Off I go...

[frostgirl]

Oh man! I hope you're not but in case you are my advice is to accept it. No experience will ever be perfect. If you feel too anxious to go through with it, step away, if you feel brave enough to go ahead, go ahead but with caution. Monitor yourself. Try some breathing exercises. Have you heard of Headspace? It's this amazing app for meditation that is really really good, they do short 3 min exercises. I had to go for a check up at my dentist and I tried some of the techniques they taught (slowing breathing, focussing on breath, body scanning etc.) and it worked actually!

When you're in the room try to go as slow as you can - go only as quickly as you feel able to. Know that it will all only be transient and you will leave the room again soon. Tell the guy you're nervous and DO NOT consent to anything you do not feel comfortable with.

I know it's easy for me to say, not being in your position, but my best advice is to keep calm. I use the tactic of keeping calm in the room then dealing with the anxiety when I come out... probably not the most healthy way of coping. Oh well.

Ask questions and keep informed. Know that you are incredibly brave. When you're out, collect yourself and calmly make your way home - any influxes of emotion could be bad if you're driving/cycling. Sorry - I'm just telling you what I'd do.

You may be nervous but you are also brave. Keep an eye on your mood and know when to step back. You got this

Thanks hatemyself. I'll download Headspace and try it.

I will definitely try all of your tips. I tend to keep my anxiety bottled up anyway, so I appear fine but on the inside I'm a nervous wreck.

Thanks for the advice

I've just got to actually ring and make the appointment now.

 

[frostgirl]

I didn't manage to ring and make an appointment today. I'll dialled the number into my phone but I couldn't press call. I'll try again tomorrow.

I'm trying not to think something is wrong, but I still get a nagging thought thinking something is wrong. But I won't know until I go and see a dentist. I'm still worried that when I do go, and I explain what's worrying me, that they'll find nothing's wrong and I'm being silly. I know they won't, as they were all really nice when I went in October.

 

[frostgirl]

I didn't manage to ring yesterday either. If I want to find out if anything's wrong, hopefully there isn't, I'm going to need to make an appointment. I'm going to have to wait till Monday now to make an appointment. I am doing the right thing, aren't I?

I've got myself worried sick about all of this.

 

[Enarete]

You are absolutely doing the right thing, nothing than the right thing and the only right thing. Well done on keeping trying to call, I know how hard it is and I know you will get through that. By the way, my favorite option is to calling them at night or at the weekend when nobody can pick up, that's a good exercise for the start.

Slow and steady wins the race, you know? You are anxious, the whole thing is not easy, but you keep and keep and keep on trying and sooner or later, you will get there.

Keep keeping us posted

 

[frostgirl]

You are absolutely doing the right thing, nothing than the right thing and the only right thing. Well done on keeping trying to call, I know how hard it is and I know you will get through that. By the way, my favorite option is to calling them at night or at the weekend when nobody can pick up, that's a good exercise for the start.

Slow and steady wins the race, you know? You are anxious, the whole thing is not easy, but you keep and keep and keep on trying and sooner or later, you will get there.

Keep keeping us posted

Thank you for the kind and supportive words, Enarete

I'm definitely going to try calling on Monday, I'm going to try and calm down for the rest of today and tomorrow. I might try your idea though.

I will get there, I know, I did it before, I can do it again.

 

[hatemyself]

Just wanted to say, frostgirl, you are doing great. If putting in the number to the dentist but not pressing call is all you can manage right now, don't even worry about that. Even doing that takes guts. Well done. Take it one small step at a time...

 

[frostgirl]

I didn't get time today to even try and ring to make an appointment. I had a week off work last week, and I went back to work today. I am exhausted. I'm going to try and ring on Wednesday and make an appointment.

 

[frostgirl]

I felt alright today to actually ring but I froze and just stared at the number again. I'm going to try and focus on staying calm and try again this afternoon. I hate making phone calls so this is making it worse for me.

 

[frostgirl]

Well after half an hour of psyching myself up to ring and make an appointment, the phone just kept ringing and no one picked it up. I checked to see what time they're open until today and they don't close until 6pm so why is no one answering :/

Edit: I hindsight I realise that they were probably busy and not able to answer the phone

 

[frostgirl]

I still haven't managed to ring and make an appointment. I'm overthinking everything lately and I can't seem to be able to do it. I'll try tomorrow

 

[Enarete]

frostgirl, this seems to be a really huge hurdle for you, so sorry to hear that.. and you even had the courage to ring them once and no one picked up, what a pity!

I was wondering if splitting it into smaller steps would be any helpful - how about to just make the intention to dial the number but hang on before it even rings and to do that every day? Just this, no calling, no talking.. maybe if you do it for few days, you eventually will find it easier to finally talk to them. Or calling them every outside of their opening hours just to get desensitized to the dialing?
Or if even the dialing is too stressful, you could just type the number into your phone and not dial.. just whatever step seems to be challenging enough but not too difficult.

However, even if you'll need months to call them, you are on your way and that's the most important thing. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and resting assured that you, sooner or later will manage to call them

 

[frostgirl]

Thanks Enarete

I think I've just been stressed lately and it's making my anxiety worse, so doing something like ringing someone is pretty stressful for me at the minute. I'm definitely going to try your tips though

 

[frostgirl]

I need to vent.

My mind is in full panic mode lately. I'm making myself sick with anxiety and giving myself a headache most days when I think too much about it. I keep thinking the same thoughts I had before my appointment last year, that I'm going to lose all my teeth. But I know that I'm not going to. Aside from the problem with my wisdom tooth, my teeth have been really sensitive lately, and I can't tell whether it's from clenching my teeth in my sleep or from eating too many sugary foods. I don't know why I'm getting so worked up over it as the pain or sensitivity doesn't last long, a few minutes at the most. I'm paranoid something is serious wrong with my teeth and that they missed it at my last appointment. I know the only way to settle my worries is to actually go but I can't even make an appointment. I did dial the number yesterday but I couldn't ring. I'll try again on Monday.

It's just being stressed out over this, and something else in my life is making my worries and anxiety go up to the max.

Argh why can't I be like a normal person and just make a phone call. Though saying that, I forced myself to answer the phone twice today at work. I hate answering phones as well but at least at work I have mini script to follow. I suppose I could write down what I want to say before I ring. I might actually try that.

 

[Enarete]

Argh why can't I be like a normal person and just make a phone call.

I know that what you are going through right now doesn't feel normal at all, but it's actually not too unusual. You have dental anxiety and you only have had one positive experience recently and that was several months ago. It's normal that your anxiety is worse now and that you are falling back into the old habitual negative thoughts. The less positive experiences you have had and the more time passes between the visits, the worse the anxiety gets. Also, if there are other stressful things going on in your life right now, it is very normal for your anxiety to get worse. So do not bee too hard on yourself and keep celebrating the small steps you have done.
Dialing the number is a progress, well done for that. And also for answering the phone at work.

 

[frostgirl]

Thanks Enarete, sorry for the late reply.

They've sent another reminder to make an appointment today. It's been a month since they sent the first one and I've put it off for all that time. I'm going to try to ring tomorrow. I've got to be brave and do it, and going again will help lessen my anxiety and be another positive experience (hopefully).

I'll hopefully manage to ring tomorrow to make an appointment. Will update tomorrow.

 

[frostgirl]

I tried. I couldn't do it. I did manage to dial the number a few times before backing out and not ringing. Argh.

I'll try again tomorrow.

 

[frostgirl]

I think everyone is probably sick of me now, but I tried ringing again today. I had worked myself up again as I've been having a lot of discomfort/sometimes pain, from all of my wisdom teeth (including the one that hasn't come through yet). I accepted the fact that I will have to go to the dentist at some point. So I felt calm enough to ring and make an appointment. And I backed out at the last minute again. How come I managed to ring and make an appointment last year, but now the thought of even doing so is getting me worked up and panicked? I only have to be on the phone for what, five minutes? But the thought of that is filling me with dread and anxiety.

I'm getting myself worked up over the what ifs. What if I do go and I find out I need my wisdom teeth removed? I've never had an anaesthetic before, what does it feel like? What if it doesn't work? What if I have a panic attack? What will happen?

I'm getting myself so worked up about this that it's giving me a stress headache most days. Why do I always have to over think everything?

 

[Enarete]

I think everyone is probably sick of me now, but I tried ringing again today.

Absolutely not! I was actually wondering if it was a good idea to send some encouragement in the last days because I know that you are trying and keeping going and that it's not easy... well I didn't because I didn't want you to be sick of me, I thought maybe you just wish some peace for few days..

Thinking of you and sending good vibes. Be kind to you, you are doing your best and as soon as you are ready, the call will work.

By the way, krlovesherkids777 has some great tips about how to deal with 'what if's', hope she will share.

Try not to worry about anesthetics, that's too far - you first need and appointment and even then it doesn't have to be a treatment right away. We can talk about the rest later

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Frost girl..

OH I can so identify.. first to just sit and stare at the phone to make an appt.. and would say.. ok on break I will do it.. then I couldn't , then ok. on lunch.. then .. ok tomorrow.. and it really is hard to make that step of calling. Its stepping out of your comfort zone and one step closer to the chair.. and I know for me having anxiety part of it is fear of rejection.. and I would even fear that the dentist or staff would not want me to call or reject me somehow which is totally untrue. but very real to me..

Anyways. one day.. I was thinking all those what ifs.. omg.. like terrible. like what if they switch the dentist on me and give me one I don't know..? what if something is dropped and I choke, what if they thought I was just awful and worst teeth ever, what if.. I had my whole mouth of teeth gone and in full dentures in my thoughts. then I thought.. BuT.. WHAT.. if I call and they are very kind to me and reassure me and help ease my anxiety. What if the dentist doesn't hate me or reject me and I can learn to have a trusting relationship with a dentist who cares and wants the best for me ? What if they show me I have alot less to fear than I think..? What if my prognosis and what needs to be done is alot less ? What if the dentist does not judge me but has compassion and does not shame me at all?

Well. For you.. it could be.. What if you go and find out you don't need the teeth removed at all ? and what if you did? but your dentist was an expert and you didn't feel a thing and overcame your fear of anesthetic? What if your dentist was so careful you didn't even know what was happening? What if you had a dentist that knew how to put you to ease where you didn't have a panic attack but felt calm ? What if you did but you got the opportunity to learn there are compassionate professionals to help you through even if you did.. ? sound idealistic..? maybe.. but. I can tell you .. I have finally have the positive what ifs come true and I want to encourage others they can too!

I know.... its hard... we are all here for you.. no matter if it takes 100 times to call .. no matter if you go 5x and even chicken out.. one step at a time. you can do it and when you do you will see it can be worth it.. no matter what . we're here. .

 

[frostgirl]

Absolutely not! I was actually wondering if it was a good idea to send some encouragement in the last days because I know that you are trying and keeping going and that it's not easy... well I didn't because I didn't want you to be sick of me, I thought maybe you just wish some peace for few days..

Thinking of you and sending good vibes. Be kind to you, you are doing your best and as soon as you are ready, the call will work.

By the way, krlovesherkids777 has some great tips about how to deal with 'what if's', hope she will share.

Try not to worry about anesthetics, that's too far - you first need and appointment and even then it doesn't have to be a treatment right away. We can talk about the rest later

I would never be sick of you Enarete! You're so helpful and supportive.

Thanks for your kind words, it means a lot to me. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, the first thing I've got to do is make an appointment. That's all I've got to think about. I'm just getting ahead of myself.