• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

Paediatric dentists for phobics?

S

Surreyvwphobic

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 1, 2010
Messages
236
Location
In dental heaven
I just wanted to share this idea which although seems so ridiculously obvious, was the key to my success and will doubtless help others. Put simply, when searching for a practice that might help with phobia, also look and (and ask) for details or to speak with the dentist(s) that are especially good with children; chances are that if they can help and pacify a yelling toddler, they can surely calm a blubbering 50 year old! The only pitfall to watch for down this route is that you do not find someone patronising with this, but I found this approach to work very well. I have not so far plugged the practice that gave me this simple bit of advice, but will now do so; they are called Cavendish House and are somewhere just outside Cambridge but I do not have details to hand at present, but will happily post them when found. I was so touched by their honesty when I contacted them during my search, as they indicated that they are quite a large practice and very busy, and could genuinely not offer the time patience and care that they said I very much needed and deserved. Bless them! A lovely young lady called Clare gave me the suggestion of hunting out the paediatric specialists of any practice. In my case, it was the perfect solution!

Hope this is of use to anybody and happy to pass on details and inspiration to any who ask. Simon XX:cool:
 
That's a very good point, thanks for sharing. Reminds me of the fact that the tell-show-do technique was originally developed for children but is the basis of dealing with nervous adults too (if not even a basis of informed consent when I think of it deeply..) https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/help/psychology/tell-show-do/ (I just love the articles here on the site and use every ocasion to post a link:redface:)
So looking for a paediatric dentist makes a lot of sense.. just imagining the point when the receptionist asks how old your child is and you say that the appt is meant to be for you. :giggle:
 
Just a thought.

So .. thinking about pediatric dentistry.. brings me to not so lovely thoughts of an awful experience of my daughter when she was 3 and it was her first time. I was excited it would be a child focused pediatric dentist that surely they would be better than the experience I had as a child.. well.. they had a different philosophy... so all pediatric dentists are not alike.. this one specific looked very sweet in her picture even young pretty smiling.. well... then my daughter was scared it was her first time.. they were rushing her which made it more scary (was at the end of day , which I don't recommend if first time) anyways. they told me. maybe if you go in the waiting room she will be less nervous.. then I went and in less than 5 min I heard her screaming and crying. I came into an awful scene of the dentist forcefully on top of her cleaning her teeth while the hygenist or assistant held her down crying and screaming.. I can still picture this.. I actually went throught the door and yelled STOP.. right now... STOP.. and my daughter was fully crying and scared.. the Dentist then said "If I stop now she will think she has the control and that she never has to do it and you can never come back".. well.. I told her.. who would want to...? this is a scared 3 yr old who has never been before. what does it profit to scare a child and start their dental journey in a traumatic way... ugh... so... this is the philosophy of some pediatric dentists... THANKFULLY.... my dentist at the time. let her come to some of my appts and gave her toys and was so nice to her letting her see it is not a scary thing.. and then eventually went to a new pediatric dentist that I can say was truly a blessing and very gentle and kind and said she would NeVER treat a child in such a way.. so... just a thought.. ugh.. just like many for anxious patients just want to put you under sedation and don't want to really help you deal with the anxiety and talk about the shame and past and all.. its just finding the right fit... but... it is an interesting thought and idea!! really glad it worked for you !!
 
Just a thought.

So .. thinking about pediatric dentistry.. brings me to not so lovely thoughts of an awful experience of my daughter when she was 3 and it was her first time. I was excited it would be a child focused pediatric dentist that surely they would be better than the experience I had as a child.. well.. they had a different philosophy... so all pediatric dentists are not alike.. this one specific looked very sweet in her picture even young pretty smiling.. well... then my daughter was scared it was her first time.. they were rushing her which made it more scary (was at the end of day , which I don't recommend if first time) anyways. they told me. maybe if you go in the waiting room she will be less nervous.. then I went and in less than 5 min I heard her screaming and crying. I came into an awful scene of the dentist forcefully on top of her cleaning her teeth while the hygenist or assistant held her down crying and screaming.. I can still picture this.. I actually went throught the door and yelled STOP.. right now... STOP.. and my daughter was fully crying and scared.. the Dentist then said "If I stop now she will think she has the control and that she never has to do it and you can never come back".. well.. I told her.. who would want to...? this is a scared 3 yr old who has never been before. what does it profit to scare a child and start their dental journey in a traumatic way... ugh... so... this is the philosophy of some pediatric dentists... THANKFULLY.... my dentist at the time. let her come to some of my appts and gave her toys and was so nice to her letting her see it is not a scary thing.. and then eventually went to a new pediatric dentist that I can say was truly a blessing and very gentle and kind and said she would NeVER treat a child in such a way.. so... just a thought.. ugh.. just like many for anxious patients just want to put you under sedation and don't want to really help you deal with the anxiety and talk about the shame and past and all.. its just finding the right fit... but... it is an interesting thought and idea!! really glad it worked for you !!
So sorry you had such a terrible experience; this should never happen to anyone, regardless of age. Obviously, learning from this, it is worth "interviewing" any prospective dentist before anything happens, which had clearly not occurred in this case. Advice is to simply look elsewhere and probably remain with your daughter for the next meeting to ensure that both she and dentist are happy with proceedings.

Good luck to both of you and keep us informed! Simon XX :)
 
So sorry you had such a terrible experience; this should never happen to anyone, regardless of age. Obviously, learning from this, it is worth "interviewing" any prospective dentist before anything happens, which had clearly not occurred in this case. Advice is to simply look elsewhere and probably remain with your daughter for the next meeting to ensure that both she and dentist are happy with proceedings.

Good luck to both of you and keep us informed! Simon XX :)


Yes.. so true.. Thank you Simon.. she is now 18 and is with a good dentist.. but yes.. I so agree for kids we must make sure the dentists have same philosophy as us. This is hard to know sometimes as some say they are.. I actually went to one for my son and had a short consultation wtih her to test her out so to say and get to know her for a few minutes before I sent my son.. then he went .. and her philosophy after he started getting nervous was next time lets just give him nitrous and do what we need to. She seemed a bit impatient wtih him and told him that his worries and concerns were all in his mind and there was no reason for him to not want xrays that he was just making things difficult, I really didn't feel good after his visit, even after she seemed ok at first. My son said after his visit. well" I never want to go there again ". I"m glad he recognized as a child that he should be listened to and now he can turn it around and learn because he has a mom who validates his experience . And I know there are good dentists that do care and are validating and gentle and patient with kids and adults. Very good advice as well though not to leave the child with them if you do not fully know of trust the dentist or if the parent is not feeling a peace or comfortable.. I went against my gut with that previously because we want to trust the professionals..
 
In general a pediatric practice would be a good source for a proper adult oriented dentist referral.
A specialist is restricted to only performing their specialty. This doesn't include adults. Adults have adult teeth and different to treat than primary teeth. Most pediatric dentists prefer treating primary teeth and all recently trained pediatric dentists don't even see teenagers.
 
Back
Top