One week until my appointment and terrified!

[Troublesometeeth]

Hello everyone. Some might remember me from a couple of months ago. I was experiencing daily pain with my teeth and having to take the maximum dose of ibuprofen and paracetamol 3 times a day.
It's been 7 weeks without pain. I had been waiting on a referral to a dentist in a city 2 hours away where they can put me right to sleep with narcos. Well I finally got an appointment for next week.
Ever since getting this appointment I've been waking up with anxiety. I am so afraid of this appointment and thinking that I will inevitibly throw up. I have a severe phobia of vomiting and an extremely sensitive gag reflex.

I don't know what to do at this point. I'm so close to cancelling this appointment and accepting eating nothing but mushed down food for the rest of my life. I can't eat solid foods I enjoy anymore. I know that isn't the way I want to live my life, but I cannot get rid of this unrelenting fear. If I don't go I'll be a disappointment, not only to myself but maybe to my boyfriend too because he's watched me suffer on and off with my teeth for years now.

I've been planning to call the dentist and talk about the issue but I've been too afraid to pick up that phone and even make that call. I see people saying all the time "if I can do it then you definitely can!" but I don't feel that way at all about my situation. I don't feel at all that I have the strength or courage to face this and see it through.

 

[Sol]

You have taken the first steps which are the hardest, take some pride in that. Before my first appointment years ago I had nightmares for a week prior. It's difficult, but try not to dwell on negative thoughts or worries. If your imagination goes wild with worry, try to think of positive aspects of what will happen when you go to the appointment (you will be able to eat the foods you like again, be pain free, faced your fear, etc.).

If its too hard to call, is it possible to email the practice with your concerns?

 

[kitkat]

It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to go through with this appointment. It’s ok to feel terrified. If you didn’t feel that way, you probably wouldn’t be on this forum. Unfortunately, many people don’t feel very strong until after they’ve done it and get some positive forward momentum. Getting started is the absolute hardest step because you have no good experiences to reference. Is there somebody who could call for you and explain the situation? Maybe you could write down what you want them to tell the office for you if you are unable to email the office.

 

[Shakinginmyboots]

I agree with Sol, think of the positives of eating again and living pain free. It is awesome you could find a sedation dentistry place, concentrate on that, how you won’t feel a thing.

 

[Troublesometeeth]

Hi guys.
I called this morning and explained to the nurse at the reception a little bit and asked if I could speak with the dentist who will be examining me. She'll call back either this afternoon or next week. After I did this I had a therapy session so I went there and cried for a while and let it all out. I try to think of the positives, of being able to eat again etc, but all the time I've got this lump in throat anxiety which feels like I'm gonna gag any moment, and if I ever do gag it goes right to my stomach and I feel the violent urge to throw up, which of course is my biggest fear. I try to think "I can't wait to eat pizza again and be able to eat normally" and then my mind goes into "what if I throw up before going to the dentist from anxiety?" "What if I throw up in the office while talking to her?" "What if I throw up if I try to let her look inside my mouth?" "What if I have the procedure and wake up and throw up?" It's a nightmare going around and around like that every single time. Then of course mental images come and I start to ruminate that that will happen. It goes around and around like that and I can think of nothing else no matter how hard I try. I'm going to try and explain this for her when she calls and just hope that we can find a way to get me through this.

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Hi,

Sorry to hear about the distress you are experiencing. The period before a dental appointment which is the hardest. Please understand that there is a great difference between thinking about something and actually doing it, between imagining going to the dentist than actually going. This waiting period is also characterized by what I call “the uncertainty factor”. I have made a short video about it, I hope it can help:

It is great that you want to share with the dentist who will see you about yourself and your needs. I talk about this also in the video about how to choose the right dentist who is good with fearful patients.

All the best,
Daniel

 

[Judythecat]

I am not afraid of the dentist, but have a HUGE fear of being sick, and a sensitive gag reflex, so I completely empathise. I have always gone for checkups, and in the last couple of years had a number of treatments done, and I can honestly say, hand on heart, the only time I have ever gagged is during x-rays. I have never actually thrown up, and my dentist has been completely non-plussed, very sympathetic, and kind.

I think as patients we sometimes under-estimate what dentists and other medical professionals see every single day. My friend once farted during a cervical smear, and was DYING of embarrassment - in reality I bet the nurse has that happen a lot, and took it in her stride!

I really hope the dentist can reassure you, and that you are able to go to the appointment feeling okay. I would be willing to bet money that you won’t throw up, and that in the absolute worst case scenario, the dentist would be sympathetic and supportive.

 

[PurpleRain]

troublesometeeth,

you sound JUST like me! i completely relate; i also have a huge fear of vomiting and a sensitive gag reflex, along with a small mouth. my parents never took me to the dentist as a kid, and as an adult, despite several painful abscesses, i still didn't go. i was too terrified of vomiting, and by then also too embarrassed at how bad my teeth were and how i'd never seen a dentist in my life. i had the same thoughts as you: "what if i throw up", "what if i gag and can't stop" etc etc etc UGH the thoughts never &$@$ quit!

finally, in late 2017, after months, maybe years of being loose, my bottom front tooth fell out and the one next to it was about to follow suit. it took me another month to work up the courage to make an appointment. it was the hardest but BEST thing i've ever done. at 39, i went to the dentist for the first time, and that is so embarrassing to say, but it was such a relief. last year i had multiple teeth extracted and bone grafted, a month ago i had a couple more extracted and a ridge augmentation, and i'm still not done. add in routine cleanings and fillings and that's dozens and dozens of appointments, and i'm still scared before every single one, and yes i've gagged at at most of them...it sucks, but it stopped, i didn't throw up (ok, i don't eat before my appointments) i didn't die, and the dentists and assistants act like they see it all the time (they probably do!). i now have a set of temporary partial dentures that look so cute and i can eat without pain. i love pizza too and i hadn't been able bite with my loose front teeth for so long!

like dr. daniel said, for me the time before an appt is way worse than the actual appt. i admire your bravery for not only making an appointment but also explaining your fears to the nurse. i still haven't spelled out my fears like that to anyone (except here i hope you get a dental team that can make you as comfortable as possible and you're on the other side of your first appointment soon, AND that you can eat pizza soon!

 

[Troublesometeeth]

Thank you all for your replies and support.
PurpleRain, what a journey you've had in particular! After 39 years, that's an astounding accomplishment! When you talk about that you have gagged at most of your appointments is that with sedation or laughing gas? Because they're talking about trying me with those methods first but I'm adamant that, just put me to sleep so I don't get traumatized and you can do your job without me kicking up a fuss! I have to have several teeth removed, fillings, cleanings and maybe even bone graft since the decay has gone so far down it feels, but I don't know for absolute sure. It's the uncertainty of it all.

Thank you Dr Daniel, I'll watch the videos! You're right it is always worse the time leading up to the appointment. When I was there last time I left with great disappointment that I couldn't go further and do more. I cried a heck of a lot at that appointment but in the grand scheme of things, the x-ray was over quickly. It was uncomfortable and even then all I did was bite on a tiny plastic thing. Nothing was inserted in to my mouth. Having said that, I couldn't position my tongue down at the bottom of my mouth without feeling the urge to gag so that was unpleasant.
I'd much rather take the risk at having narcos than to go through any sort of trauma..

 

[PurpleRain]

When you talk about that you have gagged at most of your appointments is that with sedation or laughing gas?

no, i haven’t had any nitrous or sedation, although i’ve read that either cuts down on the gag reflex a lot. i asked about it before my extractions last year and my dentist thought i didn’t need it so i just trusted his judgement.

 

[Troublesometeeth]

If anything will change my mind about this appointment and cancelling it, it's today.
I have been having to blend my food down every day for 2 months. I did this as normal today and started eating when... boom! The worst toothache I have ever had! I have a wisdom tooth growing under my back left molar and it has broken the molar as a result. These 'unwisdom' teeth have wreaked havoc on my mouth. The pain was so bad I almost passed out and I was screaming for 30 minutes. It's hours since then and all of my gums and teeth ache, almost like a 'teething' pain. It hurts in my left ear and I feel super lethargic. I've had this feeling before many times.

I'm calling the dentist tomorrow morning and requesting that upon arrival they put me to sleep, xray me and remove the wisdom teeth and any others. I cannot do this anymore.

 

[PurpleRain]

i'm so sorry you are in so much pain! i think for a lot of people with dental fear, it takes something worse than whatever we're scared of (gagging, embarrassment, etc) to finally make the leap and go to the dentist. at least that's how it was for me. being in pain and having to eat only blended food is no way to live!

i hope you make it through your appointment and are out of pain soon. wishing you lots of strength (and some good drugs, if needed)

 

[Troublesometeeth]

Hi everyone.
So I went to the appointment. It went really good and they were so professional. We sat in an office, not in the dentists room itself. I think not sleeping during the night definitely helped to dampen my anxiety. When I got there I gave them a detailed letter of my issues which they read through and have kept on file. We sat and talked about some options I could take other than just General Anaesthetic. There's a medicine called Midazolam (Swedish) I don't know the equivalent, but it's a calming medicine and if used together with nitrous oxide it can make you much less aware. The waiting list for surgery can be really long, maybe up to a year. I can keep working with this current dentist if I wish to or I can get the procedure done at the local dentist (I live next door to them). I'd opt for going closer to home except the dentists in the town 3 hours away were SO good and professional and helped me to feel better about the whole thing.

I have a lot of thinking to do. I didn't manage to let him look in my mouth, which I was and still am sad about because I really wanted to push for that that day, but we went to the dentist room with the chair, I sat in a regular chair and he felt either side of my face. Unfortunately my gag reflex was being triggered by my anxiety. I didn't actually gag but I knew if I had tried to open my mouth for him to look it would have started up. They looked at the xrays and said it doesn't look as though I have any abscesses and they see no sign of infection from the outside, no swelling etc. They calmed me immediately when I explained my concern over adverse health issues, such as heart and brain issues from rotten teeth. They said that I'm nowhere near in that stage so I can stop worrying about that right away. They said there's a lot of work to be done, 6 teeth will need to be removed (4 wisdom 2 broken) and then fillings and other work.

I guess for future appointments I'll just go in a sleep deprived state
I hope that in the next couple or few months I'll be able to get all of my teeth issues sorted.
Thanks for being here!

 

[Dg6300]

Well done. You took a big step today.

 

[Dg6300]

In addition to the courage you demonstrated (bravo ?), be sure to remember that you are now much closer to enjoying some of this stuff:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza

This is your future, my friend.

You can insert photos into these posts. We hope to see a photo of your first pizza, when the time is right.

?