L
LKRayne
Junior member
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2024
- Messages
- 3
- Location
- USA, MD
Hello, it's my first time posting...and it's a long story, I will try to be as brief but as thorough as possible. But ultimately, I am self diagnosing as suffering from PTSD and dental staff has just continuously made it worse...i don't even know what to do.
Around 7 years old, I was at a kids birthday party (for the record, I didn't want to go), and slipped. I broke my front tooth in half, and have small "fractures" on other teeth. From that time on, my front gums have always been slightly swollen, but nothing an avg person would say "Woah!" About.
They front tooth was always getting worked on, modified, etc. Gum swelling especially in that front area was still more swollen. In 5th grade I started orthodontic procedures. Around 6-7th grade my wisdom teeth were removed, Around 9-10th grade I had severe jaw surgery to fix a cross bite in the back, and help to realign front teeth (the center line of top and bottom still do not line up). Around 11th grade the front tooth had a root canal and another porcelain crown was placed. 12th grade braces finally came off.
Throughout the following years, dentists were always saying, your brushing too hard, you're brushing too much, flossing too much, flossing not enough, flossing the wrong way, you're over whitening, your gums are really irritated. One nice hygienist finally said, do you sleep with your mouth open? Yup sure do, and suggested I also had a dry mouth which may be causing the front gums to stay slightly swollen. But due to so far a life long mouth-centric life, I had become hyperfixated.
After college, I moved away and had to find a new dentist. My 2x/yr appt turned to 4x/yr. I couldn't do anything right...you're clearly not massaging your gums, it's the wrong flossing, wrong tooth brush, too hard too soft. Always something. She removed the crown that was placed and said that was causing the gum irritation around that tooth. And put in a new one. After that the retainers that I had been using no longer fit due to a new tooth and I just never thought to go see if she could make a new one.
When I became pregnant and still doing 4x/year she became increasingly upset that i wouldn't get xrays.....again, I was pregnant. Insurance then said I had maxed out. It wasn't until after my 2nd pregnancy, now with no dental insurance as a stay at home mom that right before birth she wanted me to go to a consult with a periodontist. By this time the dentist and hygenists were just belittling me, and i felt just horrible about my mouth. The perio suggested I wait until after birth and b. feeding. Well, as a new mom to 2 young kids, and a stay at home mom, my care was put on the back burner.
i had 0 dental work from 2015-2020, but felt that due to my fixation of dental care, water flossers, irrigation, mouth washes, flossing, etc i would be okay. I had no pain, just this continued swelling that ive now had since I was 7. But the thought of going back to a dentist would send me into a panic attack, and ive never had one. Hysterical crying, difficulty breathing, racing heart, and even typing this i have a lump in my throat the mental panic it sends me into. *my kids go to a dentist 2x/yr and I sit there and sweat waiting for bad news. It's become a hyper fixation on their teeth too.
Well then covid hit, dentist closed, and couldn't find a new one. Meanwhile, i was starting to notice the tooth with a crown was lower than the others. I painfully called around and I was put on a waiting list at 2 places for 14ish months, and it took me several times just to get on a waiting list, calling all these people crying. Im not emotional at all, i feel crazy, but its seriously THAT BAD. then finally got a call about an available appt another 8 months out. So I took it. And that brings me to 10 day ago.
I couldn't sleep the night before, then sat in the car crying before. The guilt, the anxiety, all emotions. I went to this place bc they offered sedation dentistry and acted crazy when I asked. I sat in the chair and they took 16 sets of xrays, minutes later the dentist sat down and said do you want the good or the bad. Said bad 1st. She told me the reason my crown had been "slipping out" was actually because my tooth was falling out of the bone...bc the bone between my 2 canines had disintegrated. She said I would #1 need to go into braces again, because wearing a retainer is life long....i wore it for 9-10years post orthodontic tx. I dont know anyone that wears one still...no one even suggested that, but acted like I was a complete moron for not doing so. Then said due to the teeth/bone I would need to see a specialist to see what teeth could be "salvaged" knowing for sure that 1 would need to come out. She then talked about a bone graft or transplant depending on what the referral would say, and then prep the area for an implant. I was obviously in hysterics, crying. She patted me on my shoulder and gave me a tissue.
She said the good news was that I had no decay, no cavities, and no excessive amount of plaque/tarter expected with someone that hasn't seen someone in several years. ...that didn't bring me joy. Upon the hygienist then coming in She states "you are the poster child of someone who got lucky with hard teeth, but because of bad oral care now may have to suffer the consequences" ....... wow. Like a dagger through the heart. All of my dental procedures have never been because of bad oral care, ever. I had that appt that day, they then scheduled me for later in the day to come back for a root planning and deep cleaning, and then back the following day for just a basic cleaning and polishing. The anxiety for days after, I couldnt be with my thoughts and ran out of tears. The shock, horror, fear, panic.
They referred me to a specialist, and that was today. They didn't get any of my chart from this new dentist of which within 24hrs had 3 appointments. They did all the xrays again, to then say I'm not really a candidate for invisalign because the bone is so gone, and I should have just worn retainers for the rest of my life. My xrays lit up with all the metal implanted in my face. And then she says, you have periodontitis, we would like to teach you proper oral care and see you back in 4 weeks to monitor, then go from there. No treatment, no changes, no medication, no special mouth washes, no...she wants to teach me to brush. I've not had a cavity, i got a pretty good report from the dentist regarding plaque/tarter... but the belittling. She then wants a CT scan, and said if they pull the tooth in hopes they can do an implant they will NOT be making a retainer with a tooth, or flipper bc they don't want any pressure on that gum for 4-6months if they need to bone graft or transplant...absolutely not. *speculation is they don't know what to do because of all the hardware in my face from surgeries...and how bone grafting will go If there is very little bone to grasp onto.
I'm sorry, but im late 30s, I'm not going to walk around with a missing tooth. The judgment already by DENTAL PROFESSIONALS on bad oral care would be nothing compared to normal people. It's in front of your face, it's the first thing people see, people judge. I've been through the absolute wringer with my mouth, at this point its more expensive than many cars, yet im so ashamed and embarrassed. My husband suspects they they've just never seen a case like mine, so saying come back in 4 weeks to check is just to give time to come up with some plan.
Ive done endless research with nih studies backing that bone loss can be caused by more than just advanced gum disease, but also by surgeries, trauma and even extreme orthodontic treatment like my 7 years. Which included being wired shut and then extensive use of rubber bands. I've been hyperfixated on my mouth all my life. To have people just say "oh bad oral hygiene"....really?! 0 compassion. 0 care. 0 understanding...and i dont think they try. But my xrays say it all, all the plates, screws, wire mesh, hooks. Only to go back in a month...and hope by magic a chronic issue that ive had since i was 7 is fixed? I spontaneously cry...writing this has been hard. Idk if I need support from other going through the same or what, or any words of wisdom to tell these people. Has anyone experienced this?! Am I the only one that gets these just outright cold/nasty people. My husband doesn't understand the severe anxiety, and he's afraid of heights, i told him it was like me asking him to climb to the top of the house and just jump off...that is the panic. He can't climb a step stool.
Things I do on a regular basis..
Oil pulling-alternate with a solution i ordered online, coconut oil, and castor oil.
Warm salt water rinse- Occasionally 1×/week,
Irrigation- with a concentrate Irrigation solution
Flossing- water floss then use a string dipped in tooth paste
Xylitol supplements and rinses.
Neem toothpaste at least 2x/day if not more (which i recently switched to from a very expensive fluoride toothpaste, just to see if it would help with bleeding...and it did almost immediately.)
i brush with a soft electic brush, then a harder regular brush.
Tongue scrape.
Am I missing anything you may suggest? I'm sorry this has been so long, it's been 31 years of dental procedures leading to severe anxiety around anything mouth/teeth related. I wanted to be as thorough and as quick as possible. Any tips, tricks, support, would be helpful. Xx
Around 7 years old, I was at a kids birthday party (for the record, I didn't want to go), and slipped. I broke my front tooth in half, and have small "fractures" on other teeth. From that time on, my front gums have always been slightly swollen, but nothing an avg person would say "Woah!" About.
They front tooth was always getting worked on, modified, etc. Gum swelling especially in that front area was still more swollen. In 5th grade I started orthodontic procedures. Around 6-7th grade my wisdom teeth were removed, Around 9-10th grade I had severe jaw surgery to fix a cross bite in the back, and help to realign front teeth (the center line of top and bottom still do not line up). Around 11th grade the front tooth had a root canal and another porcelain crown was placed. 12th grade braces finally came off.
Throughout the following years, dentists were always saying, your brushing too hard, you're brushing too much, flossing too much, flossing not enough, flossing the wrong way, you're over whitening, your gums are really irritated. One nice hygienist finally said, do you sleep with your mouth open? Yup sure do, and suggested I also had a dry mouth which may be causing the front gums to stay slightly swollen. But due to so far a life long mouth-centric life, I had become hyperfixated.
After college, I moved away and had to find a new dentist. My 2x/yr appt turned to 4x/yr. I couldn't do anything right...you're clearly not massaging your gums, it's the wrong flossing, wrong tooth brush, too hard too soft. Always something. She removed the crown that was placed and said that was causing the gum irritation around that tooth. And put in a new one. After that the retainers that I had been using no longer fit due to a new tooth and I just never thought to go see if she could make a new one.
When I became pregnant and still doing 4x/year she became increasingly upset that i wouldn't get xrays.....again, I was pregnant. Insurance then said I had maxed out. It wasn't until after my 2nd pregnancy, now with no dental insurance as a stay at home mom that right before birth she wanted me to go to a consult with a periodontist. By this time the dentist and hygenists were just belittling me, and i felt just horrible about my mouth. The perio suggested I wait until after birth and b. feeding. Well, as a new mom to 2 young kids, and a stay at home mom, my care was put on the back burner.
i had 0 dental work from 2015-2020, but felt that due to my fixation of dental care, water flossers, irrigation, mouth washes, flossing, etc i would be okay. I had no pain, just this continued swelling that ive now had since I was 7. But the thought of going back to a dentist would send me into a panic attack, and ive never had one. Hysterical crying, difficulty breathing, racing heart, and even typing this i have a lump in my throat the mental panic it sends me into. *my kids go to a dentist 2x/yr and I sit there and sweat waiting for bad news. It's become a hyper fixation on their teeth too.
Well then covid hit, dentist closed, and couldn't find a new one. Meanwhile, i was starting to notice the tooth with a crown was lower than the others. I painfully called around and I was put on a waiting list at 2 places for 14ish months, and it took me several times just to get on a waiting list, calling all these people crying. Im not emotional at all, i feel crazy, but its seriously THAT BAD. then finally got a call about an available appt another 8 months out. So I took it. And that brings me to 10 day ago.
I couldn't sleep the night before, then sat in the car crying before. The guilt, the anxiety, all emotions. I went to this place bc they offered sedation dentistry and acted crazy when I asked. I sat in the chair and they took 16 sets of xrays, minutes later the dentist sat down and said do you want the good or the bad. Said bad 1st. She told me the reason my crown had been "slipping out" was actually because my tooth was falling out of the bone...bc the bone between my 2 canines had disintegrated. She said I would #1 need to go into braces again, because wearing a retainer is life long....i wore it for 9-10years post orthodontic tx. I dont know anyone that wears one still...no one even suggested that, but acted like I was a complete moron for not doing so. Then said due to the teeth/bone I would need to see a specialist to see what teeth could be "salvaged" knowing for sure that 1 would need to come out. She then talked about a bone graft or transplant depending on what the referral would say, and then prep the area for an implant. I was obviously in hysterics, crying. She patted me on my shoulder and gave me a tissue.
She said the good news was that I had no decay, no cavities, and no excessive amount of plaque/tarter expected with someone that hasn't seen someone in several years. ...that didn't bring me joy. Upon the hygienist then coming in She states "you are the poster child of someone who got lucky with hard teeth, but because of bad oral care now may have to suffer the consequences" ....... wow. Like a dagger through the heart. All of my dental procedures have never been because of bad oral care, ever. I had that appt that day, they then scheduled me for later in the day to come back for a root planning and deep cleaning, and then back the following day for just a basic cleaning and polishing. The anxiety for days after, I couldnt be with my thoughts and ran out of tears. The shock, horror, fear, panic.
They referred me to a specialist, and that was today. They didn't get any of my chart from this new dentist of which within 24hrs had 3 appointments. They did all the xrays again, to then say I'm not really a candidate for invisalign because the bone is so gone, and I should have just worn retainers for the rest of my life. My xrays lit up with all the metal implanted in my face. And then she says, you have periodontitis, we would like to teach you proper oral care and see you back in 4 weeks to monitor, then go from there. No treatment, no changes, no medication, no special mouth washes, no...she wants to teach me to brush. I've not had a cavity, i got a pretty good report from the dentist regarding plaque/tarter... but the belittling. She then wants a CT scan, and said if they pull the tooth in hopes they can do an implant they will NOT be making a retainer with a tooth, or flipper bc they don't want any pressure on that gum for 4-6months if they need to bone graft or transplant...absolutely not. *speculation is they don't know what to do because of all the hardware in my face from surgeries...and how bone grafting will go If there is very little bone to grasp onto.
I'm sorry, but im late 30s, I'm not going to walk around with a missing tooth. The judgment already by DENTAL PROFESSIONALS on bad oral care would be nothing compared to normal people. It's in front of your face, it's the first thing people see, people judge. I've been through the absolute wringer with my mouth, at this point its more expensive than many cars, yet im so ashamed and embarrassed. My husband suspects they they've just never seen a case like mine, so saying come back in 4 weeks to check is just to give time to come up with some plan.
Ive done endless research with nih studies backing that bone loss can be caused by more than just advanced gum disease, but also by surgeries, trauma and even extreme orthodontic treatment like my 7 years. Which included being wired shut and then extensive use of rubber bands. I've been hyperfixated on my mouth all my life. To have people just say "oh bad oral hygiene"....really?! 0 compassion. 0 care. 0 understanding...and i dont think they try. But my xrays say it all, all the plates, screws, wire mesh, hooks. Only to go back in a month...and hope by magic a chronic issue that ive had since i was 7 is fixed? I spontaneously cry...writing this has been hard. Idk if I need support from other going through the same or what, or any words of wisdom to tell these people. Has anyone experienced this?! Am I the only one that gets these just outright cold/nasty people. My husband doesn't understand the severe anxiety, and he's afraid of heights, i told him it was like me asking him to climb to the top of the house and just jump off...that is the panic. He can't climb a step stool.
Things I do on a regular basis..
Oil pulling-alternate with a solution i ordered online, coconut oil, and castor oil.
Warm salt water rinse- Occasionally 1×/week,
Irrigation- with a concentrate Irrigation solution
Flossing- water floss then use a string dipped in tooth paste
Xylitol supplements and rinses.
Neem toothpaste at least 2x/day if not more (which i recently switched to from a very expensive fluoride toothpaste, just to see if it would help with bleeding...and it did almost immediately.)
i brush with a soft electic brush, then a harder regular brush.
Tongue scrape.
Am I missing anything you may suggest? I'm sorry this has been so long, it's been 31 years of dental procedures leading to severe anxiety around anything mouth/teeth related. I wanted to be as thorough and as quick as possible. Any tips, tricks, support, would be helpful. Xx
. It doesn't sound like a great way to drum up repeat business, that's for sure! Not sure if this is of any use to you at this stage, but we've collected some tips for finding a dentist on these pages:
(which is more than can be said for most of us, lol). It's possible though that some of the things you're currently doing are not very effective, and other things are missing. For example, there's no evidence that oil pulling or salt water rinses do anything for gum health, and there's not much hard evidence that water flossing does, either. High fluoride toothpastes and xylitol are great for preventing cavities, but don't have an effect on gums/periodontal health.
) put up with her lack of bedside manner.
