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Sherrie's journal - a journy to trying to defeat dental phobia.

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ACNLGal2013

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Dec 12, 2013
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587
Did the appt. Upper is loose w/o fixident but fits fine w/ it. Whatever.

Having one of those days where its like "How can i've gone through this much crap and feels like i've gotten no where even though i have". Deep cleaning, 14 extractions plus a pair of partials, 2 fillings for the main stuff. Plus another 4 fillings plus 1 cleaning w/ another cleaning most likely around the corner. Plus a ton of Partial adjustments. BLEH.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Dec 12, 2013
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And you can add to that list another dental cleaning. Got one for this afternoon. Dental phobic part of my brain is currently trying to beat me to a pulp and i'm fighting hard not to have an anxiety attack.

I don't even know why i'm freaking out this hard. Its a freaking cleaning and that's going to be it since that's all i can afford. I'm not getting shot, drilled, filled, yanked or anything.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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BAH! What's the point of flossing if they don't believe you're flossing? Got the stupid cleaning and another person did the polish paste and flossing part like last time and after she was done she started going on and on about how i need to be flossing more often and on and on. I told her i did every night(Ok fine honestly nearly every night. I miss a day from time to time like all normal people do) and she still talked about needing to make sure you do it. And sent me on my way w/ 4 extra rolls of floss.

I mean sure its great that i now have an additional 4 spools plus the one in the bag of floss i love plus the 3 and a partial rolls i have here at home but this has been eating at me all afternoon.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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About a week and a half until the 3.5 year anniversary of me making the mistake of starting my dental journey. Regret is still as strong as ever.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Today marks 4 years ago to the day that i started that stupid dental journey. Still filled w/ regrets and what-ifs. Guess the only upside is that after this long i'm starting to have more days of just feel empty and nothing when i think back. Feeling nothing is better then feeling like giving up all hope on going on i guess.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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About 4.5 years since making the mistake of starting my dental journey. Just wish I could get my brain to shut up. Its like part of my brain is trying to yank me back into the world of dental visits even though I'm trying to fully revert back into dental phobic where at least I was happy.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Dec 12, 2013
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FML. Thought i was finally breaking back thru to the dental phobic side. Been spending the last nearly week feeling beyond amazing. Up until i realized the horror. Day b4 yesterday felt a weird spot on a back tooth(2nd molar, right side)

Got a better look in the mirror last night after we returned from a short trip. Looks like a small cavity or something is starting to form and there's a weird area on a bottom tooth(Whatever the tooth that's in front of where my lower molars should be is called).

Used one of the picks from the kit to see what was going on. I used the rubbery pick to rub at it a little. Part of it started to come off which is a sign that that part is most likely a stain but there's stuff in a little like "pit" that didn't really come loose and most is still there so that might be another cavity.

I FUCKING GIVE UP! I want to go back to being a dental phob worse then you can believe but i can't when my teeth hate me!
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Groan. Did the appt. Turns out my fears were right. 3 cavities though he said the 2 on one tooth would be treated as one cavity. Would of run 500 bucks to do both today so I opted to do the 2 on 1 tooth today and save up to do the lower next time.

Survived.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Got the other filling done yesterday.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Dec 12, 2013
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587
Just having a really rough time. I'm currently stuck in one of those living nightmares where its like i was reverted back to dental phobia but now everything is rearing its ugly head. Again.

I hate this. I'm probably going to be lining up at appointment on Monday. i don't want to do it. Problem is i'm desperate to be able to get back into my dental phobia cycle and stop feeling this rotten. Judging by the past, this is the only way i can do it.

Though on a side note.... It's really been almost 5 and a half years since i started this???? Feels like so much longer.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Went in. Cleaning went well. Had 2 small cavities that got dealt with.
 
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ACNLGal2013

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Dec 12, 2013
Messages
587
De-numbed and ate dinner a while ago. Just so aggravated. its like i'm more cavity prone then normal people or something. There's no excuse for this. Its... its like seriously there's part of me wishing i never did this just on the grounds of all the bull i'm having to catch w/ the cavity factor alone!! Including the original 2 i'm standing at a total of... 9 plus what was either a cavity or a random small whole that resulted from losing a tiny piece of tooth after eating peppermint taffy candy.

I mean its bad enough i'm still occasionally getting backflashes but at least those i can control and escape from if i play my cards right.

Cavities? There's no escaping that.
 
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