Seeking support - totally ashamed of going to the dentist

[me07]

Hello all,

I am very happy that I found this forum, I hope I can feel better by sharing my story.

My big problem is that I have very poor dental health. I have several broken molars (problems started when I was in a heavy period of my life, could not afford dental care) so with things always getting worse, I just became ashamed of my teeth and still am not able to go see a dentist to this day. I fear I might also have gum disease and I am totally freaking out about losing my teeth (front ones). I am so scared to lose one, it's all I can think about. I am having major anxiety because of this.

I'm scared of being told the damage done, I am scared of judgment (I'm only 31). I need to find the courage to fix things, I can't live like this anymore.

Thank you.

 

[anonfemale]

I'm the same. I'm 31 next month. I also have gum disease and it is taking over my life. I cant eat and drink much and find it difficult to brush my teeth.
I cant go on any more.

 

[me07]

Hang on there, I am sure there is a way around things. We might not see it now, but there has to be.

 

[anonfemale]

I cry every day. My teeth are fine. I have only had two extractions and two fillings . I had anaemia recently too bit my iron levels are better. I have nightmares.ams hardly leave the house and hardly get out of bed. I cant carry on. I have seen four dentists in the last four months and they have said different things about what stage the gum disease is at. I hate the taste in my mouth. It scares me that it is linked to other health problems too. I'm not strong enough to fight this. My mouth feels sensitive and I get pain that come and goes and bad breath. It scares me when I see the blood when the dentist does a cleaning. My bottom gums feel hard. I have a very small mouth and jaw and it is hard to brush and floss. The gums are very inflamed. I think they look disgusting.it has affected my relationships with my boyfriend and family too.

 

[signgirl]

Don't give up. I totally know how you feel. It will get better.. ♡

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Hello all,

I am very happy that I found this forum, I hope I can feel better by sharing my story.

My big problem is that I have very poor dental health. I have several broken molars (problems started when I was in a heavy period of my life, could not afford dental care) so with things always getting worse, I just became ashamed of my teeth and still am not able to go see a dentist to this day. I fear I might also have gum disease and I am totally freaking out about losing my teeth (front ones). I am so scared to lose one, it's all I can think about. I am having major anxiety because of this.

I'm scared of being told the damage done, I am scared of judgment (I'm only 31). I need to find the courage to fix things, I can't live like this anymore.

Thank you.

Hi Me, welcome to the forum
All I can tell you is that I too stayed away from the dentist for several years. Over 15 years actually, due to fear, and when I did finally make myself go I did have gum disease because of never having had them cleaned all that time and not doing so great with the flossing back then either. But it wasn't the end of the world and I did end up getting treatment for it and not having to lose any of my teeth. I was so scared I cried on the phone just making the appointment. They had to prescribe me a valium to even get me to sit in the dental chair.

No matter how bad you think your teeth are dentists will have seen worse. They have seen everything from car accidents to meth mouth and nothing they see in your mouth will be shocking to them. They just want to help you. I know it is scary to think about going after so many years but posting here may have been the first step. Take a look at some of the success stories for inspiration, and consider making an appointment for yourself.
Best wishes.

 

[me07]

Thank you.

I don't know how I'll ever find the courage to open my mouth to anyone. I am terrified of judgment and negative attitude towards me for neglecting my dental health.

Hi Me, welcome to the forum
All I can tell you is that I too stayed away from the dentist for several years. Over 15 years actually, due to fear, and when I did finally make myself go I did have gum disease because of never having had them cleaned all that time and not doing so great with the flossing back then either. But it wasn't the end of the world and I did end up getting treatment for it and not having to lose any of my teeth. I was so scared I cried on the phone just making the appointment. They had to prescribe me a valium to even get me to sit in the dental chair.

No matter how bad you think your teeth are dentists will have seen worse. They have seen everything from car accidents to meth mouth and nothing they see in your mouth will be shocking to them. They just want to help you. I know it is scary to think about going after so many years but posting here may have been the first step. Take a look at some of the success stories for inspiration, and consider making an appointment for yourself.
Best wishes.

 

[minx]

Hello all,

I am very happy that I found this forum, I hope I can feel better by sharing my story.

My big problem is that I have very poor dental health. I have several broken molars (problems started when I was in a heavy period of my life, could not afford dental care) so with things always getting worse, I just became ashamed of my teeth and still am not able to go see a dentist to this day. I fear I might also have gum disease and I am totally freaking out about losing my teeth (front ones). I am so scared to lose one, it's all I can think about. I am having major anxiety because of this.

I'm scared of being told the damage done, I am scared of judgment (I'm only 31). I need to find the courage to fix things, I can't live like this anymore.

Thank you.

I feel your pain. me too had hard time seeing dentist because of those reason you have. I indured all of horrible pain thoughout the years. I rather indure pain then goto dentist.(I know how stubborn am I ) but I finally and to go. all my top teeth is rotten away and one of my front tooth broke off. when I got there its was very unexpected. he saw my teeth and I swear I though hes going to laugh at me and yell at me not taking care of my teeth. but no. he just comly said to me what I have to do. even though he didn't say he saw worse but he seems to act that way. like nothing to worry about. what ever is going on in your mouth. dentist will fix it. there is always a way. I think you should just make appointment and see what they say. you'll be supprise. just listen to what they say. making work done is next step. don't worry about that for now. just talk to them. One step at a time! that's what im doing now and getting lots of help from this forum. ppl here are great.
I wish you best of luck.

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Thank you.

I don't know how I'll ever find the courage to open my mouth to anyone. I am terrified of judgment and negative attitude towards me for neglecting my dental health.

That is a major fear that a lot of people share with you, the fear of being judged.
Have you looked at this page about common fears? You should really read this part right here about being embarrassed. I think it will help you feel better.

Embarrassed? What dentists really think

Do you avoid the dentist because you're too embarrassed about the state of your teeth and what a dentist might say or think? You're not alone!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[me07]

@minx - I'm tearful reading this, but it's comforting at the same time.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me.

 

[me07]

@ScaredyCat22 - Thank you for the link, I'm saving it for later when I get home and will definitely take the time to read.

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Thank you for the link, I'm saving it for later when I get home and will definitely take the time to read.

It's pretty short but has pictures of common things dentists see, just to make you feel better about what might be going on in your own mouth
Dentistry has come a long way in the past few decades and almost every tooth can be saved these days.

 

[me07]

I'm sorry you feel like that, are you seeking help? You mention your teeth are fine, I am curious to know why you are feeling so anxious?

I cry every day. My teeth are fine. I have only had two extractions and two fillings . I had anaemia recently too bit my iron levels are better. I have nightmares.ams hardly leave the house and hardly get out of bed. I cant carry on. I have seen four dentists in the last four months and they have said different things about what stage the gum disease is at. I hate the taste in my mouth. It scares me that it is linked to other health problems too. I'm not strong enough to fight this. My mouth feels sensitive and I get pain that come and goes and bad breath. It scares me when I see the blood when the dentist does a cleaning. My bottom gums feel hard. I have a very small mouth and jaw and it is hard to brush and floss. The gums are very inflamed. I think they look disgusting.it has affected my relationships with my boyfriend and family too.

 

[marco]

Hello all,

I am very happy that I found this forum, I hope I can feel better by sharing my story.

My big problem is that I have very poor dental health. I have several broken molars (problems started when I was in a heavy period of my life, could not afford dental care) so with things always getting worse, I just became ashamed of my teeth and still am not able to go see a dentist to this day. I fear I might also have gum disease and I am totally freaking out about losing my teeth (front ones). I am so scared to lose one, it's all I can think about. I am having major anxiety because of this.

I'm scared of being told the damage done, I am scared of judgment (I'm only 31). I need to find the courage to fix things, I can't live like this anymore.

Thank you.

Realize that you have to face it longer you wait more you lose. I'm talking from personal experience lost 9 teeth and going to extract some more just because my realization came so late. Dentists saw lots of bad teeth they wont judge you its only natural to be ashamed accept it. Don't jump to conclusion leave that for dentists. Even in worst case scenario you need it done and so being afraid of being told is pointless so try to treat it as such(I know its easy to say but that helped me pick up a phone and call). Keeping proper perspective is crucial here because that help us control fear to some extent. Taking small steps helps with getting good experience eventually you won't fear it anymore because you will be more familiar with it.

"I can't live like this anymore" are first words I used on this forum and you should check my thread I faced what you are about to, and I can tell you that whatever they say you will be little relieved because they will also tell you how it can be fixed your whole point of view will change at that moment because now you are doing something about, and if you can't live like that anymore there is only one course of action and that is fixing it.

When I thought about how my life is going to turn without going to dentist I was overwhelmed by dread so much that dental fear started to look so unimportant and illogical. I prepared my self to experience my worst dental nightmare and even then I will go back because as I can't live without that help its simple as that.

I guess its weird to some that I take it as life or death(well more like Big life changing) situation but it helps me draw enormous courage.


I have no idea why I said all this but I guess it can't hurt I hope you find your courage as well.

 

[Thephilsblogbar]

Even though I go every three months for checkups I am still ashamed about going to the dentist even for a checkup. I know the dentist advice you of your bad habits which could be causing the tooth problems, hopefully catch problems early.

I sometimes don't like opening my mouth to much when talking to people because I am ashamed about having fillings and how my teeth look. because I got a small mouth I sometimes struggled to open wide enough for the dentist to have a look.

 

[stacy82]

I cry every day. My teeth are fine. I have only had two extractions and two fillings . I had anaemia recently too bit my iron levels are better. I have nightmares.ams hardly leave the house and hardly get out of bed. I cant carry on. I have seen four dentists in the last four months and they have said different things about what stage the gum disease is at. I hate the taste in my mouth. It scares me that it is linked to other health problems too. I'm not strong enough to fight this. My mouth feels sensitive and I get pain that come and goes and bad breath. It scares me when I see the blood when the dentist does a cleaning. My bottom gums feel hard. I have a very small mouth and jaw and it is hard to brush and floss. The gums are very inflamed. I think they look disgusting.it has affected my relationships with my boyfriend and family too.

Anon, Many of us here know how you are feeling, but I try to remember this: Our teeth/mouths don't define us as people, as much as we worry about our oral health here, and as scared and anxious as some of us get we know how it feels to constantly worry about these things. Don't let this define you. If there is someone you trust that you can talk to, and get this off your chest, please do it. One more thing: I don't know if this helps you feel better or if others would agree with me on this, but look up something called "oil pulling", I have heard great things about it's effect on helping gum afflictions. Basically you swish coconut oil (other oils work too) around your mouth for about 15 minutes daily. I started doing it about a month ago, and now my gums no longer bleed when I floss.

 

[comfortdentist]

I am addressed as Dr Kimsey not "Your honor" therefore I judge no one.


My job is to help people.

 

[me07]

Thanks everyone.

I am so close to picking up the phone and make an appointment, I'm getting there.

I am so obsessed with my problem, this has to stop.

 

[me07]

I still cannot get over of how ashamed I am. I want to cry just thinking about opening my mouth to anyone.

 

[me07]

I am actually more scared of the judgment and shame than actual pain.