• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is very afraid of dentistry or who suffers with dental phobia. Please note that this is NOT a dental problems forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Scared out of my mind

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Anxiousasallheck_

Junior member
Joined
Jan 19, 2023
Messages
7
Location
California
Hi. I’m new here. I’ve checked periodically over the years on this forum just to tell myself that I’m not the only person on the world that feels the way I do. I’m incredibly embarrassed to even say this to a bunch of strangers-I will be turning 45 in a week and I haven’t been to the dentist since I was very young. I remember telling my mom when I was like in middle school that I felt I should go…and she basically ignored me or made some snarky comment…
My parents were much older than al my friends parents at that time (and even now) so it was a different generation…I don’t want to blame them for everything!
Somewhere from middle school to high school my general anxiety got ridiculously out of control (and never got better) so I have an irrational fear of the dentist. As I got older my bottom teeth got worse…I think about them 24/7. I don’t even know how I have friends and a family with how bad my teeth are! I feel ashamed and like a horrible person for not handling them sooner.
Jump to me cracking a tooth and it falling out recently..no pain. I have been looking for dental phobia friendly dentists and I think I found one…but I am TERRIFIED. Like I read some of these stories and I’m like omg…will I be able to cope?!? I feel the dentist will take one look and run, screaming. Plus tell me there is no hope for me.
Any advice or just general conversation would be appreciated. Thanks!
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
676
Location
US
Plus tell me there is no hope for me.

This, my friend, is where I must disagree: not only is there hope, there is every reason for hope.

I am glad you posted, and hope you feel welcome.

We are only as sick as our secrets, so we’ll done for getting all that out.

You are, indeed, facing some difficult situations. Fortunately, you wholly admit to what is happening, so you’re ahead of lots of people.

Posting here is a step on your journey to dental happiness. You may not believe it this minute, but trust me that you are further along in this journey than you realize.

Please do keep us posted.
 
NervousUSA

NervousUSA

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2022
Messages
167
Location
USA
@Anxiousasallheck_ Don't be embarrassed, I think you are actually really normal. I heard from a dentist once that they thought half of all americans don't ever see the dentist. I didn't go myself for 19 years(maybe 20) and I have seen lots of people on here that have not gone to a dentist longer than either me or you. I don't think the dentist will freak out and run if they are identifying themself as a phobic patient friendly dentist, I think that is about the opposite of what a phobia friendly dentist would do. My general advice is it is often the anticipation that is worst, and it can come as relief to finally go in and get it over with. After my 19 year break I found someone who promoted themself on their website as welcoming patients who hadn't seen a dentist in a long time, which worked out pretty well for me, that might be a good kind of dentist for you too.
 
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Anxiousasallheck_

Junior member
Joined
Jan 19, 2023
Messages
7
Location
California
I just want you (those who have responded so far) to know how much your responses have meant. Like truly!!! Thank you so much for your kind comforting words. They help..it funny how words on a screen can make a person feel better! ✨♥️
 
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walkingguy

Junior member
Joined
Jan 24, 2023
Messages
1
Location
US
@Anxiousasallheck_ Hi there, I am new to this forum and I am in a very similar situation to you! It's been a very long time and I also recently chipped a tooth (twice, because like an idiot I chew ice and hard candy). I am dealing with a ton of health anxiety right now (not for the first time), but I am working my way up to one of the first things to do which is find a gentle dentist. In addition to not going to the dentist I took terrible care of my teeth and have been thinking a lot about gum disease which I know is one of the things they can address with lasers now.
Anyhow I may start my own post but wanted to chime in here. I was glad to read your post!
 
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Anxiousasallheck_

Junior member
Joined
Jan 19, 2023
Messages
7
Location
California
@walkingguy…right there with you. I have been having some back and forth email conversation with a dental office this past week…the fact they have been taking the time to answer my questions and have such patience is a good sign to me…my only concern is they seem to only do oral sedation with drugs…so not a complete sleep…not sure how that works…BUT I’m trying really hard to NOT over think everything. Last week was horrible anxiety wise…so I’m trying to just stay a little more grounded.
(Hopefully!!) I’m sending you all the positive vibes that you find a great dentist as well!!!!
 
B

Beckjayne

Junior member
Joined
Jan 8, 2023
Messages
6
Location
Connecticut
@Anxiousasallheck_ You are making some huge steps. I know you're nervous about all of this. And am pleased that you are talking to the dentist. Be open with him. Tell him about your fears of the anesthesia. That you're worried that you can only have certain types at his office
Id had 3 teeth extracted in 2020 and had nitrous oxide for the first time. I really did well with that type of anesthesia.

I had a tooth extracted 3 weeks ago at my dentist, but he doesnt offer the nitrous. He did say that i could use Xanax or Valium before the appt and he'd be sure i was very numb. I did take Xanax and was comfortable for the procedure. My dentist took his time, and kept asking me if i was doing ok. That is important for us who are dental phobic. That the dentist doesnt rush, and asks us if we are ok. It made me feel more in control of the situation
 
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