Really upset over my visit...

[desiree463]

I went to the dentist today, which scares me to death, because my jaw hurts. Well it's been a while. I get there and he looks in my mouth and says "you have a lot of cavities. Like in every tooth" which freaked me out. I was already really freaked out, pretty much hysterical, and that just brought me to tears. I am absolutely terrified of needles. Like I had one of the worst panic attacks I have ever had out in the car after. So now, I have to have a "new patient appointment" which I have been putting off, and then after that they'll develop a "treatment plan" and tell me how many fillings I need. I'm so damn scared right now, I really feel like being sick to my stomach. Any ideas at all how to get through this? He gave me a script for Ativan for the day of the appointment and they talked about using the Nitrous Oxide, but I'm so scared I can barely function right now. Any ideas? Support? Please? Oh did I mention, this is my first time getting a filling.... ever? They pulled all but 4 of my baby teeth when I was a kid, so I never even got the chance to get a filling.

 

[drummerswife]

Hi Desiree,
WELCOME !
My heart goes out to you as read your story. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have been where you are and its a terrifying place. I have written the story of own dental journey in detail here and I invite you to read it if you like along with the story of many others who have also been where you are.
In short, I will share with you that I was seriously traumtized by previous dentists as a child and adolescent which left me with a terror of dentist that was so overwhelming that I could not bear even the thought of dentists. I congratulate you for your courage in going to trhis appoinment. That is more than I could have done. For me, even the mention of a dentist was enough to panic me.

When I was dating my husband he mentioned one day he had a dental appointment and causually asked me who my dentist was. I snapped at him "I dont do dentists!" Having no fear himself, he did not undertstand my hostile response but knew enough that it was a bad subject and he never mentioned it again until after we got married. After months of persistent and loving persuasian he finally talked me into seeing his nice lady dentist. The visit was a disaster. I was so hysterical the dentist could do nothing with me. Pulling my husband out into the hall she asked him what was going on. Confused and and bit frightened himself by my hysteria, he told her he had no idea. The dentist said it was clear to her that something terrible had been done to me and I was going to need special help. She referred me to another female dentist who specializes in working with terrified patients.
If you read any of my posts, you will read a lot about this lady who has been my dentist for the past year and has changed my life forever.

Ask yourself this question: Are you comfortable with this dentist? I absolutely believe that the single greatest way to face your fear of the dentist is to find one that is sensitive, experienced, and knowlegable about the needs of people with dental phobia. If you read other posts here, you will hear this echied in many of them. Finding the right dentist is step #1 in dealing with this. One way to do this is to google dentist in your area that work with this issue. The yellow pages are also a good place to look.
Step #2 is having an honest conversation with the dentist about your fears and concerns.
Step #3 is developing an individual treatment plan to address BOTH your emotional needs and your dental needs. A dentist who is experienced in this issue will be very willing to do this.
Know that you do not have to continue with any dentist that you do not feel comfortable with. You are paying them for a service. Therefore, they are, in essence, working for you. And you have the right to ask for and receive whatever it is that makes you feel comfortable and safe.
Hope this helps

 

[funnyc]

Hi Desiree,
WELCOME !
My heart goes out to you as read your story. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have been where you are and its a terrifying place. I have written the story of own dental journey in detail here and I invite you to read it if you like along with the story of many others who have also been where you are.
In short, I will share with you that I was seriously traumtized by previous dentists as a child and adolescent which left me with a terror of dentist that was so overwhelming that I could not bear even the thought of dentists. I congratulate you for your courage in going to trhis appoinment. That is more than I could have done. For me, even the mention of a dentist was enough to panic me.

When I was dating my husband he mentioned one day he had a dental appointment and causually asked me who my dentist was. I snapped at him "I dont do dentists!" Having no fear himself, he did not undertstand my hostile response but knew enough that it was a bad subject and he never mentioned it again until after we got married. After months of persistent and loving persuasian he finally talked me into seeing his nice lady dentist. The visit was a disaster. I was so hysterical the dentist could do nothing with me. Pulling my husband out into the hall she asked him what was going on. Confused and and bit frightened himself by my hysteria, he told her he had no idea. The dentist said it was clear to her that something terrible had been done to me and I was going to need special help. She referred me to another female dentist who specializes in working with terrified patients.
If you read any of my posts, you will read a lot about this lady who has been my dentist for the past year and has changed my life forever.

Ask yourself this question: Are you comfortable with this dentist? I absolutely believe that the single greatest way to face your fear of the dentist is to find one that is sensitive, experienced, and knowlegable about the needs of people with dental phobia. If you read other posts here, you will hear this echied in many of them. Finding the right dentist is step #1 in dealing with this. One way to do this is to google dentist in your area that work with this issue. The yellow pages are also a good place to look.
Step #2 is having an honest conversation with the dentist about your fears and concerns.
Step #3 is developing an individual treatment plan to address BOTH your emotional needs and your dental needs. A dentist who is experienced in this issue will be very willing to do this.
Know that you do not have to continue with any dentist that you do not feel comfortable with. You are paying them for a service. Therefore, they are, in essence, working for you. And you have the right to ask for and receive whatever it is that makes you feel comfortable and safe.
Hope this helps

Desiree-this awesome woman has been a huge source of support to me. I second anything she says.
I hope you find a good fit.

 

[JPnewSmile]

Desiree,

I hope you will be able to understand what I am about to say, it's only now, after I had 14 teeth extracted in April, and now I am fitted with a upper and lower partial. The simple fact that you still are at the stage of "fillings" is fantastic compared to my situation where I was beyond the "fillings" and was forced to have most of my teeth extracted. So if there is any comfort with your situation, look at it this way, "I could be worse" you were brave enough to go now, while you still have a chance of saving your teeth, so please try and move forward to getting them filled. A filling is nothing compared to the 17 shots of novicane I had to remove one tooth which had very long roots. Looking back on the past 7 months of my dental treatment, all I can say is I wish I was in your shoes, I wish I had the courage to have gone to the dentist years ago, maybe now I would still have my natural teeth. If I could do it all over again, I would force myself to face my fear, you're on the right track. If you don't like the dentist, or if the dentist is not sympathetic to our "dental phobia" find another dentist. You're cheating yourself of having a good experience -vs- a bad experience. Had it not been for my fantastic wonderful dentist and the staff, I would have never made it through my ordeal. Be brave, fillings are nothing compared to extraction, and losing your natural teeth. Deep within this bad, bad situation that you are going through lies a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Do not let your fear keep you from the work that is needed, you took the first and hardest step, you went to the dentist. Keep us posted, I'm rooting for you !
Jay in Michigan

 

[drummerswife]

Hi Jay,
I was really moved by your post. Your story is a shining example of the gift of perspective. And I hope Desiree and others who read your post can understand the point you make.I didnt lose the number of teeth you did but like you, I wish I could have somehow summmoned the courage to face my terror and go to the dentist before 5 of my teeth were beyond saving resulting in 3 oral surgeries, before I developed gum disease, before I needed 4 crowns to save my other teeth. And as I am sure you have experienced as well, there is a heavy financial price to be paid for all this. My dental bills just last year alone have been substantial and we're not done yet. My husband and I will be paying for my teeth for some time to come.

 

[vistana]

Hi

I have been in the same boat as you, can I suggest you ensure you've got a dentist you like and trust.
I have used several, I don't have alot of money but I only go private as I can choose the best person and can go for treatment as and when I feel confident. (Most have payment plans or I just wait until I've saved up)
I use a laser dentist who does any filling without the use of needles or drills. For me its important to only have white fillings (as you then can have them replaced if ever nessacary in the future, whereas mercury fillings always need the drill etc to remove plus there are health risks.) They are also set straight away so you can have a drink and food after - usually I'm starving as I get so stressed that I don't eat for about a day before.
I also have a dentist who uses Ozone who is good.
I switch between the two if I ever require treatment ozone is my first choice but when thats not suitable I use the lasers.
I recently read about cold plasma which is hopefully going to be ready to use in the next 3 years and are supposed to stop the need for fillings. Which is great for my child as I hope it will prevent the need of having distress or pain caused by the dentist.

Has the dentist said about the size of the fillings required?
I would recommend either using ozone or a laser dentist and when you are ready have a small filling done first. Ignore the dentist if they suggest doing half a mouth at a time unless you are having injections as I think its better to have one at a time and slowly feel ok with whats happening than to do a few at once which I find freak me out too much. For me its also scary to have things put in my mouth and hold my mouth open so doing one at a time is managable for me. Also your jaw doesn't ache after from holding your mouth open and being tense.
I still always take my Dad with me (I think if you're scared you should take someone you trust to hold your hand) and I insist that the dentist talks through the process with me, but quite a few dentists now have tv's on the cellings so you might be able to distract yourself with that.

Good Luck and only go at your own speed!
Be strong and be in control, explain to the dentist you accept their advice but make sure you take time before booking appoinments etc and ensure they talk through everything involved in the procedure (possibly even write it down) so you know what to expect and also ensure you have a signal that ensures the dentist stops when you say and make it clear that it has to be done in that instant!