• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone with a fear of the dentist, dental phobia, or specific dental fears.

    It's a supportive space to talk to people with similar experiences, and get advice and information.

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Petrified and embarrassed!



Junior member
Aug 1, 2012
Hello everybody.

I am new to the site but very glad i found it. As a kid i never minded the dentist i always had great check ups and it never occurred to me i would be where i am now. from the time i was was 17 to 23 years old i was a serious drug user and as a result of not just the speed but the basic neglect for my own well being things like dental hygiene defiantly took a backseat. I am now 30 years old married a new baby on the way and have been drug free 7 years and with all the great stuff i am mortified to have to see a dentist. yes i am aware I am not the only one with bad teeth but i just get the feeling that i will be looked at like the awful junkie and not a guy who made some mistakes in their past wanting to move forward. Do dentists ask anything about what happened? do they care? i don't know what i would feel worse about having my drug past be looked at again or just being a dope who didn't brush enough. has any one here been through this?


Junior member
Jul 24, 2012
Hiya, Youre right this site is great for getting support and advice. Ive just started on my own journey to a healthy smile but what I can tell you is that, my teeth are in a terrible state and at no time was I ever asked any questions at all... not even if I brush or not. All the dentist was concerned with was what treatment plan would get me smiling again.

Weve all got a past in one way or another, theres not many people that dont have a bit of a skeleton in their closets but its past, gone, done and youre clearly very successfully moving forward (congrats on baby by the way!) youve obviously come along way and you need to go to that first appointment thinking 'I deserve to smile'

I contacted the dentist fist by email and this helped with the embarrassment factor as I was able to explain what I thought was going on in my mouth and so felt I wasnt going to be presented with horrified faces when I opened my mouth. It worked, it did make it easier so maybe thats worth thinking about.

Wishing you all the best :)


Well-known member
Jun 3, 2012
I hadn't been to a dentist for 20 years when I went in April. Like Lexi77, I contacted a dentist by email first. I gave a brief history of my excuses, lack of money, followed by fear and most of all shame. I said that I felt I was rotting from the inside. I said I needed help. When we hit rock bottom it sometimes gives us the strength to change things. I am really glad I did, it has banished the stress.

I hope you will find a caring dentist. Anticipation of the first visit is the worst thing. The visit itself will bring you relief. No dentist should judge you. They should help you rebuild your life and smile.

Good luck for a super smile to greet the little one.


Super Moderator
Staff member
Jun 14, 2012
Massachusetts, USA
I had also not been to the dentist in quite some time and my teeth were in pretty bad shape. Not once was I asked what happened. My dentist was totally non-judgement even saying that much of the decay would have occurred even if I had done everything I possibly could to care for my teeth. If, by chance, the dentist does ask (which seems really unlikely), you could just say that you had a rough time in your life and didn't do the best job of taking care of yourself. You don't need to say anything about your history of drug abuse. I often say something similar about why I didn't get dental care for so long (as it's often easier than admitting to my horrible dental-phobia).

For what's it's worth, I don't think that your history of drug abuse is something to be ashamed of. I think that the fact that you have 7 years clean and now have a child and family is a testament to your strength and perseverance. It's an incredible and admirable accomplishment.

Best of luck to you!


Junior member
Jun 29, 2012
Wow!!! To have come so far!! That's brilliant :cheer:. Your past is just that, the past. For whatever reasons your teeth got into a state, we are all here for you,and you have made a huge step towards a new smile. I'm so pleased that your life is settled now,it's a massive thing to have changed so much,you should be extreamly proud,congrats on the baby!!! Take comfort that you are are well on your way now!!! :hug4:

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