• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

Severe dental anxiety



Junior member
Aug 14, 2020
I have severe dental anxiety. Recently, I had a lengthy procedure done(extractions and implants) and I was very nervous and irritable. My Bp was very high. A few days later I wrote the office manager an email explaining where my anxiety comes from(childhood dentist and past sexual assaults). I have not received any reply back at all and now feel like a fool for writing the email.Was it a mistake to write the email?
Hi Lynn111 and :welcome: !

No, of course it wasn't a mistake - that must have taken a lot of courage! As many dentists will tell you, they're really glad to know these things as it helps them help you and understand you better:

There are so many reasons why you may not have received a reply. Maybe it got lost in the spam folder or accidentally deleted. Or it was opened by someone other than the intended recipient, who then forgot to alert them to the email. Of course, it's also possible that the office manager wasn't sure how best to react and thought they'd have a wee think about what to reply, and then forgot (which wouldn't reflect well on the dental office, but these things happen). Or it could just be that they're taking a while to get back to you. How long has it been since you sent the email?
Anyway, just wanted to reassure you that you did the right thing :grouphug:
Thank you. It’s been 7 days now. Perhaps you’re right and she just got busy and forgot to reply.
Lynn, of course it wasn't a mistake - in my view, it was a gift of openness and vulnerability you gave them! That was really courageous. Are you having another appointment there soon?
Next appointment in 2 months. To be honest, feeling embarrassed to go back.
Oh Lynn, I so hear you.. you did this courageous thing and made yourself vulnerable, in a setting that is difficult anyway and now not knowing what they think or why they didn't reply can be quite painful in this context. I wished they gave you some reassurance, this is such a big deal.. Would you like to share your thoughts on what you think is happening? Anything particular that makes you feel embarrassed?

The good thing is that two months are enough time to either 1) find something that could make the next visit easier for you or 2) for them to forget about it or 3) for you to feel better as time passes
I guess I was hoping for a reply. I just wanted them to understand why my anxiety is so high when I’m there and that I don’t mean to be so uptight and tense. But, now since I received no reply, I’m thinking I shouldn’t have written the email. Yeah, by the time of next appointment- they’ll forget I wrote it if they even read it. So, maybe it’s not a good idea to let the dentist know the why of my anxiety.
Hi there,

Don't beat yourself up about it. They probably read it and put it in your file under the "good to know" section. It's nothing you should feel badly about. If anything they will appreciate the added info. Relax:)