Should I do anything???

[CRChinita]

I put my husband's birthdate on the form. We have been together for 20 years. He finally told me tonight that he has broken a molar (broke 3 months ago! ) and it now hurts so bad, he can hardly stand it. In 20 years, he has only gone one other time to a dentist for a similar problem and the tooth had to be extracted. I arranged for sedation for him and he was a basket case for days before the big event. He refuses to talk about it and I am thinking I will just have to wait until he can finally get up the courage to go see a dentist. In the meantime, he is hardly eating, talking or doing much of anything. Trying to be sympathetic but losing my patience!

 

[geos]

I would simply remind him that the only solution is to go to a dentist to see what can be done and having the dentist take care of it. You clearly love him, so remind him of that and that you are there for him. Maybe let him know that it hurts you seeing him in this situation. Also remind him that all you wish is for him to get better and you will provide him with all the support he needs.

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Hi,

just want to share my website treatyourdentalfear.com which has many cute short videos I made about this topic. The videos are gentle, positive and short. Hope it helps.

 

[Enarete]

I put my husband's birthdate on the form. We have been together for 20 years. He finally told me tonight that he has broken a molar (broke 3 months ago! ) and it now hurts so bad, he can hardly stand it. In 20 years, he has only gone one other time to a dentist for a similar problem and the tooth had to be extracted. I arranged for sedation for him and he was a basket case for days before the big event. He refuses to talk about it and I am thinking I will just have to wait until he can finally get up the courage to go see a dentist. In the meantime, he is hardly eating, talking or doing much of anything. Trying to be sympathetic but losing my patience!

Hi CRChinita,

I see how you‘re trying to help the best you can, you don‘t want him to suffer and it sounds like you put in efforts and it‘s difficult to see that he keeps isolating and struggles to move on. If he only simply went to the dentist, used the sedation and had the tooth out, things would be ok soon again, right?
For people who do not struggle with dental visits, it can be very difficult to grasp the amount of terror and avoidance that is involved in just thinking of a dental visit. The fact that your husband only was to a dentist once and that he didn‘t tell you for so long and prefers to go through awful pain rather than having it treated shows you how bad his anxiety is. Many people suffered traumatic experience in the dentists office as a child and the aftermath of it can lead to severe avoidance. The behavior of your husband makes a lot of sense and is very common.

I am not sure I understood well where you are at - you scheduled sedation for him but you are not sure he will attend? How are things now? Also, does your husband speak english? Many people found it helpful to let their relatives know that our page exists and then allow them the time to chime in and see they are not alone..

All the ebst wishes