Scared, upset, lots of questions - one crude but I need to know!

[csdodd80]

Hello all,

I am 34 and was mistreat and misdiagnosed by a dentists 10 years ago. After his failure to recognise and treat gum disease I was diagnosed with Periodontal disease with bone loss 7 years ago and I have had no treatment since as I have been too scared to go back. I literally feel ill at the thought of it!

As a result I have two 'dead' and loose lower central incisors (this is where the infection was first present and bone loss began), most of my upper and lower gums have receded by a good 4-5mm that I can see, with a great deal of shrinkage on my top and bottom lateral incisors and canines where the gums look pointed if you understand how I mean and these are super sensitive when I brush. I also have an impacted wisdom tooth.

Last year my upper 2nd biscupid filling came away, then the tooth broke at the back, leaving it looking normal at the front, but sharp and with little tooth left at the back. Since then I have had a constant lump that fills with pus, and bursts in the gum above it.

I stopped smoking 3 and a half years ago and this had slowed down the receeding and infections considerably. I clean my teeth daily taking care to angle my brush so it goes below the gum line, I also clean my gums and never rinse the toothpaste away in the hope the flouride is helping. I find that if I brush twice daily it makes me sensitive to hot and cold, so I just take care to remove food with a tooth pick, floss and spend a good amount of time cleaning the teeth in a morning and I use mouthwash on a night.

This has been my routine for many years, but over the past 2 months things seem to have gone awray. My infection about my broken tooth will not drain like it usually does. My teeth are sensitive to hot and cold all the time. I feel pain and aching in my teeth and I know I need to get sorted so I have found an NHS dentist who can fit me in, but not until October.

I am absolutely petrified. I am petrified about having to have injections. I am petrified that I will not get immediate dentures and will have to be seen without teeth. I am petrified that my husband won't find me attractive and I am petrified about what the bone loss will do to my face.

I also, and I apologise for being so crude, but worry about how I will be able to perform a certain foreplay with my husband with dentures in because no way am I taking them out.

I feel sick and shaky and want to cry when I look at my teeth. I know no matter how healthy they may look, they bones and gums aren't and I am dreading going to see the dentist but know I have no choice.

Please can someone ease my mind?!

Many Thanks

 

[carole]

Hi to the forum.

I had gum disease on my gum at the bottom front tooth that was ignored by my dentist it effected one tooth. I changed dentists and the one I see now has been seeing me every three months for cleaning to try and prolong the time until it would have to be extracted.
A couple of weeks ago after she took an x ray to check the teeth at the bottom it showed that I had considerable bone loss and it was starting to effect the tooth next to it. The outcome was that she removed the tooth and put me an immediate in. This is temporary until my gum has healed then she will put me a bridge on to fill the gap.

Before you agree to any extractions make sure that the dentist you see discusses what the plan is for after. You can have an immediate denture put in the same as I did. It has been fine and is healing very well.

The dentists can give you totally pain free injections, if they do it really slowly you won't feel them at all. If you are still worried then ask them if they would use a gel called topical on your gum before they inject, they rub this on the gum for a couple of minutes before injecting and it numbs the gums.

The dentist are really understanding and do everything they can to help us to get the treatment we need. Your first visit will be a meet and greet and they will ask if it is okay to have a look so that they can chart your teeth they may want to take an x ray too. They should then have a look at the x ray and advise you on the treatment for you and the best way to get it done. Only consent to as much as you feel you can cope with in each session.

Things might not be as bad as you think they are, but once you know for certain what treatment you need you can deal with it. We can offer you support on here if you wish and answer any questions you have.

We understand how you feel. On the subject of foreplay, get the treatment you need first and I am sure you will figure it out together. There is no reason dentures if needed should cause any problems in this respect.

All the best to you

 

[Sevena]

Hi and welcome to the forum! Well done on actually contacting a dentist. It's a huge first step and I know how terrifying it is. And I know how bad the wait can be, where you just imagine everything that could go wrong and start preparing for the worst.

Explain to your dentist about how afraid you are. This is always the best thing you can do. Communicating with the dentist lets them work around your needs and go at a pace you can handle. You've always got options if you can't handle the treatment. There's sedation and anasthesia for big procedures. You should be able to get referred to a clinic that offers that, if the one you're going to does not.

You'll be able to talk over your options fully once a dentist has seen you. Until then, you should focus on *not* thinking of the worst. I know it's nigh-on impossible! You're going to end up dwelling anyway. But try not to let it rule you. Say to yourself, "Okay, I'm worrying again, but I know there's no point because right now I have no idea what there is to worry over!" and then try to move on to thinking about something else.

Tons of people here have been in your exact situation. You're not alone, and people will be happy to support you.

Best wishes

 

[csdodd80]

Thank you both so much for replying and trying to put my mind at ease.

It is definitely the fear of the unknown for me that is making this whole thing worse.
I am so mad at myself for not following up my treatment when I was diagnosed and I know that 7 years of disease spreading around my mouth will have destroyed my bones and it is this that scares me more than anything. I kick myself just thinking about it.

Another fear is that the treatment I will receive won't be as thorough on the NHS as it is in private clinics, but I am a full-time student and not in a position to pay for treatment at the moment. I have read so many horror stories about the NHS dentists on the reviews that it makes me feel sick but I have no other choice. I can;t get insurance because I have the pre-existing condition and I can't leave it any longer because I am in discomfort all the time.

If only I had hindsight and lots of cash!

 

[carole]

I had all my treatment done by nhs dentists and I have had excellent treatment both for my oral conditions and my fear and phobia. I have had teeth removed, bridges, rct's an immediate denture soon to be bridge, and a couple of fillings.

You will find that the dentists of today will not judge you or tell you off. If they do, leave and go to see someone else. I hope that the dentist you have found is the right one for you, you will know if they make you feel comfortable and if you feel you could build up a trust with them.

If you are in pain you could ring the dentist and ask if they have any cancellations and that way you could get in sooner to see them. We can explain in a non scary way any procedures that you may require to help put your mind at ease.

 

[csdodd80]

Thank you so much Carole,

It really does help to hear something positive about the NHS dental service after spending hours reading negative reviews!

I am definitely going to try for a cancellation. I think the sooner I get this sorted and know where I am at the better. I am struggling to sleep with worry and it is making me feel ill.

Again, huge thanks xx

 

[carole]

I know that feeling it is horrible. I couldn't afford private care but I am sure I wouldn't get any better treated than I have been. From what I understand it is the difference in the materials they use but so far so good with my crowns etc...

I was even referred to the dental hospital when I needed a rct'd tooth re-treating and they were also really good. I have had good and bad dentists in my life but the last three dentists I have seen have been really good and the care I get with my now dentist is excellent. Mine is a lady she is a perfectionist and really takes time and trouble both with making sure I am okay and with the work being done.

Fingers crossed for you, I hope you get in soon

 

[Sevena]

I'm going to chime in with support for NHS dentists too! Yes there are horror stories, and there are bad dentists out there, but there are also many great ones! I've been having treatment on and off for the past 5 years and every dentist I saw was absolutely lovely, not to mention competent. They were very kind and took into account my anxiety problems and my phobia.

Remember, people are more likely to want to vent online about a bad experience than they are about an experience which is really good, or merely "okay". So don't let that put you off. And don't worry too much over how bad you think your mouth condition must have gotten. We all think the worst, and it's often not as bad as we expect it to be.