Sad and Bleeding :(- Long Post

[shamrockerin]

Sorry for the kinda gross title of this thread, but it's accurate to what;s going on.

Ever since I started back to dentistry last May, I have been killing myself trying to get my teeth and gums healthy. brushing and flossing 2-3 times a day, using mouthwash, rinsing w/ hydrogen peroxide/water mix, not drinking pop, chewing sugarless gum, etc.

I thought for sure when I went for my cleaning a couple days ago that my mouth would be sparkling clean and 100% healthy. I was really upset when they hygienist scolded me for not keeping my wisdom teeth cleaner- "It's not like I'm not trying!!!!" I wanted to scream at her. She kept stabbing at my gums with the pick and I kept jerking my head away to indicate that she was hurting me. I have many more nasty things I want to say to her, but I was too upset then to say a whole lot.

She gave me a special brush so that i can try and clean behind the wisdom teeth, and I have been using it, but it makes me gums bleed alot back there. I feel like such a failure. I was trying so hard to have healthy teeth and gums and now I feel like I was fooling myself all these months because when I clean behind my wisdom teeth, i end up spitting out alot of blood.

I don't know if I am more upset that the hygienist hurt me (my gums and my feelings) or if I am more upset at myself for failing to clean behind my 3rd molars properly.

I chose to keep my wisdom teeth b/c they came in nice and straight and didn't cause any problems. And since one of my reg. molars is a goner, I also decided to keep as many teeth as I can in my mouth.

But I was nearly in tears seeing all that blood come out of my mouth while I was brushing this evening and I feel awful now.

 

[kitkat]

I'm so sorry for the tough time you are having lately Shamrockerin . It was very unfair of the hygienist to treat you the way she did. I have had some evil and torturous hygienists in my past so I can very much relate to your experience. One of them was named "Mercy" which I found extremely ironic! Throughout most of my childhood years I associated hygienists with pain and bleeding gums and scaling still makes me very shaky but things have gotten better since my current dentist does all of the scaling herself and uses the ultrasonic device. You have been doing the best that you can to the best of your knowledge and no doubt your mouth is in better condition than it would have been had you not taken those measures. What's important is you are aware of the problem now and you are working at improving the condition around that tooth. Wisdom teeth are known to be trouble-makers for keeping clean. The bleeding will stop eventually and probably looks much worse than it really is because the blood is mixing with saliva and water. I see it as a sign of healing though it just needs to get a little worse before it gets better. Once I had food stuck in a tooth and I was only able to get it out with a water pik and it bled and bled and bled and I was completely freaking out. I was actually shocked at the amount of blood but then it stopped and healed and never had another issue with it. My point of that story is that the amount of blood is not always an indication of severity of the condition...the mouth doesn't work that way. It does not take a lot of trauma to cause a lot of bleeding. Stay strong!

 

[brit]

Shamrockerin
Never see that hygienist again. Complain to your dentist about her (assuming he is a good guy). Get a new hygienist/dentist. (delete as appropriate). Makes me so cross on your behalf.

 

[shamrockerin]

Thank you both for your support. It is very appreciated and I do feel lucky to have people who understand how I feel.

The good news is that this morning when I brushed behind my wisdom teeth, there was less bleeding so it must be improving a little already. I guess I am grateful that 1) I went to my cleaning and didn't cancel and 2) that the hygienist told me about the problem so I can try to rectify it.

But I am still upset that she wouldn't stop poking at my gums, even after I jerked my head away. She told me that since there was alot of build-up back there, that it was making my gums red and tender. . .I guess that indicates to her "Yes, please stab at them with a metal hook!" She also told me that if she didn't try to clean them, that she wouldn't be helping me, which is fair enough I guess. I mean, that IS her job, to clean teeth. But I think she should have stopped, or tried a different technique when I indicated that it hurt.

I am in a bind now because I was getting used to my dentist's office and the dentist himself, but I don't want to see the hygienist again, and she is the only one there. I had built up a minimum level of comfort there, hence sending the holiday card to the office, but now I don't want to go back.

 

[carole]

Don't let this hygienist spoil the progress you have made already. Tell the dentist you aren't going to see her again but would like to continue your treatment with him in the future.

She could have numbed you up so that it wouldn't have hurt. Sadistic person, she knows this.

Sorry you have had all this, don't let here set you back and have you back where you were, the dentist has been so good and does not deserve her to ruin the work he and you have put in. Tell him.

Best wishes to you

 

[shamrockerin]

Thank you, Carole.

Has anyone else here gone to one office for dental treatment, and another office just for cleanings???

No that I plan to have alot of dental treatment in the near future, but if I do need something done, I'd like to go back to the same guy b/c he knows my history now, he knows how far I came (from barely letting him touch my teeth to getting all the fillings done). . .plus I'm just used to him now.

But I cannot seem to get comfortable with the hygienist; would it be weird to try a different office, just for cleanings?

 

[Dave48]

Did not read all your post but hope you feel better soon.


Dave.

 

[lillyh]

Shamrockerin,
I'm sure alot of people go to a dentist for all their dental treatment and then somewhere else for cleanings..I'm fortunate to have a dentist who actually is the person who cleans my teeth..The hygenists just polishes them afterward..Ask if your dentist if he plans on getting the ultrasonic method of teeth cleaning ..then the hygenist can not be mean to you.. I had a wisdom tooth way in the back corner and I never could get all around it to clean since it was at a wierd angle.Everytime I'd brush and floss I'd bleed alot...Sometimes no matter how hard we try to clean it just isnt possible..The dentist said he knew that had to be hard to clean..So he suggested I have it removed..So I did ..Now my gums don't bleed over there...Hope you feel better soon....

 

[shamrockerin]

I'm sure alot of people go to a dentist for all their dental treatment and then somewhere else for cleanings..I'm fortunate to have a dentist who actually is the person who cleans my teeth..The hygenists just polishes them afterward.

I guess it just seems a little strange that the office would be OK with me getting my teeth cleaned at a diff. dentist. . .it also feels weird to me, like it's disloyal or something??? Perhaps that's not quite the right word, but I just feel disappointed that I came so far at that office, and now they're letting me down.

I had a wisdom tooth way in the back corner and I never could get all around it to clean since it was at a wierd angle.Everytime I'd brush and floss I'd bleed alot...Sometimes no matter how hard we try to clean it just isnt possible..The dentist said he knew that had to be hard to clean..So he suggested I have it removed..So I did ..Now my gums don't bleed over there...Hope you feel better soon....

I am too terrified to get my wisdom teeth removed, especially if there's no serious concern. And since I just got fillings in them a few months ago to preserve them, it'd seem like I spent that $ and endured those appointments for nothing if I got them removed now. I am going to keep brushing them as best as I can w/ the tiny little brush and hopefully they'll stop bleeding.

 

[kitkat]

I guess it just seems a little strange that the office would be OK with me getting my teeth cleaned at a diff. dentist. . .it also feels weird to me, like it's disloyal or something??? Perhaps that's not quite the right word, but I just feel disappointed that I came so far at that office, and now they're letting me down.

It's complicated because most dentist offices (in the states at least) combine cleanings and exams. Those appointments determine the work you need done in the future. I don't know if an office would gladly only do cleanings and possibly exams and send you to another dentist to receive the work or agree to only do cleanings and allow someone else to do exams and work and vice versa in the case of your current dentist to allow you to attend elsewhere for cleanings and only agree to do appointments for exams and work...it's a major conflict of interest. Any chance your dentist could do the cleanings? Or at least the scaling part? This hygienist sounds like someone who is focused on getting "the job" done despite patient comfort. She had no right to continue when you were in obvious pain and discomfort.

 

[chickenjen]

Reading your post has made me feel so fortunate that I have BOTH a dentist AND hygienist who are both concerned for my comfort.
In fact, I am LESS nervous come cleaning appointments because she has been THAT gentle with me.
I agree with kitkat, is there any way you could ask the dentist to do the cleanings? At least the part with the scaler/scraper whatever that metal thing's name is that they use?
's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[shamrockerin]

is there any way you could ask the dentist to do the cleanings? At least the part with the scaler/scraper whatever that metal thing's name is that they use?

Well I was pretty upset when I left the office, so i didn't schedule another cleaning. The receptionist asked me if I wanted to set up my next appointment and I just said "No" very bluntly. The hygienist was sitting right next to her as I checked out, so I have no idea if anything was said after I left. Maybe the hygienist told her that the cleaning didn't go well after I was out the door, or perhaps they just chalked it up to the giant chip on my shoulder (when it comes to dentistry).

So I didn't schedule another cleaning but the receptionist said she'd call in a few months to remind me. . .if she does call, then perhaps I will ask if there is anyone else that could do the cleaning. I'd hate to leave the office and start all the way at the beginning in a new one, but I am still really upset about that appointment, and I have no desire to see that woman again.

 

[shamrockerin]

It's complicated because most dentist offices (in the states at least) combine cleanings and exams. Those appointments determine the work you need done in the future. I don't know if an office would gladly only do cleanings and possibly exams and send you to another dentist to receive the work or agree to only do cleanings and allow someone else to do exams and work and vice versa in the case of your current dentist to allow you to attend elsewhere for cleanings and only agree to do appointments for exams and work...it's a major conflict of interest. Any chance your dentist could do the cleanings? Or at least the scaling part? This hygienist sounds like someone who is focused on getting "the job" done despite patient comfort. She had no right to continue when you were in obvious pain and discomfort.

Unfortunately, I figured that it was an unlikely plan to get treatment at one office and cleanings at another. I knew there'd be some conflict of interest (which is the phrase I was searching for earlier, so thank you). It's a small office, so usually when the hygienist is seeing someone, the dentist is also working on someone in the other room. I don't know if he cleans anyone's teeth himself.

 

[lillyh]

shamrockerin,
Maybe it's time to have a private talk with the dentist and explain your situation..Maybe both of you can come up with a solution..I'm sure he doesn't want to lose you as a patient.....Be honest...Tell him you aren't satisified with the hygentist's way of cleaning your teeth and it hurts....

 

[shamrockerin]

shamrockerin,
Maybe it's time to have a private talk with the dentist and explain your situation..Maybe both of you can come up with a solution..I'm sure he doesn't want to lose you as a patient.....Be honest...Tell him you aren't satisified with the hygentist's way of cleaning your teeth and it hurts....

Thank you Lily, and to everyone who has chimed in here. It really does help just saying/writing all this stuff and getting it out of my head and hearing/reading some genuinely thoughtful suggestions.


Like I said, I think I am just disappointed that the office let me down after all I went through. They know I am very phobic, and even if they forgot, I have written 2 letters explaining my fears and a little bit about my past experiences, so I just assumed that they'd take care to be "extra gentle" with me so as to not scare me away and cause an avoidance relapse. I even made that Christmas card to express my thanks for their patience with me because I know I am a bad patient.

If/when the receptionist calls in a few months, I guess I can inquire if there is someone else I could see for a cleaning- I already feel like the biggest baby though, so I feel like that would just reinforce that perception. I am not sure what i am going to do right now, but at least I have 6 months to decide.

Actually since I have 2 insurance plans, the receptionist informed me that I could get 4 cleanings a year. If I liked the hygienist, I would consider doing it just to make myself more used to getting my teeth cleaned, and to keep them healthy. . .but after that cleaning I there was no way I was coming back in 3 months. When the receptionist asked me if I wanted to try 4 cleanings per year, I just looked at he and said "Do you remember who you're talking to?"

I try hard to be polite and professional, but I was just ready to get out of there.

 

[brit]

shamrockerin,
Maybe it's time to have a private talk with the dentist and explain your situation..Maybe both of you can come up with a solution..I'm sure he doesn't want to lose you as a patient.....Be honest...Tell him you aren't satisified with the hygentist's way of cleaning your teeth and it hurts....

The above is good advice. It is the dentist's responsibility to ensure you receive comfortable care in his office so that you return. If he can't be arsed then you need to find a more caring practice anyway. I expect you could pay him to numb you up and clean.
Many of us have had issues like this with hygienists btw. You are not alone. Fortunately often the painless dentists also employ the painless hygienists but not always. This is a common problem, easily remedied by using local anaesthetic and changing hygienist but if she is the only one - you can only stay if he will clean for you instead.

Write a letter to him and start looking for a new back up practice. Do not wait till you get a call in 3 months. It's not just the unnecessary pain she caused you, it was the whole judgemental attitude that should be such a 'NO, NO' thesedays. Biatch. Wouldn't let her within an inch of my teeth.

 

[kitkat]

Unfortunately, I figured that it was an unlikely plan to get treatment at one office and cleanings at another. I knew there'd be some conflict of interest (which is the phrase I was searching for earlier, so thank you). It's a small office, so usually when the hygienist is seeing someone, the dentist is also working on someone in the other room. I don't know if he cleans anyone's teeth himself.

I also go to a very small office like yours. I think my dentist just hired a hygienist to take on more complex perio cases for deep cleanings and probing but for a long time she only had assistants who would polish teeth and she would do all of the scaling herself and would just pop in to do the scaling/exam in between working with patients for filling or crowns or whatever. Also during times when they got behind or very busy the dentist has done the entire cleaning herself to speed things along so it's not impossible; in fact, my dentist did the cleaning herself on my last appointment and was cleaning someone else's teeth last time I was there. They could just schedule two patient's for cleanings at the same time and the hygienist could be with someone while the dentist is working with you...if the dentist agrees that is. Like others have said, I doubt the dentist would want to lose you as a patient over this. I would have a conversation with him about it
to see if he can resolve the situation for you or as brit has said you can write another letter.

 

[shamrockerin]

The above is good advice. It is the dentist's responsibility to ensure you receive comfortable care in his office so that you return. If he can't be arsed then you need to find a more caring practice anyway. I expect you could pay him to numb you up and clean.
Many of us have had issues like this with hygienists btw. You are not alone. Fortunately often the painless dentists also employ the painless hygienists but not always. This is a common problem, easily remedied by using local anaesthetic and changing hygienist but if she is the only one - you can only stay if he will clean for you instead.

Write a letter to him and start looking for a new back up practice. Do not wait till you get a call in 3 months. It's not just the unnecessary pain she caused you, it was the whole judgemental attitude that should be such a 'NO, NO' thesedays. Biatch. Wouldn't let her within an inch of my teeth.

Thank you Brit. I really don't think that a clean and polish should require local anesthetic, and since I freak out about needles, I wouldn't ask for it anyways. But I guess she could have at least offered some topical on the parts of my gums that were sore.

It was a bad surprise that anything should have been sore anyways- as I said, I've been trying so hard to get my mouth clean and healthy and my gums never bleed when I brush and floss, so I wasn't anticipating any blood or pain at the cleaning.

I was actually expecting her to be over-enthusiastic like "Wow- your teeth are looking great!" since at my 2nd cleaning she told me I had "beautiful teeth" and that was before I started my strict brushing and flossing regime. I didn't believe her when she said that because I still had a mouthful of unfilled cavities, so I knew there was no way my teeth looked "beautiful". . .but after all I went through this past year getting my teeth treated and taking better care of them myself, I was kind of blind-sided by her attitude and the painful cleaning.

 

[shamrockerin]

I also go to a very small office like yours. I think my dentist just hired a hygienist to take on more complex perio cases for deep cleanings and probing but for a long time she only had assistants who would polish teeth and she would do all of the scaling herself and would just pop in to do the scaling/exam in between working with patients for filling or crowns or whatever. Also during times when they got behind or very busy the dentist has done the entire cleaning herself to speed things along so it's not impossible; in fact, my dentist did the cleaning herself on my last appointment and was cleaning someone else's teeth last time I was there. They could just schedule two patient's for cleanings at the same time and the hygienist could be with someone while the dentist is working with you...if the dentist agrees that is. Like others have said, I doubt the dentist would want to lose you as a patient over this. I would have a conversation with him about it
to see if he can resolve the situation for you or as brit has said you can write another letter.

Like I said, I suppose I can ask about someone else doing the cleaning but it seems that nowadays, most dentists prefer to have the hygienists do the cleaning and polishing and they can do more complex/lucrative procedures themselves simultaneously. The reality of it doesn't bother me at all- they do have a business to run and I understand why this practice has become the norm, but I just wish there was another hygienist at the office so I could request a diff. one and still stay w/ the same doctor.

I honestly have no idea what his reaction would be if I brought this up (either in letter form or in person)- maybe he'd be willing to work with me, or maybe he'd just recommend that i go someplace else. No idea.

 

[brit]

I honestly have no idea what his reaction would be if I brought this up (either in letter form or in person)- maybe he'd be willing to work with me, or maybe he'd just recommend that i go someplace else. No idea.

He deserves to know that she has upset you. It is then up to him to decide how to proceed. It could be that you are not the first patient she has upset.