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Petrified-would be so grateful for any words of reassurance

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makeachange

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Jan 4, 2018
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Tomorrow morning I'm booked in to have 5 teeth extracted, my front lower four and a lower back molar which broke in half a long time ago.

It's been a long journey to get here and this is just the start, but I'm absolutely terrified. I've opted for conscious sedation and I'm not so worried about that part, more like bring it on as I don't want to remember anything! For me it's about the fear and pain and humiliation that has long been linked to childhood dental experiences that has led to my phobia. I do have a lovely dentist now who I trust and who understands my fears.

I don't know what to expect, I'm so scared I'm crying writing this. Please please can someone reassure me that it's going to be ok?
 
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Enarete

Enarete

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Dear makeachange,

very well done on having plucked the courage to make the first steps on your journey and great to read that you have a good lovely dentist who understands your fears. This is the most important part therefore I am sure you will be fine. You will find a lot of lovely success stories about conscious sedation, so why not take a look around to find some reassurance?

Childhood experiences are very powerful ones and it will take some time for your to get to a place of feeling ok before a dental visit. Until that there will be some anxiety and that's ok. It's a part of the process and your dentist knows it too. So if you feel like crying, just cry as much as you can. It doesn't mean that the visit will be scary, it just means that you have some memories that scare you at the moment. Once you hit the office, your dental team can take care of you and put you at ease, but the worst moments are the ones spent alone with your anxiety. So be kind and gentle with yourself..

If you like to write a bit more about what scares you and how you feel, please feel free to do so. This forum is here for you and writing all the thought out can be a huge help.

All the best wishes
 
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makeachange

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Re: Petrified-would be so grateful for any words of reassurance- extractions tomorrow

Thank you for taking the time to write such a kind reply, I'm really grateful.

I had bad childhood experiences with a male dentist who seemed to almost lay over me (he seemed huge and I was only petite!) while shoving horrible moulds into my mouth and making me gag! I guess it's the feeling of being out of control and the fear of pain that get me most. I've given birth twice, once with only gas and air so you'd think I'd be ok but nooo I'm scared of pain still.

I also feel so embarrassed that I've got to this stage. I'm having a temporary bridge thing tomorrow, then deep cleaning and hopefully healing of my gums before getting something more permanent. I've hated my teeth for so long and lived in constant fear of them falling out for so long that I know I have no option but I'm still so scared!

Thank you for listening, it means a lot to me.
 
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Z

ZannaBanana

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Jan 14, 2018
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Hey there! Last Friday I had my 6 front lower teeth removed, had bone grafting done and a temporary partial placed while healing for implants. The oral surgeon is really lovely, he suggested I be sedated, which I never had been before. Here’s my experience-
Got in the chair, the nurse put on a blood pressure cuff, oral surgeon came in, checked in with me, explained the he was going to start the iv and that the medicine works pretty fast. The last I remember is him saying ‘see you in a few minutes,’ the picture on the wall moving and me thinking ‘well, this is awfully nice!’

The next thing is coming awake while he was finishing the bone grafting. I dozed off, surfaced again while he was suturing, dozed off and the next thing I know he’s having me open wide so he can remove the bite block. Partial was fitted and I was back in my friends car on my way home. I was amazed at how uneventful such a huge event went on. I absolutely loved having been sedated. I have zero memory of the implant he placed where a molar was, but most importantly to me, the 6 extractions(which I dreaded being aware of)


I was very emotionally attached to these teeth, I spent a lot of money on restorations on them. Sadly, when I was a child my mothers cruelty caused them to chip, then she made sure I felt it was my fault that she threw the chips down the garbage disposal, had to take me to a dentist and had to pay money for it. Then as an adult when they eroded, got all on my case about fixing them(which I did 13 years ago.) I ended up getting severe root resorption and the only treatment was extraction because I hadn’t seen a dentist in 13 years since the one I saw at that time was extremely judgmental and degrading. So a ton of emotions around these 6 teeth. I was genuinely concerned about how I would handle the surgery and afterwards.

Anywho, take care in knowing this is far easier than you imagine it will be. I had so many awful emotions bubble up while waiting for my appointment day. You’ll be back home before you know it, marveling about how proud you are of yourself for taking this massive step! Every step past this one will be easy for us!
 
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makeachange

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Thank you so much, your story has really helped me too, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that because of how badly you were treated. I hope I can come back and post as positively! How was your recovery after? And how did you find it with your partial?
 
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ZannaBanana

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Recovery-I took 5 days off work since I had no idea what to expect. The first 3 days I was super tired and slept a lot. I’m sure part of it was the backside of so many weeks of anxiety! I wasn’t in nearly as much pain as I expected. I iced a lot. The first 2 days I took the pain pills, then just ibuprofen. I slept all night from day 1, never got woke up by pain.

Partial wise, they fit it before I left, so the first thing after getting in the car I needed to look at it. I imagined it’d be huge with big horse teeth and everyone would be able to tell. What I saw were pretty much my teeth. So reassuring.

I took them out to sleep when I got home and the first 3 days there was no chance of them fitting over the swelling. Day 4 I could just barely get them most of the way but they were quite painful since they were so tight still. Today was the first day that I can see light at the end. I got them in, still tight, still some painful spots where the swelling is the worst. I wore them for 2 hours today. I go back to work tomorrow so I’m really nervous about having them in all day. It’s definitly a process that is not easy. I mourn my teeth as weird as that sounds. My dentist assured me that it takes about 2 weeks to become friends ?

I’ll get there, and you will too!
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Re: Petrified-would be so grateful for any words of reassurance- extractions tomorrow

Thank you for taking the time to write such a kind reply, I'm really grateful.

I had bad childhood experiences with a male dentist who seemed to almost lay over me (he seemed huge and I was only petite!) while shoving horrible moulds into my mouth and making me gag! I guess it's the feeling of being out of control and the fear of pain that get me most. I've given birth twice, once with only gas and air so you'd think I'd be ok but nooo I'm scared of pain still.

I also feel so embarrassed that I've got to this stage. I'm having a temporary bridge thing tomorrow, then deep cleaning and hopefully healing of my gums before getting something more permanent. I've hated my teeth for so long and lived in constant fear of them falling out for so long that I know I have no option but I'm still so scared!

Thank you for listening, it means a lot to me.
Enduring pain that is 'happening by itself' and enduring pain caused by an another person in a situation where you feel like having no control over, that's a huge difference. There is nothing wrong with you, there are just bad things that happened to you in the past, therefore no need to feel embarrassed or sorry for that, on the contrary: give yourself a pat on the back for coming so far already.

Everybody has some fears (my dentist told me and I believe he was right) and the most people never confront it. What you are doing is very courageous. Remember, during your initial visits it's not about getting into a no-fear state, it's more about accepting the presence of the fear and going through it, despite the discomfort. The treatment itself - you will just fall asleep and in the next second it will be over. I know you can make it.

All the best wishes for today, hope you have someone kind and supportive with you and may your dental team take a extra good care of you, treat you very kindly and put you at ease as soon as you hit the practice door. And don't forget to come back to us and let us know how it went.

Last piece of advice: talk to your dentist about your fears and worries, if you hadn't already. It will make it easier for him/her to take care of you.
 
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makeachange

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Thank you again for replying. I'll be setting off in less than an hour, I've spent the last hour or so looking through the success stories there's and I think if I keep my focus on the fact that this is the beginning of getting a proper smile then that should help me.

It's funny you saying how brave I'm being when I feel such a scaredy cat!! My dentist and the lovely receptionists at the surgery all know how scared I am and are really kind which is a huge help. My husband has booked a day off to take me, he's really good and calm so I'm pleased to have him with me.

In a few hours it'll all be over....
 
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makeachange

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Well I'm back and feeling so proud of myself for having it done! Still feeling numb but that's beginning to wear off and once it does I'm going to eat!

The staff at my surgery were wonderful, the anaethatist said 'You're doing such a great thing being here even though you feel scared'. She put the IV thing in and it was just a scratch as others had said and then I was asleep, don't remember anything more! I did wake up a little before the end but had no pain, no panic, just a vague interest in what was going on. We had already agreed that if needed the anaesthetic could be turned up but she said as I was doing fine she didn't bother. Like so many others on here have said, IV conscious sedation is totally the way to go. I feel ok now, 3 hours later- tired of course and taking it easy but the lack of sleep and all the adrenalin leading up to it has contributed to that I'm sure!!

I also took Rescue Remedy on the way to the clinic and just before I went in which was a huge help. I didn't even cry! That's huge progress for me.

My dentist said that as the extractions were all very straightforward, she's not expecting me to be in much pain or discomfort, worst ways a paracetemol should sort it.

Just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to those who gave me words of reassurance and also for everyone who has posted their story, you have no idea of how much you've helped. I wouldn't have made the very first call without being on here and realising I wasn't the only one feeling so scared and that you can survive it....from the bottom of my heart thank you! So many people said the fear is much worse than the reality and they're sooo right. If I can do it, anyone can!

I'll keep posting as my journey continues and hope that I can help someone too along the way. Thanks again everyone, best forum EVER!!
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

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Bravo!

Well done.

You have demonstrated courage.
 
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makeachange

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Thank you ? I can honestly echo what so many others have said on here, if I can do it, anyone can. From feeling physically sick, crying at appts, not sleeping, wishing a car would take me out so I wouldn't have to go through with appointments/treatment etc etc I actually did it! I was brave and that feels good ?
 
krlovesherkids777

krlovesherkids777

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Really happy you made it through so well and seems your dental staff was amazing! I hope your healing goes well and quick!
 
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PurpleRain

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Thank you ? I can honestly echo what so many others have said on here, if I can do it, anyone can. From feeling physically sick, crying at appts, not sleeping, wishing a car would take me out so I wouldn't have to go through with appointments/treatment etc etc I actually did it! I was brave and that feels good ?
i am :D at the "wishing a car would take me out" cuz i can SO relate! before my extractions i found myself crossing the street and subconsciously being a little less cautious...i wasn't TRYING to get hit by a car, but also in the back of my mind i was thinking "well if i got hit by a car i won't have to go get my teeth pulled out."

big congrats on making it through unscathed; enjoy the feeling of having it over with!
 
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makeachange

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Thank you all for your kind words! I've managed to progress onto small bites of solid food today, definite progress!

I left my umbrella at the clinic on Weds and actually managed to go in there today to retrieve it without my legs feeling like jelly, further progress!

Now to see if I can keep calm for the deep cleaning part one which is next Thursday. Not looking forward to it but assured I will be well numbed...going to try not to stress, well not toooo much anyway!

PurpleRain- what are we like with the car stuff!!!!
 
Enarete

Enarete

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I left my umbrella at the clinic on Weds and actually managed to go in there today to retrieve it without my legs feeling like jelly, further progress!
This is a great achievment! :) I use to pass my practice as often as possible days before my appointment to desentisize myself and that alone is usually enough to fell like getting an heart attack.
 
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makeachange

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This is a great achievment! :) I use to pass my practice as often as possible days before my appointment to desentisize myself and that alone is usually enough to fell like getting an heart attack.
I honestly did think wow I am making a bit of progress here! Bet I'm not quite so brave come Thursday though!
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

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You cannot, by definition, fail on Thursday, no matter what happens, because you are already a success.

You are already beyond failure, so you may as well see where this interesting experience takes you. You are already a winner.
 
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makeachange

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You cannot, by definition, fail on Thursday, no matter what happens, because you are already a success.

You are already beyond failure, so you may as well see where this interesting experience takes you. You are already a winner.
Oh that's such a great way of looking at it!! Thank you so much, the support on here is amazing, I wouldn't have got to this point without it x
 
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