Scared to go to dentist after SA

[looking4smile]

Hi all, happy to have found this forum.

To make a long story shortish, I was a victim of a violent and sexual attack that involved my mouth. This lead to a lot of trauma: first the initial physical attack causing damage. But then the mental and emotional damage kicked in and I was too weak to overcome it. I couldn't look in mirrors. I found that putting things into my mouth was triggering. The movement of a toothbrush mimicked motions of the attack. Brushing my teeth became a huge triggering event that unfortunately most days I could not overcome. This has lead to severe decay on many teeth that I know need to be fully replaced.

I have not been able to get over fear to go to dentist to seek care. The embarrassment of even having to show my teeth is bad enough, but add on having to explain why it happened makes me fear of being judged even worse. The anxiety/trauma of having another person put their hands in my mouth is scary and freaks me out so I obviously need to be honest about what happened so that hopefully I can receive gentle, compassionate care.

I have no job therefore no money so that holds me back as well. So I have been frozen on how to overcome this huge traumatic mountain in front of me. But things in my mouth are getting worse, a tooth fell completely out without pain the other day! But then another began to hurt. I'm scared of dying from this and know I need to do something.

Any recommendations on help, resources, what to do, who to talk to etc? I am lost and scared. Thank you.

 

[rose20124]

Hello, I want to start out by saying, I am so sorry for what you had to go through. I am by no means any sort of expert on this but I thought I would try to reply as sometimes just hearing that you are not alone, can be helpful. I also struggle with the dentist for the same reason, I have major panic attacks just thinking about it sometimes.

There are a few things that helped me be able to get through the first two appointments I had. 1. I had my best friend come with me. He held my hand and also helped advocate for me when I was struggling to speak. If there's anyone in your life who can do this for you I highly recommend it. Personally without that support I wouldn't have even been able to try the next few options.
2. Anti- anxiety medication/ oral sedation. If your dentist does sedation have them prescribe some sort of benzodiazpine. If they do not, ask your general practitioner, mine was able to prescribe it to me for the first appointment so I could build a relationship with my dentist first. 3. Find a dentist who works with special needs patients. Often these dentists have more training in trauma and would be able to work with you in a way to minimize triggers. Having a dentist who respects your autonomy and stops immediately at your signal is vital. 4. Write them a letter. If you are comfortable, explain your history of SA and that you felt this was an easier way to discuss things. Also write all your concerns / triggers/ accommodations. You can send this via email before hand or have it ready at the first appointment this gives you time to process, and figure out what you want even before walking in the door. It also gives them time to come up with a game plan. When I call a new practice the first question I ask is, what is your experience with patients who have PTSD, and special needs. Dentists are used to hearing " anxiety" so sometimes I feel it isn't taken as seriously. Their reaction to that question, will be a first sign of this is an office you will feel safe in, or not.

I hope some of this was able to help. If you have any questions feel free to message me. I'm proud of you for taking this first step of reaching out. We got this!!

 

[Jojo3399]

I’m so sorry to hear this. The reply above has so many great tips.

I just wanted to ask if you possibly have access to therapy or perhaps counselling / a support group? I’m not sure where you are in the world and how accessible that might be for free.

From my own personal experience of PTSD (not dental related) it hugely helped me. It wouldn’t be a quick fix of course, but starting the process of therapy would hopefully help with the dentistry work you require in the long run.

Also, in my experience, the vast majority of dentists are very kind and would absolutely want to know about this so they could help in any way they could.

They could set up a signal system for you to stop anytime you like, and I would hope they could possibly offer slightly longer appointments once they know the background, so they could take it even slower than a regular appointment. There’s lots of dentists out there with so many brilliant strategies.

I really do wish you all the best.