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please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?



Well-known member
Nov 27, 2009
please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

I have been having nightmares about my teeth because they hurt me every single day. All of my back molars. If it's not one, it's the other.
As I have mentioned in all of my posts, they are a "special needs" dental group for people with mental handicaps, physical handicaps and phobics. I am on disability and just so happen to be phobic.

They have a temporary office and are taking patients now. I saw them a couple of weeks ago.

I have been discharged by every dentist near me due to my extreme anxiety. When I was pawned off to this office, I thought they would be my saving grace, and they were when I had an abscess and had oral surgery.

Then I missed a couple of appointments (2 - but they are saying three) because they are far away and traffic was horrible, or I'd have a seizure that day, I'd end up being 20 mins late, and despite my calling them to tell them I would be late, they chalked me up as a no-show anyway. This was before the fire occurred.

Today after a particularly frightening nightmare, I called them and begged them to see me again, I saw them a few wks ago and told them I can wait, but the pain is getting to be too much.

When they scheduled me, they gave me the third degree about my irresponsibility and that if I call and cancel even 1 more time, even if I give them 24 hours notice, they will let me go.

I will be uteerly hopeless. I have a stack of discharge papers from other dentists and other doctors.

I cried so hard my mother had to take the phone, and they were merciless.

I did not mean to miss those appts and there are some days when I wake up and am having all kinds of seizures, aren't they supposed to understand that...?

I'm thinking about getting a pair of plyers and pulling my own g-d teeth. :cry:

..... before the fire they were my saving grace. They were patient, kind, cooperative.... even gave me their personal cell phone numbers. I've been all but physically abused by dentists and just pretty much on the brink due to this. This was very much an unexpected smack in the face.

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Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

please help me?? please

i have teeth that need extracted, some need filled, gums need cut, I am in an insane amount of pain and can not take painkillers,

Today is MY BIRTHDAY and I am spending it CRYING HYSTERICALLY because of my dentist's staff!!! I am only 24 years old and I will likely need partials. I am devastated
When she did make an appt for me she asked my date of birth, I told her Nov 8th, she gave me my appt time then hung up on me, I had to call her back to see if it was an accidental disconnection, she said no, she intended to hang up

I can't stop crying, pleas ehelp me

They canceled 4 appts on me but I canceled TWICE and they are threatening to discharge me!!! Last night's nightmare during sleep turned into a reality and I am traumatized. :cry::cry::cry::cry: and in so much pain, but what's worse is the fear of them discharging me....

I want to talk to my OS and tell him what his awful staff has done to me but they won't let me talk to him, what can I do to talk to him???
Write hima certified letter?
Go to his office 2 hours away?
Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

When you say you cancelled or turned up late because of traffic or whatever...did you pay for their time?
I think what you are finding is that 'special needs' or not, time is money and if you expect them to have an open slot every now and again, and still keep you on the books, you have to be prepared to pay for it.

I suppose the parents of special needs children don't cancel as they don't have the fear issues.

Look at it from their point of view....you are a no show or a late show and they don't get paid or only get paid minimally for a slot where they could have generated more revenue.

I know it seems harsh looking at it like this but this is (I promise you) the real reason you are getting 'attitude' from the staff.

It sounds like it is not in your interest to let this one go - so make turning up your priority...leave xtra early...whatever it takes.

Cheer up, they haven't dismissed you yet. I understand failing to show is one of the major reason for mainstream dentists to avoid treating patients who describe themselves as phobic, rather than any of the other issues of having to tailor treatment..it's the hole in the schedule which is the deal breaker.
Re the seizures you need to discuss this with the doctor and agree what you should do. should this coincide with an appt.
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Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

Thank you for your response :cry: but I still feel that they are wrong. I was never a no-show. never.

I did not pay but I offered to pay because I am so terrified of being discharged. They didn't accept....

I am trying to remember exactly why I had missed 2 or 3 appts.....

1st time - canceled 5 days in advance because my fiance was in the ICU with Diabetic Ketoacidosis (so they could schedule someone else in: no loss of $$$$)

2nd time - I called that same day because I was having seizures - way before my appointment time so they could take someone else in (no loss of $$$$)

3rd time - I made it to the office but was 20 minutes late - I called them over and over again and I kept getting their answering machine, which doesn't accept messages. By the time I got there, they said, "We got your messages but only waited 15 minutes for you to show up," so if I was 5 mins earlier they would have been there. (this is when I offered to pay)

Part of their "special needs" population is phobics so I did not expect such an attitude. I feel that if I could talk to the actual OS and his Anesthesiologist, they would be dissatisfied with their staff.

I was never a no-show.

Not to mention they cancelled on me four or five times........

isn;'t there anything I can do?
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Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

Well they have all the power in this aspect of the relationship I'm afraid, so if you want to stay with them, you have to play it their way at least until you get to see the actual surgeon/dentist and agree some other way in the event of seizures. If you are driving 2 hours to get there, you have to allow plenty of leeway...frustrating for you to make all that effort for nothing as well.

The normal practice is that you pay at least a 'missed appointment fee' unless you can give a full 24 hours' notice. This is normal even for UK NHS dentists. Some places will 'let you off' the first time (this seems to have happened to you the time you arrived late), others won't.

For all you know the staff are incentivised on 'full schedules' and this would explain their use of threats. I'm not saying it is right but that it does happen.

You mention lots of practices having dropped you on these issues before so I think you have to ask yourself if there's something you specificially can change, to nip this in the bud.

Your assumption that they could definitely get someone else in on the same day is incorrect..maybe they could, maybe they couldn't..hence the 24 hour thing.

I think their staff have been overzealous but the only way is to keep another appt and discuss it with the dentist or you will run the risk of being dismissed.
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Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

*sighs* well, it makes good sense, and I won't disagree with you at all... I don't mean to cancel my appointments. I had no idea that even cancelling many days in advance would be a strike against me. I just wish they were nicer about it, and I honestly don't feel like I've done anything wrong, yet I'm still ashamed and 100x more insecure than before they ripped me a new one. ughh... :shame:

Thank you for responding brit brit ..
Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday Camisado.

Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

Your Welcome Camisado.

Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

hi hi,

I agree totally with Brit -- this is just a money thing. Don't worry about it anymore, certainly don't cry over it! :XXLhug: They're just being a bit harsh on you to make sure you get the message and never make that mistake again :) That's all. It's tough being a special needs medical provider (I have work experience in that, oddly enough), and sometimes they can be a little jaded with their manners. They don't mean to be nasty to you, they just want you to get there on time when you say you'll be there. They need to be able to count on you. Every time you cancel (regardless of the time/situation/etc), it makes their job just a little more difficult. They have to reschedule you, they were counting on monies, they have an open time slot, etc. Offices make plans around their schedules, so every change is hard on them.

Just make certain you get there next time. Set your alarm an hour early and/or leave an hour early (I'm serious).

I'm from Los Angeles, so if I wanna get anywhere on time, I've gotta leave way early. Especially for the dentist! I want that over as soon as possible so I can get on with my day :) Definitely don't wanna arrive late to that!

Don't worry about this, just relax!
Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

I wonder why you have not considered seeking out a new dentist? Personally, as a phobic myself, its hard enough to handle a dentist, but one who has made it clear they they are displeased with me? One who has been outwardly hostile to me by threatening to discharge me? I doubt I would feel the comfort I need in such a situation, stress being piled up on top of an already stressful situation.

To be honest, I do agree that the dentist may well have good reason to take the position they do, for reasons already stated by others. But whats done is done, you cannot change the past, and if the dentist has an issue with you, perhaps its time for you to move on to another dentist. That is what I would do at least. But then, I do not know the details of your situation and perhaps this is not a simple matter.
Re: please help me - "special needs" dentist "might" discharge me for being too scared?

Hey my birthday was also the 8th.

If it helps at all, I spent the day with my hand on my face hoping the throbbing will slow down.

Getting alllll my teeth extracted on the 29th, so I think this is some sort of petty revenge by my teeth knowing what they're gonna get!

Personally if I suffered from seizures, and told my provider as such, and was late because of them, if they threatened to drop me over it....wow. I would be furious.

And getting partials isn't the end of the world, I'm only 35 and getting full uppers and lowers. Of course, I get to go completely toothless for five months first.

There is always someone out there that will help you, it took me a long time to figure out a way to get my work done, but I did it. It took some work and making the calls. And it's a long, long drive but it needs to be done.