Severe Dental Anxiety

[blueice6102]

Hi, I am a 21 year old college student in USA. When I was in elementary school I was picked on so much (just for random things, not for teeth) that i stopped brushing my teeth. Now my teeth are very discolored. They have nice shape, just very yellow/brown. It makes me so sad. Last time I had a dentists visit, I passed out & had to go to the hospital. After she mentioned "sedation" i just passed out. I now know sedation is a good thing. This was in early August, 2011. The dental assistant was rude when she discovered my gag relfex when she was trying to do x-rays. She was talking about how bad my teeth were. The lady she called in to help her was even more rude. They were still rude when I passed out. This office specialized in cosmetic dentistry.. old rich people with perfect teeth. Not used to getting restorative patients who had neglected their mouths.

I am embarrassed to go to the dentist because of how ugly my teeth are. It is so bad because I am young & fairly attractive. I always try to have my mouth closed to avoid showing my teeth. I predict they will probably want to extract most of my teeth & I will need dentures/implants. I have saved $5,000 to pay for it. I am afraid the dentist will belittle me for neglecting my teeth. I am afraid the initial exam will be painful. You cant get sedated for that. I am not so worried about the actual work, where you can be sedated. I am freaked out about the initial exam and hearing how bad off I am. I am also afraid to hear how bad they are in dental terms, and what needs to be done. I know i require extensive treatment. Extractions.. root canals.. gum therapy.. I will try to find a dentist specializing in restorative/dental anxiety patients sometime middle of 2013. I will just try & brush twice daily and do some flossing till then. I hope all of us can overcome our fears. My major fear is the dentist & his staff being rude/mean and belittling us people who have neglected our teeth. I am embarrassed to show the staff and dentists my ugly discolored teeth. Thanks for reading, I just needed to vent. This is the best site for us dental anxiety people.

 

[soscared1]

Hi blueice,
I'm a 33 yr old girl from australia. I so understand your phobia and what you say about the initial consult. I wasn't so much afraid if the pain of getting work done either- more about the first consult and the embarrassment that comes with not having been to the dentist in years ( in my case, since I was at school!)
Please believe me when I say that if you find the right dentist, it's not nearly as bad as you imagine in your mind. I couldn't even say the word dentist 2 months ago - I didn't think anyone was more phobic than me... But for some reason, something made me find this forum .... And it helped me so much. I thought I'd need all my teeth extracted and end up with dentures - and had all these awful thoughts in my head... In the end, I needed 2 extractions, 3 fillings, a proper clean and my wisdom teeth taken out ( which is still to come under general in 3 weeks.... Ahhh!) it will not be as bad as you think, I promise you.
Is there a reason you are waiting til mid 2013? You will feel so good if you can build up the courage to make the appointment soon... Once I had made the appointment, I felt like a weight had been lifted off me... And then after that initial consult- I felt even lighter...I bet you would feel the same way too...then I just wanted everything done right then and there! I got most of the work done in about 6 weeks and now am just waiting to get the wisdoms out and then will start with some cosmetic stuff... ( maybe veneers and whitening if I can afford it...) I just want to shout out to everyone out there who has this phobia that you can overcome it! I NEVER believed I coukd. I actually had visions of me dying with bad teeth and how people would never be able to identify me because I wouldn't have any dental records because I wouldn't have been to the dentist for so long....but I did it ... And you can too... You have to believe me when I say that the feeling after you have been is incredible! But you need to find a good dentist first- try googling dentists in your area who specialize in phobic patients... Or ask your friends ( I couldn't do that because I seriously couldn't even talk about dentists with anyone!)
Good luck! Keep us updated with your progress xx

 

[45andAfraid]

Hi blueice,
I'm a 33 yr old girl from australia. I so understand your phobia and what you say about the initial consult. I wasn't so much afraid if the pain of getting work done either- more about the first consult and the embarrassment that comes with not having been to the dentist in years ( in my case, since I was at school!)
Please believe me when I say that if you find the right dentist, it's not nearly as bad as you imagine in your mind. I couldn't even say the word dentist 2 months ago - I didn't think anyone was more phobic than me... But for some reason, something made me find this forum .... And it helped me so much. I thought I'd need all my teeth extracted and end up with dentures - and had all these awful thoughts in my head... In the end, I needed 2 extractions, 3 fillings, a proper clean and my wisdom teeth taken out ( which is still to come under general in 3 weeks.... Ahhh!) it will not be as bad as you think, I promise you.
Is there a reason you are waiting til mid 2013? You will feel so good if you can build up the courage to make the appointment soon... Once I had made the appointment, I felt like a weight had been lifted off me... And then after that initial consult- I felt even lighter...I bet you would feel the same way too...then I just wanted everything done right then and there! I got most of the work done in about 6 weeks and now am just waiting to get the wisdoms out and then will start with some cosmetic stuff... ( maybe veneers and whitening if I can afford it...) I just want to shout out to everyone out there who has this phobia that you can overcome it! I NEVER believed I coukd. I actually had visions of me dying with bad teeth and how people would never be able to identify me because I wouldn't have any dental records because I wouldn't have been to the dentist for so long....but I did it ... And you can too... You have to believe me when I say that the feeling after you have been is incredible! But you need to find a good dentist first- try googling dentists in your area who specialize in phobic patients... Or ask your friends ( I couldn't do that because I seriously couldn't even talk about dentists with anyone!)
Good luck! Keep us updated with your progress xx

Hey there "semi" neighbour. I'm up in Cairns. I agree with everything you've said... and I really chuckled when I read about dying and not being able to identify because of no dental records. I can't believe how often I've thought of that too! LOL!!

It's true too that the weight is completely lifted off your shoulders once you find the right dentist. And you may have to go through a couple to find the compassionate one. The one who will say, I'm here to help you smile again.

I've got a thread going on here as well under I'm 45 years old .... (or something like that) and then my full blown blog about this whole dental experience.

I hadn't been to a dentist since my wisdoms had to come out when I was 24. I ended up in a social coma and "alone" for so long because of the embarrassment of my own teeth - then I met my partner who didn't care about my teeth and has been super supportive of everything I've been going through thus far.

If you can find a close friend or relative that you can talk to as well, and possibly attend your first consult with you it's even all the better! It helps tremendously to talk about it, or write it all down instead of keeping it all bottled up inside.

For years I avoided everything to do with dentist, even changed the channel when toothpaste or mouthwash commercials came on or left the room if a conversation about teeth started. So I've been there and now I'm on the other side of the fence.

I love brushing what's left of my teeth and my temps (for now! LOL). Love shopping for toothpastes and mouthwash. I feel semi-normal. I still have an extensive amount of work that needs to be done but I"m not even as remotely close to being as fearful as I was 3 months ago.

Also, with my gag reflex, I cannot do dentures so I had to go the expensive route and get a few dental implants with partials that will clip on to them.

Try to find someone now while you are still young. Half my life is over... and I regret not taking care of my teeth properly when I was your age. But I'm ready to start the last half of my life eating stuff I have never been able to and smiling ...

Cheers mate!

 

[blueice6102]

Hey there "semi" neighbour. I'm up in Cairns. I agree with everything you've said... and I really chuckled when I read about dying and not being able to identify because of no dental records. I can't believe how often I've thought of that too! LOL!!

It's true too that the weight is completely lifted off your shoulders once you find the right dentist. And you may have to go through a couple to find the compassionate one. The one who will say, I'm here to help you smile again.

I've got a thread going on here as well under I'm 45 years old .... (or something like that) and then my full blown blog about this whole dental experience.

I hadn't been to a dentist since my wisdoms had to come out when I was 24. I ended up in a social coma and "alone" for so long because of the embarrassment of my own teeth - then I met my partner who didn't care about my teeth and has been super supportive of everything I've been going through thus far.

If you can find a close friend or relative that you can talk to as well, and possibly attend your first consult with you it's even all the better! It helps tremendously to talk about it, or write it all down instead of keeping it all bottled up inside.

For years I avoided everything to do with dentist, even changed the channel when toothpaste or mouthwash commercials came on or left the room if a conversation about teeth started. So I've been there and now I'm on the other side of the fence.

I love brushing what's left of my teeth and my temps (for now! LOL). Love shopping for toothpastes and mouthwash. I feel semi-normal. I still have an extensive amount of work that needs to be done but I"m not even as remotely close to being as fearful as I was 3 months ago.

Also, with my gag reflex, I cannot do dentures so I had to go the expensive route and get a few dental implants with partials that will clip on to them.

Try to find someone now while you are still young. Half my life is over... and I regret not taking care of my teeth properly when I was your age. But I'm ready to start the last half of my life eating stuff I have never been able to and smiling ...

Cheers mate!

im way too embarassed about my teeth to smile. i always try to keep my mouth closed. i bet its impossible to find a partner who will put up with my yellow/brown teeth. i too change the tv when toothpaste/mouthwash/dentist commercials come on. how will i get the money to fix my mouth ugh. so if i have gag reflex.. dentures wont work for me? i will have to to implants or bridges?

 

[blueice6102]

Hi blueice,
I'm a 33 yr old girl from australia. I so understand your phobia and what you say about the initial consult. I wasn't so much afraid if the pain of getting work done either- more about the first consult and the embarrassment that comes with not having been to the dentist in years ( in my case, since I was at school!)
Please believe me when I say that if you find the right dentist, it's not nearly as bad as you imagine in your mind. I couldn't even say the word dentist 2 months ago - I didn't think anyone was more phobic than me... But for some reason, something made me find this forum .... And it helped me so much. I thought I'd need all my teeth extracted and end up with dentures - and had all these awful thoughts in my head... In the end, I needed 2 extractions, 3 fillings, a proper clean and my wisdom teeth taken out ( which is still to come under general in 3 weeks.... Ahhh!) it will not be as bad as you think, I promise you.
Is there a reason you are waiting til mid 2013? You will feel so good if you can build up the courage to make the appointment soon... Once I had made the appointment, I felt like a weight had been lifted off me... And then after that initial consult- I felt even lighter...I bet you would feel the same way too...then I just wanted everything done right then and there! I got most of the work done in about 6 weeks and now am just waiting to get the wisdoms out and then will start with some cosmetic stuff... ( maybe veneers and whitening if I can afford it...) I just want to shout out to everyone out there who has this phobia that you can overcome it! I NEVER believed I coukd. I actually had visions of me dying with bad teeth and how people would never be able to identify me because I wouldn't have any dental records because I wouldn't have been to the dentist for so long....but I did it ... And you can too... You have to believe me when I say that the feeling after you have been is incredible! But you need to find a good dentist first- try googling dentists in your area who specialize in phobic patients... Or ask your friends ( I couldn't do that because I seriously couldn't even talk about dentists with anyone!)
Good luck! Keep us updated with your progress xx

im so embarassed that the dentist will make fun of my teeth and not want to take me as a patient. they want the patients who only need a light cleaning and want cosmetic whitening and veneers. i probably need root canals.. extractions.. implants.. dentures.. ugh. i am convinced i have cavities in all my teeth and will need half them extracted. im waiting till 2013, cuz i will have a 4-6 thousand dollars to spend at the dentist.

 

[45andAfraid]

im so embarassed that the dentist will make fun of my teeth and not want to take me as a patient. they want the patients who only need a light cleaning and want cosmetic whitening and veneers. i probably need root canals.. extractions.. implants.. dentures.. ugh. i am convinced i have cavities in all my teeth and will need half them extracted. im waiting till 2013, cuz i will have a 4-6 thousand dollars to spend at the dentist.

That's why you need to find a dentist who treats phobics or people with fears and anxieties. Don't just "pick" a dentist. Also, talk to people you trust and find out by word of mouth if you have to about finding the right dentist. You can't give up just because you're afraid to open your mouth. You say you just have staining? Or is there more? I had severe gum disease, periodontal disease, rotting and broken molars - disgusting really and extremely embarrassing, not to mention crooked teeth. I have pictures posted on my blog if you want to see how bad there were.

The initial fear is that first consultation and getting over that humiliating feeling of having a dentist look at your teeth but the RIGHT one will not put you down or reprimand you, they'll be a lot more sensitive to your feelings. THAT is the RIGHT one.

Everyone thinks their teeth are the worst. I thought MINE were... but my dentist said he had treated much worse than mine and after only talking to him 4 times, he finally got a real look at my teeth (instead of just X-rays) and said he could actually save a few of mine.

My gag reflex is so severe that I gag on certain foods. So it really depends on the severity of your gag reflex if you can withstand dentures. Some people gag when putting them in, like my mum does, but once they're in, she's fine. I gag if something is even hovering in my mouth. I think most of that is psychological but for the most part I'm extremely sensitive. I can't chew gum, suck on a lolly, or hold a pen between my teeth without gagging.

Bridges are pretty much temporary. Partials is the word you would want. I'm having 6 implants - 4 on top and 2 on the bottom. The implants will be the anchors for my partials so that nothing will have to touch the roof of my mouth. The sides of my tongue are also extremely prone to gagging which is why I can't chew gum. My tops will not be a complete set of teeth so that I won't gag with the partials that will be in place. I"ll have a couple molars on each side to chew, where as I've only got 1 to chew with on my right side. Makes eating difficult right now.

Don't worry about what you "think" is to come until you know the exact extent of your mouth. You could just need a good deep cleaning - some fillings and whatnot. But find the dentist first and if you can't make phone calls, then try emailing first. Go through the yellow pages of the phone book and look for key words in the description, such as working with anxious or fearful people, compassionate, etc...

 

[soscared1]

45andafraid is right about everything. Your teeth will not be the worst a dentist has ever seen. That's exactly what I thought too, and I wa crying and shaking at my first consult- I felt like such an idiot... But I told the dentist what I thought- that I seriously thought I had the worst teeth in the world and I'd bet she'd agree... But she didn't - in fact she said that for a person who hadn't been to the dentist in 17 yrs my teeth were very clean altho she admitted I needed a lot of work. A lot of the things that I thought were holes were actually not. I still have some spots that are a bit black but she said it was just superficial and if I want she can put a tiny filling in to make them completely white but that it's not necessary. So please please please don't assume the worst. I did and it made me not go to the dentist for way too long. I wasted so much if my life worried about my teeth to the point that it affected my life. I am still embarrassed as none of the cosmetic work has been done yet but at least I know they are healthy on the inside now. In fact "45and afraid" you were one of the first blogs I read and your experiences definitely helped me
in making that initial appointment so thank you!!! ( I think you may have responded to one of my past threads too) if I can help someone like you helped me, I would be happy.

I know that a lot of dentists have payment plans now that can help. Please don't wait til 2013 to go. Try and find a dentist who specializes in people like us and call and see if they can help with a payment plan. There has to be a way that you can start to get the treatment that you ( think) that you need.