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Scared that I have cavities and need fillings or worse

  • Thread starter Thread starter anonandafraid
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anonandafraid

Junior member
Joined
Aug 13, 2024
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Location
Belfast
Hello there,

I haven't had any fillings yet, I'm 39 and it was a good few years ago since my last visit to the dentist. I just can't find the strength to make that step just yet.

I really struggle to go because of panic attacks and I can barely type this message without going into one too, anything to do with teeth just scares me so much.

Yesterday I looked at my teeth closely in the mirror and all the crevasses look like this and I'm so so so scared that it's cavities everywhere. I drink a lot of coffee so some might be staining but I just can't handle a checkup, I really can't. I dont have any sensitivity issues with my teeth and don't know what to do, my mind is going to the darkest places over this. Please, please help.IMG_1994.jpeg
 
Im not saying this is easy, far from it, but if you managed to go for a check up, it might really surprise you that youre actually just fine. it could be very empowering.

id say take your time over all of it. Whats the rush? dont invent a stress and worry just because you can. You feel as fine today as you did yesterday. Make the decision IF and WHEN you feel happy to, and only then.

Maybe it might be best just to have a chat with a dentist about your fears first, no check up?

Have you had a tooth extracted??? how did you feel about that?? has that sparked your fear?
 
Thank you SO much for your response, it's definitely helping me build the strength - I've started to realise so much of it seems to be about being in control of the situation and I think it maybe stems from my parents saying you HAVE to go, you HAVE to go when I was a child.

id say take your time over all of it. Whats the rush? dont invent a stress and worry just because you can.
Even hearing this has just brought the first smile to my face since I started inventing the stress and worry about it. My worry all came about because I have had a bit of a bad taste in my mouth on and off for the last month, it dominated my mind during a family holiday and my anxiety just led me to believe "this is an issue with your tooth". Long story short - I had sensitivity only to hot and sticky foods that lingered on one of my upper molars a few months ago. That sensitivity came and went maybe a few times a week and with using Sensodyne for a few weeks, it disappeared completely and I've been back on regular toothpaste for the last 6+ weeks since I last felt it.

I associated the bad taste with that tooth, but (if I really try and engage rational thinking), it's likely from the sheer amount of prodding and poking around my mouth I do with my fingers and tongue. The taste disappeared for a couple of weeks, then has come back a day, gone for 2, back a day, gone for a few more, and whatever happened the last time it came back, I felt like my front 4 incisors felt scummy so I checked the mirror and noticed those lines and looked closely and thought I saw holes everywhere which has sent me down a Google rabbithole, Reddit rabbitholes, all sorts of things which has pushed me into thinking that old thing again: I HAVE to go to the dentist, you'll HAVE issues, you'll HAVE to do something about it, you'll HAVE to sit there and take it, you'll HAVE to feel the pain and discomfort of the whole thing.

Maybe it might be best just to have a chat with a dentist about your fears first, no check up?
I think that's a good idea. If I can go in completely non-committal and chat through what I'm feeling and just take baby steps towards this, I think it's the only way I can possibly do it.

Have you had a tooth extracted??? how did you feel about that?? has that sparked your fear?
No but it's definitely at the top of my fears, I'd rank them as 11/10 worry for tooth extraction 11/10 root canal, and 10/10 for fillings.

Thank you again for your reply, it's so helpful!
 
@anonandafraid being honest i was the same, the stains do look exactly like staining and not decay, Gordon will advise better but it defo just looks like stains
 
Thank you so much @andrewstevenson2013 that brings me a huge amount of relief. I've worked myself up into thinking there are cavities everywhere and that I'll need a massive amount of work done, I hope it's all just staining. @Gordon sorry I hate to reply directly about something like this but would you mind having a quick glance at my photo if you get a moment? No problem if you don't have time, thank you so much!
 
It’s been an anxiety of mines also, I was always thinking the same. But looking that does look exactly like stains, best to get it cleaned off and remove stress
 
I have the most positive update on this: I DID IT!!!

I went to see the dentist after around 10 years of avoidance. It all turned out to simply be staining! Got x-rays, had a quick clean/scale (I'm due back for the remainder to be cleaned) and I just can't believe I did it. You're right @MagicDuck12 - it IS the most empowering thing.

My phobia took me to the darkest places and consumed the overwhelming majority of my daily thoughts. Any time I caught myself happy or laughing, my mind would quickly snap back to "remember you might have major issues with your teeth, and it's going to be awfully painful getting it fixed, and you HAVE to do it".

I just couldn't face walking in the door and letting them check out the situation. But wow, the power of taking control, booking the appointment and going through with it is incredible. Thank you @andrewstevenson2013 also for helping settle my nerves, and a big thank you to Gordon - I talked in DMs privately with him and I managed to build up the courage to go. Now, I plan on going back every 6 months so it doesn't become a big dark fear again. And now, little by little after facing the scaling, I dare say that I might even be able to do a filling if it was needed down the line. I can't believe I'm here on the other side of all of this.

To anyone reading this, I know exactly what your fear feels like, and how debilitating it is, and how powerless/stuck in a rut with fear you feel. Just taking small baby steps, taking your time (as @MagicDuck12 suggested above) yet stepping forward at your own pace, remembering you're in control - you don't HAVE to commit to any of this at any point including after your check up, and, possibly most of all, stop worrying in advance. This is my biggest regret - I feel elated about my visit yet full of regret that I worried all that time for nothing.

“The man that suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than it is necessary.” – Seneca

i.e I have had full dental procedures thousands of times over in my mind. I had already been through hell before actually going and finding that the thing I had been avoiding wasn't bad at all.
 
I’m so happy for you! My teeth look just like yours from drinking coffee. I didn’t go to the dentist for 15 years and constantly feared I had dozens of cavities and would need extractions, root canals, or maybe dentures! I had no pain whatsoever but that’s where my mind took me. I also thought I had at least 10 chipped teeth because my molars have pits and sharp edges. I finally went and I had one cavity and needed my teeth cleaned. The sharp edges and pits in my molars are just from wear and I might need a few crowns down the road but nothing right now. Crazy the dark places our minds go when we let fear take over! I feel like a new person and I’m definitely going to the dentist every 6 months from now on.
 
@jessicat81 I'm so glad to hear you made the trip too Jessica. Honestly, it feels like a life-changing moment for me. You're so right about our minds going to dark places, I still remember that stomach-sinking-into-the-floor feeling of looking closely at my teeth in the mirror for the first time in years (I always avoided doing so as I was so superstitious about something being wrong and needing to go to the dentist) and then seeing those stains and counting the cavities I thought I had.

It's so worth going for peace of mind and just getting back to the point of going to set a good baseline because things can (surely!) only go so wrong in the space of 6 month periods of time. I am firmly back on the wagon now in terms of going, no more 10 and 12 year gaps again!
 
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