• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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New here, have a medical dilemma - please help



Junior member
Nov 7, 2012
Hi Everyone: I am new here, and I am glad I found this site, and know I am not alone. I have an extreme fear of dentists, that even saying the word brings about panic and tears. I always say the only good thing about dying, is that there will be no dentists (I am very serious). I have had a bad, bad history with dentists. I am now 46 years old and have not been to a dentist in over 20 years. The only reason I went twenty years ago was because I had an absess, and could not take the pain. In fact, the only thing I have ever went to the dentist for is absessed teeth. I lived through a lot of pain with my teeth as a child. Well, to make a long story short, I now belief I need a tooth out. I have been having sinus problems for years. I do have an appointment to see a specialist next month for the sinus problems. I have been trying to avoid the inevitable fact that my back tooth is bad, and needs to be removed. If this is not the cause of all my sinus pain, I know it definitely contributes to it. I am sooo afraid to get this tooth pulled. The dentist I went to 20 years ago, told me it needed to be pulled, that it could definitely not be saved. I have so much going on in my life right now, I work full time, have 2 kids, and am trying to take care of my Mom, who has dementia. How the heck am I suppose to conquer my fear, and go to the dentist with all this going on? Has anyone here had a decaying upper back tooth extracted? Please give me some advise on how you did it. Thank you.
Hi Delsina.... I'm so sorry you are in such pain. We all know exactly how you feel here. I'm 44 and I had my top wisdom teeth (the very back ones) extracted a couple of years ago. I can tell you that if you are numbed up properly you will feel no pain and it will be a very easy extraction. I don't know why but the top ones are easier to extract than the bottoms. Having said that ... everyone is different. Alot will depend on your xrays. The only way I can imagine you having any problems is if you have really long roots or some other unusual problem with the roots. When I had mine out one of them had a decayed hole on the back of it. I could not see it but I could feel something sharp back there with my tongue. I didn't have any kind of sedation... just locals and a little bit of gas. The gas had no effect on me at all. It was just like breathing air so I don't think they gave me much. After the locals started to work.... he extracted them and it was pretty quick and no big deal at all. He did have to drill around them a bit to get them out. I never felt any pain whatsoever on my left side but when he drilled around the right one I did feel a bit of pain but it was nothing I couldn't handle. It wasn't bad. My right side doesn't numb up properly like the left so you probably won't feel anything. I believe you can do this. You need to find a good dentist that will be sympathetic to your fears. I think you should take some kind of anxiety med if you are able like xanax or valium. It will help a great deal. More than likely you will be surprised at how easy it is. If you have an infection they will probably want you to take an antibiotic ahead of time. Also, if you have an easy extraction the recovery probably won't take long. It didn't for me. I never had any recovery problems. I do hope you have a positive experience. It wouldn't hurt to atleast get it looked at and xrayed to see what's going on. If you are too scared there is also the option of iv sedation.

Nobody likes emergency dental treatments, not even people who are normally OK with going to the dentist. If that's all the dental visits you've had, no wonder you're afraid.

You need to find a good and reputable dentist, then you can have your painful tooth treated first, and then have less urgent issues dealt with so you'll avoid pain in the future.

It really seems bad now, but once you get used to seeing a GOOD reputable dentist more regularly, you'll find that it's not so bad after all. The tooth problems you have are small compared to the other challenges in your life, and once the tooth problem is solved, you have more energy to deal with the others. You are helping many other people now, but you also need to take care of yourself, and getting bad teeth treated is just that.

I know I sound unrealistically like little miss sunshine, but this is how it worked out for me: I was really scared of the dentist, after having to go and get a lot of problems fixed, the fear disappeared. It was a huge, big problem that just shrunk into nothing. That's actually a really cool experience.

I had an upper back tooth removed, it wasn't very decayed, it just kept being painful after the dentist had tried to save it with a root canal. It had to go. I had an oral surgeon do it, and it was OK. He was really nice to me and made sure I got enough local anesthetic so I couldn't feel anything. I really didn't even feel any pressure, the tooth was taken out in pieces, and it was all over in a couple of minutes. I got some nice pain meds afterwards, and took the rest of the day off, sitting at home feeling sorry for myself:giggle:. No big deal, really. I still have the empty space, and sometimes miss having a tooth there, but I don't miss the pain.

Best of luck!

Hi Delsina

I am so sorry to hear about all of your problems. It can sometime be a bit of a trawl to find the right dentist, but be assured, the trawl will be worth it. Once you have someone in who you can trust, everything else will fall into place, especially when the trusted person knows how you are about the whole thing. They will take time to work with you and for you. I hope that you get that person soon to help you.

You have my utter :respect: for dealing with all this, as well as having a young family, work ethics and a mum with dementia. I work with people with dementia, and unless you have a relative or like me work in this area, the emotional strain can be tremendous, so here are a few of these so you know you are not alone :XXLhug::hug5::hug4::there-there::XXLhug:

Thank you all so very much. It really makes me feel a little better about my tooth problem. I am currently on antibiotics and naproxen for my sinuses. I am praying that this will buy me a little time before I see the dentist. I have a few more days to go on the medicine, and if I still have the tooth pain, I will have no other choice but to go. It is really interfering with my life. I cannot kid myself anymore. I will start looking now for a good dentist in my area. I am just really scared.

And thank you so much Kim for all the hugs, it was very nice, and much appreciated. :)

If anyone knows a good dentist in the Boston, MA area, please let me know.

Have a great day!
You are more than welcome sweetie, and if you are anything like me, and can't even bare to speak to someone related to a dental surgery, then e-mail them, tell them your problems - you may not get a response, and so spilling out your heart won't really matter as you are never going to go with them anyway, and when you get a response(s), 'vet' them until you feel comfortable with their response, their attitude and their openness and willingness to want to help you.

I wish you well sweetie, and let us know how you get along.

You are certainly stronger than you are probably giving yourself credit for :XXLhug: