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Really anxious over dentis appointment



Junior member
Mar 8, 2016
So, a couple of weeks ago I was in for a checkup by my favourite hygienist (she keeps me calm enough not to freak out completely) and got a cleanup done as well as X-rays. Turns out I have a cavity in one of my wisdom teeth, and a suspected cavity in the other (I only have the upper ones) but that one needed to be looked at again. Tomorrow I'm scheduled to get either a filling or tooth extraction, depending on what the dentist finds to be the best solution.

There are a few problems with this. First of all, the dentist is male, and so was the dentist who caused my fear/phobia too. Ever since that happened around 15 years ago I've been much more nervous around male dentists. Secondly, I have had several teeth extracted as a child/teen and even though they were nice and gave me time to get fully numb, it scares me so much.

The cause for my fears is that the dentist didn't give me enough anaesthetic at first, and didn't wait long enough for it to numb it. When he gave me more anaesthetiv he didn't wait long enough again, and pulled a tooth even when I was basically screaming of pain and mercilessly squeezing the nurse's hand until I suspected I'd crush her bones...

To top it off, I have a mild to moderate fear of needles as well, and often feel like I'll be drowning in my own saliva, plus my gag reflex is quite sensitive. Also I am prone to being anxious and have had panic attacks in other situations, and "milder" anxiety attacks in dentist situations.

I'm already extremely nervous, I can't focus on anything, am crying a lot and feel like the doomsday is here or something, and it's really difficult for me to see this from any other perspective than the one of being subjected to a monster dentist... Although I know that it's irrational.
Before you allow the dentist to even have a look you need to explain as you have on here how you feel. If you think you will have trouble getting it all out then print off what you have written here and hand it to him.

If he is unwilling to listen or take your concerns seriously then ask to see someone else. Also let then know that you feel uncomfortable with a male dentist and ask to see a female.

I understand how you feel as do many on here. I wish you good luck for your appointment and hope it goes well, it is unusual for them to do an examination and treatment on the first visit. So I do think you may see him tomorrow and then have to go back for the treatment.
Hi river,

I know exactly how you feel I have a very real phobia of dentists and hate them with a passion. I'm a lot older and wiser now and if you don't feel comfortable with your dentist ask to have a female to see you and stick to your decision, before he even goes any where your mouth explain how you feel.

If you wanna feel better about your situation read my journal it takes guts and balls to sit in a dentists chair.

Hope it all goes well
Thank you for your replies!

I had already gotten the examination at the hygienist checkup, that's typically how it's done where I live - they do the checkup and take X-rays and then the dentist does any extra examinations right before doing what is needed. So that was already taken care of.

It turned out to be possibly the best dentist I've ever met, and the nurse was very empathic and supportive. I had told them beforehand that I am uncomfortable with male dentists, but I decided to take this time slot and this dentist because I wanted the procedure done before leaving for internship later on. I also had told them of my fear beforehand so that it is visibible in the data systems whoever treats me.

It was a very pleasant visit although I was quite scared. The dentist asked me to describe what my fears were based off of and I told him about the experience in my childhood where I had a tooth exracted without working local anaesthetic and that the dentist back then didn't stop even though I was in pain. He promised to make sure that I was completely numb before proceeding and that if I felt any pain at all I was to stop him so he could give more anaesthetic.

He gave me the shots, and the nurse held my hand, wiped away my tears and kept reminding me to breathe because I often forget to when I'm scared. Really sweet nurse! Then the dentist took another X-ray to make sure that the tooth would be able to be extracted without any problems. He said it looked great. Then he checked to see that I was numb, the nurse held my hand and I closed my eyes. I always find it less scary if I don't see the instruments.

Without realizing it, the tooth was gone and they rinsed my mouth and let me bite down on gauze. I felt a bit dizzy and very shaky at this point so they let me lie down and watch TV (they have a screen up in the ceiling) for 20 minutes before letting me go away. They didn't want me to fall and hurt myself on the way out.

All in all, the dentist was probably the best I've ever had! At least the best experience I had. He chatted with me a bit afterwards and he told me to be proud of myself and that I did really well and that I should keep this visit in mind next time. I still don't think I'll be having much less anxiety at the next visit, but maybe it will help me cope better..
Way to go! It is crazy how you get yourself all stressed out before and then when it's over, you see it wasn't like you imagined. Be very proud of yourself! I've had two wisdom teeth out without sedation-I did panic before but wasn't near as bad as I thought and had my last one done with sedation as it was below the gum line-I did panic before(more because I was worried about side effects) but I don't remember having the tooth out at all and I healed well, all 3 times. I had a root canal in Jan. and now need another next month-am stressing myself out even though the first one turned out well but I was worried as I really don't like the dental dam or how long it takes. I also need another crown, I don't really have the money but I really want to avoid an extraction if I can. Take it easy on yourself and be proud.
Yes, for me it has always been the anxiety before a visit that's really bad. Nightmares, irritability, sadness etc. And of course also all the times when I've felt like the dentist doesn't care. The staff had turned on the TV in the ceiling and turned on the radio with a calm talkshow on. Also, I know this may be a small thing, but they were wearing purple gloves instead of the typica white ones! It feels less creepy for me so I was grateful about that and really hope that a lot of dentists tag along and wear less of the white ones.

I do feel very proud. And happy that the aching is now more or less completely gone, I've had some issues with constant headache but that too is gone! I am thinking of sending a thank you card to the clinic. I've never experienced such good care anywhere else, really.

I'm not sure I'd be able to handle removing a tooth that's below the gumline, really. But it's great that you did! I admire people who go through with that kind of thing because I'd be absolutely terrified and probably end up not going through with it.

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