New member - 22 year old dental phobic girl :-(

[Lauz]

Hey so here's my short story
for as long as I can remember I have been terrified of the dentist and when I was younger used to have constant nightmares about my teeth falling out etc. Luckily these nigtmares have now stopped but I'm still left with a huge fear of the dentist and even thinking about it makes me anxious.
I avoided the dentist from the time I was old enough for my parents to not force me into going every six months, until 4 years later when I was in severe pain before a holiday and didn't want a toothache to ruin my much longed for holiday in the sun, so I made an appointment with an nhs emergency dentist. Now fortunatly nothing was wrong with that tooth, yet as I was leaving the office I heard the dentists mutter to his nurse how awful my orthodontics were (crooked teeth). So, yea i've always known I have crooked teeth and will get then fixed one day but this comment just totaly trashed any confidence in my smile that I had.
So, I know my teeth aren't in bad shape at all, as I had a check up last year ( the first in 5 years) and needed no treatment at all, and was told to come back in a year, now that appointment is just two weeks away and I'm terrified!!!
I don't know why, since I've never really suffered in the dentists chair, had a few fillings and a scale and polish but that's it, so why this anxiety and nausea about even thinking about the appointment. I know I'm not going to get any sleep in the few nights before the app.
Also I'm gonna ask my dentist for an orthodontic referral, so yet more terror and embaressment at people looking at my crooked teeth and wondering why I've waited til now to get them fixed
sorry for the long post, just really confused as to where my anxiety stems from and need support so I don't cancel another appointment ( I canceled one two weeks ago and managed to summon up enough courage to rebook)
Thanks

 

[TerrifiedWoman]

Hi Lauz! I think sometimes fear comes from just imagining the worst..then it grows and grows until we terrify ourselves.
Don't worry..the dentist should not judge you for having crooked teeth. He's there to help you..and he's working FOR YOU. Be honest and tell them you're afraid. If you don't think you'll be able to actually SAY it..write it down before the appointment and hand it to them when you get there to read. (That's what I did!)
If it's support you need..you've come to the right place!

 

[kitkat]

Hi Lauz!

Your story sounds so similar to me that I had to post on this! I am also a 22 year old female who is also terrified of dentists without an origin! You are actually the first person that I have read of besides myself who does not seem to have a reason for the anxiety...most people have had a bad experience or something but I don't recall any bad experiences. As long as I can remember, I have been scared. I remember being like 4 or 5 yrs old and shaking in my boots in the waiting room at the pediatric dentist and that's just how it's always been. I'm so sorry you had to hear that inconsiderate dentist's comments about your teeth! That was completely inappropriate and rude!

Fortunately, before I was able to make my own medical decisions my mom found a really good dentist who addressed this issue with me who is still my dentist which makes it more bearable to go although I still tremble in the chair. I'm still working on it! But since I couldn't really figure out why I was afraid I began to research what it is exactly that I feared and that really helped a lot. For me, I think it's a control thing...I really like to be in control of my environment and being in a situation where I'm giving the control to someone else really stirs up a lot of anxiety for me...I found this out by reading about it in the common fears section of this site and by my dentist sorta pointing it out. One day she said "Remember, you're the one in control here, if you want me to stop, I'll stop"...that day a light bulb came on because A. The fact that I was in control had never occurred to me and B. I suddenly felt 100 times better and suddenly trusted her 100 times more then I had before. From there we went to establishing stop signals and she would warn me about what she was doing and what sensations were coming up...now I can handle treatments fairly well although my anticipatory anxiety is still pretty intense. It has lessened with time and lots of positive experiences but this last time it came back with a vengeance! I get nauseous/sleepless too before appointments and after appointments I have a full on adrenaline crash and have a headache and just feel completely drained the rest of the day!

But I would try pin pointing your fears and then maybe trying to address them with your dentist....it could help make the anxiety more manageable...also if your dentist knows your nervous they tend to go slower and are more sensitive to things that could trigger anxiety and thus do a better job warning you beforehand about sensations, sounds, etc. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone! Hope you get on well with your next appointment! Best of Luck!

kitkat

 

[Nashida]

Lauz, you sound exactly like me. I'm also a 22 year old phobic girl, and as far as I can remember, my fear never actually came from a horrifying experience but more because of the procedure involved and the tools used. A week ago I made my first appointment in two years and while I'm absolutely terrified to hear what he has to say about my mouth, I am relieved that I am nipping this in the bud now before it has a chance to get any worse than it might be.

Don't worry about the dentist judging your crooked teeth. Dentists see a variety of mouths every days, and there's a high chance they've seen mouths way worse than you think yours might be. Remember, you are not just a patient but also a customer. If you think your dentist isn't respecting your fear or treating you fairly, get up, walk out, and find a new dentist. You are in control.

As far as your fear, try to pinpoint exactly what it is you are afraid of before you visit. Is it the smell? The tools they use? Once you know, call ahead and mention that you are afraid of (whatever it is) and ask what they do to help someone who is afraid. Maybe take some music to listen to while they work on you, that's always worked for me.

Remember, you're not alone! The people here are amazing, and are more than willing to help! Hang in there and best of luck~

 

[katimae]

I totally understand. I am also extremely dental phobic and I have also never had any major issues. I just had a horrible dental visit and I was so upset about it I called my regular doctor. I explained to her bout my fear and sleeplessness and how I get physically ill just thinking about it. She told me that she even has a phobia of the dentist and she gets calls all the time about this. She gave me xanax to help me sleep before the appointment and even suggested that I take half the day of if I feel like I can't deal with it. Just being able to relax and sleep at night has made a huge difference. When I went to the pharmacy to pick up my xanax I was talking to the pharmacist about why I need it and she admitted she also takes xanax to get through dental appointments. Then she said something that really hit home for me. She said you know, when you go you always can count on it being painful and expensive and who wants someone messing with their face? Think about it, the biggest insults are spitting in someone's face or throwing something in their face. We are all very sensitive about the personal space around our face and this total stranger totally violates that. How could it not be really unpleasant? I feel better knowing that that is a big part of my issue with it. I hope you figure out what makes you so uncomfortable about it too. PS that dentist that made the remark about your teeth was a jerk!

 

[brit]

She said you know, when you go you always can count on it being painful and expensive and who wants someone messing with their face?

painful - doesn't have to be - this is the good news

expensive - well yes lol

invasion of personal space - well yes, hence why you do really really need to be comfortable with the person who you allow to be your dentist

Great progress already Katimae, see how talking about it brings support from other women in your case.

 

[Lauz]

Thanks for your replies everybody, it's nice to know I'm not the only one with a sort of unfounded fear of the dentist
so my appointment is ten days away, and so far I'm feeling not too nervous, though I must admit the appointment is constantly at the back of my mind and I do think about it probably once or twice an hour
luckily I have a really good dentist who I have seen since I was a child after the phobia had already developed though, he is very kind and understanding and has always been very patient with me during the couple of fillings I've had in the past.
I've also developed a habit now though, of looking in the mirror at my teeth and gums to see if they are healthy multiple times a day!! Totally obsessivly, I'm hoping this will pass after the visit!
And yes that dentist was a jerk, thankfully not the dentist I'm actually registered with.