• Dental Phobia Support

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really need to visit a dentist but too afraid

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hellokitty

Junior member
Joined
Oct 28, 2022
Messages
4
Location
uk
hi everyone this is my first post :)
i am 18 years old and haven’t seen a dentist in probably 8 or 9 years ? i had a panic attack when i was supposed to go when i was probably 12 or so and the appointment was cancelled and since then my parents haven’t tried to make me another appointment. obviously i was grateful to not have to go at the time but now i very much regret it and wish i had gotten over myself and went. i did manage to work up the courage to ask my mum to make me an appointment over a year ago now, she agreed but forgot about it and my fear overwhelmed me again and i couldn’t ask again and i’m scared i’m just going to be forgotten about again, but my mum is the only person i would feel comfortable going with

my teeth are very crooked, specifically my front tooth and my canines so i have a lot of insecurity. i cant laugh without covering my mouth and i’m always hyper aware of my teeth when i’m speaking and smiling. no one has ever made fun of me for them except my sisters but that was a long time ago anyways and there has been nothing since then.

i also think i am losing the enamel on my teeth, though im not really experiencing any sensitivity. i think my gums are also receding and im very nervous some of my teeth are slightly loose and going to fall out. my jaw has also been weird for probably around 6 years now, locking and popping when i open it. it’s improved but it’s still an issue. i wasn’t taught the importance of flossing so i’ve only jsut started doing it in the last months. i won’t be surprised if i have gum disease on some level. also my gag reflex is unbelievably bad especially when i’m anxious. i’d sit in the chair open my mouth and gag already and if i gag too much then i’ll literally throw up and it will be a disaster

also i just have no idea what is normal with my mouth? there was a long period in around 2018 where i was genuinely convinced i had mouth cancer but still would not go to the dentist. basically accepted the fact i was going to die over going to a dentist (ridiculous right?) but i still honestly worry if i go to a dentist they will tell me i have it

reason i thought it is my hard palate is like a grey/white colour (though i have been told this is normal and can be caused by drinking cold things?) but i FREAKED out about it. also these like, lumps under my jaw. which i did in fact tell my mum about and my concerns but again she forgot to make me a doctor appointment :/

anyway sorry for the very long post. i really want to see a dentist soon. i want to get a job but i’m scared of being made fun of for my teeth. i know my confidence would improve so much if i just.. had normal teeth?? i could eat comfortably in public and laugh with my best friend without covering my mouth and feeling like she’s disgusted. i’m also worried about costs. now i’m 18 treatment will probably be expensive

okay i’m done sorry everyone 😭🫶 thank u for reading and if u can offer me any advice then it would be much much appreciated
 
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Imapparentlyhere

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2022
Messages
58
Location
UK
I'm honestly in the same situation, if you're in the UK try your best to find an nhs dentist, it should be free if you aren't working at the moment. Most of the waiting lists are quite long so you'll have time to prepare. If you're too nervous they will refer you to a community dentist. You got this 🤗
 
D

dentalnelly

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
21
Location
London, England
I have crooked teeth including a buck tooth and no one at work makes fun of me. I know that isn't going to make a whole lot of difference but I just wanted you to know that teeth are what they are and in the working world, people generally don't say anything because it's not appropriate to.

Seconding trying to see an NHS dentist if you can. You're only young and you shouldn't have to sit with all this anxiety and the sooner you get on top of it, the sooner you can manage it. Think of it this way, if you had a cold, you'd go to the doctor, right? Your teeth may be sick and they need a doctor. The doctor isn't going to judge, just try and help you with the right medicine.

Dentists have seen it all. Like...literally everything, that's their jobs and at 18, I highly doubt you rate even the top 100 worst mouths. I don't want this to come off harsh but we blow things up in our minds. I suffer from alopecia and the amount of people that have commented on my alternative hair is zero. None. People don't care. Your dentist doesn't care how you got there, just that they can help now. If they are rude about it, then say to them, what would you have me do? Not come? No dentist is going to say don't bother. Some just get frustrated because things are avoidable but any doctor who doesn't respect mental health isn't worth their salt imo. Says more about them than you. Look at Dr Gordon. He's out here answering questions left right and centre because he believes in helping people.

I know it's terrifying and scary but you can do this. I believe in you.
 
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hellokitty

Junior member
Joined
Oct 28, 2022
Messages
4
Location
uk
I'm honestly in the same situation, if you're in the UK try your best to find an nhs dentist, it should be free if you aren't working at the moment. Most of the waiting lists are quite long so you'll have time to prepare. If you're too nervous they will refer you to a community dentist. You got this 🤗
thank you <3 i still haven’t managed to ask and i’ve been pretty busy recently but aaahh the need to fix my teeth has been creeping up on me again !! im just so nervous about what they’ll say !! i wish u luck in seeing a dentist too !
 
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hellokitty

Junior member
Joined
Oct 28, 2022
Messages
4
Location
uk
I have crooked teeth including a buck tooth and no one at work makes fun of me. I know that isn't going to make a whole lot of difference but I just wanted you to know that teeth are what they are and in the working world, people generally don't say anything because it's not appropriate to.

Seconding trying to see an NHS dentist if you can. You're only young and you shouldn't have to sit with all this anxiety and the sooner you get on top of it, the sooner you can manage it. Think of it this way, if you had a cold, you'd go to the doctor, right? Your teeth may be sick and they need a doctor. The doctor isn't going to judge, just try and help you with the right medicine.

Dentists have seen it all. Like...literally everything, that's their jobs and at 18, I highly doubt you rate even the top 100 worst mouths. I don't want this to come off harsh but we blow things up in our minds. I suffer from alopecia and the amount of people that have commented on my alternative hair is zero. None. People don't care. Your dentist doesn't care how you got there, just that they can help now. If they are rude about it, then say to them, what would you have me do? Not come? No dentist is going to say don't bother. Some just get frustrated because things are avoidable but any doctor who doesn't respect mental health isn't worth their salt imo. Says more about them than you. Look at Dr Gordon. He's out here answering questions left right and centre because he believes in helping people.

I know it's terrifying and scary but you can do this. I believe in you.
thank you so much! this has really helped me with viewing the situation i think? i appreciate it :)
 
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Imapparentlyhere

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2022
Messages
58
Location
UK
@hellokitty I'm sure they won't say anything bad. Definitely try emailing to see if anybody is taking on patients if you have the time
 
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hellokitty

Junior member
Joined
Oct 28, 2022
Messages
4
Location
uk
@hellokitty I'm sure they won't say anything bad. Definitely try emailing to see if anybody is taking on patients if you have the time
thanks:) i mentioned it to my mum (who says she thinks she has an abscess so i guess she has to go to lol) but as she said it’s very hard right now to see a dentist because i don’t think many places are taking new people. but fingers crossed 🤞
 
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Imapparentlyhere

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2022
Messages
58
Location
UK
@hellokitty Yeah it definitely is, hope your mum sorts her abscess out!
 
A

adendum4567

Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2021
Messages
41
Location
usa
@hellokitty hi there. Have you gotten this looked at? It seems you want to but getting up the nerve due to shame is difficult.

I know *way* too much about this. But with you being young, you can nip this in the bud. If you still want to talk, reply here or DM me or read my story in my thread. Don't be like me, so ashamed for so long that your problems snowball.

Wishing you the best
 
M

Magicianscotty

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
29
Location
Ohio
As someone who has suffered his entire life with teeth issues (and no longer does) I can sympathize with you. But I can also tell you for a fact that all of these worries will be solved by a visit. You are stronger than you know. There are anxiety reducing things that can help, pain reducing things that can help. So I guess I’m telling you to look at yourself and reply telling us what it is you are truly afraid of. And if I am able to give you a solution to all of your concerns, then you will promise to go?
 
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