• Dental Phobia Support

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Newbie Tale of Woe

K

K-9

Junior member
Joined
Sep 3, 2017
Messages
3
Awake for a change due to slight throbbing in jaw. Came across this site and thought, ace, there's other folk like me!

I'm 46 and didn't visit a dentist from 16 years old to 31. Mainly due to terrible experiences with the school dentist....you know when they visited and checked your teeth and then a teacher would come into the class waving a pink slip at you, so EVERYONE knew you had bad teeth? Every year during secondary school I got a pink slip. The first time my mum took me to the community dentist, he gave me a filling without any anaesthetic while a nurse held me down in the chair. I was 12 and distressed doesn't come close. The next time I got a slip, she refused to take me.. the next three slips never made it home. Between 19 and 21 I had abscesses on my very back upper molars but didn't get treatment. I suffered with the pain. Between 25 and 27 the same happened to the next tooth on each side. I suffered with the pain...the infections went away eventually but this was just lucky I think and certainly not advisable. When the next tooth along on my left side broke, I bore the pain for a while but the facial swelling was too noticeable and I ended up in A&E where they wanted to put me on IV antibiotics. I refused but walked into a dentist surgery, broke down and made an appointment for the week after to give the oral Abs time to heal the infection. The staff were brilliant.

i went for my appointment but I had to literally force myself to go. I was a wreck but he was a lovely man. I ended up having two root canals on my upper left side and several fillings. All was well for a year or so until one of the teeth with a root canal shattered and I'd to go back. I found that my lovely dentist had moved to a sister practice and had been replaced by a lady dentist. She deemed that both teeth with RC we're not savable and recommended extractions and a partial denture. The impressions were made that day. I was 32 by this point. The shame of it!

My partial acrylic denture was ready the day of extraction. I think in the 14 years since I got it I've worn it for only the first couple of months. It felt the size of a shoe in my mouth. I gagged every time I tried to put it in. I was actually sick on two occasions. I visited a private denture type place who took one look and said that my dentist was fobbing me off....there were much better fitting and better quality dentures available on the NHS and I should go back to her and tell her so. He quoted me about £600 for a metal one with clasps but to try my dentist first which I did. I was met with such derision I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Apparently, there was no alternative denture...the only other option, she said, would be implants which she also said I couldn't possibly afford. She was right but a tad presumptuous, I think! Basically, I could put up or shut up. Given the choice of having the equivalent of a fist in my mouth making me vom or not temporarily eating or smiling until I sorted an alternative out, the partials have been tucked away in the recesses of my mind and my wardrobe for 14 years. I didn't go back to that dentist either.

fast forward to now aged v nearly 46. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I have been immensely lucky not to have had any major problems until now, but I'm in a bit of a pickle. A broken tooth has led to an infection in my lower right 2nd premolar and guess what? No dentist! Started mid June with pain....I use the word pain lightly as it was bloody excruciating...by far and away worse than any of the others combined but it came and went. Thank God for otc ibuprofen and codeine! Last week I approached a dentist....I've been meaning to do it for sometime to get my missing teeth sorted but the pain forced me into action. I called one that a friend uses and was asked to visit to complete a registration form. I registered but was told that I was on a waiting list and it would be two weeks before they contacted me with an appointment. I explained the pain and was advised to call 111 if the pain got bad (?)....that surgery can actually take 3 emergency cases each evening. This was Tuesday last week. On Wednesday in the early hours, it was clear this had gone passed toothache and I was obviously dying. I called 111 at 6am and was advised a dental nurse would call me back between 7.30 and 9.30 am with an emergency appointment. She did....for Friday at 11am...a full 48 hours away at a practice in the next village. The surgery I'd registered at on Tuesday didn't have any appointments until the following Monday. So much for 3 emergency appointments each evening!

from Wednesday to Friday I didn't sleep. On Friday morning, I dragged myself there, quaking and shaking. I was mortified when he started with the '8 missing 7 missing 6 missing blah blah blah". He xrayed it, filled it with something, gave me a script for amoxicillin, charged me £20.60 and sent me on my way. Now go find a dentist he said because that's going to have to come out. It's not worth saving. And you can't come here unless you're private. Or an emergency. Excellent.

You would think that I would have learned from each abscess, each mouthful of broken teeth, each course of abs, each extraction, to save myself the trauma and anguish and get it sorted before the damage is too great..mais non. I appear to think it will go away or I'll go next week if it still hurts and that it's clearly better to writh around in absolute agony for weeks or months or years instead of getting treatment. I must also think it's easier to cover my mouth with my hand when I smile to hide the missing teeth, to eat crap because I can't chew properly, to drink more alcohol than I should because I forget how much weight I've put on by comfort eating or to hide how ugly I feel and give me more confidence around other people and also to not admit how depressed it's all made me. Bizarre isn't it to go through all that? It isn't just about pain and missing teeth...parts of me are also missing and I'm sure that's the same for many other people in similar situations. I am determined to get me back this time....even with partial acrylic dentures. Dear God...nooooooo

thank you for reading!
 
Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I have read your piece and can relate to it a lot . Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss further.
 
Newbie...

I as well.... identify with this... I know I am and I think many of us are on the "damage control if that" type of regiman.. I just freeze, don't go, get nervous, get picky..then an emergency comes up and I go because I have to but I walk in with my tail between my legs ashamed at how awful my mouth is.. and do the same cycle again because . I'm a single mom who really can't afford to do a whole lot so I just wait till the next absess and do that.. not a good idea but thats what I've been doing..

I do the same thing I cover my mouth , I don't take any pics. really , ashamed of my smile. and I eat a bunch of soft stuff.. It sounds like the dentist you went to wasn't all too friendly either. I hope you get in somewhere that can be compassionate and help.

We are here to talk... as you process through this..
 
Newbie...

I as well.... identify with this... I know I am and I think many of us are on the "damage control if that" type of regiman.. I just freeze, don't go, get nervous, get picky..then an emergency comes up and I go because I have to but I walk in with my tail between my legs ashamed at how awful my mouth is.. and do the same cycle again because . I'm a single mom who really can't afford to do a whole lot so I just wait till the next absess and do that.. not a good idea but thats what I've been doing..

I do the same thing I cover my mouth , I don't take any pics. really , ashamed of my smile. and I eat a bunch of soft stuff.. It sounds like the dentist you went to wasn't all too friendly either. I hope you get in somewhere that can be compassionate and help.

We are here to talk... as you process through this..

This is extremely true. The dentist is the only one that can catch things before they become a bigger problem. As much as we hate the dentist, they are the only ones that can proactively keep us up to date with our dental health.
 
Awake for a change due to slight throbbing in jaw. Came across this site and thought, ace, there's other folk like me!

I'm 46 and didn't visit a dentist from 16 years old to 31. Mainly due to terrible experiences with the school dentist....you know when they visited and checked your teeth and then a teacher would come into the class waving a pink slip at you, so EVERYONE knew you had bad teeth? Every year during secondary school I got a pink slip. The first time my mum took me to the community dentist, he gave me a filling without any anaesthetic while a nurse held me down in the chair. I was 12 and distressed doesn't come close. The next time I got a slip, she refused to take me.. the next three slips never made it home. Between 19 and 21 I had abscesses on my very back upper molars but didn't get treatment. I suffered with the pain. Between 25 and 27 the same happened to the next tooth on each side. I suffered with the pain...the infections went away eventually but this was just lucky I think and certainly not advisable. When the next tooth along on my left side broke, I bore the pain for a while but the facial swelling was too noticeable and I ended up in A&E where they wanted to put me on IV antibiotics. I refused but walked into a dentist surgery, broke down and made an appointment for the week after to give the oral Abs time to heal the infection. The staff were brilliant.

i went for my appointment but I had to literally force myself to go. I was a wreck but he was a lovely man. I ended up having two root canals on my upper left side and several fillings. All was well for a year or so until one of the teeth with a root canal shattered and I'd to go back. I found that my lovely dentist had moved to a sister practice and had been replaced by a lady dentist. She deemed that both teeth with RC we're not savable and recommended extractions and a partial denture. The impressions were made that day. I was 32 by this point. The shame of it!

My partial acrylic denture was ready the day of extraction. I think in the 14 years since I got it I've worn it for only the first couple of months. It felt the size of a shoe in my mouth. I gagged every time I tried to put it in. I was actually sick on two occasions. I visited a private denture type place who took one look and said that my dentist was fobbing me off....there were much better fitting and better quality dentures available on the NHS and I should go back to her and tell her so. He quoted me about £600 for a metal one with clasps but to try my dentist first which I did. I was met with such derision I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Apparently, there was no alternative denture...the only other option, she said, would be implants which she also said I couldn't possibly afford. She was right but a tad presumptuous, I think! Basically, I could put up or shut up. Given the choice of having the equivalent of a fist in my mouth making me vom or not temporarily eating or smiling until I sorted an alternative out, the partials have been tucked away in the recesses of my mind and my wardrobe for 14 years. I didn't go back to that dentist either.

fast forward to now aged v nearly 46. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I have been immensely lucky not to have had any major problems until now, but I'm in a bit of a pickle. A broken tooth has led to an infection in my lower right 2nd premolar and guess what? No dentist! Started mid June with pain....I use the word pain lightly as it was bloody excruciating...by far and away worse than any of the others combined but it came and went. Thank God for otc ibuprofen and codeine! Last week I approached a dentist....I've been meaning to do it for sometime to get my missing teeth sorted but the pain forced me into action. I called one that a friend uses and was asked to visit to complete a registration form. I registered but was told that I was on a waiting list and it would be two weeks before they contacted me with an appointment. I explained the pain and was advised to call 111 if the pain got bad (?)....that surgery can actually take 3 emergency cases each evening. This was Tuesday last week. On Wednesday in the early hours, it was clear this had gone passed toothache and I was obviously dying. I called 111 at 6am and was advised a dental nurse would call me back between 7.30 and 9.30 am with an emergency appointment. She did....for Friday at 11am...a full 48 hours away at a practice in the next village. The surgery I'd registered at on Tuesday didn't have any appointments until the following Monday. So much for 3 emergency appointments each evening!

from Wednesday to Friday I didn't sleep. On Friday morning, I dragged myself there, quaking and shaking. I was mortified when he started with the '8 missing 7 missing 6 missing blah blah blah". He xrayed it, filled it with something, gave me a script for amoxicillin, charged me £20.60 and sent me on my way. Now go find a dentist he said because that's going to have to come out. It's not worth saving. And you can't come here unless you're private. Or an emergency. Excellent.

You would think that I would have learned from each abscess, each mouthful of broken teeth, each course of abs, each extraction, to save myself the trauma and anguish and get it sorted before the damage is too great..mais non. I appear to think it will go away or I'll go next week if it still hurts and that it's clearly better to writh around in absolute agony for weeks or months or years instead of getting treatment. I must also think it's easier to cover my mouth with my hand when I smile to hide the missing teeth, to eat crap because I can't chew properly, to drink more alcohol than I should because I forget how much weight I've put on by comfort eating or to hide how ugly I feel and give me more confidence around other people and also to not admit how depressed it's all made me. Bizarre isn't it to go through all that? It isn't just about pain and missing teeth...parts of me are also missing and I'm sure that's the same for many other people in similar situations. I am determined to get me back this time....even with partial acrylic dentures. Dear God...nooooooo

thank you for reading!

Hi K9,

it it made me so sad to read your post. I totally understand everything you're telling us about. I've had very similar experiences myself, including the pink slips-horrific!

I know it's so hard to go the dentist especially when you feel ashamed and afraid of the treatment. The thing is, you're probably in pain much of the time now, and dental pain won't be anything like as bad as the pain you've been having. Try to look online for a dentist that has good reviews, one that is great with anxious patients and make an appointment. Don't hesitate any longer, even though you probably feel demoralized and afraid. It's understandable, but don't give into the fear and the feeling of defeatism. Keep thinking of how good you will feel when you have all the treatment done-your mouth will be healthier, you'll be able to talk, eat and smile better than you can now! It's a burden to carry round with you this pain and shame, and you deserve better right? It's definitely possible. I am going through my dental makeover at the moment and there have been a few bumps in the road but I'm getting there and this forum is so supportive and the people so kind, it's wonderful!

All the best, I hope you decide to go forward with your plans for dental work.
 
I am so grateful for these replies and so sorry I didn’t come back to the thread. In the end I saw a lovely dentist who recommended a root canal and another partial denture and that too was relegated to the wardrobe. That was also the last time I saw a dentist. And I’m really annoyed with myself all over again as the root canal tooth broke last Christmas, thanks to a toffee Quality Street, and because I hadn’t seen a dentist since 2019, I’ve been de-registered and can’t find an NHS one. You’d really think I’d learn, wouldn’t you? I haven’t. I could partially blame the pandemic for it but I know it’s all down to me.

Thanks again for your replies.
 
@K-9 I just read through your old thread up to your recent comment. I was searching for threads with mention of dentures and yours popped up. I can relate to your story. I wait until things are an emergency and then end up losing another tooth. I'm 52 years old and hoping to stop this before I end up with full dentures and none of my own teeth. I've lost 8 teeth in addition to my wisdom teeth - one became urgent in December and two that I knew needed to come out for more than a year were finally extracted two weeks ago. I have no molars on the bottom and am missing a pre-molar as well. The other three are on top and now I have two that are in danger. If I could save them, I could avoid an upper partial denture for a while, but it's not looking good. I suppose the bottom partial will be difficult enough to tolerate. Are you going to be trying to get back in to a dentist again soon?
 
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