(New here) severe decay and scared

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benaua88

Junior member
Joined
Feb 3, 2018
Messages
3
Hi I'm 25 and haven't been to the dentist in over 5 years despite having tooth decay that needed to be addressed.

No surprise but in 5 years the decay has gotten much worse and I now have three teeth--two second molars and an impacted wisdom tooth (well, the out of the gums but right angle version) that have severe (like broken, quarter of the tooth or more gone) dental decay.

For whatever reason I have had only occasional minor pain because of this until yesterday (further break in one tooth set it off). Anyway I finally won't be able to avoid the dentist. I'm aware on some level that this is for the best, but I'm so scared!

Besides fear of what I'll have to go through, I'm really scared of the dentist not understanding how I've let my teeth get this way. If I have to have my teeth pulled (which, realistically is what will happen) I'm also really scared of explaining it to my family and my girlfriend who are unaware of the state of my teeth (and my dental fears...)

Just looking for words of encouragement I guess.

A more practical concern: what should I say to whatever dentist's office I end up calling...
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Sep 18, 2017
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3,312
Hi Benaua,

first of all congrats on the decision to call a practice despite your fear, and even despite the fact that you are not in so much pain. A lot of people put treatment off till things get very bad.

I understand that you feel like 5 years are really a long time and that the state of your teeth is very bad, but believe me, your dentist will have seen worse. There are people who haven't been to the dentist for ages or who need to get very extensive treatment.
The dentist won't judge you, he or she will be focused on what can be done to help you and how to move things forward for you. By the way, very often, and you will find this fact in a lot of the posts here, people need much less treatment than they think. And exactly for this reason it would be too early to think of what to tell your girlfriend or family.

If you feel comfortable calling a practice, you could tell them exactly that - that you haven't been to the dentist for 5 years, need some work and are scared. You can contact the most practices via email and explain your situation like you did here, if it makes you feel more comfortable.

All the best and keep us updated!
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Jul 26, 2017
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2,966
Benaua,

First good for you for even being motivated to write here and just get it out there and thinking about it already processing what you feel needs to be done.

I agree with Enarete! It may not be nearly as bad as you think... and even as my own dentist says.. 'we are our own worst judge". and I know for me I am so shameful of my teeth.. but i push through all of the discomfort in my head and just go and get things taken ccare of and always end up feeling better after!

I really hope you find someone very compassionate. I would put your fears and thoughts on the table so you know how they will be and react and that cuts right to getting someone you know is fairly compassionate! many times you can get a feeling via email if you want to start there..

Just take steps. little by little and you will be glad you did.. you are brave for wanting to step out, as hard as facing something is, avoidance is harder in the long run..

keep us updated.!! there are beautiful people on here who care!! and know what you are going through
 
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Zoidberg444

Member
Joined
Jan 13, 2018
Messages
42
I'm a little older than you, but i'm in a very similar position. The big day is on the 20th for me. I'm dreading it. But i have to do something because i'm worried if I don't I will loose all my teeth and I don't have a chewing side any more. Nothing for it but to get it over with mate!
 
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StefyS

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2017
Messages
27
Good luck with the dentist. What I will say, is please don't put your appointments off. I waited 6 years before going and I have now had to have 2 teeth (lower 1st molar and upper 2nd molar) removed, I am having a re root canal treatment on my upper 1st pre-molar and possibly upper 1st molar on the same side, my lower wisdom tooth has some active decay and will need to come out but it's not giving me problems at the moment so the dentist isn't too concerned at the moment, a possible root canal on my front tooth and that's just the one side.

I was really worried about what my husband and my friends would think but my husband completely understands and wants me to do whats best for me so I'm not in pain anymore and whatever gets rid of the horrible infections in my mouth so I can be healthy again. My friends don't even care that I'm missing 2 teeth, one is a second molar (they can't even see the gap, I mean I can't even see that one when I look closely) and will support me. Some of them don't even know I have 2 missing and if people judge you then are they really your friends?! I was worried people would look at me differently because I'm missing teeth but actually it hasn't changed anything for me. Your family will always stick by you no matter what.

Just please do what is best for you to not be in pain and to help your mouth feel healthy again. Friends and family will always understand. I can't wait for the day when I can just enjoy my day without a pain in my teeth or gums. I'm hoping my pains will all end within the next 6 months as I'm taking quick actions to get everything fixed asap.

Good luck with it all! Keep us updated
 
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benaua88

Junior member
Joined
Feb 3, 2018
Messages
3
Hey all,

Thanks for your replies! Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I made an appointment for late this month but I've been in pain and now have some swelling so I have an emergency appointment for this afternoon.

I am so scared and didn't adequately explain my situation to the receptionist on the phone, but oh well. I'm trying to psych myself up into expressing my fears to the dentist. I'm also so afraid of not preparing her before she looks at my teeth.

My plan is to tell her that I am very anxious about dentist visits and know that I have a lot of work that needs to be done, but that today I only want to deal with my urgent problem. I hope I can say that! I'll try to update you after the appointment.

Also, I'm slowly informing people in my life, not in a totally honest way but I'm trying. My girlfriend knows I have an emergency dentist appointment for example.... its a start!

-Ben
 
A

Anxious76

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2017
Messages
318
Hey all,

Thanks for your replies! Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I made an appointment for late this month but I've been in pain and now have some swelling so I have an emergency appointment for this afternoon.

I am so scared and didn't adequately explain my situation to the receptionist on the phone, but oh well. I'm trying to psych myself up into expressing my fears to the dentist. I'm also so afraid of not preparing her before she looks at my teeth.

My plan is to tell her that I am very anxious about dentist visits and know that I have a lot of work that needs to be done, but that today I only want to deal with my urgent problem. I hope I can say that! I'll try to update you after the appointment.

Also, I'm slowly informing people in my life, not in a totally honest way but I'm trying. My girlfriend knows I have an emergency dentist appointment for example.... its a start!

-Ben

Good luck today, Ben! It’s good you’re going in earlier to be looked at, tooth pain is miserable to live with. Taking to your dentist before they begin the exam is the best thing you can do. Express your fears and concerns and give a little background so they know they have a nervous patient. Way to go on talking to your girlfriend. You have to walk before you run and you’re on your way now! Let us know how you make out please.
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
633
Ben, look at you, posting here like a champ.

You keep doing what you've been doing, and before you know it this will be in your rearview mirror.

And hey, there is no "right way" to do this. Do it the "right way", the "wrong way", or just your way. You're the captain of your destiny here. You don't have to justify or explain yourself here, to the receptionist, the hygienist, or the dentist. This journey is about you.

Now, you have a journey ahead of you, and it will have some moments.

But you aren't alone in this, and you are already doing exactly, wholly, what anyone would suggest you do.

I'm really interested in hearing how things go for you. I think this is going to be an interesting experience for you. If you do what you know you need to do, I think you'll be feeling considerably better, and sooner than you expect.

I'm real excited for you.
 
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benaua88

Junior member
Joined
Feb 3, 2018
Messages
3
Hey all, thanks for the supportive messages. I’m exhausted from the whole thing and I can give more detail later, but i had pt 1 of a root canal one one molar today. The dentist was so kind and accepted that I only wanted to deal with one specific issue today.

Since I had an infection the part of the root canal I got was only 20 minutes, after waiting around for novocaine. The oral surgeon who performed my root canal was so patient and frequently checked in with me. Also I warned the dental hygienists etc about the state of my mouth and they said that they wouldn’t judge me/ that they just wanna help me/ etc and it felt really sincere.

I still have more dental issues to deal with but this experience has really convinced me I can do it! If any of you wanna know more about how it went for me please ask! I might share an unsolicited detailed account regardless ;)

-Ben
 
Enarete

Enarete

Super Moderator
Staff member
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Sep 18, 2017
Messages
3,312
Ben,

thanks for the update, hope you can get some good rest now and recuperate from the whole experience, this is a real achievement! :jump: t's great to hear that you have managed to tell your dental team about your concerns regarding the state of your mouth and also talking to people in your surroundings - these are big steps forwards.

So a huge pat on the back and hopefully you treat yourself greatly for having gone through the treatment.

Look forward to hear from you soon again
 
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