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Only 2 more days until my appointment

shamrockerin

shamrockerin

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New Hampshire, USA
I was doing OK before, mostly because I was so distracted with wedding stuff (only 6 weeks to go) that I managed not to think about it much.

But today I noticed my cell phone had a voice mail, and when I checked it, it was the receptionist calling to confirm my appointment at 8:50 am on Monday.:(

Since then, the usual panic has set in. Heart racing, jelly legs, freezing up,digging my nails into my arms, barely able to speak with the knowledge of impending needles. . .On top of that, I have the additional panic of having sent my letter to the dentist, explaining some of my past experiences and the reasons for my anxiety. I know that these are my last fillings, and that means that i cannot escape the dreaded RCT discussion again.

My last appointment didn't really go well. . .and I am so nervous about that letter. I assume he received it, but will he tell me he did? Will he ask me anything about it? Was he totally weirded out by it? I have no idea what to expect in regard to this stupid letter.

Plus, I need a filling on a lower wisdom tooth, and I read that injections for the lower back teeth "prick" a little more. . .even though I've already had 4 appointments for fillings, I am always nervous about the injections because I am just waiting for one to be really painful. . .

All of this stuff is piling up on me now. It seems a little overwhelming, and I am very worried that I am going to :cry: if he talks about the RCT again, which he probably will b/c all the fillings will be done, and it'll be time to move on to the next phase.

I really wish i could cancel this appointment, but the office is closed until Monday, which is when my appointment is.
 
Aldridge

Aldridge

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"My last appointment didn't really go well. . .and I am so nervous about that letter. I assume he received it, but will he tell me he did? Will he ask me anything about it? Was he totally weirded out by it? I have no idea what to expect in regard to this stupid letter."

You and me both! We are sharing the same boat. Last time I went to our dentist was a year ago, for a check-up and he did some cleaning. It didn't go well. I just couldn't settle somehow, he seemed a bit rushed (running late) and he had a new assistant who wasn't very adept with the water suction. I had to swallow twice; it was either that or a mega-choking fit and that made me almost panic. I pulled away a bit - couldn't help it - and he thought he'd hurt me, and apologised to me. I felt so guilty about that (no dentist has ever said sorry to me before! and he wasn't the one who should have done!) that I sent him a letter saying it wasn't his fault. I said I'd had a bit of a sore throat and swallowing made me wince. (Not the truth, but I didn't want to say it was feeling like I was drowning that did it!) I have my next check-up on Wednesday and I keep thinking, will he have my letter in with my records, will he mention it, will he think I'm really weird? All this in addition to the usual nerves...I know just how you feel. I'm spending half my day in the bathroom at the moment and the other half functioning like a zombie. A shaking, jellified zombie.
Please post how you get on on Monday! I will be right there with you in spirit! I hope it all goes really well for you. I don't (so far) have any experience of RCT but from what I've read on here, many people seem to find
it's not as traumatic as "ordinary" fillings. Thinking of you :XXLhug:
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

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Messages
744
Location
New Hampshire, USA
Please post how you get on on Monday! I will be right there with you in spirit! I hope it all goes really well for you. I don't (so far) have any experience of RCT but from what I've read on here, many people seem to find it's not as traumatic as "ordinary" fillings.
Thanks- I will definitely post afterwards about how it went. My last appt did not go well: the whole staff seemed really on edge, I was a panicked mess as usual, and he seemed to be losing patience with me. I didn't take it personally b/c it just seemed like they all had had a bad day, but I was really disappointed that it didn't go better.

Unfortunately, I DO have experience with RCT, and it was a terrible one. The RCT and getting the crown on it are what prompted my long absence from dental offices. I wrote about it in my letter, so hopefully he'll understand a little better, but it doesn't change the fact that I need another one.

I really feel like I might :cry: when he talks about RCT again, and then I'll be totally humiliated.
 
carole

carole

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I answered your other thread GOOD LUCK :clover::clover::clover::clover:
 
Aldridge

Aldridge

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Somerset UK
Shamrockerin, I'm so sorry, I should have read your previous posts before shooting my mouth off about RCT. Please forgive me. My husband says I have foot in mouth disease. Hope all goes well for you tomorrow; maybe with an early morning appointment, after (hopefully) a nice weekend off, the staff won't seem so rushed.:clover:
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

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Messages
744
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New Hampshire, USA
Shamrockerin, I'm so sorry, I should have read your previous posts before shooting my mouth off about RCT. Please forgive me. My husband says I have foot in mouth disease. Hope all goes well for you tomorrow; maybe with an early morning appointment, after (hopefully) a nice weekend off, the staff won't seem so rushed.:clover:
It's OK. So many people have told me that it's a not a big deal- it would be nice if I could believe them. Obviously I don't (yet), and I feel like there are 2 possible scenarios:

1) I have RCT, and it's painful. Then, my beliefs will be confirmed and I will be really mad at everyone for lying to me and I'll take another sabbatical from dentistry.

2) I have the RCT, and it's painless. I will have more faith in my current dentist, and I will become one of those reassuring people who tell other people that it's no big deal. Unfortunately, this scenario also has me getting very angry at the endodontist who treated me when I was a teen and did not pay attention to me when I signaled that I was in pain. Perhaps if I hadn't had bad experiences like that in my past, then I wouldn't have avoided dentistry for 12 years, and I wouldn't even need another RCT.

I am not sure if I am more upset with the RCT or the extraction- the first one has me in fear of physical pain, and the second one is more about emotional pain b/c that tooth specifically is associated with alot of pain and distrust. . .

I wrote that in my letter, which is also a source of my anxiety and I don't know if he received it or what he thought of it, or if he has questions about it. . .

I have to work today, and I just wish the day would go by really fast so I can come home, take my doiuble dose of Valium and try to relax.:(
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

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New Hampshire, USA
Tomorrow morning is IT.:cry:

I was OK for most of today, but now I feel all the familiar things setting in: jelly legs, pounding heart, stomach flip-flops. . .I know tomorrow is going to be awful.

I feel like if he even received my letter, he didn't read it, or he won't remember it or something. I am picturing "business as usual" which means I'll be on the verge of a panic attack and/or tears and therefore not speaking, and he'll just get annoyed or frustrated with me. . .

I feel like the whole atmosphere of the office is very tense whenever I am there, or rather BECAUSE I am there. I'm tense, they're tense. I hate being there, they hate me being there. I don't mean to be such a bad patient but my memories and experiences have conspired against me. Even when they're trying to be friendly and nice, I'm just thinking "whatever- they don't actually care about all this small talk crap". . .it feels like a Pandora's box of all my worst characteristics is opened whenever I step into that office. . .

This has me feeling depressed and hopeless.:cry:
 
FearfulInMA

FearfulInMA

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Sending you a lot of good thoughts for tomorrow. Please let us know how it goes. Fingers crossed for you that it's an easier appt than your last one!
 
Kim

Kim

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Every good positive vibe is being sent to you with a whole bunch of :XXLhug::XXLhug::XXLhug::XXLhug::XXLhug: too. Hope all goes well for you today.

Kim
 
Aldridge

Aldridge

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I guess you are at the surgery now and won't read this till you get back online, but I hope everything went well.:XXLhug: I think you are very brave.
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

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Not quite yet. I have 2 more hours to go. (US time is currently 6:45 am, my appt is at 8:50).

I've been awake since 5:30. I did take 2 Valium last night before bed, and again, no difference. I took them, got in bed, read for a while, went to sleep, had a weird dream (which was about being lost in a city and missing my appointment actually) and then I woke up an hour before I planned to.

About to take 2 more Valium now- not that I expect it'll do anything.

I feel like a freak: I have this fear, and Valium doesn't work at all, and the Nitrous doesn't work at all either. Everyone else talks about how great these are, how calm they feel with them, or at least that they take the edge off, but I have never gotten either one to work.

What is wrong with me?:(
 
Aldridge

Aldridge

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Nothing is wrong with you! Different strokes for different folks, as my Dad used to say. I've heard quite a few people say Valium doesn't really help them very much; I guess it's because people are all wired up differently...there must be a medical term for that. I forgot about the time difference between us, so I'll just keep rooting for you!:clover::clover:
 
Kim

Kim

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I've had Diazepam which I think is one and the same as Valium and it didn't do it for me either. My dentist prescribed Temazepam which was so much better, and apparently takes less time to wear off.

Good luck hunni, thinking of you, as I think you will either be there or on your way at least.

Kim
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

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New Hampshire, USA
Hi everyone, and thanks for a.ll your nice comments.

I am back from my appointment, and it went better than I was envisioning.

I was a wreck beforehand as usual, and when the assistant started me on the nitrous, I told her that I need to be warned before the dentist administers anesthetic. They don't need to count or anything, I just don't like to be surprised by it.

He did warn me, and I asked again for topical, which he did. He told me exactly what he was going to do: topical on the top, injection on the top, topical on the bottom, injections on bottom and warned me that half my tongue would go numb.

After the injections, I am usually able to calm myself a little. The sounds don't really bother me, and my music blocks alot of them out anyway. The smells/tastes don't even bother me that much. . .it's just anxiety and panic, caused by past experiences, and a fear of needles.

He told me that he did receive my letter, and it gave him some more insight. That's all he said about the letter itself, but he did seem more patient with me.

After the fillings were done, he broached the topic of the impending RCT again. He told me that the tooth has deep decay, but he won't know exactly how deep until he is able to look at it. If it only needs a filling, then he'll do the filling, and he'll also do a small filling on the nearby wisdom tooth. If it needs RCT, then he said he'll only do that during the appointment. He assured me again that if I start to feel anything, he'll stop immediately. Also, he said he won't remove the other tooth, so that's one less thing to worry about, for now anyway.

My appt. is not scheduled yet because I have wedding stuff to worry about, plus the receptionist wanted to make sure that my insurance will work out, so I have to touch base with them next month sometime to set it up. It may not end up being until December or January- is that too long to wait for a RCT?
 
carole

carole

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I am pleased for you that your appointment went well, if the dentist thinks that the tooth can wait for the rct then I would not worry. He sounds as if he took your feelings into consideration and was considerate and caring towards you.

Well done :jump::jump::jump::jump::jump::cheer::cheer::cheer::jump::jump::jump::jump::jump:
 
T

takingflight

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Well done!!! :jump: I'm glad to hear that it went well and that you don't have to worry about the extraction. It sounds as though your letter was well received and it was nice that he made sure you know he read it and that he seemed more patient because of it.

I agree with Carole; if the dentist felt it was urgent he probably would have pushed for an earlier appointment date. Now it's time to throw yourself into wedding "stuff" and let the stress of dreading this appointment go out the window! :D

Congrats again! :dance2:
 
I

iDent

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This is very good news on two levels. First, your dentist read your letter and it appears to have made an impression on him: I admit I have been a little worried ever since he made the "I need you to be an adult about this" comment, but know you said he and his staff were probably having a stressful day, and you obviously know better than any of us! Second, you not may not need RCT, and you no longer need to worry about extraction, at least for now.

As for waiting until December or January for the filling/RCT, I also agree with Carole and Takingflight: your dentist would not make you wait if he believed your need was urgent.

My husband and I tend to follow political issues more than many Americans, not necessarily because we want to, but because we were both raised in families where this was emphasized. . .we don't know how not to do this, and I suppose at some level we enjoy it even though it raises our blood pressures. During the past several years I have been known to say, "Things never turn out as well as I hope, nor as badly as I fear" in relation to political matters. It's also often true of workplace concerns. . .and of what happens in The Chair.

Good night. . .get some well-deserved rest, and dream of rice and flowers! :flowers:
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

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Messages
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New Hampshire, USA
I admit I have been a little worried ever since he made the "I need you to be an adult about this" comment

Thank you, iDent, both for your nice comment and your concern for me. I cannot say enough how happy I am to be part of this forum where everyone is so supportive of each other.:)

I admit that his "adult" comment did sting quite a bit when he made it, but like I said, the whole staff seemed really stressed that day. Plus, nothing he did that day hurt all, and he still checked in with me while he was working, so I decided that one comment shouldn't be a deal-breaker.

I was discussing the best time for the RCT with the receptionist. She knows I am getting married in November, so that month is out, and she always tries to work with me regarding which days I have off from work (and therefore don't have to use a sick day or rush to an appt. from work) and she's also trying to coordinate my insurance benefits and the ones I will get from my husband's insurance once we're married to reduce my out-of-pocket costs.

I am touching base with them next month after some insurance stuff gets worked out to set up an appointment. The tooth doesn't bother me at all now, and has never bothered me, so I am hoping I can make it until early December. The dentist himself did not say exactly when this should be done by, but I am assuming he would have said so if he thought it couldn't wait. The receptionist told me if it does start to bother me at all, to call them and we can try to get an earlier time set up.

So although I am certainly not looking forward to this (possible) RCT, I feel a little relieved that he knows my history and my fears more, and will hopefully be extra careful during it. Also, my other tooth will not be extracted yet, so I have some more time to reconcile the reality.

I am not a great patient, but often by the time I am paying the bill, I am already feeling alot better. Yesterday I talked with the receptionist, (even w/ half my face numb), showed her a pic of my wedding dress, showed her my wedding ring (a traditional Claddagh ring). . .One of the patients in the waiting room even asked to see it!

WOW- look at me, conversing like a normal person at a dentist's office!:jump:
 
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