Really upset and frightened.

[Martha55]

Since this past December I have had an extraction, a bridge and a root canal. Last week I had my appt. to finish up the bridge and to have a back molar extracted (dentist wanted to do another root canal but I just can't go through it again) and the minute I sat down in the chair I started shaking and panicking and just had to leave. My next appt. is the 19th of this month and here I sit with a toothache, needing to get this stupid molar extracted and I just feel traumatized by what I have already gone through. You would think since I have already had multiple procedures done that I would be better able to cope, instead I am getting worse!

My dentist warned me at my last appt. that this back molar would act up again and so he prescribed an antibiotic and told me to start taking it the minute my tooth started hurting again. For a week it was doing okay and then naturally today it has started hurting again. Of course it is a holiday weekend and that gives me several days to ruminate on my fear and misery.

I think one of my worst triggers is the chair, or rather lying back in it...the dentist hovering over me....being trapped, feeling dizzyish and sick to my stomach...ugh. My heart pounds so hard, my body stiffens and I feel like I am going to panic!

This dental fear simply overwhelms me, it gets so bad that I get to the point where I cannot think about anything else except for my upcoming appt. and what is going to happen to me.

The dentist offers sedation, but I am too fearful to use it. He prescribed valium, but I am too fearful to use it as well. I just white knuckle everything and I really think it just imprints fear into your brain.

I am 55 years old and feel pretty ashamed of myself. But the fear is overwhelming.

 

[irmemac]

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering this fear, but I completely understand. A number of years ago, when I could not make myself go to the dentist, I used to often just sit and cry about the state of my teeth, and create all sorts of imaginary scenarios where a dentist would say they would have to cut away part of my jaw etc! The fear, and the fear of the unknown is very powerful, and you should not feel ashamed at all. You've already been though a lot of treatment, so please try to feel proud of yourself for that . An extraction is a difficult thought to face.... It just feels so permanent. I understand because I have a back molar that is grumbling, and my dentist says that it will need extracted in due course, when the grumbling no longer settles. At this point I cannot even imagine being able to even try to get it done like you did.

At the moment you can take the antibiotic which the entrust prescribed, and that should ease the pain for now. Could you perhaps try a very small dose of Valium some time before your next appointment, just to see how it makes you feel? I really hope you are able to find the bravery again which will make you go, because you have come so far. Is this the last treatment you need? Good luck

 

[coupondiva827]

I wish I could give you a hug. Medication/sedation is there for those that need it. I had a tooth extraction under NO and yes, I felt pain but I didnt care at all A little secret, while under NO, I didnt want to leave the chair (and I was the one bawling her eyes out in the waiting room). Maybe you could go into more detail about why you dont want sedation and those of us who have had it canhelp alleviate some of those fears.

 

[Spike 1969]

Hello and welcome.

you should definitely not feel ashamed, look how much you have already achieved on your journey thus far; believe me that takes courage, much Kudos and respect.


what sort of relationship do you have with your dentist? If he/she is patient and understanding (which many are nowadays, nothing like the majority used to be) perhaps it might be an idea to arrange to have a chat to them away from the surgery and try to find a way for you to be made to feel comfortable and more in control of the situation (personally I hate being tipped back, as I feel out of control of the situation and vulnerable so I ask the dentist to gradually recline the chair to a position that can be ok for both of us). I also like to have a stop signal agreed beforehand and to take frequent breaks in the proceedings.

What helps for me and might help you is to remember that we are the customer so what we say goes (within reason and if expressed politely of course) so that helps me to feel more in control and an active partner with the dentist as opposed to a passive recipient.

hope that the above is of help and that you manage to get sorted, you will feel so much better and stronger when you get to the end of your treatment, you are doing an amazing job thus far

 

[Martha55]

Thank you all for such sweet and helpful replies! I actually started my course of antibiotics last night (clindamyacin 300 mgs x 4 a day) which naturally makes me anxious simply because of the dire warnings printed on the bottle. Unfortunately, I think I tend to be just a really anxious person. I've suffered from panic and anxiety my entire life. When anything happens to me physically, like a bad headache or I find a bruise somewhere, I suddenly start obsessing about what could happen. In other words, I start at the cemetery and work my way backwards.

I think to some degree it is genetic, coupled with the fear of death and disease, feeling helpless and out of control and a grab bag of past traumatic experiences. You add it all together and you get a highly emotional phobic. But on the positive side (yes, I do believe one exists) I think people like me (us) is that we tend to be far more compassionate, creative and kind than those "normal" people.

But living this way can be very exhausting. It can really take the pleasure out of life because of the constant worrying. I seriously ruined the entire weekend for myself just by projecting into the future of what I have to face.

Why the fear of nitrous oxide or valium? I have no idea. Probably just because I have never done either and fear that I will be the one who has the horrible reaction to it...or worrying that it will kill me. I know how irrational this sounds...even as I type it I feel embarrassed.

One of my triggers is the fear of feeling light-headed, or dizzy. My panic attacks render me nearly catatonic because they make me dizzy and that feeling really terrifies me. So the idea of coming out from nitrous with a possible dizzy feeling would instantly lead to a panic attack...and nothing would be more horrible to me than to have a panic attack at the dentist office. And yet I envy those who can take something for their fears, because I can only imagine how much easier all of this would be.

My dentist wont be back in his office until Wednesday but I am going to go there this morning and just sit in the parking lot and try to condition myself to not feel so frightened. I have already gone through the majority of dental treatment and what is left is finishing my bridge (take the temporary off, file down the teeth and place the permanent one on) and then having this back molar extracted. All in all this entire thing would probably only require two hours at the most in the dental chair. But oh those two hours feel like climbing to the top of Mt Everest.

My dentist is a nice enough guy, he isn't the hand holding type but he isn't unkind either. At the beginning of my treatment (back in January) I discussed my fears, told him how phobic I was and he was certainly decent about all of it. And his office staff is very nice too.

I am a Christian and I do rely heavily on prayer, which is basically the glue that holds this neurotic phobic in one piece. I just wish I could get all of this over and done with...climb the mountain and get to the other side.

 

[Martha55]

Well...I called the dentist office and they are going to fit me in on Wednesday at 3:00. I guess I am going to have to just bite the bullet and get this done. I am terrified.

But I know this is only going to get progressively worse and then I will be in real trouble. Even now I think the right side of my face looks a little puffy, which worries me because I don't want to wake up with a golf ball sized lump on my face and a rampant infection.

I did start my antibiotics last night...do you think that will stave it off before it gets too bad? Ugh...now I am really obsessing about all of this...the anticipatory thoughts are just brutal.

I know I can do this...I know I have to do this...

 

[Martha55]

I wish I could give you a hug. Medication/sedation is there for those that need it. I had a tooth extraction under NO and yes, I felt pain but I didnt care at all A little secret, while under NO, I didnt want to leave the chair (and I was the one bawling her eyes out in the waiting room). Maybe you could go into more detail about why you dont want sedation and those of us who have had it canhelp alleviate some of those fears.

From what I have read the NO wears off very quickly...is that correct? Did you feel icky and confused afterwards? Do you feel like you cant breathe? It just really scares me!

 

[irmemac]

Well done, Martha! You sound so determined to go through with it despite your fear. I admire your attitude, and I'm sure you can do it. The antibiotics will kick in within a couple of days, so even if you are facing a little puffiness it will be relieved by them. I so understand what you said about every bump, bruise etc, and working backwards from the cemetery! I am a worrier too, by nature, and it causes us a lot of extra struggles in life, doesn't it?

You know you can do this, and there are plenty of us holding your hand (virtually) to help you through. Hope I can be as brave as you when my molar's time comes!

 

[Martha55]

Well done, Martha! You sound so determined to go through with it despite your fear. I admire your attitude, and I'm sure you can do it. The antibiotics will kick in within a couple of days, so even if you are facing a little puffiness it will be relieved by them. I so understand what you said about every bump, bruise etc, and working backwards from the cemetery! I am a worrier too, by nature, and it causes us a lot of extra struggles in life, doesn't it?

You know you can do this, and there are plenty of us holding your hand (virtually) to help you through. Hope I can be as brave as you when my molar's time comes!

Yes indeed, it does cause us a lot of extra struggles in life! I have normal people all around me and it can just be so exhausting to pretend that I am not obsessing about something or other all of the time. For instance, my husband came home from work today to pick up some paperwork, and I quickly and breathlessly announced rather grandly that I had upped my appointment to this Wednesday rather than two weeks from now. I have no idea what kind of reaction I was expecting, something similar to mine I suppose which would have been dramatic, but instead he said, "Oh good...just go in there and get it over with." Which granted is a normal response, but if this had been me I would have said something along the lines of..."Oh dear Lord...oh me, oh my..." and then I would probably fall on the floor and roll around in terror! He thinks going to the dentist is a pleasant experience, and once years ago he had to have an MRI and fell asleep in the claustrophobic chamber. Meanwhile I was out in the waiting room experiencing extreme anxiety and was reduced to tears...not for him...but for me in case I ever had to have an MRI too.

My dentist office is less than five minutes from my house, which is a good thing. At least I know I can get home quickly. My husband has offered to go with me but frankly he kind of makes me more nervous. I don't know why.

I think once I have actually glued myself in to the chair, and have gone through the numbing experience and then the shots, I will probably be okay...not pleasantly okay but rather a white-knuckle-heart-pounding-in-my-throat kind of acceptance. This is what usually has happened in the past. When you actually stop and think about it...once you are at this point you are practically fifty percent finished with the entire process. Also, we all know that euphoria after it's completed and we don't have to worry about it anymore. So that's something to look forward to, I guess.

I am going to ask if he can somehow work on my teeth without pushing the chair so far down. It makes everything worse when lying flat...you feel so vulnerable and helpless. I have a hard time asking for what I want and need...I am very soft-spoken and exceedingly polite and that causes its own set of anxiety issues.

I am also thinking of downloading a relaxation audio onto my phone, maybe that would help while I am in the chair? Music wouldn't relax me, and he does have a t.v. monitor on the wall that you can watch a movie but I never have because that wouldn't help me either. But maybe a hypnosis or meditation, guided imagery, etc. would be helpful.

Maybe I just need a great big sledge hammer to whack myself over the head with as well.

 

[irmemac]

I am so much like you!! Actually I wouldn't mind the sledgehammer approach... Solves so many problems! My husband is also one of those calm, laid back people. He just doesn't get me. You sound very focused and ready to go ahead, well done .

Regarding relaxation techniques.... Music doesn't work for me, but I had hypnosis at the dental hospital in order to be able to cope with going. It must have worked, because after about six years of not going I went on my own and got 7 teeth removed in one go with only injections! That was 24 years ago. I have never missed a single appointment since then, and although very anxious I have been able to keep making myself go. I have had lots of root canals and fillings. The other thing which I would say is vital is to have a good relationship with your dentist. That can take a bit of time, but helps a lot.

 

[emmad85]

Martha, I felt similar to you about sedation, but I spoke to my GP about this and she gave me a small prescriptionprescription of diazepam to try out on my own at home first, to see how it felt and gauge the dosage (different people toleratecdifferent strengths) and then she gave me another prescription to.take an hour before my dental appointments. It doesn't make me feel unaware or dizzy or out of control but it just has a weird calming effect that seems to make it all seem a little less terrifying. I would definitely recommend it.

 

[phobiaman]

I can help you i specialize in dental phobia, have helped many people, I am certified practitioner and my technique works really well.