• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is very afraid of dentistry or who suffers with dental phobia. Please note that this is NOT a dental problems forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Scared to death

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FearfulTeeth

Junior member
Joined
Dec 1, 2022
Messages
5
Location
California
Hello all, I have been looking at these forums for a couple of days now, I made an account. Thank you for letting me in. :). My story is like everyone else’s as far as being absolutely terrified of the dentist. I am almost 46 years old and have not been to the dentist in over 20 years. Another growing up with trauma and lack of care.( but it’s my own fault and responsibility as an adult so I blame nobody but myself) The real fear is when I was a young boy and went to the dentist I had a horrific experience by the dental assistant.I won’t go into detail but I was ridiculed and made fun of by this assistant and also groped by her. So to say I have trauma around this is an understatement. My teeth are shifting and my gums have receded a lot and I’m so scared I have peridontal disease. I am a very healthy person except for my teeth. I am coming here to try and psych myself up and get the courage to make the call,But I am absolutely frozen with fear not only just going but what they will say. I really need a caring Doctor to help me through this. I have been through so much worse things in my life but this is my absolute biggest hill I need to climb. I truly want to have my nice smile back again and correct and do things right with my teeth the rest of my life. I have never had braces, never had wisdom teeth pulled. I am so scared to even have a dentist look in my mouth let alone do any work. I just hope it’s not to late for me and losing my teeth. I would love to send a picture to a dentist on here if he/she would at least be willing to look. This feels like a big first step for me just writing this. You all seem to be very supportive from what I have read on here and that is very nice to see. Thank you for letting me ramble. And I hope this was posted in the right section. thank you 😊
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
5,759
Hi there, weekends for some reason tend to be really quiet around here, so apologies for the lack of replies so far! So sorry to hear about your awful experience when you were a child, I hope you have been able to talk to someone about the trauma.

As you said, a caring dentist will be key to tackling your fear... we have a lot of information for finding someone on our website:


There's also a really useful patient form which you could email to potential dentists (along with your email) and see how they respond - you can find it here if you're interested:


The fact that you're keeping healthy otherwise is a huge advantage - a lot of people actually find it quite difficult to motivate themselves to look after their health, for various reasons. So you're one step ahead of the game there :)!

You probably already know that dentists really have seen it all, and that their job would be rather boring without any challenges (as Gordon over in the Ask a Dentist section likes to say, dentists are doers...). This FAQ might help:


I would love to send a picture to a dentist on here if he/she would at least be willing to look.

You could send a PM to either @Gordon who I'm sure would be happy to take a look!
 
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FearfulTeeth

Junior member
Joined
Dec 1, 2022
Messages
5
Location
California
Thank you for responding. It’s okay about the delay in responses. 🙂. I have gotten therapy for what happened to me it definitely has helped but it’s like I’m constrained in that chair and am strapped down with no where to run. Thank you for all the info you sent me I will put it to good use. I will send Gordon pictures. It will definitely ease my mind even if it’s a small step it’s still a step to regaining my health of my mouth back! I like that dentists are “doers” and I have to remind myself they are there to help. I’m still scared and would love to hear from others as this forum really does help!
 
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LauraQ68

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 27, 2021
Messages
100
Location
California
I know your fear well because I was right there a year ago. This forum was tremendously helpful and I know it will be for you, too. I was so scared I could hardly eat or sleep for two weeks before my appointment (the first in about five years). I was a literal nervous wreck. But I had no choice…I was in pain and had to go. My best advice is this: feel the fear and do it anyway! You will not die. You will make it through. Don't let the fear control you and definitely don’t let it win. Hang in there!

Laura
 
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FearfulTeeth

Junior member
Joined
Dec 1, 2022
Messages
5
Location
California
I know your fear well because I was right there a year ago. This forum was tremendously helpful and I know it will be for you, too. I was so scared I could hardly eat or sleep for two weeks before my appointment (the first in about five years). I was a literal nervous wreck. But I had no choice…I was in pain and had to go. My best advice is this: feel the fear and do it anyway! You will not die. You will make it through. Don't let the fear control you and definitely don’t let it win. Hang in there!

Laura
Thank you for responding Laura. I really appreciate hearing from others. I would love to hear your full story about your fear also, if you feel so inclined to do so. :)
 
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Emily85

Junior member
Joined
Aug 14, 2022
Messages
15
Location
New Zealand
@FearfulTeeth What an awful experience! It's no wonder you fear the dentist. While I can't say I had exactly the same experience, I too have major dental anxiety. Just the thought of a dentist visit sends shivers down my spine. I keep going though. I find the more often I go, the less fearful I am... weird, I know. But regular checkups have helped me through the irrational fear. My dentist knows about my anxiety and goes out of her way to reassure me. Trust me, these kinds of dentists do exist! Once I had my teeth sorted out, they were still a crooked mess. I'm middle-aged, so I didn't want two years of metal wires in my mouth! I opted for SureSmile. What a game-changer! My teeth have never looked so good. It's amazing what straight, healthy teeth will do for your confidence. If you want to straighten things up, I highly recommend it. Here's some great info https://erdental.co.nz/straight-teeth-without-metal-wires/

I hope it all works out for you. I know how stressful it is to get that first appointment out of the way. Let us know how you go!
 
Dg6300

Dg6300

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
676
Location
US
Welcome!

Like you, I am a 46 year old man, so you’re not alone.

And yes, it is very rational and reasonable to have dental anxiety, for the reasons you mentioned. It would be odd not to have anxiety after those unfortunate experiences.

I hope things are at least a little better since first posting.

How are you feeling going into the holidays?
 
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FearfulTeeth

Junior member
Joined
Dec 1, 2022
Messages
5
Location
California
Thank you for the replies. I have not made it into the dentist yet, but I am calling around trying to get a feel for them. Cost is an issue for me also. My other concern is bone loss. My teeth have shifted quite a bit in the last year. So I am hoping that is not a problem. Thank you for the support! Hope you guys had happy holidays!
 
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FearfulTeeth

Junior member
Joined
Dec 1, 2022
Messages
5
Location
California
@FearfulTeeth What an awful experience! It's no wonder you fear the dentist. While I can't say I had exactly the same experience, I too have major dental anxiety. Just the thought of a dentist visit sends shivers down my spine. I keep going though. I find the more often I go, the less fearful I am... weird, I know. But regular checkups have helped me through the irrational fear. My dentist knows about my anxiety and goes out of her way to reassure me. Trust me, these kinds of dentists do exist! Once I had my teeth sorted out, they were still a crooked mess. I'm middle-aged, so I didn't want two years of metal wires in my mouth! I opted for SureSmile. What a game-changer! My teeth have never looked so good. It's amazing what straight, healthy teeth will do for your confidence. If you want to straighten things up, I highly recommend it. Here's some great info https://erdental.co.nz/straight-teeth-without-metal-wires/

I hope it all works out for you. I know how stressful it is to get that first appointment out of the way. Let us know how you go!
Thank you for this I will definitely look into this when that time comes 😀
 
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