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OMG I did it... Now what?

H

HoneyNow

Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2015
Messages
21
Long time reader, first time poster..

This board was here for me when I needed to keep going. There were horrible nights I considered taking my own life... the pain and overwhelming-ness of the alternative (getting dental treatment) seemed less terrible.. I came here and read everything, kept going for that one more day, called a hotline, whatever it took, every day I do it again. I quit smoking after 30 years to do this... cause that's the least I can try first.

This is what happened to me.. This time. I started in May with some lower extractions and bone graphs. I had only 4 left after that on the bottom. upper healed for 12 years.

Five days ago I had the last of the lower removed, more bone graphing and the.. "pieces" .. I'm having alot of trouble processing that there are foreign objects in my bone, I really hope when the swelling is gone I can't feel them!!!

Anyway.... and the implants put in for the lower, and the temp lower denture put in over all that. I did not have any work done on the top. I got the top denture (standard removable) and I'll decide later if I need to have the bone shaving done. I did not want to heal both top and bottom at once. I could not afford and really didn't want to have implants top and bottom.

I tried to prepare myself for all the feelings I've read about.. that are totally normal.. but I wasn't ready emotionally and it's been really hard to process the mental aspects of all this.

Everyone seems confused that I'm not excited.. but I'm sad and scared and there's no room for excited.. I hope that changes in the coming days so I can continue to share for someone else..

I knew I would need to learn to talk again, and that it would be uncomfortable to get used to the pieces, I didn't know I wouldn't' be able to take them out and talk .... like I did with my bad teeth... I know I spent years learning to talk with them.. but I could barely talk on the phone today with neither piece in..

I knew I would need to have a strong body to withstand the surgery and the recovery.. I didn't know how terrible the antibiotics would be... or how hard it would be to eat anything...

I knew I wouldn't be having steak but even toast is a struggle.. soaked in tea for goodness sake..

The area under my tongue is swollen and bright red, it hurts like nothing I've ever felt. My chin looks like Jay Leno... it's a bit better today but jeez...

I called the DrM (deals with only the appliances) at 8 this morning and got in at 11. He took some off the bottom and said the stitches look ok. He'll call DrB (surgeon) and let him know I'm struggling.. I'll still see him on Thursday for another reshaping. I get the stitches out next week with DrB...

Why not dissolving stitches I wonder?? How am I going to lay there and get stitches out?? UGHHH

What the heck happened under my tongue?

How can I miss four .. not so great.. teeth?

My BFF says I look great, my mom cried... how can I still think I made a mistake? :confused:

44 YO F
 
carole

carole

Super Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2012
Messages
7,914
Location
UK
Hi :welcome:to the forum.

Congratulations :jump::jump::jump::jump::jump::jump::jump: on having all the work done on your mouth. I can understand how you are feeling. You will in time get used to the changes in your mouth. I had just one tooth on a denture at the bottom front of my mouth and you wouldn't believe the pain and ulcers I got under my tongue. So much so it felt like I had a sore throat. You have had so much more work done than I did, so I can understand the pain and terrible soreness you are feeling.

I hope that one day soon you are happy with the treatment you have had done and can enjoy the results. I am putting you a link in here, it might have something in there that will give you something different to eat besides soggy toast http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/showthread.php?17842-What-to-eat-or-not-after-extraction
http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/showthread.php?19304-GRUB!-(The-Soft-Foods-Cookbook)

All the best to you :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::butterfly:
 
H

HoneyNow

Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2015
Messages
21
Checking in from CampDontWannaGo... Thank you all again for these boards. I think it's the only place you can get some honesty. TW's story I've followed and I can't even fathom the strength it's taking to keep going. I'm experiencing loss during my process so I can only imagine her struggle and hope I can be a fraction as successful. Right now I feel like I'll never make it.

so I went. First reline with drM was hellish. I sobbed all the way there (all day really) and the entire time. They are really understanding but it's so hard. He touched all over my wounds, assured me my tongue isn't broke. I swear it is.... The incision doesn't bother me unless I'm eating or drinking, which im doing very little of, the soreness in my tongue is killing me.

He he called over to drB even though it's another week to get the stitches out... It feels like bone graph is trying to come out every time I put the lower in. DrB does a much better job ignoring my crying, he's a real sadist, drM only does appliances and dabs up the tears before they run in my ears, he's very kind.

drB tells me now that it's actually two weeks to feel like I'm not dying, instead of the one I was told at the beginning... Yet says my incision looks two weeks healed.. Wtf... Told me to use heat now.. Why have I been using ice? I checked my discharge and only said ice... Why did I have to be seen as an emergency to find that out?? Jeezzzzzzz

i still can't talk, even with the lower out. I thought worse case I could still function without the lower, but I cant. I can't even talk on the phone. It was terrifying when I tried to call my bank, she couldn't understand me -sob-

he stopped the antibiotic so maybe now I can get some GI peace, try to start eating. I feel so bad. Horrible leg cramps, my neck and shoulders are so stiff and sore. My right side (both DrS stand on that side) is so locked up after yesterday I must have spent the entire time clenched up, I can't even life my arm :(

DrB did finally explain what's wrong with my tounge... To get the skin to cover the posts and bone graph and holes where he remove the teeth in front, he had to pull up the skin under my tongue with the stitches. Said there's alot of tension under and it will take time to stretch.. It does actually help to know I'm not crazy... Don't understand why I wasn't told that when I went Monday certain my tongue was broken.

i haven't had the nerve to look yet, do ya'll look at the work in your mouth?

Im still having trouble looking in the mirror with them in.. How am I going to learn to talk.. He doesn't want me to wear the lower for 3 days so the tongue can rest. I can't talk without it.

on a positive note, the upper seems fine. Surgeon said won't need the aveoplasty. I'm so grateful I did not need any top work. I had all that was left there removed 12 years ago, by a horrible dentist. The immediate upper was terrible. I never went back... I didn't know he was removing all of them or about the upper. Woke up at home so betrayed it's tsken this long to try again.

i knew what was happening this time but didn't realize how much those 4 lousy teeth helped me talk.

sorry for the rant, breaks up the crying .... This is absurd, my face is chapped..

Gave up smokes, don't drink, out of pain pills, my lover chocolate sneers at me from the shelf.. I'm starving.. This has to get better somehow, I can't keep on like this.
 
carole

carole

Super Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2012
Messages
7,914
Location
UK
Hi I am sorry to read that you are still feeling terrible. I haven't been in your position and I don't know how I would deal with it. I do think you are doing all you can at the moment and I hope you get out of pain soon. I had a partial denture put in on the bottom a couple of months ago and I know how sore it made my mouth feel even under my tongue. That was nothing like the work you have had done so I can only imagine how sore and painful it is.

There isn't much I can say to make you feel better but if it is helping to come on here and write and rant to get it out of your system then feel free. I just want you to know that I am reading this and you have my sympathy and understanding on how you feel. I am sure others are reading your thread and cheering you on too, not everyone has anything to say when we read peoples threads.

It may be helping a lot of people we aren't even aware are reading this you know so THANK YOU for taking the time to write about your experiences down and share :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::butterfly:
 
H

HoneyNow

Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2015
Messages
21
Thank you so much... I really appreciate your encouragement, I'm not getting much at home :(

the physical pain is hard, my mouth is betrayed, my tongue in revolt!!! It's the mental I'm really having trouble with... I talked to a loved one who is a healer and bit of a free spirit..

She explained the physical like this:

most of your brain is consumed with routines and it likes that .. A lot.. Swallowing, moving the tongue to speak, breathing, blinking, processing sensory info, it hates change. It wants to repeat comfortable actions again and again.

When it can not do that, it's shocked and upset. The tongue has more nerves than the fingers, it has to become used to the new "landscape". Meanwhile the brain is in panic trying to process all the new information, to learn the routines for this new info from the tongue.

So feeling like I want to lay in the dark and quiet is because my brain is super busy and doesn't want tv or games or especially talking!!!!!!!

i told her the truth, I feel like I'm dying and not because my poor tongue is so abused, but I don't know what it is... I am scared to go back for the stitches, I do hate that I remember so much, but there's something else making me cry.

she explained it like this (I'm not 100% bought in but it may help someone..)

you are not dying, you are dead, the person you were, with those four teeth is gone, that knew how to chew and talk that way, she's dead, you are at the funeral luncheon, it's over. That person is gone forever, you are being born a new person, different than you were.

Grieve as much as you need to, all the good, talking the way you knew, and the bad, pain and sickness. Then be born...

It's painful yes, but learn to eat and drink, to talk, own every bit of your whole mouth now.

She said by the time my brain figured out how to process everything, my tongue will stretch and I will be a new person.

then she reminded me of my c section 27 years ago, I called her after that too. I wailed that this wasn't what I expected, I was not sweetly holding my baby after a reasonable labor and delivery. I was racked with pain, I couldn't even hold him after 26 hours of labor and I was totally defeated. I had METAL in my skin, holding together a huge incision. I was so betrayed and focused on my unmet expectations that I couldn't process the reality of what was me now.

I said YEAH!!! That's what's happening to me!!! She was silent...

I believed then that it would never get better but it did, I healed, learned how to sneeze again..

She said that's going to happen this time too.....
 
H

HoneyNow

Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2015
Messages
21
I've read your story many times. I thought of you and bugz and TW while I was in the chair and every day since. I wanted to have an experience like that.

i still can't talk. I could live with not being able to eat and the pain I still have if only I could speak.

i should have been back to work, I have volunteer obligations I have to get out of because I need to be able to talk :(
 
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