M
Mayacat
Junior member
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2016
- Messages
- 1
Hi,
This is pretty long, so bear with me...
I've been lurking on this site for a while and have finally gotten up the nerve to actually post something. That should tell you my state of mind when it comes to going to see a dentist!
I haven't been to a dentist in about 25 years -- since my senior year of high school. I had some really bad experiences with dentists and my orthodontist as a child, and my fears followed me into adulthood.
When I was a kid, I was terrified of needles and feared getting Novocaine. That set me off and I had a terrible relationship with my dentist, who was very nasty. My orthodontist wasn't so nice, either. I once winced in pain when he cut my lip and made it bleed... and he said, "This is nothing. It's not like you're going through childbirth right now." Nice, right? Ironically, I'm childless, so I never did go through that!
When I was 14, I had four wisdom teeth removed. They couldn't do it in the office because even after they put me under, I was apparently fighting the surgeon. I then had to go to the hospital to have them removed and woke up during the surgery. I wasn't in pain; I couldn't really feel anything, but it was a scary experience.
As I got older, I suffered from depression and various eating disorders, and ended up becoming morbidly obese. I let my health and my appearance go, and the bad food only made my teeth worse. In 2011, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes.
Well, in 2013 -- a few months before my 40th birthday -- I decided to get my life in order. I began walking and eating well, and have lost over 100 pounds. My diabetes is under control and I have participated in several long-distance walking events. My husband and I did a 39-miler in October and just finished an 18-miler this weekend. My next goal is to speed walk a marathon.
I also began seeing doctors regularly. I got a mammogram, finally went back to my gyno and see everyone else on schedule... all except the dentist. I feel like he or she is the final piece I need to complete my "healthy" puzzle.
Oddly enough, I'm not scared of needles or pain. I think I can handle that. As a diabetic, I had to inject myself (but am off insulin, yay!), so I'm now used to needles.
I haven't really discussed this with anyone, not even my husband. He needs to see a dentist, too, but it's not fear that's keeping him. It's more like he's forgetful about making doctor's appointments and needs me to set the example. Every so often my dad will ask me, "So, have you seen a dentist?" and I abruptly change the subject. I HATE when he checks up on me. I feel like he's digging into a part of me that I don't want to be reached.
I'm concerned about a few things: A) That the damage to my teeth is beyond repair. One molar has fallen out and my front two bottom teeth have separated. My top teeth look OK, but my bottoms are an absolute mess. I'm picturing the dentist having to remove every bottom tooth. B) That said, I'm worried about the recovery time. I know that fixing my teeth will make me healthier, but I don't want to be laid up in pain for weeks and have it cut into my walking program. I don't want to go back to my old size. C) I'm also concerned about the cost. I found a recommended "caters to cowards" dentist, but I don't think he takes insurance. My husband and I both work for ourselves. We have insurance, but even with that, getting various procedures is going to add up. D) Embarrassment. That's been covered a lot on this board, but I'm still angry at myself for waiting for so long. E) Finally, my biggest concern is that I'm a musician. Specifically, I play flute and am afraid that having my teeth worked on will end my music career. I don't want to have to stop playing!
Anyway, I've rambled on for long enough. I KNOW I need to see a dentist and that it'll only help me in the long run. I keep telling myself to make the call, to do it this summer, but I came here first. I hope that checking in will give me the shot of courage I need to do it.
Thank you for listening.
This is pretty long, so bear with me...
I've been lurking on this site for a while and have finally gotten up the nerve to actually post something. That should tell you my state of mind when it comes to going to see a dentist!
I haven't been to a dentist in about 25 years -- since my senior year of high school. I had some really bad experiences with dentists and my orthodontist as a child, and my fears followed me into adulthood.
When I was a kid, I was terrified of needles and feared getting Novocaine. That set me off and I had a terrible relationship with my dentist, who was very nasty. My orthodontist wasn't so nice, either. I once winced in pain when he cut my lip and made it bleed... and he said, "This is nothing. It's not like you're going through childbirth right now." Nice, right? Ironically, I'm childless, so I never did go through that!
When I was 14, I had four wisdom teeth removed. They couldn't do it in the office because even after they put me under, I was apparently fighting the surgeon. I then had to go to the hospital to have them removed and woke up during the surgery. I wasn't in pain; I couldn't really feel anything, but it was a scary experience.
As I got older, I suffered from depression and various eating disorders, and ended up becoming morbidly obese. I let my health and my appearance go, and the bad food only made my teeth worse. In 2011, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes.
Well, in 2013 -- a few months before my 40th birthday -- I decided to get my life in order. I began walking and eating well, and have lost over 100 pounds. My diabetes is under control and I have participated in several long-distance walking events. My husband and I did a 39-miler in October and just finished an 18-miler this weekend. My next goal is to speed walk a marathon.
I also began seeing doctors regularly. I got a mammogram, finally went back to my gyno and see everyone else on schedule... all except the dentist. I feel like he or she is the final piece I need to complete my "healthy" puzzle.
Oddly enough, I'm not scared of needles or pain. I think I can handle that. As a diabetic, I had to inject myself (but am off insulin, yay!), so I'm now used to needles.
I haven't really discussed this with anyone, not even my husband. He needs to see a dentist, too, but it's not fear that's keeping him. It's more like he's forgetful about making doctor's appointments and needs me to set the example. Every so often my dad will ask me, "So, have you seen a dentist?" and I abruptly change the subject. I HATE when he checks up on me. I feel like he's digging into a part of me that I don't want to be reached.
I'm concerned about a few things: A) That the damage to my teeth is beyond repair. One molar has fallen out and my front two bottom teeth have separated. My top teeth look OK, but my bottoms are an absolute mess. I'm picturing the dentist having to remove every bottom tooth. B) That said, I'm worried about the recovery time. I know that fixing my teeth will make me healthier, but I don't want to be laid up in pain for weeks and have it cut into my walking program. I don't want to go back to my old size. C) I'm also concerned about the cost. I found a recommended "caters to cowards" dentist, but I don't think he takes insurance. My husband and I both work for ourselves. We have insurance, but even with that, getting various procedures is going to add up. D) Embarrassment. That's been covered a lot on this board, but I'm still angry at myself for waiting for so long. E) Finally, my biggest concern is that I'm a musician. Specifically, I play flute and am afraid that having my teeth worked on will end my music career. I don't want to have to stop playing!
Anyway, I've rambled on for long enough. I KNOW I need to see a dentist and that it'll only help me in the long run. I keep telling myself to make the call, to do it this summer, but I came here first. I hope that checking in will give me the shot of courage I need to do it.
Thank you for listening.
