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scared to death to go to the dentist

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Merrowyn

Junior member
Joined
Sep 23, 2016
Messages
3
hi

i'm 34 and my life brutaly changed after an abusive relationship.
To not bring up my past to much i am gonna keep it short. During a fight my boyfriend at the time unlocked both of my jaws. I had to go to the hospital to get the jaws back in place. This was extremely painfull .It took me a long time to be able to speak correctly and eat hard foods. To this day i cannot bite an apple without feeling my jaws block a little. They told me that i should be carefull to avoid a second unlocking.

After that i left that guy but ended up in huge depression with anxiety and fear of being touched.
I had to take a lot of medication and my theeth started to decay, break off and it's just a big ravage in my mouth.

I used to be a model and i hear people say i am beautifull , yet none of them every see me smile.
I'm tired of not smiling or covering up when i speak.

I'm also gluten intolerant and scared of needles. I am deeply ashamed to go to a dentist and just the idea of recieving harsh feedback on myself is so scary that i just never make the apointment... ofcourse financially it's not easy. But i really need to go and i don't know how to overcome this fear. worse case scenario in my mind is my jaws unlocking, or the dentist being way to brutal. It just makes me so sad and it eats away at my self esteem and i wish i had the balls to go... but i don't. It's my dream to overcome this and be able to live with a beautifull smile once more. but i feel stuck

any advice is welcome

ps : i'm from Belgium so my english is not perfect


Merrowyn
 
L

lauralou32

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
108
Location
USA
Hi I totally understand your fear of shame! I felt the same way for 24 yrs. But as of three weeks ago I am on my way to healthier smile. You see my the scary thoughts I had were totally wrong. The dentist and staff were nothing but kind to me. They never asked me one question about why I had not been to the dentist. My shame is gone. Please trust me the fear and shame you feel about your teeth will go away once you have your 1st visit, I have an uphill battle ahead of me to get my smile back but it's much better than hiding like I was before. I am 56 yrs old and I cried in my dentists office and told them I was scared and humiliated and they said not to worry everything will be alright. It will all work out for you also! Say a prayer and step into a new journey that will take you into a future of confidence and big smiles! I'm here if you need to talk. Keep me posted and stay strong!
 
M

Merrowyn

Junior member
Joined
Sep 23, 2016
Messages
3
Hi I totally understand your fear of shame! I felt the same way for 24 yrs. But as of three weeks ago I am on my way to healthier smile. You see my the scary thoughts I had were totally wrong. The dentist and staff were nothing but kind to me. They never asked me one question about why I had not been to the dentist. My shame is gone. Please trust me the fear and shame you feel about your teeth will go away once you have your 1st visit, I have an uphill battle ahead of me to get my smile back but it's much better than hiding like I was before. I am 56 yrs old and I cried in my dentists office and told them I was scared and humiliated and they said not to worry everything will be alright. It will all work out for you also! Say a prayer and step into a new journey that will take you into a future of confidence and big smiles! I'm here if you need to talk. Keep me posted and stay strong!


Thank you so much for your kind reply. It feels good to know i'm not alone in this. It truly inspired me to save up and make that apointment. And i agree it's better than hiding. It's horrid to life beneath yourself out of fear. Now all i need to do is find a good dentist in my area... the last one had a laugh at me and i never wen't back. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This message was exactly what i needed to hear. We often think we aren't normal untill we hear that someone else is facing the same problem. Blessings to you :)
 
M

Midvalley

Junior member
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
4
Hello I to totally understand where your coming from with your fears and apprehension. I really think it's a fear of the unknown. I just fought my own battle to go to the dentist and I tell ya it wasn't anything like I had my mind made up it was going to be. I have had about 30 surgerys in my life (ear and foot) but I to am scared of needles but not the actual needle I'm scared of what they put in you I'm always afraid I'll have a reaction to it and it's debilitating to say the least. I wanted to tell you your not alone and it really won't be as bad as you think it wil . If you go to the dentist and he acts judgmental tell him to get bent and just go find another. There are some good ones out there just gotta find them. I truly hope u find the strength to take the right steps to get you all fixed up. It isn't easy and it's not always cheap but in the long run you will be so happy and self esteem will go thru the roof. Good luck with it all and trust me it's not nearly as bad as we make our selves believe it's going to be. Take care.
 
L

lauralou32

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
108
Location
USA
So glad your feeling better about seeing a dentist! I went on line and picked a local dentist with good reviews and took a chance! They are all very kind people in the office! The longer I live the more I realize that if you face your fears by pushing through them you become stronger every time you are faced with problems. The fear you feel is always worse than what's on the other side of it! I hate irrational fear and what i have allowed it to do to my life. But no more!!! I know I have mountains to climb but I can't wait until I'm in the other side of it and look behind me and smile !!!! Gods blessings to you as you courageously conquere your dental fears!! Keep me posted please!! ?
 
B

Beyondscurred

Junior member
Joined
Oct 1, 2016
Messages
2
hi

i'm 34 and my life brutaly changed after an abusive relationship.
To not bring up my past to much i am gonna keep it short. During a fight my boyfriend at the time unlocked both of my jaws. I had to go to the hospital to get the jaws back in place. This was extremely painfull .It took me a long time to be able to speak correctly and eat hard foods. To this day i cannot bite an apple without feeling my jaws block a little. They told me that i should be carefull to avoid a second unlocking.

After that i left that guy but ended up in huge depression with anxiety and fear of being touched.
I had to take a lot of medication and my theeth started to decay, break off and it's just a big ravage in my mouth.

I used to be a model and i hear people say i am beautifull , yet none of them every see me smile.
I'm tired of not smiling or covering up when i speak.

I'm also gluten intolerant and scared of needles. I am deeply ashamed to go to a dentist and just the idea of recieving harsh feedback on myself is so scary that i just never make the apointment... ofcourse financially it's not easy. But i really need to go and i don't know how to overcome this fear. worse case scenario in my mind is my jaws unlocking, or the dentist being way to brutal. It just makes me so sad and it eats away at my self esteem and i wish i had the balls to go... but i don't. It's my dream to overcome this and be able to live with a beautifull smile once more. but i feel stuck

any advice is welcome

ps : i'm from Belgium so my english is not perfect


Merrowyn

Hi! You are a brave young woman!!! After going they such a rough patch and staying strong. But I know ur frustration. I am 34 and rarely been to the dentist. I didn't grow up seeing a dentist Bc we were poor and when I got older I only went to the dentist If something hurt. The other day one of my crowns fell out. Luckily it didn't hurt but I don't want to walk airing with This hole in my mouth. My biggest concern is embarrassment. I'll never forget. One dentist office made me feel so less of myself. One of the hygienist was talking so bad about me in the next room, not realizing I could hear, that I just got up and walked out. But I am sucking it up and seeing a dentist near me tomorrow. ? But I believe you will be fine. And it's all about the dentist we encounter. If they make you feel comfortable. U will more than likely be in good hands.
 
D

drakes

Junior member
Joined
Oct 28, 2016
Messages
3
Location
USA
I appreciate this story and the supportive responses. My reluctance has only to do with being shamed and you had so much more to overcome. Thank you
 
M

Merrowyn

Junior member
Joined
Sep 23, 2016
Messages
3
to be honest i still didn't wen't to a dentist.... i can't seem to get over the fear and the shame. I lost this site when my computer crashed and never saw all the answers. tonight i looked for it again... i haven't left my house in a very long time and tonight i felt the need to vent. I wen't out feeling all beautifull with my new look and a good friend of mine said.... god damn you are a beautifull woman but those theeth of yours.... i couldn't be angry because he is right and that's how i feel.... i feel ugly. I told him it hurt me but i know this will haunt me and i will beat myself up that i don't have the courage to go. I just need to find the will and the energy. Thank you all for the replies. There must be a reason that i found this site back tonight.
 
K

kimber2462

Junior member
Joined
Jun 9, 2017
Messages
1
Location
South Carolina
Dear Scared,

Your story sounds SO MUCH like mine! I was the pretty girl with ugly teeth for the past 2 years. I have PTSD and Anxiety Disorder which doesn't help and have been terrified of dentists for years since a very bad experience as a child. But.....I ended up with severe periodontal disease and all of my top teeth ended up crumbling apart and literally rotting. I ended up becoming VERY sick over the course of a year to the point of it affecting my heart rhythm. Long story short, I HAD to do something so I saved up the money to have ALL of my top teeth extracted today. The dentist put in a healing denture right away until my gums heal and I can get my permanent denture. My experience was great. I literally was talking one minute and asleep the next and woke up in what seemed like seconds, remembering nothing and with very little pain. I will say that I had a very good dentist which means I paid more than what you see in all those annoying "overnight denture" commercials , but, it was worth every penny! I attached pictures after surgery and of the healing denture.I hope this helps! Good luck!

Kimberly
 

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