Post-procedure waves of fear and depression?

[Minissa]

I hope this one is OK to post here, and I've been helped a lot by reading the stories of others. I get myself to the dentist OK, but as I get older, this is happening with alarming regularity: The minute I'm done with anything but a routine cleaning and check-up, I get hit by waves of negative emotions. I have to come home and, if I can't actually nap, dive under the covers and curl up in a little ball, cocooning myself with all my sheets and blankets. I feel an actual emotional chill and get hit with what we used to call "the Wave" when our son was in junior high and high school, neglected his school work, and was using our credit card without permission and racking up charges for online games and food and we just couldn't find a way out. So, depression along with fear and some other negative emotions. It always passes, but it's become truly crippling to the extent I can't plan to do anything right after. Also, this happens with or without nitrous. In fact, sometimes it seems worse with, although that could be that I only ask for it with longer, more involved procedures like root canals. I finally found a really great dental practice and love all the dentists and their "ancillaries." I've wondered in part if this might be part of (please don't laugh) this empath thing I do where I either feel others' emotions or read body language so well I pick up emotions without trying, like (because who really likes going to the dentist?) am I picking up the negative vibes of the past few patients who've sat in the chair I'm using. Nitrous would make it harder to consciously put a "barrier" between one's own and others' emotions. Any thoughts? Thank you for letting me ask!

 

[Enarete]

Hi Minissa,

I am coming a bit late to this, but what you are describing sounds like a way of the body and mind processing situation of high stress. Before jumping into this a bit further, may I ask you how do you usually feel before your appointments and during them? Are you okay with dental visits or do you suffer from anxiety? And particularly, how much able to communicate do you feel during your appointments? I would be also interested, whether it is always the same or increases in intensity.

All the best wishes

 

[Minissa]

Actually, this is the only response I've gotten, so I'm grateful. I don't exactly love dental visits, but I don't go into them too terribly afraid, as many on this site seem to do. I've had a number of surgeries, so I have something to compare the level of anxiety to! I really like my dentist: good skills, personable, discusses my care plan with me so I feel like we're interacting rather than like I'm being lectured to. But afterwards, I do nearly always get these symptoms and want to just cocoon myself under my covers for the couple of hours it takes to feel better. Worse with longer procedures, and I do usually ask for nitrous and a bite block. It does seem it started maybe 10 years ago, but I'd been with this practice for quite a while before that. Maybe just a manifestation of advancing years?

 

[Enarete]

I am not sure whether this applies to you, but I would expect this kind of reaction in situations that are highly stressful or anxiety provoking but where you at the same time need to "function" and cannot really feel the stress in that given moment. It would then all get released afterwards - once you are home -and manifest as depression, exhaustion and fear.
Many years ago I have not thought I was anxious of the dentist - I got a bit nervous but could go with visits. I would have a total melt down once getting home though. In the worst stages I'd break down, sit on the floor crying and would not know why. From my view nowadays, I've just been massively stressed but very accustomed to not feel or be aware of the stress in that moment so that all the adrenaline and cortisol could only get released afterwards. It was much later as I realized how helpless I in fact felt during these visits.

 

[Stewart]

@Enarete i think youre the only person that "gets" people here, its obvious in how you post that you have lived experience and deep thoughts

 

[Lioness]

@Enarete, @Minissa,
I feel extremely tired recently after my appointments, too. The stress and sadness coming out from myself a day or two later is very upsetting for me. Maybe this state is really "just a manifestation of advancing years", like you've said, Minnissa. I sympathise with you.

 

[Stewart]

@Enarete @Minissa @Lioness

Ive tried to explain my thoughts but everyone you explain to, other than the tiniest minority of people never gets it, or even tries to get it.

The typical response is that after youve had treatment, your phobia should just lift....like "see....it was all great wasnt it".... except it doesnt. It really doesnt. Sometimes I just sit in the car and cry. other times i come home exhausted and go to bed, hoping i wont wake up again.

And for me personally, it all just comes back to a feeling of utter pointlessness. You injected me, you drilled me, wasnt i so brave. well am I done now? errr.....no you arent. Because youll be sat in front of me, every 6 months forever anyway.

The minute i leave the door, im a day closer to the next needle and drill in my mouth, on a never ending loop, until im dead.

 

[Enarete]

@Enarete @Minissa @Lioness

Ive tried to explain my thoughts but everyone you explain to, other than the tiniest minority of people never gets it, or even tries to get it.

Phobia is - strictly speaking a mental disorder. Such as depression, anxiety disorders and many others. I'm afraid that it is a common experience with any of these conditions, that the majority of the people - namely anyone who does not suffer from it - will have difficulties understanding or even imagining how it is like. It's like if someone suffers from panic attacks in public places or has too much anxiety to leave their house. People who do not have these conditions may be confused and be like "but it's not that bad" or "don't worry, you are safe, nothing can happen."

Any procedure or even check up in a medical setting requires any person undergoing it - to give up control for a while and tolerate things that are not pleasant. Most people without mental health suffering will be okayish with it. They won't love it and may be anxious, but they get through it without massive consequences. For anyone suffering from any mental health problem, these things may be really, really difficult, up to a point of people not being able to go. Fortunately, there are some professionals who are aware of that and make their best to educate themselves to help patients like this, but many still do not have the capacity or awareness to do so. And on the other hand - many people suffering from these things do not seek a mental health professional to deal with it or do not even know that they can take control and chose a professional who would take their fears seriously. I wished medicine would have more psychological education to it and particularly trauma awareness, but I appreciate that medicine and dentistry are difficult enough to get learned even without.

 

[Enarete]

@Enarete i think youre the only person that "gets" people here, its obvious in how you post that you have lived experience and deep thoughts

All I know I have learned from this forum and most important from the people who founded it and contributed to it over the years, all the admins, moderators and dentists.

 

[Lioness]

I wished medicine would have more psychological education to it and particularly trauma awareness, but I appreciate that medicine and dentistry are difficult enough to get learned even without.

Yes, @Enarete, you can't even imagine how much I'd like medicine having more psychological education and particularly trauma awareness...

I know, it's another topic but... Maybe then I would be less terrified and my hip surgery would succeed (I know, it was so long ago - I was six then - but still)... And I would be less disabled today... Gosh, I'm just still not able to forgive... life what has happened then... My hip turned out to be in worse state after the surgery and its "correction" than it was before all that...

I know, muscle tension in spastic cerebral palsy...

I just can't cope with the regret... "What if..."

And it's so hard for me to trust doctors and dentists now...

It's somehow: "They botched my hip then, I don't want the other <they> to mess my teeth and gums up now!"

And I have two more teeth to be extracted: one, the rest of #7 bottom, left, after RCT and now cracked, and the other, my wisdom tooth on the right side, bottom. Both with abscess, I suppose...