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Ranting and worrying (very long post!)



Junior member
Aug 2, 2016
West Midlands
All of my life I've had problem teeth following a fall when I was 7 that smashed all of my front teeth, embedding them in my lips and forcing forming teeth higher into my gums. I had several dental surgeries to try to correct them but moving home when I was a child meant it never got fixed. I have struggled with gum disease and have been more and more embarrassed to go to dentists as I've aged. I even begged a dentist to take out all of my teeth and fit me dentures when I was 13. I've seen one or two nice dentists but have seen many more that haven't been so good. I've had wrong teeth extracted, been held down in a chair by a dental nurse and experienced pain I need not have.

After struggling with pain in my last upper molar in November last year I'd got to the stage where I knew I had to go and see someone. I was taking paracetamol, ibuprofen and codeine to get through the day. I made an emergency appointment and saw a local dentist. She told me the tooth had to be extracted but as I was in such a state she said she'd prefer to refer me to hospital for sedation. I asked for pain relief and she told me she couldn't prescribe anything. I managed to get through Christmas but the pain killers weren't working. I returned to the dentist who told me she hadn't referred me as I needed to have a regular appointment first. I asked her to it there and then. I also requested pain killers or treatment and she said she couldn't. Again I went home in pain. After another two weeks where the pain was horrendous I went back in as an emergency patient. I saw a different dentist who agreed to remove the tooth. He said the nerve was exposed and asked why I refused treatment previously?! He gave me an injection which was very painful and I later discovered had made a 5mm cut in my gum. He then sent me for an xray and then to the waiting room. I sat there for almost an hour getting more and more scared. When I returned he said he didn't see why I was having it removed and that he thought it would be better to have a filling! I asked him to do it as he'd already numbed the area and he said he couldn't as he wasn't my dentist and put a temporary filling in. That was the end of January.

Now I'd lost faith in the practice and worried about why two dentists said I needed it taking out but when it came to it, didn't want to extract the tooth. Did that mean it was too hard to do? I was also wondering why the first dentist didn't just put a temporary filling in to stop the pain until my sedation appointment arrived. So I looked online and found another dentist that had a page full of good reviews.

I decided to go and see this dentist while I waited for my hospital appointment and hopefully I could prevent further problems. It was a huge step for me to go when I didn't have to go with a problem. I went in May and told her I was scared and embarrassed. She did an examination and said I need to brush more. I felt awful! I do brush, floss and use corsodyl twice daily! I have a lower molar that has a huge cavity. I told her it wasn't painful and that it was the top one that had been excruciating but was ok now it was filled. She pushed on the filling and scraped at it - I thought it would come out and was tensed up anticipating the pain. She sent me for x-rays and said I have the start of a cavity between my lower left molars which would have to come out (why not filled?) and my lower right molar would need to come out (again why not filled?) but would be a difficult extraction. She said I didn't seem like I had a problem (I'd been on the verge of tears with my eyes shut, gripping the chair, squeezing my crossed legs, breathing fast with my heart hammering away and trying to think of anything but where I was the whole time I was there so I have no idea how she came to that conclusion.) She said she could have a go at extracting it but it wouldn't be pleasant! She said to go home and think about it. Obviously, after being told that I didn't want to return. I rang the original dentist to chase up my hospital appointment. They said the hospital had wrote to them saying I hadn't attended my appointment so I'll have to start over. You'd think the dentist would have contacted me to let me know so I could have sorted it out sooner. I've since chased it up and have an appointment for the end of September but it is a consultation only. Treatment could be a further couple of months away.

I'm also now getting pain in the upper molar again. It aches most of the time, it clicks and I get an occasional shooting pain up my face. I think it's the nerve because when it send the shooting pain it also feels like an electric shock and a jolt in my jaw. It's giving me a sore throat, affecting my sleep, my eating and drinking. I have spent the past two weeks looking at the NHS website reading reviews but even though I've found good reviews (not local but I'll travel) I am too scared to actually ring and book an appointment! I don't trust that I'll get a good dentist when I attend I suppose. I don't want the teeth removed at all if possible as I will have no upper molars left to chew with. We are also struggling with money. I have panic attacks and general anxiety disorder. I am embarrassed about my teeth, I get a horrible taste so I can imagine there's an odour which I'm embarrassed about. I'm embarrassed that I will look an idiot when I break down (which I've done a few times) I'm scared of the needle and I'm scared of the pain. When I think about it I end up in tears. I've spent hours at night pacing around, in tears and in pain. I know this will get worse and I know I don't want to go through the pain I was having back in January but I'm finding it almost impossible to do anything about it.


Well-known member
Forum Buddy
Jan 5, 2012
Hi :welcome:to the forum.

I understand how you are feeling and I think with good cause. You have been let down and treated badly by the dentists you have seen. I don't understand why they are not treating your aching tooth.

Did you get any appointments through the post to attend the hospital?

When you are referred the hospital send you an appointment not the dentist practice. If you don't want your teeth extracting tell them you want to keep your teeth if possible.

There is a find a dentist section on this forum have a look in there and see if there are any recommended that you could go to. They are recommended from people on this forum and have been tried and tested by people that are nervous like yourself.

Also you could try emailing a few dentists and explain how you feel and your problem and ask if they could help you. See what you get back and pick one to go and see.

Have you contacted the hospital yourself and asked if they could see you without being referred, some do.

I wouldn't want to see the first dentist you saw myself as I don't understand her not treating you in some way. As for the second one telling you it won't be pleasant, stupid person. I wouldn't have gone back either. It will be able to be dealt with by the right professional dentist that will put your needs first and will listen to you and treat you with respect and consideration. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::butterfly: