years and years of neglect, I was given hope that it's not nearly as bad as I had thought.

I don't know if anyone has gone through any of these kinds of issues but I would love to hear from anyone who has.

I'm a work in progress, but now I have more hope about this whole situation than I did even a month ago.

Thank you for hearing me out!

 

[anxiousbum]

Hey Emiltig
Well done for starting your journey, and thank you for posting such an honest account of your mental health, you certainly aren't alone on here.

I think I'm a weird case in that I didn't really realise how much my teeth were affecting my confidence until I begun the journey to fix them. Think I'm too good at suppressing my feelings, so this whole dental thing has been a huge emotional journey for me but one that is slowly but surely making me stronger. Because of my dental work I have also recently realised that I have had pure obsessive (OCD) tendencies about my body for a very long time, so am now getting help for this too, especially as I am probably going to need an extraction in the near future. It feels ridiculously hard at times but it needed to happen.

I hope things start looking up for us both soon.

Feel free to keep in touch if you wish.

 

[Emiltig]

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! It does feel like it could be impossibly difficult, but my dentist doesn't seem to be nearly as worried about everything as I still am. A lot of my fears were calmed at my first appointment, but so many more still exist.

I have a lot more questions I need to ask about my course of treatment when I go back. I was way too nervous and anxious at my initial exam to really let everything soak in. It was like I heard fragments of sentences. I have a problem of always being too much in my head.

I too have thought about starting some form of therapy, I think it would do me well. I just haven't taken that step yet.

Thank you again for replying!

 

[boundsjake]

Emmitg,

I am right there with you. Im setting foot in the dentists office for the first time in over 10 years this week. What I've come to realize, and what pushed me to finally pick up the phone and make an appointment, is that so, so much of this battle we fight is mental. We build it up in our heads like this is the end of the world, we envision all these worst case scenarios, and the fear of the unknown/diagnosis all work together to keep us basically paralyzed.

There are tens of thousands of people out there that have been in tougher situations than us, and eventually faced their fear and came out way ahead in the end. We can do it to. The key, for me, was finding and speaking with a really good dentist that truly understands my concerns and will work with me to create a treatment plan that works. Id be lying if I said I wasnt a bit anxious, but I am sure that a year from now we will be very glad we took that first step.

Good luck, congratulations, and know that you aren't alone out there.

 

[Emiltig]

boundsjake,

Thank you for your response! I greatly appreciate the support and you are totally right! The battle is mental, changing the way we think so that we can move forward, baby steps at a time. But they still count! Good luck with your appointment this week! I'm nervous for my next, April 25th, a cleaning. I trust I have choosen the right dentist and office staff to take the journey with me though. I look forward to hearing from you, I hope you post about your first visit in 10 years!

Thanks again.