Phobia/Fear getting worse

[Betty77]

I posted on here a year or so ago about my fear of Dentists I managed to go to a few appointments and get the treatment i needed done. However I am back to square one again with my phobia mainly having my mouth numbed.

I'll start from the beginning,

From the ages of about 11 to 30 i saw the same Dentist, i had lots of work done i was always terrified but i trusted him and he knew exactly what my fears were. Unfortunately though the practice stopped seeing NHS patients and became private only resulting in me having to find a new Dentists.

Since then i changed to a closer practice and i really didn't like it there, they had no time for anyone who was frightened and i almost felt bullied by the Dentists.

Fast forward to today. I was told almost a year ago i needed a filling in an upper back tooth, i never kept my appointments as my fear was so bad. I changed again to another Dental Practice who told me this work needed doing. I have put it off and put it off for months but in the last few weeks especially my mouth permanently tastes horrible. I went to the Dentist on Tuesday with the intention of getting whatever i needed done over with. It turns out though that now i need 2 fillings in teeth next to each other, One a small filling, the other Root Canal. I am booked in for next Thursday to have them both done as he couldn't fit me in to do the root canal at that appointment.

I am beyond terrified, i feel permanently sick and panicky worrying about having the treatment. I did explain to the Dentist my phobia - I hate being numbed, am frightened i will choke, i feel faint when i am in there the list goes on.

I have made a GP appointment tomorrow to see if they will prescribe something to calm me down and actually get me through the appointment.

I am constantly aware of my teeth at the minute from the permanent horrible taste I am living with, nothing gets rid of it and i have been living with this for weeks. I feel such a fool for being so scared and i burst into tears every time i see a Dentist.
I wish i could go back to my original Dentist but i just can't afford the treatment there.
I know i am probably panicking about panicking and making my self feel worse.

 

[Betty77]

I have read a few posts on here and I am feeling a little better that people have the same fears and phobias as i do.
I have started to panic now though that a tooth is abscessed. Surely when i saw the Dentist the other day he wouldn't have sent me away to return a week later for filling and root canal if there was an abscess would he? I told him i had a permanent bitter/sour taste in my mouth and had done for weeks. He said though it was the tooth that needed the smaller filling at the back causing me problems not the one needing root canal.

I am seriously considering emailing my old Dentist and going private. In the hope that i can pay in instalments or something.
I can't eat properly and i'm permanently worrying and thinking about this. I am driving myself around the bend with worry.

 

[Dr. Daniel]

If it is too difficult to return to your old dentist, maybe you can ask him/her to treat this specific problem, at least a diagnose.

 

[Betty77]

I have just emailed my old Dental practice in the hope that i can be seen there. The dentist i used to see really did used to put me at ease. He knew my fears and during treatment would talk away to me about allsorts and before i knew it the procedures were done.

It is unfortunate that the practice went private only as i would have continued going there, i can only hope i can be seen and some sort of payment plan be accepted.

 

[Carys]

I really hope that they can discuss some sort of financial way forward on this for you, as it would clearly make such a difference to your ability to cope with the forth coming treatment. I know how it is to literally feel 'sick with worry', I lost 9 lbs in the week leading up to my appointment a couple of weeks ago. Trying not to be rather - err - graphic - the day before I also had many urgent needs to dash to the toilet.

 

[Betty77]

My old dentists did call me back but I missed the call so I shall call them back tomorrow. I already feel calmer at the prospect of seeing hin rather than going to the new dentist. My partner thinks I am mad as it will probably cost a small fortune.

I have hardly eaten since my appointment on Monday. I really dont think I can cope with visiting this new place.

 

[carole]

I think it is a good idea to try come to some arrangement with your old dentist, you can take out insurance or dental plans to help with the cost. I had to leave a very good dentist some years ago because he went private and I have paid the price of not being able to see him private. I was put with a man that took over from him and he didn't care and neglected my mouth. My phobia was made much worse with this man as well.

I have since found a good NHS dentist that has put right what he can with my mouth. I would say if it is at all possible that something can be arranged with your old dentist, then do it, if that is where you feel most comfortable, the relationship you have with your old dentist is priceless. It takes time to build up a trust with a new one, and when it is things like a root canal you need to feel at ease as much as you possibly can.

I hope you get this matter resolved. I think it is a very good sign that your old dentist has contacted you.

Good Luck.

 

[Betty77]

Thankyou all for your kind words.

I have a GP appointment this afternoon to ask for something to calm me down. I am definitely going to need this if i can't get back in with my original dentist. I am fed up of this being on my mind 24/7.

I haven't had another phone call from the dentists since i missed their call yesterday so i shall also call them up later this afternoon and ask if i can be seen and more importantly how much this will cost.

Part of me just wants the work done now so it's out of the way and over with, but the other part of me feels sick with fear and i just want to hide away. I honestly don't think i can go through with this at the NHS Dentist.

 

[carole]

Would it be possible for you to find another NHS dentist that you could work with, just in case it isn't possible for you to see your old dentist. There are some very good understanding ones out there that work for the NHS. You could look around and e mail some as a back up plan, explain how you feel and see what comes back. It won't cost you anything, just a bit of time, and you may find one. Even if you manage to see your old dentist, but find it too expensive to be able to continue, it gives you some time to decide who you would like to try. If they get back to you, you can even go and have a check up appointment, nothing else and see if you could work with them.

Give a new dentist a fair chance, sometimes when we have a good dentist and they leave, they can be a lot for a new dentist to live up to.
I can usually tell within that first meeting if I could develop a trusting relationship with them.
I think as phobics we have developed a sixth sense about this, and we can very quickly filter out the not so good ones.

 

[Pianimo]

Hi Scaredy.

Hope the appointment with your GP was helpful, and that you were able to get hold of your old dentist and have a good converstation with him.

If you did, this may all be of no use now ....but just in case: 0% loans for dental treatment do seem to be quite commonly offered in private dental practice, the only issue being there's usually a minimum spend.

If you do find it's not possible financially for you to go back to your old dentist, I'd suggest it's still worth explaining your situation to him, and asking him if there's an NHS dentist he'd recommend to you. Dentists within an area tend to know each other, and as he is someone who knows your needs and whose opinion you trust, this could be the best way to find an NHS dentist you can be happy with. I also had to leave my dental practice last year due to cost, and I was advised to ask my dentist if she could recommend anyone to me. I was really nervous about it, but she wasn't upset/offended at all, and recommended a friend of hers. (And that was me leaving one private practice for another, just with a big difference in prices; if you're going with NHS, it's not like your dentist would even be losing a patient.)

Whatever happens, I really hope that you can get this sorted, and feel better, soon.

 

[Betty77]

I went to my gp and he prescribed propanolol, he suggested diazapam but I didnt like thought of feeling drowsy.

I haven't heard off my old dentist but I know realistically I cannot afford the treatment.

The total fear is still there but i have to do this.

 

[carole]

I felt like you and I can feel how deflated you are feeling, what is it about the new dentist that bothers you so much. Could you see someone else if you really feel he doesn't put you at ease. I was really terrified when I first got my new one last year and although I am still slightly nervous I have full confidence in him and I know I can get work done I need. I am having a bit of a fit now because, my dental practice is getting a new dentist and I am worried he's leaving.

Good luck to you, I hope it goes well for you. Let us know how you get on when you feel up to it, I would be interested to know.

It will be fine. Try not to worry, worry does more to you than the dentist.

 

[Betty77]

I was supposed to be getting my first lot of work done tomorrow but i have had to cancel due to money being short this week. I am so fed up i wanted to get this done and out of the way but i have re arranged for next Thursday now instead.

I am scared of the new Dentist because i don't know or trust him, i think my big problem is i went to my old for so long that although i was scared he knew me well and my fears.

Hey ho, I can do this and in a weeks time the first lot of treatment will have been done.

 

[carole]

Hi Scaredy I was with a dentist that knew me very well and I had a very good relationship with him, just like you did with your previous dentist. Mine died and I did go somewhere else and I did get a filling done, but I just found it too nerve wrecking, and I couldn't go back.

I didn't go for 5 years after that, and that gave me nightmares and everyday I thought my teeth would fall out or break or I would get infections, so not going wasn't the answer because that caused me more worry than going in the end, it consumed my whole life. Not eating certain things in case it effected my teeth, brushing like a maniac and not being able to concentrate and it just ruled my life basically.

I did eventually find a lovely dentist that got my mouth back to health. I lost two teeth and had to have a very deep filling. But he did it and I went to doing 6 month appointments, then he went private about 5 years ago and I was distraught and as you have; I looked at going private in order to stay with him, but no matter how I looked at it, even with insurance it was still too expensive for me. The dentist that took over from him was horrible but I kept going and I was getting more and more phobic with each visit, the outcome of this was I had an abscess left untreated by him and made to feel horrible and a pest.
In Sept last year a tooth broke and I could not face seeing him so in a state of total panic I had to find another dentist.

I did and it has been the best think I have done in a long time, my now dentist is really good and my first few visits, he must have thought he had a mad woman in there, but he was not fazed and he has been so considerate and gentle, I can't believe my luck now.

When my good dentist went private like yours did, it felt like a death to me, I really felt like I was grieving, I know it sounds odd and he hadn't died, but a loss is a loss and that is the only way I can explain it. I don't mean it to sound creepy. But I think maybe you are feeling the same sense of loss.

I hope you can have a comfortable relationship with your new dentist, it is possible as I have done it. I think my problem is, and I am sure others feel the same way, we need one person that we can work with and if we have to see someone else panic sets in because it is the unknown, and not knowing how somebody else will react. I also get used to how that dentist works and how they move about me, and how gentle they are in your mouth. Only somebody that is phobic or nervous could understand because it is very hard to explain without sounding like a complete basket case.
We draw out the agony by waiting and putting it off.

Could you e mail or ring them again and explain how you feel, maybe even have a word with the dentist.

I wish you luck and all the best for you appointment.
I hope you can manage to go next week because you will feel so much better once you've been. If you still feel this dentist is not right for you then have another look until you find one you can work with.

 

[Betty77]

Hi Scaredy I was with a dentist that knew me very well and I had a very good relationship with him, just like you did with your previous dentist. Mine died and I did go somewhere else and I did get a filling done, but I just found it too nerve wrecking, and I couldn't go back.

I didn't go for 5 years after that, and that gave me nightmares and everyday I thought my teeth would fall out or break or I would get infections, so not going wasn't the answer because that caused me more worry than going in the end, it consumed my whole life. Not eating certain things in case it effected my teeth, brushing like a maniac and not being able to concentrate and it just ruled my life basically.

I did eventually find a lovely dentist that got my mouth back to health. I lost two teeth and had to have a very deep filling. But he did it and I went to doing 6 month appointments, then he went private about 5 years ago and I was distraught and as you have; I looked at going private in order to stay with him, but no matter how I looked at it, even with insurance it was still too expensive for me. The dentist that took over from him was horrible but I kept going and I was getting more and more phobic with each visit, the outcome of this was I had an abscess left untreated by him and made to feel horrible and a pest.
In Sept last year a tooth broke and I could not face seeing him so in a state of total panic I had to find another dentist.

I did and it has been the best think I have done in a long time, my now dentist is really good and my first few visits, he must have thought he had a mad woman in there, but he was not fazed and he has been so considerate and gentle, I can't believe my luck now.

When my good dentist went private like yours did, it felt like a death to me, I really felt like I was grieving, I know it sounds odd and he hadn't died, but a loss is a loss and that is the only way I can explain it. I don't mean it to sound creepy. But I think maybe you are feeling the same sense of loss.

I hope you can have a comfortable relationship with your new dentist, it is possible as I have done it. I think my problem is, and I am sure others feel the same way, we need one person that we can work with and if we have to see someone else panic sets in because it is the unknown, and not knowing how somebody else will react. I also get used to how that dentist works and how they move about me, and how gentle they are in your mouth. Only somebody that is phobic or nervous could understand because it is very hard to explain without sounding like a complete basket case.
We draw out the agony by waiting and putting it off.

Could you e mail or ring them again and explain how you feel, maybe even have a word with the dentist.

I wish you luck and all the best for you appointment.
I hope you can manage to go next week because you will feel so much better once you've been. If you still feel this dentist is not right for you then have another look until you find one you can work with.

I am there tomorrow morning at 9am. I don't feel as sick with fear as i normally would, i know i have to get this done.
The only concern i have is i am full of cold and the last time i was there they had a notice on the wall stating if you had cold or flu symptoms and other illnesses then they wanted you to inform them as they would re organise treatment to avoid spreading illness. If they call me to confirm my appointment today i will tell them but i don't want them to think it is another kop out to not go. I also don't want to turn up there tomorrow and be turned away.

My biggest fear is the numbing still it scares the hell out of me. Am i right in thinking though that because my root canal is in a top tooth, when they numb my mouth the only area that will numb is that tooth and maybe my cheek. It isn't as bad as having a lower tooth done where your tongue goes numb is it?

I so hope tomorrow i can pot on here saying - I did it.

 

[Carys]

My biggest fear is the numbing still it scares the hell out of me. Am i right in thinking though that because my root canal is in a top tooth, when they numb my mouth the only area that will numb is that tooth and maybe my cheek. It isn't as bad as having a lower tooth done where your tongue goes numb is it?

Hiyer, I have had a root canal done on an upper pre-molar in the last few weeks. Last week and the week before I had two injections in/around the tooth, so similar to what you are having ? The first injection was done on the cheek side of the tooth and the second was done in the other root on the soft palate side of the tooth. Both were done with topical gel first, one I didn't feel AT ALL (the one on the side of the cheek) and that other I felt the needle going in, but it didn't hurt as such.

The numbing did literally affect the immediate area; tongue, back of palate and even my cheek were not affected at all in my perception. If I gently bit down on the tooth (as I did when he asked me if I thought it had taken effect) I could feel that it was that tooth that was about to be worked on and a bit of the two teeth either side.

I do find that as the local leaves the site of injection over the following few hours that it kind of spreads and makes a larger area numb, but less strongly affected. That is totally normal though I believe. My top lip on the side the work was done was somewhat 'unresponsive' and didn't smile like the other side (see that smiley picture I chose there, it has a one-sided smile LOL!) and when I tried to drink my lip wouldn't close and the coffee fell out lol I didn't mind that feeling of it spreading an hour or so later, as I knew that the local was now leaving the site of injection in my blood stream, and that was encouraging.

I hope this helps a bit. I've never had a set of injections in lower teeth, luckily, and have only had work done on the uppers, so can't make a comparison but there certainly wasn't a large area affected at all.

All the best of luck for tomorrow, bet you it is nothing like as difficult for you as the waiting is today

 

[carole]

Hi Scaredy everything Carys just said, I also had a root canal on the upper in a back tooth just before Christmas, I was petrified at the time but it was okay having it done and the numbing was just around the tooth being worked on and just slightly in the surrounding area. If you don't like the numbing after, I have got a hot water bottle and wrapped it in a towel and held it on my cheek to thaw myself out.

I wish you all the best for tomorrow, I am having a rct on a bottom tooth tomorrow as well so we can see how we both did tomorrow teatime.

You will be fine, just make sure you are numb before the dentist starts, if you are not sure ask for some more stuff, even if you slightly felt the first injection you wouldn't feel a top up because you will be numb enough not to feel it. Ask him if he has any topical gel to rub on your gums before injecting.

 

[Betty77]

Hi Scaredy everything Carys just said, I also had a root canal on the upper in a back tooth just before Christmas, I was petrified at the time but it was okay having it done and the numbing was just around the tooth being worked on and just slightly in the surrounding area. If you don't like the numbing after, I have got a hot water bottle and wrapped it in a towel and held it on my cheek to thaw myself out.

I wish you all the best for tomorrow, I am having a rct on a bottom tooth tomorrow as well so we can see how we both did tomorrow teatime.

You will be fine, just make sure you are numb before the dentist starts, if you are not sure ask for some more stuff, even if you slightly felt the first injection you wouldn't feel a top up because you will be numb enough not to feel it. Ask him if he has any topical gel to rub on your gums before injecting.

I have had a bad experience previous with the Topical gel, i swallowed some and had a numb throat so i will probably be asking him not to use that.
I should be OK if it is just the tooth and a slight area around it being numb i know i am going to freak out still but i am determined now to get this done. It is actually taking over my life.

Thankyou for your kind words and advice and hopefully tomorrow we will both have had a root canal done and managed to get through it!

 

[Betty77]

Hiyer, I have had a root canal done on an upper pre-molar in the last few weeks. Last week and the week before I had two injections in/around the tooth, so similar to what you are having ? The first injection was done on the cheek side of the tooth and the second was done in the other root on the soft palate side of the tooth. Both were done with topical gel first, one I didn't feel AT ALL (the one on the side of the cheek) and that other I felt the needle going in, but it didn't hurt as such.

The numbing did literally affect the immediate area; tongue, back of palate and even my cheek were not affected at all in my perception. If I gently bit down on the tooth (as I did when he asked me if I thought it had taken effect) I could feel that it was that tooth that was about to be worked on and a bit of the two teeth either side.

I do find that as the local leaves the site of injection over the following few hours that it kind of spreads and makes a larger area numb, but less strongly affected. That is totally normal though I believe. My top lip on the side the work was done was somewhat 'unresponsive' and didn't smile like the other side (see that smiley picture I chose there, it has a one-sided smile LOL!) and when I tried to drink my lip wouldn't close and the coffee fell out lol I didn't mind that feeling of it spreading an hour or so later, as I knew that the local was now leaving the site of injection in my blood stream, and that was encouraging.

I hope this helps a bit. I've never had a set of injections in lower teeth, luckily, and have only had work done on the uppers, so can't make a comparison but there certainly wasn't a large area affected at all.

All the best of luck for tomorrow, bet you it is nothing like as difficult for you as the waiting is today

Thankyou so much your post is very re assuring to me. I am still terrified of going but not as much as i usually would be. I don't expect to be getting much sleep tonight but in 24 hours time it will be over nad done with.

 

[carole]

Explain to the dentist before he starts how you feel and tell him/her what it is you are most afraid of. You could either ring today or e mail them and I am sure they will put your mind at rest. If they know what it is that worries you they can help and deal with the fear, making the procedure easier for both you and the dentist.

All the best for tomorrow. you and I today. this is us tomorrow.