P
Peggy55
Junior member
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2011
- Messages
- 5
In 1959, aged 4, I was taken to my first dentist for a check up...can't remember much.
My parents then thought they would do the best by me and registered me with a local village private dentist with whom I stayed with until I could legally say ' NO '
During these years, I suffering the worst butchery you can imagine. Extractions and fillings with no anesethetic...experimental gold fillings .....'odd' experiences in the chair.....and I am not proud to say as a 55 year old, 50 years on......I have never visited a dentist since, with one desperate exception. It left me with such sheer terror that the very suggestion of a dentist makes me vomit.
I always made sure my children had good teeth, resisting gagging as I enforced dentist visits... but I was happy to suffer any amount of pain rather than make that call for me.
Why have I just joined this forum ? Why am I typing ? Two reasons.........
One, none of my kids knew how I felt, how deep the fear is, vomiting / passing out fear. Two days ago for no apparent reason nor prompted, my son and I spoke of his recent dental treatment...and I just opened up and shared my fear.
Bless him, and the rest of my children, they have seen my dental deteriation over the years and said nothing...I guess not to hurt my feelings.
I shared that unless ' they ' could knock me out to do whatever I would never visit a dentist ever. He said he thought he had heard of someone..somewhere who could help. I dismissed this and we reverted back to talking about carburetters and fuel consumption.
The next day his girlfriend called me, not realising I had this huge problem ( damn did she think I want to look like this ? !!) and said she attended a clinic, they did IV sedation, and that could help and gave me their number.
So, first step...admitting all.
I googled this dentist till my eyes boggled......I read and read....I then googled and read hundreds of IV users and couldn't find ANY that were negative. So last night I rang the surgery. I was crying and felt so sick it was untrue. Could not believe I rang but did know this might be the help I needed if I could hack it.
I have got to the point I am ashamed now. It was ok while the decay and holes were far back, I could hide them with a half and forced smile, but now......my front tooth has gone and I cant. It is affecting my whole quality of life. I don't go out...don't mix...stay away from everyone.....shame on top of fear...
But I did ring, AND through the tears booked an initial appointment on the promise they won't touch me. The lady I spoke to was lovely, saying many clients in my age bracket were victims of early butchery.
Second reason for joining...selfishly ...I am scared at what I have done and scared I won't have the courage to turn up for that first appointment....
I know how pathetic I sound........but you can't believe how scared and frantic I feel.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.x
My parents then thought they would do the best by me and registered me with a local village private dentist with whom I stayed with until I could legally say ' NO '
During these years, I suffering the worst butchery you can imagine. Extractions and fillings with no anesethetic...experimental gold fillings .....'odd' experiences in the chair.....and I am not proud to say as a 55 year old, 50 years on......I have never visited a dentist since, with one desperate exception. It left me with such sheer terror that the very suggestion of a dentist makes me vomit.
I always made sure my children had good teeth, resisting gagging as I enforced dentist visits... but I was happy to suffer any amount of pain rather than make that call for me.
Why have I just joined this forum ? Why am I typing ? Two reasons.........
One, none of my kids knew how I felt, how deep the fear is, vomiting / passing out fear. Two days ago for no apparent reason nor prompted, my son and I spoke of his recent dental treatment...and I just opened up and shared my fear.
Bless him, and the rest of my children, they have seen my dental deteriation over the years and said nothing...I guess not to hurt my feelings.
I shared that unless ' they ' could knock me out to do whatever I would never visit a dentist ever. He said he thought he had heard of someone..somewhere who could help. I dismissed this and we reverted back to talking about carburetters and fuel consumption.
The next day his girlfriend called me, not realising I had this huge problem ( damn did she think I want to look like this ? !!) and said she attended a clinic, they did IV sedation, and that could help and gave me their number.
So, first step...admitting all.
I googled this dentist till my eyes boggled......I read and read....I then googled and read hundreds of IV users and couldn't find ANY that were negative. So last night I rang the surgery. I was crying and felt so sick it was untrue. Could not believe I rang but did know this might be the help I needed if I could hack it.
I have got to the point I am ashamed now. It was ok while the decay and holes were far back, I could hide them with a half and forced smile, but now......my front tooth has gone and I cant. It is affecting my whole quality of life. I don't go out...don't mix...stay away from everyone.....shame on top of fear...
But I did ring, AND through the tears booked an initial appointment on the promise they won't touch me. The lady I spoke to was lovely, saying many clients in my age bracket were victims of early butchery.
Second reason for joining...selfishly ...I am scared at what I have done and scared I won't have the courage to turn up for that first appointment....
I know how pathetic I sound........but you can't believe how scared and frantic I feel.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.x