Petrified

[Bbb]

I’m 23 years old and I’ve suffered from Dental Anxiety for a very long time, I went to the dentist a couple days ago and he removed my wisdom tooth and back molar. (It was a new dentist, I didn’t like him so going back to the old one that I was using, he was much better for my anxiety)
Anyways, the anxious side of me can’t stop thinking about how I’m never gonna be able to eat again. I have a few cracked teeth on the left side, and I’m just petrified that I’m gonna lose all of my teeth. I know not to read online but I have been. I’m embarrassed to go to the dentist because my teeth probably are the worst he’s ever seen. Does anyone else have similar experiences? Does anyone else have such strong dental anxiety, I can’t even rationalise with it. I have an appointment on Tuesday and I’m already nervous about it and bugging out about it. It’s something that im severely embarrassed by and can’t stop thinking about. I think that’s the anxiety coming out but how do I relax myself?

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Bbb,

Welcome to DFC! We are glad you are here and sharing your story and are here to support you. There are many who have went through the same struggles.

Sorry to hear the new dentist wasn't so great with anxious patients it sounds. Are you going back to your old dentist for the upcoming appt, the one you said was better?

Its really easy to get anxious about your whole mouth and just let anxiety sort or take over and think catastrophically (I am speaking from experience). Its hard to slow down and take one step at a time , when it really is an emotional process.

I have also felt I had the worst teeth and would be the worst my dentist has seen. I put it out there and told him and he very much reassured me I wasn't and that alot of people think this but he is there to help and get things better.

Do you feel comfortable sharing your anxiety even a little bit with your dentist.. taking one step at a time?

Here is a great article on relaxing and distracting ourselves before our dental appts.

Did you finally make that dental appointment? - Defacto Dentists

nervous patient making dental appointment, fear of the dentist, scared to make a dental appointment, scared of the dentist,

www.defactodentists.com

Let us know how itgoes!

 

[Bbb]

Thank you so much for your response.
I am indeed going back to the dentist that I was more comfortable with. I made an appointment to go and just chat with him, and be open about my fears and anxiety. I just feel like a lot of what I’m saying is ridiculous and is just me making excuses.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Bbb..

So glad to hear you are going to the one you feel more comfortable with andjust to go have a chat! A good anxious friendly dentist will know how to make you feel at ease and make it all about you and how they can help you. They will also ease your mind. and not shame and blame you. Is there anything specific that made you feel more comfortable with them?

 

[kitkat]

Thank you so much for your response.
I am indeed going back to the dentist that I was more comfortable with. I made an appointment to go and just chat with him, and be open about my fears and anxiety. I just feel like a lot of what I’m saying is ridiculous and is just me making excuses.

This is a huge step! The fact that your dentist is willing to do this speaks to his willingness to help anxious patients. Please keep us posted and let us know how it goes!

 

[Bbb]

This is a huge step! The fact that your dentist is willing to do this speaks to his willingness to help anxious patients. Please keep us posted and let us know how it goes!

I’ve written out notes to go to the dentist with so I don’t get flustered during the appointment.

 

[kitkat]

I’ve written out notes to go to the dentist with so I don’t get flustered during the appointment.

i think that’s very wise as it can help keep the conversation focused on what’s most important and ensure you touch on all of your concerns. Anxiety can really make it hard to organize and recall your thoughts in the moment.

 

[Enarete]

I just feel like a lot of what I’m saying is ridiculous and is just me making excuses.

Many people feel that way. It's because nobody speaks about dental anxiety and it seems to be such a no big deal for everyone (note, I say SEEMS.. because it really isn't, about half of people have at least a moderate level of anxiety at the dentist and about ten percent are not able to go no matter what, it's just that nobody feels comfortable to admit it). It's actually more reasonable to fear the dentist than a bug or a mouse. If you can, keep this in mind. You're doing everything right.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you on Tuesday

 

[Sevena]

Anyways, the anxious side of me can’t stop thinking about how I’m never gonna be able to eat again. I have a few cracked teeth on the left side, and I’m just petrified that I’m gonna lose all of my teeth.

Hey, I just wanted to chime in say that there is no way you will never be able to eat again. I genuinely did lose all my teeth, and have full dentures now. And my teeth were in very bad shape! Almost every single tooth was cracked and visibly damaged etc. I mean, it was super visible. The teeth were discoloured from being dead, the roots were mostly dead so I didn't even feel the pain, they would break apart sometimes, it was a bit grim! And it was like... almost every single tooth in my mouth. Some were broken apart and had broken so long ago that the gum was growing over the chipped remains!

So if you think your teeth are the "worst ever" you are wrong. My teeth weren't the "worst ever" either! My sweet dentist even told me so. I sadly explained to her before opening my mouth, and she said, "Don't worry! I'm not worried. I will have seen worse!" and when she took a look, she didn't say a single word or pull a face, or react in any way.

Also I was a shaking trembling mess the whole time - there were even tears involved. But with the support of a nice dentist and nice supporting staff I got through it. And I lost all my teeth, but it sounds like that will not happen to you. I mean even when literally all my teeth were cracked and damaged, they were considering trying to save some. But I accepted a full clearance (removal of all teeth). And hey, I have full dentures, and I can eat pretty much whatever I want. I eat burgers, fajitas, tacos, chow mein, pies, fries, everything!

So your story will be nothing like mine - I guarantee it. Few posters here who are scared of losing all their teeth actually lose all their teeth. Less than 10% of them do! But even if the Very Worst happened - my story is here to let you know that you would still be able to chow down on tasty food, and your life would carry on.

 

[Bbb]

Thank you! I really appreciate that. The more I think about the appointment tomorrow the more tempted I am to cancel, but I know that’s the anxiety talking and I shouldn’t cancel?

 

[Enarete]

Absolutely! Please don't cancel. Look at what fear was designed to: to keep us away from things that hurt us in the past. It's a learning process to make sure we don't put our hands on hot cooking plates or jump down from trees. It's just that in case of phobias this system gets a little crazy and tries to protect you from things that are not dangerous and in terms of dentist even important for your health. So hang in there, the anxiety WILL get worse, that's a part of the process, we all have been through that and after you're done you will be super proud of yourself and glad you did it. Look forward to read your success story

 

[Bbb]

Unfortunately I ended up postponing my appointment.
Since then another tooth cracked which I presume will not be able to be saved. I’m so scared of going to the dentist now I don’t know what they are going to say. I know it’s a ridiculous fear that has taken over a lot of my life.

 

[Bbb]

I’m going to continue eating food because I think that is the only option. I hate that this is the situation with me teeth, it scares me that there is nothing that can be done to fix them and they just keep on getting worse. I just need to get it done.

 

[Ihatedentistss]

Unfortunately I ended up postponing my appointment.
Since then another tooth cracked which I presume will not be able to be saved. I’m so scared of going to the dentist now I don’t know what they are going to say. I know it’s a ridiculous fear that has taken over a lot of my life.

I want to say that I really relate to your post. We’re also very close in age. I’m sorry you didn’t like the dentist you went to (I’ve had an infinite number of dentists that I NEVER went back to). I am glad, however, you have a dentist you feel more comfortable with and are able to use. You’ll definitely be able to eat again. And you’re not going to lose all of your teeth, either. I have that same fear, though, so I get it.

You canceled your appointment but you made another so that’s what’s important. If my appointment today wasn’t prepaid (I had to pay over the phone beforehand which I’ve never had to do) I can almost guarantee I would have canceled. Like you I’m scared of them thinking my mouth is the worst they’ve ever seen— I’m super embarrassed. But I read something once where a dentist said they actually enjoyed mouths that needed work because it wasn’t boring and kept them busy? So I try to remember that.

I hope your tooth can be saved. I’m worried one of my teeth can’t be saved, too, and like you I feel that impending sense of dread that nothing can be done. However, the truth is that we don’t know. So there’s hope even if it doesn’t feel like it.

The fear is very real and I don’t think it’s ridiculous, honestly. I’ve had some horrible (I mean horrible) dental experiences so I understand why people would be scared, even people who haven’t had those experiences.

The good thing is that you’re going back to a dentist you’ve been using whose better for your anxiety. They’re familiar with you and there’s a connection of sorts there so I feel like they’ll understand the situation. Remember, it can’t rain forever. This is scary, yes, but you’ll absolutely get through it. You can’t change things— they will be what they will be— but you can adapt and you can work through whatever comes your way. You’ll feel so much better as you get work done. It seems like a lot now but you’ll find that it gradually gets easier as you get work done. You get one tooth taken care of and then move onto the next and slowly but surely there’s less and less work to be done.

In addition to a root canal I had 15 cavities at once (one filling had to be redone 3 times, I might add, all within less than two years) and I felt the world was ending. I was in so much pain and so terrified I broke down crying on my first visit to a new dentist. I got through it, though, just like you’ll get through this. You can do it! You really can

 

[Bbb]

Thank you so much! that post really helped.
It just feels like the better it gets something always has to get worse. I don’t want to lose my teeth- the fear of the cracks and them falling out is something that really scares me.

 

[Sevena]

You would be surprised at what they can save. Teeth can chip or crack and only need a crown, for example. Many people have posted here, worrying about how many visible cavities and damage they had, but they ended up only needing some crowns, or at worst a little partial denture to fill in a couple of gaps. If some teeth need extracted, you won't be left with nothing! They will replace it with something. And many people have a worse side of their mouth, the side they more commonly favour with chewing, or a side that had more crooked teeth leading to more damage, which means they maybe needed more work on one side than the other, but the other side was perfectly good and functional! Some damaged teeth never means your whole mouth is a write-off.

 

[Bbb]

Do I make an Emmergency appointment? I don’t even know what to say to the dentist. I’m so scared! It’s like half the tooth literally came out. Every single tooth in my mouth is cracked or has something wrong with it. I don’t even think brushing them at this point will help - I’m so scared. At wits end with this, I can’t deal with it anymore it’s so stressful and embarrassing. Whenever I feel like it’s getting a tiny bit better it’s not and I get nervous again. I’m having sleepless nights because it’s all I can think about, I’m not eating properly because I’m scared of what to bite and what not to bite. At this point I may aswell give up coz I really screwed up and I’m just done

 

[Bbb]

I found a new dentist that it is my area. He has a lot of recommendations and on the website it says that he offers sedation dentistry and understand dental phobia.
Is it worth calling him up to see if we get along - I can tell them over the phone that I suffer from intense dental phobia and have a lot of work that needs to be done. I don’t want to start with a dentist that I don’t know but I also know that there is an intense amount of work that needs to be done. Struggling and don’t know what to do

 

[Bbb]

I just wanted to update everyone.
I’m still having crazy anxiety about the dentist, I called them up today and she said that the dentist specialises in patients with anxiety which put my mind at ease.
I have an appointment tomorrow at 1 for twenty minutes to discuss everything with the dentist, and see what needs to Be done. It’s a new dentist - should I be honest about all my fears or is that too intense for the first visit?
In terms of payment I have so much treatment that needs to be done that I’m hoping we can come up with some sort of payment plan. Oh, I told my friends to come with me so that I don’t have an anxiety attack and I have some moral support along the way.
I’m very hopeful that this is step 1 of the recovery and I just hope that it continues, for now I’ll just stick to the soft food until he tells me what he wants to do with my teeth! Tbh with you I’m kinda down for him to just put me to sleep and do everything and wake me up when it’s all over! ?

 

[letsconnect]

Well done on making an appointment and getting one so quickly !

Regarding your question about whether you should be honest about your fears - the short answer is "yes". We've got an article on our website, written by a dentist, which answers this question:

How much should I tell my new dentist?

We've also got a number of interviews with dentists - if you read them, you'll find that their advice is the same:

Interviews with dentists who enjoy helping anxious patients

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow !